(Spinoff) Current and former naturals: who was more negative, men or women?

Lady S

Lady S

Well-Known Member
I was watching the YT video of the white guy talking about his black wife's hair. I replied that I thought it paralleled by own experience where white people weren't clutching their pearls over my 4b hair.

But then I thought about it and wondered how much does gender play a role? I know generation plays a BIG part, but was it just the women appalled or were the men folk freaking out too? Did young black men shake their head in disgust or too busy looking at your booty?

It's not so much wondering how about desire or even attractiveness, but more about negative reactions. I may not think someone is attractive, but not think they were horrific either.

I never had a man tell me my hair looked untidy or suggest I dunk my hair in a big ol' tub of Dark & Lovely. No suggestion of weaves or anything. I did have a couple of female family members suggest that my hair looked uncombed and unkept.
 
Women. By a landslide. Sad to say it but almost all of it is from black women.

The majority of compliments I get are from non-black men, particularly white or Indian (south Asian).
 
Last edited:
the female dogs are the worst.
:rolleyes:

the only thing guys have complained about is the length of my hair because they "want somethin to pull on"
 
I pretty much never get negativity.....I'm really struggling to think of something non-encouraging I've gotten.

*comes up blank*

Women give me compliments weather my hair is in a huge fro or straightened swinging down my back. Even the older generations have come around and now absolutely worship natural hair now that I can show them the multitude of styling options available to them and it was more my mom that de-programmed them so throughout my life I got nothing but encouragement.

Men....well I think they're more fixated on my looks other then my hair, I get comments more about my body, my booty and my face then anything else...if its straightened alot of men use it as an identifier to try to get my attention from farther distances:rolleyes: I'm sure men love my hair and it does help but thats usually not their focus when they're with me....which I actually like.

White people in my region absolutely worship natural hair in my experience....I think that has to do with the fact that our hair is so different from theirs that its fascinating to them. White men really find it sexy.

I get alot of love from black men no matter what state my hair is in, I love that it attracts the conscious type of brotha.

Being natural is huge here in New York....people love it, I love it, its a great time:grin:
 
Fortunately, I can't recall any negative comments, although the compliments have come mostly from women. IDK, I really don't think men in general are that concerned with our hair, too preoccupied with T&A. :ohwell:
 
All I get is Why you cut your hair so short, other than that I don't get none, Like someone else said I see it on the internet only. I am sure some people might say something, but not to my face 99.9 percent of people Love it, Black, White,Woman or Man. But if they don't like it, thats there Problem not mine, I don't sit around and worry about what folks think about my hair.
 
Women... and it really gets annoying when even those with HORRIBLE chewed up hair / receding hairline look down on you because you're not relaxed. Apparently straight hair beats healthy hair in their mind :perplexed


Newsports, your siggy is :look: :lachen::blush:
 
Cisselette said:
Women... and it really gets annoying when even those with HORRIBLE chewed up hair / receding hairline look down on you because you're not relaxed. Apparently straight hair beats healthy hair in their mind :perplexed


Newsports, your siggy is :look: :lachen::blush:
Click to expand...

Not to mention those same women have probably worn braid and twist extensions. Remember when cornrow extensions were really big?

Sometimes I think women are more strict about the whole traditional beauty standard thing.
 
I really haven't gotten any negativity about being natural. Maybe I'm just lucky in that regard.
I did have a woman who didn't know I was natural (my hair was maxiglided at the time) make a negative comment about natural hair to me regarding another girl....
but that's as close as it has gotten I think.
 
I haven't gotten any negative comments except from women in my family. A few older women in the church, "Why you gone cut all ya hair off girl". Other than that nope!
 
Negativity:
Black women.
Black men.
The women are more blatant about it while the men are usually more passive.

From white males I only get positivity (they LOVE it...but I think part of that comes from them exoticizing it to some extent).

From white females, aside from family, generally no comments whatsoever. But when I do get comments they're backhanded compliments like "You're so lucky you don't have to straighten your hair everyday, I have to do so much work for my hair to look this great". I have had in depth conversations about this with white women and it's been said that black women with natural hair aren't a "threat" to them so we're not on their radar so to speak.
 
Definitely women, especially older women. They seem to think your hair in its natural state isn't presentable. But my confidence carries and I just laugh them off. It’s on my head not theirs.
 
maysay said:
Negativity:
Black women.
Black men.
The women are more blatant about it while the men are usually more passive.

From white males I only get positivity (they LOVE it...but I think part of that comes from them exoticizing it to some extent).

From white females, aside from family, generally no comments whatsoever. But when I do get comments they're backhanded compliments like "You're so lucky you don't have to straighten your hair everyday, I have to do so much work for my hair to look this great". I have had in depth conversations about this with white women and it's been said that black women with natural hair aren't a "threat" to them so we're not on their radar so to speak.
Click to expand...

Interesting. . . .
 
I get comments from men and women, but the negative comments almost always come from women. Only one male ever had anything negative to say about my natural hair and that was my ex.
 
I haven't really received any negative comments. I receive most compliments from other women and I get more of a "Why don't you wear your hair straight more often? It shows how long your hair is..." from men.
 
i havent really had any negative comments from any race or either sex....most of the comments i get were

" why did you have all of that hair under that weave.. i think you should keep it like free and big"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

mahogany_horizons
NEGATIVE HAIR MESSAGES you have recieved
2 3
Replies
79
Views
15K
julzinha
julzinha
Lilmama1011
Is natural hair helping or hurting black women?
2
Replies
34
Views
8K
SEMO
SEMO
N
Use Pink Lotion and Lots of It LOL
Replies
24
Views
9K
Keshieshimmer
Keshieshimmer
jamaicalovely
Spinoff: Why Women Enjoy Sex with Married Men
Replies
7
Views
287
Ramya
Ramya
Layluh
The Good Wife: Meet The Women Who Married Gay Men
Replies
29
Views
927
blue_flower
blue_flower
Back
Top