Spinoff: Asking if it's real vs. Assuming that it isn't

[Cherokee-n-Black]

I really find the assumption far more offensive than the asking. I just ran across this anecdote on another site re: Justin Bieber touching Esperanza Spalding's hair, and I could not belieeeve it (I wonder if she's a member here). I think this yoga instructor would have been unable to "find her center" for a very long time after this encounter:

I think it should be noted that if someone ASKS to touch my hair, I feel far more respected than if they just touch it with a sense of entitlement, or as though I don't have a voice to go with my 'fro. So, not to confuse folks, but you can ask. I might say yes, I might say no. I actually might want you to touch it so you know that it is real, live human hair.

I will say this, I was in a dance class once and we had to do a warm up where we doing a "brain massage", rolling our heads on our yoga mats. The instructor said out loud twice, "If you have pieces in your hair, please be careful or refrain". I didn't pay that any attention since it didn't apply to me. She then walks over and whispers, "You can't do this exercise. Please be careful of your pieces." As she is saying this she is literally feeling around in my head!!!!!! I was so shocked that I didn't say anything! And she had the nerve to be shocked that I didn't have pieces in my head!

I wish she had politely asked.

The bolded might have earned her a pimp smack!

 

[danniegirl]

I would rather people just have common freaking sense and assume it's not real don't ask me a near one question and just keep it moving

Right now I'm having a blast with my damn near tail bone yarn braids when the stupid chick asked me how I grew my dreads so long so fast (mind you she saw me last week with my 6in fro) I told her I saved all my dead hair for two years and weaved it in

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

I would rather people just have common freaking sense and assume it's not real don't ask me a near one question and just keep it moving

Right now I'm having a blast with my damn near tail bone yarn braids when the stupid chick asked me how I grew my dreads so long so fast (mind you she saw me last week with my 6in fro) I told her I saved all my dead hair for two years and weaved it in

Well...that's kind of the inverse issue, isn't it? wow, you should have kept up the ruse and told her something off the wall like "I take Miracle Grow supplements, you know, the ones for the plants?"

 

[knt1229]

I really don't care whether people ask or assume because I can straighten them out either way. As long as they don't touch me we're good.

 

[Amoreofcurls]

Honestly...I dont give a fugde what bishes think...I'm not caring/growing my hair for them...

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

Honestly...I dont give a fugde what bishes think...I'm not caring/growing my hair for them...

But of course, I think it's the whole "taking action on that basis" that is baffling to me. Touchin' all up in someone's head for tracks???

 

[SND411]

Honestly...I dont give a fugde what bishes think...I'm not caring/growing my hair for them...

I personally believe 85% of people who say this are lying.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I'm going to start grabbing white girls who have a butt or Asians girls with chests that go above a b cup because that is SOOO not the norm! /sarcasm

It's rude. I don't care how you try to fry it, flip it and serve it up, it is rude. Yes, I know black women blah blah weave industry, blah blah, this site doesn't represent the general population blackity blah.

It's not even the ASSUMPTION...it's how they go about it that gets disgusting. You can stare and say "Oh, that's a weave I bet" all you want in your head but the minute you fix your hands to TOUCH me?! It's not only black women that do the "stick and rake" white women and other races are doing that mess these days!!

That yoga instructor had some GALL. I can understand saying it to the whole class even if she's meaning to pinpoint one person but saying "You can't because you're wearing pieces" without prior notice is so sickening.

 

[Guitarhero]

I really find the assumption far more offensive than the asking. I just ran across this anecdote on another site re: Justin Bieber touching Esperanza Spalding's hair, and I could not belieeeve it (I wonder if she's a member here). I think this yoga instructor would have been unable to "find her center" for a very long time after this encounter:

I think it should be noted that if someone ASKS to touch my hair, I feel far more respected than if they just touch it with a sense of entitlement, or as though I don't have a voice to go with my 'fro. So, not to confuse folks, but you can ask. I might say yes, I might say no. I actually might want you to touch it so you know that it is real, live human hair.

I will say this, I was in a dance class once and we had to do a warm up where we doing a "brain massage", rolling our heads on our yoga mats. The instructor said out loud twice, "If you have pieces in your hair, please be careful or refrain". I didn't pay that any attention since it didn't apply to me. She then walks over and whispers, "You can't do this exercise. Please be careful of your pieces." As she is saying this she is literally feeling around in my head!!!!!! I was so shocked that I didn't say anything! And she had the nerve to be shocked that I didn't have pieces in my head!

I wish she had politely asked.

The bolded might have earned her a pimp smack!

All your posts are interesting...I'm not following you, I swear! But why wouldn't one be able to roll the head with a flat piece in it? What if they were microbraided? The scalp is still going to be massaged and there's the skull protecting the brain itself. I think people make up s*** just because. And I'd had told her about her stupid self right there in front of everybody.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

All your posts are interesting...I'm not following you, I swear! But why wouldn't one be able to roll the head with a flat piece in it? What if they were microbraided? The scalp is still going to be massaged and there's the skull protecting the brain itself. I think people make up s*** just because. And I'd had told her about her stupid self right there in front of everybody.

Guitarhero LOL Thank you! I'm glad someone finds my obsession with hair care and all things related interesting! I probably have a tendency to overthink things...but I like to get people's perspectives, it's often quite informative!

I'm not well versed enough in tracks and pieces to know what a brain massage would do, but I'm well-versed in being track checked and that might as well be a face slap with the glove to challenge me to a duel!

 

[RocStar]

I don't find the assumptions offensive because soooo many people of all races are rocking extensions, weaves, wigs, etc. on a daily basis.

Now, you betta not touch my hair, but ask or assume about it, I don't care.

 

[lilyofthenile]

They shouldn't be touching it - that's it.

And to assume it's fake kind of shows how much they really know about black hair... and also to ask would always be better.

 

[tenderheaded]

I was watching QVC and Chaz Dean began putting product in the host's hair (caucasian),he said oh, you have extensions! He assumed it was all hers! She never said a word!

I prefer you not touch me at all unless invited! Whatever it is it's mine!!!

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

I really find the assumption far more offensive than the asking. I just ran across this anecdote on another site re: Justin Bieber touching Esperanza Spalding's hair, and I could not belieeeve it (I wonder if she's a member here). I think this yoga instructor would have been unable to "find her center" for a very long time after this encounter:

I think it should be noted that if someone ASKS to touch my hair, I feel far more respected than if they just touch it with a sense of entitlement, or as though I don't have a voice to go with my 'fro. So, not to confuse folks, but you can ask. I might say yes, I might say no. I actually might want you to touch it so you know that it is real, live human hair.

I will say this, I was in a dance class once and we had to do a warm up where we doing a "brain massage", rolling our heads on our yoga mats. The instructor said out loud twice, "If you have pieces in your hair, please be careful or refrain". I didn't pay that any attention since it didn't apply to me. She then walks over and whispers, "You can't do this exercise. Please be careful of your pieces." As she is saying this she is literally feeling around in my head!!!!!! I was so shocked that I didn't say anything! And she had the nerve to be shocked that I didn't have pieces in my head!

I wish she had politely asked.

The bolded might have earned her a pimp smack!

my word, I agree. I would've definitely gone all the way in, loud and ignant because that is just offensive. She made the disclaimer....so even if it wasn't yours and you proceeded to do the exercise, its not on her if your supposed pieces fell out, so I really don't see the point at all. I am not ever offended if someone asks if its mine. Its a simple question! It means my hair looks so good they think it may be manufactured! That's like the highest compliment. Plus, I frequently wear fake hair: sew in, ponytail, wigs, braids...so its not weird to me when ppl ask.

Let me just say this....when I reach my weight loss goal, if anybody asks me if I had anything done (boobs, butt, calves, lips, lipo) I will probably kiss them in gratitude!

 

[omegachick31]

Touching without permission = Battery (Crime)

Maybe if people start pressing charges a-holes will learn to keep their dayum hands to their self

 

[Amoreofcurls]

I personally believe 85% of people who say this are lying.

Well your wrong in my case, I dont walk around acknowledging opinions of random people around me...we dont do that where im from, thats weird...

 

[Lucia]

I was watching QVC and Chaz Dean began putting product in the host's hair (caucasian),he said oh, you have extensions! He assumed it was all hers! She never said a word!

I prefer you not touch me at all unless invited! Whatever it is it's mine!!!

Hahaaa I would pay to see that. Is it on YT?

 

[lamorenita02907]

Actually today my boss asked me if my hair was real. Rocked a wash and go (i usually straighten) and I was so happy and proud to say it was mine!

Just proves that we can have beautiful, healthy long and full hair.

she was like "wooow!" lol.... drooling over my curlies

 

[Lucia]

Actually today my boss asked me if my hair was real. Rocked a wash and go (i usually straighten) and I was so happy and proud to say it was mine!

Just proves that we can have beautiful, healthy long and full hair.

she was like "wooow!" lol.... drooling over my curlies

Every so often we need to stun them with our hair progress that way we will stun the ignorance out of them. Even other women of color are all caught up in the it has to be a weave mess.
Once I reach my hair goals I will be stunting on the regular for all to see.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

Well your wrong in my case, I dont walk around acknowledging opinions of random people around me...we dont do that where im from, thats weird...

Hey, she said 85%. Maybe you are in the 15% that are are keepin' it real!

 

[SND411]

I think its worse to assume its fake. At least by asking, us lhcf women can prove them wrong. I think women who have such an issue of people being inquisitive about their hair are often those who feel insecure wearing a weave 24/7

 

[empressri]

And this is why I tell anyone who thinks they can just come up and touch me, hair or anything, without permission, gives me free reign to touch them where I want.

This dude at work saw my hair twisted and went to pull on a twist and I freaking snapped on him. He was like it's not that serious, it's just hair. I told him touch me and his behind is going to end up in the EEOC office. I don't play that shh at all.

 

[JJamiah]

It's always an IT's JUST HAIR COMMENT, IF you touch me uninvited your in my frigging space, OKAY and that bothers me, don't touch my shirt, my earrings, my hair, or anything without being invited. SHyt what is so hard about it!

 

[cocosweet]

I really find the assumption far more offensive than the asking. I just ran across this anecdote on another site re: Justin Bieber touching Esperanza Spalding's hair, and I could not belieeeve it (I wonder if she's a member here). I think this yoga instructor would have been unable to "find her center" for a very long time after this encounter:

I think it should be noted that if someone ASKS to touch my hair, I feel far more respected than if they just touch it with a sense of entitlement, or as though I don't have a voice to go with my 'fro. So, not to confuse folks, but you can ask. I might say yes, I might say no. I actually might want you to touch it so you know that it is real, live human hair.

I will say this, I was in a dance class once and we had to do a warm up where we doing a "brain massage", rolling our heads on our yoga mats. The instructor said out loud twice, "If you have pieces in your hair, please be careful or refrain". I didn't pay that any attention since it didn't apply to me. She then walks over and whispers, "You can't do this exercise. Please be careful of your pieces." As she is saying this she is literally feeling around in my head!!!!!! I was so shocked that I didn't say anything! And she had the nerve to be shocked that I didn't have pieces in my head!

I wish she had politely asked.

The bolded might have earned her a pimp smack!

Like she just knew what was going on with your hair. No touchy! I think class may have been interrupted by us rolling around on the floor in a spontaneous smack down event.

Depending on the tone, an inquiry can be obnoxious, stupid, or innocent. The assumption that it must be fake is always offensive.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I haven't really had people assuming my hair was fake. But I have had people wanting to touch it. I don't mind if people touch my hair honestly as long as they aren't yanking it. I mean it's not like I put it in my mouth. It does kinda feel weird though to be stroked lol.