SpinOff: How does your family feel about your dd's Natural Hair??

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

I was posting in -Love,Love*'s thread and it had me thinking about my family and friends who have tried to push me to have my DD's hair relaxed, texturized or processed in some kind of way. And I wondered how many other mothers receive the same kind of comments, about their DD's.

My grandmother and aunt, whom I love dearly, are always commenting about how I should relax my dd's hair to make it easier to "tame". Because it's just "soooo much", they know she's "sooo hot" and don't understand why I let her wear it out because it has to be "horrible to detangle".
I love them so I let them know as nicely as possible She wears her hair how she wants to I ask her how she would like to wear her hair. And her response is usually always, "FREE!" and that if she decides to relax later in life, when she is at an age where she can pay for her own salon appointments, she can get one at that point. However until then I will continue to nurture and maintain her natural hair. Which I remind them is beautiful.

Her father makes comments as well, he was trying to be funny one his weekends with her and sent me a text saying she was in the chair getting a relaxer...I immediatly called and cursed him out (explicitly), only to have him tell me he was joking "but she needs a relaxer".
I again cursed him out and explained to him as her father he should too reinforce to her that what she has is beautiful. I went further to explain if he had anything else negative to say about her appearance to take it up with me and if she told me he had anything to say, that he and I would have a misunderstanding.....

A woman in the bss store approached us in her stylists cape to tell me how thick my DD's hair is, how she's sure I have a horrible time detangling it, how she just relaxed a client who had similar hair and what products and techniques she thought I should use on her hair.
I politely let her know that chemicals are needed to do my childs hair and that I have no issues detangling her hair. She then wanted to know how long it took, I told her from the washing point to the poing where I finish her plats for her to airdry takes me no more than 1 hour. She was amazed and began taking notes from me about what I do and my technique.

But I REFUSE to chemically alter my DD's hair, I personally make it a point to instill in my dd's head that her natural hair is beautiful and I am teaching her now at 10 years old about her hair and how to maintain it so she never feels overwhelmed or let others make her beleive her hair is too much to maintain.

Do any mothers, relaxed, natural, textlaxed, have any stories of friends or family members who want you to relax or texturize your DD's hair??

 

[Mitre]

[Her father makes comments as well, he was trying to be funny one his weekends with her and sent me a text saying she was in the chair getting a relaxer...I immediatly called and cursed him out (explicitly), only to have him tell me he was joking "but she needs a relaxer".
I again cursed him out and explained to him as her father he should too reinforce to her that what she has is beautiful. I went further to explain if he had anything else negative to say about her appearance to take it up with me and if she told me he had anything to say, that he and I would have a misunderstanding.....

You are absolutely correct, it is dire for a father to reinforce his daughter beauty.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Too many threads have been started about 'well meaning' kinfolk doing sneak relaxers so keep up the reminders to all that touching the hair of your child would have dire consequences for the perpetrators!

 

[Miamori]

I am not a mother, so I have nothing to add besides that I would like to encourage you to make sure that anyone who ever has your dd out of your presence understands that doing ANYTHING to her hair without your express permission is unacceptable and extremely dangerous.

 

[Miamori]

But I REFUSE to chemically alter my DD's hair, I personally make it a point to instill in my dd's head that her natural hair is beautiful and I am teaching her now at 10 years old about her hair and how to maintain it so she never feels overwhelmed or let others make her beleive her hair is too much to maintain.

I love this. This is excellent.

 

[SmartyPants]

I am not a mother, so I have nothing to add besides that I would like to encourage you to make sure that anyone who ever has your dd out of your presence understands that doing ANYTHING to her hair without your express permission is unacceptable and extremely dangerous.

If they value THEIR lives!!!!!!

 

[~NanCeBoTwin~]

Oh yes ladies....I'd say everyone knows me and my temper (or sometimes lack there of) very well....But I make sure I am very vocal about my daughters hair and what my expectations are and what it is I'm am trying to accomplish.

 

[msa]

But I REFUSE to chemically alter my DD's hair, I personally make it a point to instill in my dd's head that her natural hair is beautiful and I am teaching her now at 10 years old about her hair and how to maintain it so she never feels overwhelmed or let others make her beleive her hair is too much to maintain.

Do any mothers, relaxed, natural, textlaxed, have any stories of friends or family members who want you to relax or texturize your DD's hair??

MrsRobertson, I really love your philosophy on this issue. I think one of the reasons I've been natural my whole life is because my mother 1)never even talked about relaxers and 2)did as much as she could within her limited knowledge to teach me how to take care of my hair. She wasn't always right but she never complained that my hair was too "thick" or "nappy" or just "too hard to deal with". So I never thought that it was either. I have no need for a relaxer because I've never thought my hair was difficult to manage.

I don't have a dd but when I hear people talking about someone should relax a little girls hair I tell them basically the same thing you say (if I know them well enough). I think it's super important.