Spinoff:Cardinal Rules of relationships

Cinda2503

Cinda2503

New Member
OMG...I woke up this morning with this on my mind:lachen:....there's a thread in the OTF about breaking the cardinal rule of not devulging too much about your past sex life with your current partner -- this got me thinking about other cardinal rules of dating....so let's share some.....

I'll do the one from the other thread....

Cardinal Rule #1 - Never divulge information about your past sex life with your current SO
 
I think this will be interesting. I have a few Cardinal Rules ("CR") of my own that I follow: Here goes...

CR 1) I do not discuss sex period. If the convo is going that way, I change it. :ohwell:

CR 2) I'm not coming over to your house on a first date or second date so you can "Cook me dinner and watch a movie." Cheap bastid...

CR 3) Please do not discuss your Ex or Baby Momma with me. Definite turn off. He probably won't hear from me anymore.:nono:

CR 4) I hate when they say "man, I'm broke...I had to pay this, that, etc.) I usually stop taking calls from the "broke" one.

CR 5) I never save a cell phone number of his unless we have established some type of repoire(?). I have numbers now, and I go throw my list and think...who is that? Oh well, I just delete it!:ohwell:

CR 6) I never discuss my career in terms of what I do and of course, I never discuss my salary, job location, etc.

CR 7) Please don't put your kids on the phone to say "hi"...not interested.

CR 9) If I don't hear from you for a extended period of time, it's a wrap. I know it's harsh, but I just had this happen.

CR 10) And when you do decide to call, see CR 9.

CR 11) He text me, I can't respond right away. Later, I call in response to his text, but he doesn't answer. Instead he text me back. WTF:wallbash:

I could go on, but this will probably explain why I'm single ! :lachen:
 
CR 12) No one should EVER say the words "*insert ex's name* used to...". Neither of you is dating your ex anymore so what he/she did is irrelevant.

CR 13) Neither of you should ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Many people have gone down this road looking for reassurance or an ego boost only to get their feelings hurt.

CR 14) Don't answer questions described in CR 13.

CR 15) Don't make a habit out of asking other people for advice or giving them info about your relationship. No one wants people in their business, but a lot of people inadvertantly invite them in.
 
Dang! Yall are on point. The problem is that the guy will notice you "holding back" and then call you out.

My ex did that. Thought i was holding back and wouldnt divulge too much info. I know that game. No ring on my finger so why should i?
 
Do NOT tell a guy

-How many miscarriages you had
-How many abortions you had
-If you've been molested or raped


Anything life altering, i wouldnt tell a person unless. People have the gall to throw that stuff back in your face.
 
MizzBrown said:
Do NOT tell a guy

-How many miscarriages you had
-How many abortions you had
-If you've been molested or raped


Anything life altering, i wouldnt tell a person unless. People have the gall to throw that stuff back in your face.
Click to expand...

You are so correct about the rape/molestation issue. I told my ex-husband and he threw it in my face every chance he got :nono:
 
nikki1971 said:
You are so correct about the rape/molestation issue. I told my ex-husband and he threw it in my face every chance he got :nono:
Click to expand...

Oh my gosh! SMDH That's effed up. As if you weren't hurt already, why do people do that?

Don't give them that much power.
 
MizzBrown said:
Do NOT tell a guy

-How many miscarriages you had
-How many abortions you had
-If you've been molested or raped


Anything life altering, i wouldnt tell a person unless. People have the gall to throw that stuff back in your face.
Click to expand...


Yes, Yes, Yes, so true my ex did this too me!:wallbash:
 
MizzBrown said:
Oh my gosh! SMDH That's effed up. As if you weren't hurt already, why do people do that?

Don't give them that much power.
Click to expand...

Exactly! I learned my lesson young don't tell men nothing about your past :nono: especially sensitive information. The information comes back to haunt you when you least expect it to, I learned this the hard way. The fact that a person knows they have information that will hurt you gives them power.
 
MizzBrown said:
Do NOT tell a guy

-How many miscarriages you had
-How many abortions you had
-If you've been molested or raped

Anything life altering, i wouldnt tell a person unless. People have the gall to throw that stuff back in your face.
Click to expand...

nikki1971 said:
You are so correct about the rape/molestation issue. I told my ex-husband and he threw it in my face every chance he got :nono:
Click to expand...

Someone would have to be straight up EVIL to throw someone's being raped or molested back in their face! :mad: What in the HECK is wrong with some people??? :nono:
 
CR 16) Don’t ask me for any money cuz I ain’t got none!! “Can I borrow a few dollars ..... til I get paid this Friday”

CR 17) If you live in ur momma’s basement but you have your own “private” entrance, please know that this does not qualify as you having your own place. You get 2 strikes and no call back. EVER.

CR 18) If you tell me, “yeah, I got my moms living with me…trying to help her out,” the same rules apply. See CR 17.

CR 19) If you have chirren (when you have more than one, they become “chirren”), please do not bring them to my house on your visitation weekend so that “WE” can spend quality time together. Not interested in seeing them!

CR 20) If he has a very nice expensive ride, but lives in a studio apartment, you know the.....one with the mini-kitchen/closet/bathing area all in one…his priorities are not in line. He q gets disqualified. Especially if his rims are bigger than his bed….

CR 21) No, you can not borrow my car to pick up your kids, take momma to the hospital… none of that. He gets terminated!

CR 23) If you have been locked up for more than 2 weeks, less than 20 years, I can’t mess witcha! It’s a wrap.

CR 24) If you do get locked up, no I ain’t bailing you’re a$$ out. See CR 16.

CR 25) When we go out to dinner, and we have ordered our food, and our food is delivered by our waiter, please do not take your fork, and reach on to my plate asking at the same time…”lemme try summa dat….dat look good” You will be embarrassed in public.
 
CR 26) If a man wants to work and provide for his family - LET THE MAN WORK. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever tell him "Well we have my paycheck, things will work out." Let a man be a man.

CR 27) If a man has an entrepreneurial personality - let him work for himself and BE SUPPORTIVE (have your own stuff together) and if he succeeds ride to the top with him and if he fails, help him with his resume. But let him be a man

CR 28) Keep your MOUTH SHUT! Women talk too much, if you need someone to listen and understand you on your cycle go talk to anothe woman but SHUT UP, because you know you talk too much! (me included)Shoot that's what LHCF is for, we can talk and people can change posts if they're tired of us, but your MAN has to put up with that mouth!

CR 29) Keep yourself up in superstar style, keep your house clean, your body, mind and spirit should always be evolving and when the right man comes along let him see your world and make sure he knows he's invited in but you expect to upgrade NOT downgrade.

CR 30) Stop being so controlling! Women are often control freaks, just sit on your hands, chew some gum, do something so that you are not the cause of arguments and always Ms. Know it all! Once again - shut up - you'll be married in six months and to the RIGHT man.

CR 31) You can be a witch if you want to, but don't bring that mess home, make your home a safe haven, with hot food on the stove and clean floors and a warm bed for um, exercising. :grin:

These are things I've learned over the last few years and I'm now a newlywed. Still got kinks to work out - but I'm a fast learner.
 
CR 32) Leave the man ALONE sometimes if you're in a committed relationship. Don't be clingy even if you want to be, go get a puppy, a stuffed animal, shoot go get some chocolate, but let the man be alone sometimes so he can remember how much he misses you!

CR 33) NEVER EVER EVER EVER do anything in the relationship at the beginning that you are not going to continue to do for the duration of your time together (especially if you're married) don't just TRY IT ONCE! Whatever IT is.
 
Cinda2503 said:
I'll do the one from the other thread....

Cardinal Rule #1 - Never divulge information about your past sex life with your current SO
Click to expand...


Co-signing I was the OP of that thread....even if he begs, forms a truce, triple, double dare you, inform you of all of his past/skeletons whatever... do not give in (they'll convince you it's ok, the way my SO did)....I'm paying for it as we speak...:cry:
 
lana said:
CR 32) Leave the man ALONE sometimes if you're in a committed relationship. Don't be clingy even if you want to be, go get a puppy, a stuffed animal, shoot go get some chocolate, but let the man be alone sometimes so he can remember how much he misses you!

CR 33) NEVER EVER EVER EVER do anything in the relationship at the beginning that you are not going to continue to do for the duration of your time together (especially if you're married) don't just TRY IT ONCE! Whatever IT is.
Click to expand...

I've heard women who've been married for YEARS say the VERY same thing. :yep: The things that are cute/tolerable in year 1 are rarely so in years 5, 10, 15 and beyond. To go along with what CR 33 (this one is courteousy of my grandmother who's been married for over 50 years):

CR 34) Being a "good wife" is one thing, but encouraging bad behavior/bad habits is another. The sooner a woman learns the difference, the better off she'll be.
 
some of these are good!!! real good

and some of them are so extreeeeeeeeeeeme

i would be single forever if i followed every rule submitted :ohwell:
 
lana said:
CR 26) If a man wants to work and provide for his family - LET THE MAN WORK. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever tell him "Well we have my paycheck, things will work out." Let a man be a man.

CR 27) If a man has an entrepreneurial personality - let him work for himself and BE SUPPORTIVE (have your own stuff together) and if he succeeds ride to the top with him and if he fails, help him with his resume. But let him be a man

CR 28) Keep your MOUTH SHUT! Women talk too much, if you need someone to listen and understand you on your cycle go talk to anothe woman but SHUT UP, because you know you talk too much! (me included)Shoot that's what LHCF is for, we can talk and people can change posts if they're tired of us, but your MAN has to put up with that mouth!

CR 29) Keep yourself up in superstar style, keep your house clean, your body, mind and spirit should always be evolving and when the right man comes along let him see your world and make sure he knows he's invited in but you expect to upgrade NOT downgrade.

CR 30) Stop being so controlling! Women are often control freaks, just sit on your hands, chew some gum, do something so that you are not the cause of arguments and always Ms. Know it all! Once again - shut up - you'll be married in six months and to the RIGHT man.

CR 31) You can be a witch if you want to, but don't bring that mess home, make your home a safe haven, with hot food on the stove and clean floors and a warm bed for um, exercising. :grin:

These are things I've learned over the last few years and I'm now a newlywed. Still got kinks to work out - but I'm a fast learner.
Click to expand...

i really like these

these are good!!!!!
 
#35 - Dont ring ring ring his phone, if he doesnt answer the first time. If he has two numbers, three + numbers dont ring them all - but you can ring two just incase you hear "i didnt have that phone on me" . Ring either phone ONCE and thats IT - let him call you when hes ready

#36 - Dont holla at him when you know its his lunch break,, tea break, dinner break - Let him learn your schedule


#37 - Get tested for stds before you have sex without protection - this should be at least top 5, it avoids anyone being blamed, can reveal when ones been cheating further on down the line, and is just safe sex! i havent met one woman who does this - oh they talk about it "with the NEXT one" LOL...:yep:


#38 - Make him feel manly, but also make him feel loved - you dont have to whip out the bondage, sex toys and cut out panties every night. Sometimes men just want to hug you round your waist and you stroke their hair, clip their nails....i call it lovey lovey time - theres a time to playfight, to be coy and to be a sex machine


#39 - Be upfront with men, as that is the languuage they understand. Do you want to be taken out more? say to him - "Wanna go out tonight?" or "We haven't been out in ____ (EXACT TIME - MAKE SURE U DONT SAY FOR AGES - HE WILL RECALL WHEN HE LAST TOOK U OUT AND IT WONT SEEM SO LONG LOOL) ...lets do something" or "baby you know how much i rate you, i would rate you more if you took me out more often" (then wink and lick your lips) lol


#40 - Have lots of laughs together - laughter is the language of love and i swear i've connected to men better when we have a laugh, watch funny dvds crack jokes - ask him about good times in his past - bring him out!


dats all i can think for now - not RULES just general things that work
 
Candy_C said:
#35 - Dont ring ring ring his phone, if he doesnt answer the first time. If he has two numbers, three + numbers dont ring them all - but you can ring two just incase you hear "i didnt have that phone on me" . Ring either phone ONCE and thats IT - let him call you when hes ready

#36 - Dont holla at him when you know its his lunch break,, tea break, dinner break - Let him learn your schedule


#37 - Get tested for stds before you have sex without protection - this should be at least top 5, it avoids anyone being blamed, can reveal when ones been cheating further on down the line, and is just safe sex! i havent met one woman who does this - oh they talk about it "with the NEXT one" LOL...:yep:


#38 - Make him feel manly, but also make him feel loved - you dont have to whip out the bondage, sex toys and cut out panties every night. Sometimes men just want to hug you round your waist and you stroke their hair, clip their nails....i call it lovey lovey time - theres a time to playfight, to be coy and to be a sex machine


#39 - Be upfront with men, as that is the languuage they understand. Do you want to be taken out more? say to him - "Wanna go out tonight?" or "We haven't been out in ____ (EXACT TIME - MAKE SURE U DONT SAY FOR AGES - HE WILL RECALL WHEN HE LAST TOOK U OUT AND IT WONT SEEM SO LONG LOOL) ...lets do something" or "baby you know how much i rate you, i would rate you more if you took me out more often" (then wink and lick your lips) lol


#40 - Have lots of laughs together - laughter is the language of love and i swear i've connected to men better when we have a laugh, watch funny dvds crack jokes - ask him about good times in his past - bring him out!


dats all i can think for now - not RULES just general things that work
Click to expand...

Good point with the bolded. :yep: A lot of women keep their feelings to themselves and almost expect their men to be mindreaders. When he doesn't "get it", he gets hit with a whole lot of resentment and passive-aggressive behavior and has no clue as to why. :nono:
 
Candy_C;5014323[B[B said:
]]#35 - Dont ring ring ring his phone, if he doesnt answer the first time. If he has two numbers, three + numbers dont ring them all - but you can ring two just incase you hear "i didnt have that phone on me" . Ring either phone ONCE and thats IT - let him call you when hes ready[/B][/B]
#36 - Dont holla at him when you know its his lunch break,, tea break, dinner break - Let him learn your schedule


#37 - Get tested for stds before you have sex without protection - this should be at least top 5, it avoids anyone being blamed, can reveal when ones been cheating further on down the line, and is just safe sex! i havent met one woman who does this - oh they talk about it "with the NEXT one" LOL...:yep:


#38 - Make him feel manly, but also make him feel loved - you dont have to whip out the bondage, sex toys and cut out panties every night. Sometimes men just want to hug you round your waist and you stroke their hair, clip their nails....i call it lovey lovey time - theres a time to playfight, to be coy and to be a sex machine


#39 - Be upfront with men, as that is the languuage they understand. Do you want to be taken out more? say to him - "Wanna go out tonight?" or "We haven't been out in ____ (EXACT TIME - MAKE SURE U DONT SAY FOR AGES - HE WILL RECALL WHEN HE LAST TOOK U OUT AND IT WONT SEEM SO LONG LOOL) ...lets do something" or "baby you know how much i rate you, i would rate you more if you took me out more often" (then wink and lick your lips) lol


#40 - Have lots of laughs together - laughter is the language of love and i swear i've connected to men better when we have a laugh, watch funny dvds crack jokes - ask him about good times in his past - bring him out!


dats all i can think for now - not RULES just general things that work
Click to expand...

ITA w/ #35.....yep:
 
lana said:
CR 32) Leave the man ALONE sometimes if you're in a committed relationship. Don't be clingy even if you want to be, go get a puppy, a stuffed animal, shoot go get some chocolate, but let the man be alone sometimes so he can remember how much he misses you!

CR 33) NEVER EVER EVER EVER do anything in the relationship at the beginning that you are not going to continue to do for the duration of your time together (especially if you're married) don't just TRY IT ONCE! Whatever IT is.
Click to expand...

I'm on that one right now. 3 weeks AT LEAST. :yep:
 
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