Spinoff: Do I Really Love My Hair? (kinda long..sorry)

[secretdiamond]

Ok, I hope I type this so that it doesn't offend anyone or cause people to want to stone me. I've mentioned several times of how some issues about hair have been weighing on my mind but I've been too scared. I feared how people would react and if I would articulate my feelings as clear as I should.

ANYWAY, the thread about our hair being difficult has motivated me to ask this question and I would love for your ladies on this board to help me figure this out:

Do I really love my hair??? *This question is about me personally and I am in no way trying to reflect it onto others*

I'm sorry to bring it up again, but it's about the whole natural vs. relaxed thing. After being here for some time, I felt like I learned to love my hair better and gain a new love and appreciation for natural hair. I ADMIRE natural hair (esp. 4a/4b) and those who wear it natural. I even speak about natural hair and the beauty of it with my best friend all the time (who is not black with type1-2 hair). I try to educate her to love it also. I also speak about it with my other friend (black) who has midback length hair (3c-relaxed). Both of my friends are not as fond of 'natural' hair as I am and don't share my appreciation. Whenever I say "wow look, her hair (@ a natural 4a/4b) is so beautiful," I usually get silence and a blank stare.

Moreover, I often find myself telling people, "I love my black hair and I don't want any other type of hair & don't wish to be mixed, white, or have indian in my family. I'm proud of who I am and how my hair was made. My hair is beautiful." etc. But a lot of times I ask myself, "So why do I relax it? If I'm telling these people how beautiful it is and how proud I am, why do I relax it?"

The biggest slap in the face came when I was among a group of Indian people (friends I guess). We were all joking and laughing. Then the topic about race came up. The Indian guys said how women of their race are the most beautiful. I responded saying, that it's okay if you guys don't want black women, I prefer black men myself. (We were supposed to be joking here) But then he said, "No you don't. You want to marry us so your kids can have straight hair. You know you do." My face went

I was shocked and speechless and wanted to go off on a "I love my hair!" rant but I didn't know how to with me looking at him with hair on my head that has been chemically forced to be straight. Plus, I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to go natural at this point. I even have stopped stretching recently and will never texlax again. So...

DO I REALLY LOVE MY HAIR?

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Wow, this is deep. I won't comment on you, but I know how you feel about the relaxing/love thing.

I have no problem admitting that my natural hair is a pain in my arse. It's so difficult to deal with. I can't stand detangling when I am post relaxer, period. So anyone who chooses to relax for this reason I can completely understand.

But what I don't understand are the people who claim they can easily deal with their natural hair AND they love it so much yet they relax. You will see them in a thread talking about how soft their newgrowth is, and how they love to touch it and how they have so much love for it but continue to relax it every X amount of weeks. I sometimes feel like people get so caught up in being PC, that it obviously shows through their posts. The post will be the most beautiful post in the world about how soft/easily managable their natural hair is, then I will scroll down only to see that they are relaxed in their siggy.

Anyways, I'm off on a tangant as usual, just wanted to say I can empathize with you. I wouldn't have known what to say if I was in your shoes.erplexed

 

[Demi27]

Wow. I ain't gonna lie. This is a deep one, but a good subject none the less.

It does not sound to me like you do not like you hair. I think you just like it in a different state. I never liked when people would say that I don't like my natural hair because I relax it (when it's not in braids). My hair has been relaxed since I was very young, and I've never actually worn my hair all natural, so having it relaxed is what's normal to me. For me, it's a personal choice to relax it and I don't think I love my hair any less just because I don't wear it natural. You probably have yours relaxed for the same reason many do. For some, it's just easier to handle when it's in a relaxed state (that's just my opinon - not gospel or anything).

Now as far as the comment that one of your "friends" made, that's just ignorace, but I'm not really surprised that he's made the statement. He's probably heard many black women say to him or his friends (who have the same hair type), "Oh. Your hair is so pretty. You have 'good hair'". I've heard it said over and over again. No wonder he thinks that way. So many African Americans were (and some still are) brainwashed about what good hair is. I personally, love my hair b/c I can wear it any way that I want - straight, curly, etc. I'm 4a/b by the way. I can do anything that I want to my hair. However, many of "us" were brought up thinking that anything kinky was not beautiful. It was "too black." Once again, that's ignorance. That's probably why he made the statement.

Wearing your hair relaxed does not mean that you love it any less than if it was in it's natural state. It's just a personal preference and you shouldn't worry about whether or not other people think that you love your hair enough. All of our hair is beautiful regardless of what state it's in. If you say you love your hair then you love it. That's all that matters.
Bump the rest!!!

 

[patient1]

Nevermind.

p1

 

[navsegda]

Wow, this is deep. I won't comment on you, but I know how you feel about the relaxing/love thing.

I have no problem admitting that my natural hair is a pain in my arse. It's so difficult to deal with. I can't stand detangling when I am post relaxer, period. So anyone who chooses to relax for this reason I can completely understand.

But what I don't understand are the people who claim they can easily deal with their natural hair AND they love it so much yet they relax. You will see them in a thread talking about how soft their newgrowth is, and how they love to touch it and how they have so much love for it but continue to relax it every X amount of weeks. I sometimes feel like people get so caught up in being PC, that it obviously shows through their posts. The post will be the most beautiful post in the world about how soft/easily managable their natural hair is, then I will scroll down only to see that they are relaxed in their siggy.

Anyways, I'm off on a tangant as usual, just wanted to say I can empathize with you. I wouldn't have known what to say if I was in your shoes.erplexed

*claps until her hands hurt* GIRL, RIGHT ON! If those of us who are relaxed love our natural texture so freaking much, then why are we using chemicals to alter the state of our hair? You can love natural hair on others but that doesn't mean you like it or even moreso, want it for yourself. We can all split hairs (no pun intended) and say "I only relax to make my hair more manageable" but come on now? Let's get real. There are products we can use to make our hair more manageable without relaxing it.

And with that being said, just because you like straight hair doesn't mean you like black people any less or that you are conforming to society's beauty standards. If everyone and their mom decided to wear their hair curly right now, I would still stay straight because that's what I like best on me.

 

[Amarech]

And with that being said, just because you like straight hair doesn't mean you like black people any less or that you are conforming to society's beauty standards. If everyone and their mom decided to wear their hair curly right now, I would still stay straight because that's what I like best on me.

__________________
Thank you for saying this. I love straight hair and make no apologies about it. I also like it on myself. I don't believe for one second that "nappy" hair is inferior or less beautiful than straight hair nor do I feel that black folks are cursed with nappy hair. Just like if you asked me do I prefer oranges or mangos. Oranges taste real good, but I loooove mangos.

 

[secretdiamond]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I was checking in here and there but I'm in a rush so I can't stay on long or comment too much yet.

But patient1, earlier I read your post that I just LOVED! I was coming by here to comment on it and now it's gone. What happened? Either way thanks for what you posted before. This subject is something I have been struggling with for a while now. I'm so happy to read everyone's insight.

I'll be back tom. to comment.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Secretdiamond,

This is a fascinating topic.

I didn't perm my hair out of self hate. I continued to perm my hair as an adult because I remembered having a sore scalp and a tired irritated mama from my pre-perm days as a kid. I was also under the misapprehension that perm was what made my hair grow and that once I stopped perming, my hair would naturally fall out and be as short as those women on the Sally-Struthers-send-money-to-Africa commericals.

I think that because there is so much misinformation, tradition, and bad hair practices that influences why black women perm in the first place that wrapping it into a neat little 'self hatred' package oversimplifies the issue.

 

[Mystic]

SD, this is very deep and thought provoking.

For me, having my hair relaxed or natural is not an extension of loving or hating my hair. I don't even think about it. The state of my hair is an extension of my personality; I hate doing the same thing day in day out! and I could never wear my hair one way all the time. I am extremely happy that I am not caucasion (especially the thin hair ones) because I could not imagine having the same straight texture or same style for the rest of my life! I absolutely love my hair! I am not going to lie and say I always love my hair because when my hair looked the way it did in the first pic in my siggy, I hated it! I never loved my natural hair when I was a child because I hated the way my mom combed it - it was painful. I flip between natural and relax; I had my hair natural 4 years ago and I loved it! I got bored after a while so I am now relaxed. Variety is the spice of life for me so even though I love my hair natural and relaxed, I can't see myself sticking to just one for the rest of my life.

 

[patient1]

Whew! The power of a good night's sleep!
p1

eta: Jcoily, I am humbled and honored that YOU'D quote me. I mean that sis...

 

[cocoberry10]

Excellent Thread!

I understand what everyone is saying. I feel that everyone has hair struggles. Do you notice that white women with brown hair dye it blonde? Blonde women go darker, people with straight hair perm it (curly perm) and people with naturally curly/kinky hair make it straight!

Are you seeing the pattern here?

I think it depends on the individual. I think many of us who relax do find it easier to manage our hair in that state. Each strand on my head is fine, but i have a lot of it, so it's "thick" if that makes sense. I find it easier to manage my hair for the styles that I wear by relaxing it. I went natural for a few years, and did enjoy it, but it also took forever to do, no matter how I wore it.

Even the "wash and go" look wasn't so simple, as you still have to detangle, etc.

I think the world has taught us to hate ourselves so much, that everyone assumes we do and that's why I think your friend made that comment. In many cases unfortunately, he may have been speaking the truth to some. But not all! Just b/c you change something doesn't mean you HATE yourself. If you colored your hair, it could be just b/c you want to try something different. Yes, I admit that I've hated my hair before, especially before this site. However, since coming here and seeing all the beautiful, healthy heads of hair of different textures, I've learned to work with what I've got. And relaxed straight or natural, I now know how to "work it!"

 

[Mars_Reiko]

Excellent Thread!

I understand what everyone is saying. I feel that everyone has hair struggles. Do you notice that white women with brown hair dye it blonde? Blonde women go darker, people with straight hair perm it (curly perm) and people with naturally curly/kinky hair make it straight!

Are you seeing the pattern here?

I think it depends on the individual. I think many of us who relax do find it easier to manage our hair in that state. Each strand on my head is fine, but i have a lot of it, so it's "thick" if that makes sense. I find it easier to manage my hair for the styles that I wear by relaxing it. I went natural for a few years, and did enjoy it, but it also took forever to do, no matter how I wore it.

Even the "wash and go" look wasn't so simple, as you still have to detangle, etc.

I think the world has taught us to hate ourselves so much, that everyone assumes we do and that's why I think your friend made that comment. In many cases unfortunately, he may have been speaking the truth to some. But not all! Just b/c you change something doesn't mean you HATE yourself. If you colored your hair, it could be just b/c you want to try something different. Yes, I admit that I've hated my hair before, especially before this site. However, since coming here and seeing all the beautiful, healthy heads of hair of different textures, I've learned to work with what I've got. And relaxed straight or natural, I now know how to "work it!"

Great topic BTW. I agree. It's seems to me that people make a bigger deal out our hair (African American hair) and what we chose to do to it. There were times with me also when I disliked my hair. But now I know that it wasn't my hair, but what I was doing (or wasn't doing) that made me dislike it so much. When I found this site and start to properly cater to my hair needs, I began to appreciate my hair. My thing was, I lacked proper moisture, so my hair would always be dry and break/slpit at the ends.

Anywho, I think it's ridiculous for anyone to think that we hate our hair for whatever reason. As stated in Cocoberry10's post, some people change things to what they can't have naturally. Such as a different hair color, straightness, curls, etc. I guess since alot of women wear acrylic nails, they must hate their real nails.

I think whatever a person does to their appearance is simply a choice to try something different.

 

[navsegda]

__________________
Thank you for saying this. I love straight hair and make no apologies about it. I also like it on myself. I don't believe for one second that "nappy" hair is inferior or less beautiful than straight hair nor do I feel that black folks are cursed with nappy hair. Just like if you asked me do I prefer oranges or mangos. Oranges taste real good, but I loooove mangos.

Exactly. I love horses; however I like some better than others. I think Appaloosas are beautiful and yeah, I'll ride them but I'd prefer owning and riding a Percheron, Shire, or Clydesdale any day over an Appaloosa.

 

[Qetesh]

this thread is interesting.

i think black women in general are putting to much infasis on how they feel about themselves on thier hair. there are plently of white women out there who will openly admit that they hate thier hair, and its no big huge hatred thing for them. i guess because our hair is so unigue we/others feel we have to love it natural in order to love ourselves.... to me thats bull****.

I personally dont relax generally because growing up I never did so i got used to dealing with my natural hair. now that i am older and i could relax if i choose to i still dont because i now appreciate my natural hair and like a previous poster said i like having the option of wearing my hair silky straight or wearing it wavy and kinky it gives me varity i can go from waistlength to shoulderlength in a matter of a few hours and i do appreciate that. now because i choose to flat iron my hair occationally does not mean i love my natural hair any less, i jus want a change from the "big" hair and sometimes i want to see it silky. where as sometimes i like seeing if "big"

i think women who do relax thier hair they have honestly gotten used to that hair texture, much like me and my natural-flat ironed hair, whatever the case people should not be looked down upon because of the state they personally prefer thier hair in because they can still appreciate the opposite end of the specturm. black hair can be beautiful in any state.

 

[Junonia]

Excellent Thread!

I understand what everyone is saying. I feel that everyone has hair struggles. Do you notice that white women with brown hair dye it blonde? Blonde women go darker, people with straight hair perm it (curly perm) and people with naturally curly/kinky hair make it straight!

ITA...IMO many groups of opinions can't acheive the styles that we can because our texture is so versatile.

 

[secretdiamond]

These responses are so deep, intelligent, and mind-stimulating! Thanks ladies. After reading your responses, I realize that yeah, I could have stared him down and tell him how much I love my hair.

i think women who do relax thier hair they have honestly gotten used to that hair texture, much like me and my natural-flat ironed hair, whatever the case people should not be looked down upon because of the state they personally prefer thier hair in because they can still appreciate the opposite end of the specturm. black hair can be beautiful in any state.

I think this is it for me. I just couldn't get used with dealing with my natural texture and my relaxed hair at the same time so I stopped stretching. My hair was falling out and breaking so much.

I guess since alot of women wear acrylic nails, they must hate their real nails.

This is also very interesting. I used to wear them a lot, but I stopped years ago to baby my real nails so that they could grow healthy themselves. My real nails were so weak when I took them off. This is funny b/c it reminds me of when people decide to go natural and transition with their hair. I had to wait for my weak nails to grow out before the strong healthy nails could grow in. :scratchch

I was also under the misapprehension that perm was what made my hair grow and that once I stopped perming, my hair would naturally fall out and be as short as those women on the Sally-Struthers-send-money-to-Africa commericals.

! !!
Thanks Jcoily for your response I was actually thinking of you when I was writing this thread. I *almost* titled it "JCoily! I'm Finally Bout To Take Some of that Fukitol After All!" *almost*

 

[seraphinelle]

I feel sometimes that I have to prove that I lilke my natural hair to non-blacks.

I'm sick of explaining myself.

Yes my hair grows. Do you not see my black roots and tired red ends?

WTF

 

[secretdiamond]

Wow, this is deep. I won't comment on you, but I know how you feel about the relaxing/love thing.

I have no problem admitting that my natural hair is a pain in my arse. It's so difficult to deal with. I can't stand detangling when I am post relaxer, period. So anyone who chooses to relax for this reason I can completely understand.

But what I don't understand are the people who claim they can easily deal with their natural hair AND they love it so much yet they relax. You will see them in a thread talking about how soft their newgrowth is, and how they love to touch it and how they have so much love for it but continue to relax it every X amount of weeks. I sometimes feel like people get so caught up in being PC, that it obviously shows through their posts. The post will be the most beautiful post in the world about how soft/easily managable their natural hair is, then I will scroll down only to see that they are relaxed in their siggy.

Anyways, I'm off on a tangant as usual, just wanted to say I can empathize with you. I wouldn't have known what to say if I was in your shoes.erplexed

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this.

About the bolded, I think those are the same people who usually tend to transition later on in life. I guessing if they loved their newgrowth so much, that after reaching their goals while being relaxed, they may just want to take that plunge and go natural. I'm just guessing here though. I too loved the feel of my newgrowth when I would strecth b/c I hadn't seen or paid close attention to it in soo long. I loved how it looked, but actually dealing with it was a whole other ball game. So now I'd rather not deal with it so much anymore. (this is where I tend to feel guilty)

__________________
Just like if you asked me do I prefer oranges or mangos. Oranges taste real good, but I loooove mangos.

I love this analogy b/c I really do love both those fruits! And yeah, mangos taste better, but that doesn't diminish my love for oranges. Thanks.

Now as far as the comment that one of your "friends" made, that's just ignorace, but I'm not really surprised that he's made the statement. He's probably heard many black women say to him or his friends (who have the same hair type), "Oh. Your hair is so pretty. You have 'good hair'". I've heard it said over and over again. No wonder he thinks that way. So many African Americans were (and some still are) brainwashed about what good hair is. I personally, love my hair b/c I can wear it any way that I want - straight, curly, etc. I'm 4a/b by the way. I can do anything that I want to my hair. However, many of "us" were brought up thinking that anything kinky was not beautiful. It was "too black." Once again, that's ignorance. That's probably why he made the statement.

Wearing your hair relaxed does not mean that you love it any less than if it was in it's natural state. It's just a personal preference and you shouldn't worry about whether or not other people think that you love your hair enough. All of our hair is beautiful regardless of what state it's in. If you say you love your hair then you love it. That's all that matters.
Bump the rest!!!

About the bolded, you're probably very right, and that's where I wanted to come in and show him differently-- that not all black people want 'his' hair. I just felt weird. But now I will try to show him so, even with my relaxed behind.

About the underlined, yes!

 

[seraphinelle]

And to the OP

If I was in your ****uation, I would respond the same way I would respond to a black person that once said the same stupidness to me.

And I guarantee they'd have nothing to say afterwards.

Many non-blacks have warped views of black people and their skin and their hair.

But that is only from what they see on the television.

I once had a picture of me when I was younger with my hair pressed, APL, people asked if it was a weave.

After I said no, they wouldn't believe me. But it's not my duty to make people believe me.

 

[B_Phlyy]

i think black women in general are putting to much infasis on how they feel about themselves on thier hair. there are plently of white women out there who will openly admit that they hate thier hair, and its no big huge hatred thing for them. i guess because our hair is so unigue we/others feel we have to love it natural in order to love ourselves.... to me thats bull****.

I agree with this point. This is slightly off topic, but everytime I hear India A.rie's song I Am Not My Hair, this thought comes to mind.

I never heard of relaxing equals self-hate or hatred of natural hair until I came to boards, and I still don't see what the big deal with it. Because even with a relaxer, nobody's going to mistake a black women for anything else.

I've honestly don't know if I've ever hated my hair, but there have been times in my life where I was so frsutrated with it that I wanted to scalp myself. I'm transitioning because I want to see what my natural hair looks like, but that's not saying I won't ever go back to relaxing because I did like my relaxed hair.

 

[seraphinelle]

I don't think relaxing isn't a self-hate issue. But it certainly didn't begin as a self-love thing.

 

[secretdiamond]

And to the OP

If I was in your ****uation, I would respond the same way I would respond to a black person that once said the same stupidness to me.

And I guarantee they'd have nothing to say afterwards.

Many non-blacks have warped views of black people and their skin and their hair.

But that is only from what they see on the television.

I once had a picture of me when I was younger with my hair pressed, APL, people asked if it was a weave.

After I said no, they wouldn't believe me. But it's not my duty to make people believe me.

What would have your response been?

I don't think relaxing isn't a self-hate issue. But it certainly didn't begin as a self-love thing.

Can you elaborate more please?

 

[seraphinelle]

In your specific situation I would say

'You don't know WHAT I want. And the same way that you say you think Indian women are the most beautiful, my Black princes are the most handsome'

In some cases depending on how much I like their ignorant asses (or not like them I could get equally ignorant on them.


About my self-hate vs self-love comment, i'll have to get back to you, when I collect my thoughts and opinions.

Thnx

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Ok, I hope I type this so that it doesn't offend anyone or cause people to want to stone me. I've mentioned several times of how some issues about hair have been weighing on my mind but I've been too scared. I feared how people would react and if I would articulate my feelings as clear as I should.

ANYWAY, the thread about our hair being difficult has motivated me to ask this question and I would love for your ladies on this board to help me figure this out:

Do I really love my hair??? *This question is about me personally and I am in no way trying to reflect it onto others*

I'm sorry to bring it up again, but it's about the whole natural vs. relaxed thing. After being here for some time, I felt like I learned to love my hair better and gain a new love and appreciation for natural hair. I ADMIRE natural hair (esp. 4a/4b) and those who wear it natural. I even speak about natural hair and the beauty of it with my best friend all the time (who is not black with type1-2 hair). I try to educate her to love it also. I also speak about it with my other friend (black) who has midback length hair (3c-relaxed). Both of my friends are not as fond of 'natural' hair as I am and don't share my appreciation. Whenever I say "wow look, her hair (@ a natural 4a/4b) is so beautiful," I usually get silence and a blank stare.

Moreover, I often find myself telling people, "I love my black hair and I don't want any other type of hair & don't wish to be mixed, white, or have indian in my family. I'm proud of who I am and how my hair was made. My hair is beautiful." etc. But a lot of times I ask myself, "So why do I relax it? If I'm telling these people how beautiful it is and how proud I am, why do I relax it?"

The biggest slap in the face came when I was among a group of Indian people (friends I guess). We were all joking and laughing. Then the topic about race came up. The Indian guys said how women of their race are the most beautiful. I responded saying, that it's okay if you guys don't want black women, I prefer black men myself. (We were supposed to be joking here) But then he said, "No you don't. You want to marry us so your kids can have straight hair. You know you do." My face went

I was shocked and speechless and wanted to go off on a "I love my hair!" rant but I didn't know how to with me looking at him with hair on my head that has been chemically forced to be straight. Plus, I have NO DESIRE whatsoever to go natural at this point. I even have stopped stretching recently and will never texlax again. So...

DO I REALLY LOVE MY HAIR?

I do find {MY experience, repeat MY experience some women seek out light skinned or Indian men to impregnate them even though his values, attitude, aspirations are questionable. I also see the continued adoration of co-workers of newborn, light skinned, light eyed offsping. I am disgusted when the comments are "Oh how cute, she has 'good' hair, "look at those eyes" when the darker sibling is ignored, "Come here 'whiteboy' as they cuddle the newborn infant. I make a point of saying, "He/She is not just white, that's a black child". People claim they would never date white {while putting down those who choose to} but still seek and drool over those they consider 'better haired' or lighter in color. The Indian guys were probably speaking from experience.

 

[alibi]

I don't know why ppl always overlook the fact that maybe folks that relax think their hair LOOKS better relaxed! Forget all the texture/manageability/self love/hate issues. Most ppl want to LOOK their best when they step out the house, point blank. I know for me, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my natural hair. I love it's texture, my coils, its "bigness" . BUT, every single day for the past few months, I've been struggling with whether or not to relax my hair again. Why? Quite simple" I think I look better with straight hair. I think I'm prettier. I feel sexier. I just like it better. And in Miami, the humidity does not allow me to wear my hair straight as often as I like. I have to literally stalk the weather channel, and make sure the forecast is under 75 with light humidity in order to wear my hair straight down here.

Now I love my curls, but if you told me we were going out and the man of my dreams would be there, and to put my absolute BEST foot forward, I would throw on my skinny Joe's jeans that fit just so, this black scoop necked ribbed sweater that I adore, my favorite black stiletto boots, and my hair would be singin' and swingin' in the wind. Why? Cuz I like it better like that, and it's my hair, so I can!!!

@ OP, don't allow anybody to cause you to question your reasons for doing what you do to what's growing outta YOUR scalp. If you're happy with the way you look relaxing your hair, relax on lady! And as for your indian friend, I would have asked him if he's selling out his roots everytime he goes to McDonald's, or if he just prefers a burger and fries over curry meat and basmati rice sometimes.

 

[dynamic1]

I have a love/hate relationship with my hair. I hate to do anything to it that requires a lot of effort. Some days I love it, because it's new to me. I never had to style my hair as a child when it was natural. I can remember hiding in the closet when it was time to get my hair re-done. When I got a relaxer at age 12, I wanted short hair and eventually by age fourteen by stylist complied after parent authorization.

Other days I hate that it is so fragile in certain sections. Straight styles don't stay straight for long. I do think I look better with straight hair because of my features. I dislike the natural color of my hair because it has the tendency to look dry (childhood teasing about the color didnt help either). However, with a rinse it is dark and shiny. I let my dark rinse go, but it was more difficult then giving up the relaxer.

For me, long relaxed hair was easier to maintain than long kinky hair. But I love the range I have with kinky hair. I also enjoyed going to the salon more when relaxed. Now, I don't enjoy it at all, no matter how gentle they treat it! I guess I am still hiding in the closet in order to avoid getting it done.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

eta: Jcoily, I am humbled and honored that YOU'D quote me. I mean that sis...

You dropped truth so strong it made my head hurt. That quote is bigger than the thread it was in and needed to be seen by as many folk as possible.

You are due props. Sit back and take 'em.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

! !!
Thanks Jcoily for your response I was actually thinking of you when I was writing this thread. I *almost* titled it "JCoily! I'm Finally Bout To Take Some of that Fukitol After All!" *almost*

Sometimes all you can do is have a coke and a smile and enjoy the soothing effects of fukitol!

I been on both sides of the permed/natural situation and despite folks trying to tell me otherwise I know good and hell well that there was more to perming for me than trying to look like "Miss Ann' and 'nem. I never bought a box of perm with a white woman on the cover. I wanted to have hair like the black chick on the box or the 'never have a hair out of place' chicks at my high school.

 

[Radianthealth]

I don't know why ppl always overlook the fact that maybe folks that relax think their hair LOOKS better relaxed! Forget all the texture/manageability/self love/hate issues. Most ppl want to LOOK their best when they step out the house, point blank. I know for me, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my natural hair. I love it's texture, my coils, its "bigness" . BUT, every single day for the past few months, I've been struggling with whether or not to relax my hair again. Why? Quite simple" I think I look better with straight hair. I think I'm prettier. I feel sexier. I just like it better. And in Miami, the humidity does not allow me to wear my hair straight as often as I like. I have to literally stalk the weather channel, and make sure the forecast is under 75 with light humidity in order to wear my hair straight down here.

Now I love my curls, but if you told me we were going out and the man of my dreams would be there, and to put my absolute BEST foot forward, I would throw on my skinny Joe's jeans that fit just so, this black scoop necked ribbed sweater that I adore, my favorite black stiletto boots, and my hair would be singin' and swingin' in the wind. Why? Cuz I like it better like that, and it's my hair, so I can!!!

@ OP, don't allow anybody to cause you to question your reasons for doing what you do to what's growing outta YOUR scalp. If you're happy with the way you look relaxing your hair, relax on lady! And as for your indian friend, I would have asked him if he's selling out his roots everytime he goes to McDonald's, or if he just prefers a burger and fries over curry meat and basmati rice sometimes.

I agree, loving the texture of your natural hair and then relaxing doesn't seem contradictory for me. I like my texture but I like the versatility of texlaxed hair. I can do more with it than relaxed or natural hair. To each her own and no one knows my intentions so who are they to judge.

 

[Aubergold]

You dropped truth so strong it made my head hurt. That quote is bigger than the thread it was in and needed to be seen by as many folk as possible.

You are due props. Sit back and take 'em.


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