Spinoff: "How Do You Get Your Hair To Curl Like That?!""

[carameldelight87]

Was just lookin at AlliCat's thread about people asking "what do you do to your hair?" and started thinking about how much I HATE it when people ask me "how do you get your hair to curl like that?!"

It makes me feel bad when I have to say something like "this is how it grows out of my scalp." I feel bad because I know they want me to say "XYZ product can make your hair look like this too for just $5.99!!!"

I get this question the most when I wear a puff. And you'd be surprised to know that some of these folks askin this question are NATURALS!!

ETA: I don't hate being asked that because it makes me mad, as I said, I feel bad because I can't really answer them. I know they're looking for hope but I have none to give. And again, people who've never seen natural hair, I can understand, but other naturals?! C'mon son!

 

[growinghealthyhair]

I wouldn't get mad/upset. Just tell them it's your natural hair. Everyone who has curly hair isn't curly by natural methods lol. So take it as a compliment. They like your hair. I can't see it as anything but that.

 

[Lynnerie]

Yeah I know how you feel but you can just say I'm natural or I use Product xyz on my natural hair.

No need to feel bad about it tho. Its your hair and if they want to think its the special product thats giving you the curls then thats on them.

 

[Evolving78]

^^^i hear you OP! i get asked that question a lot. it pisses me off when folks think i am lying, and that i just wanna keep secret products/styling to myself. someone asked if i use KCC to make my hair coily/curly. i told her that product is like slim to my hair and does nothing. i had one lady buy a product i use for moisture. she came back to me upset that it didn't change or define her texture. her texture was very straight.

 

[LongLeggedLife]

Nothing to get upset about, alot of people just dont know what natural hair looks like.
Plus there are many styles/products/techniques that allow you to manipulate your curls as you like, so I dont see how anyone would know what you have done to it or how your hair grows.

 

[faithVA]

Was just lookin at @AlliCat's thread about people asking "what do you do to your hair?" and started thinking about how much I HATE it when people ask me "how do you get your hair to curl like that?!"

It makes me feel bad when I have to say something like "this is how it grows out of my scalp." I feel bad because I know they want me to say "XYZ product can make your hair look like this too for just $5.99!!!"

I get this question the most when I wear a puff. And you'd be surprised to know that some of these folks askin this question are NATURALS!!

I'm natural and yeah I probably would come up and ask you and hope you say you got it in a bottle for $5.99. If I don't ask you I won't know. Every time I talk to someone I learn a little bit more. So at some point I will understand my natural hair. Going home and figuring it all out yourself doesn't always work.

Being natural doesn't mean I know what all natural textures look like. But if you said you didn't get it out of a bottle and it just grows that way, I would tell you it looks nice and admire your beautiful hair.

 

[carameldelight87]

^^^i hear you OP! i get asked that question a lot. it pisses me off when folks think i am lying, and that i just wanna keep secret products/styling to myself. someone asked if i use KCC to make my hair coily/curly. i told her that product is like slim to my hair and does nothing. i had one lady buy a product i use for moisture. she came back to me upset that it didn't change or define her texture. her texture was very straight.

YESSSS @ the bolded!!

People are steady looking for that miracle in a bottle.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I seriously don't understand why folks get mad at that question?

I, at one time, have asked that question myself before I became natural. In my ignorance I thought that perhaps a kit or product produced certain curls

When someone asks me that question, I tell them my hair is natural--and that's enough for them without going into detail.

 

[carameldelight87]

I'm natural and yeah I probably would come up and ask you and hope you say you got it in a bottle for $5.99. If I don't ask you I won't know. Every time I talk to someone I learn a little bit more. So at some point I will understand my natural hair. Going home and figuring it all out yourself doesn't always work.

Being natural doesn't mean I know what all natural textures look like. But if you said you didn't get it out of a bottle and it just grows that way, I would tell you it looks nice and admire your beautiful hair.

I can understand that. I just hate that I have no real answer to give them. I wanna help but I really can't.

I also would assume that most naturals acknowledge that all curls are not created equal, so to ask another natural how they got their curl simply because it's different from yours seems kind of redundant. But I guess I can't make that assumption nowadays.

 

[faithVA]

I think unfortunately when we go natural, there is the assumption that you are natural so you know what natural hair looks like. Some of us really don't. I've seen my hair and my mom's hair after its been shampooed and that's it. And without this forum I wouldn't have a clue. So it is a learning game especially for people out in the streets.

So take it easy on us. We really are trying to catch up.

 

[candycotton]

I don't get offended..I think some people may be under the impression that there are products that can make the hair curly..

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

^^^i hear you OP! i get asked that question a lot. it pisses me off when folks think i am lying, and that i just wanna keep secret products/styling to myself. someone asked if i use KCC to make my hair coily/curly. i told her that product is like slim to my hair and does nothing. i had one lady buy a product i use for moisture. she came back to me upset that it didn't change or define her texture. her texture was very straight.

......................she's special!

 

[R4L]

Perhaps it's more of a styling question. If someone's hair looks similar to yours right out of the shower, but they can't maintain that look 3 hours later, that may be why they're asking.

 

[kittikat24]

I think so often people assume the fluffy/cloud like texture of black hair as the only TYPE for african americans..and when its defined coils (whether loose/tight or in-between), it looks like you must've used something to "get it to do that".

 

[omegachick31]

There is a flip side to this because some people don't want to tell you what products they may have used for whatever reason, prime example...

This chick in my MBA program was natural and she came in with her hair all sparkling and ish... and I was like your hair looks great, what did you use on it and she was like oh something I got from back home and she turned her head....so I was like oh this heifer don't want my hair to be all sparkling too, so she not trying to give up the details...

Not saying this is you OP but people have different experiences in life outside of what you are aware of so it is possible someone other than you could have dismissed them when they posed a question regarding natural hair and they may think you are doing the same. So if you are sincere when you tell someone my hair naturally grows this way what is there to feel bad about?

 

[Islandspyce]

You also may be dealing with someone newly natural who has no idea what to do to achieve a nice looking wash and go with curl definition. Also, there is the naturally grows this way hair with no product, and the condish, gel, and Denman defined hair, both ways have nice curls and it is not always easy to tell. Just take it as a compliment that they would like to know your regimen, and preface it by saying "your results may vary".

 

[kbragg]

i don't think it' such a bad question. Braid outs, twist outs, bantu knot outs, flat twist outs, cornrow outs, flexirods, perm rollers, straw sets, etc, all produce a different type of curl pattern on the hair so it's not so out there for someone who's used to a certain texture being most common among African Americans (remember 90% of of are relaxed so the "fro" is pretty much the only texture we're used to seeing) wondering how someone with a similar skin tone and "look" could have a certain texture.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

I don't get offended..I think some people may be under the impression that there are products that can make the hair curly..

OK peeps, let's keep it real. There are some products that make some hair curly. We've all seen people with awesome results from KCC, and Curls, and Miss Jessie's, even though they don't work for everyone.

Everybody who's having a hard time getting their hair to look curly is looking for their "wonder drug." Lighten up on us curl-challenged folk. It's hard out here on the undefined curl pattern population!!!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

People just don't know. Give them an answer or ignore them.

 

[Kurlee]

i feel u and it's annoying. I just say it's natural and I leave it at that.

 

[HauteHippie]

This chick in my MBA program was natural and she came in with her hair all sparkling and ish... and I was like your hair looks great, what did you use on it and she was like oh something I got from back home and she turned her head....so I was like oh this heifer don't want my hair to be all sparkling too, so she not trying to give up the details...

I'm sorry, I laughed out loud when I read this. Sparkling? Tehehe

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[HauteHippie]

I think unfortunately when we go natural, there is the assumption that you are natural so you know what natural hair looks like. Some of us really don't. I've seen my hair and my mom's hair after its been shampooed and that's it. And without this forum I wouldn't have a clue. So it is a learning game especially for people out in the streets.

So take it easy on us. We really are trying to catch up.

Yup! I totally agree! I just had my sister, cousin, and myself. I actually cut my hair once out of ignorance! I thought I'd done something wrong b/c it didn't look "right" and I wanted it to match the "healthy" new hair that was growing! Turns out my texture is just different and it was made more obvious once it reached a certain length.

I found a hair store I like (finally, yay!) and two women asked me questions about products after staring at my head HARD! Neither women had hair like me (one was a thicker strand, high density, coily 4b and the other was a 3a/3b both with about 2-3 inches of hair so I'm guessing they were new). It was after work so we talked for a minute. I made some suggestions and also told them, you know, our hair is different so you may need something lighter or more moisturizing. No biggie.

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