Spin off: Birth Control and Sex

[motherx2esq]

I guess this is a two fold post. I am a Christian who is currently taking birth control. I first started taking them because I got pregnant (after already having two children) by an ex who didn't want any MORE children (but would not wear a condom, yeah I have learned so much in the years after) and having an abortion. Now I know that there are many who feel that abortion is wrong and you should rot in hell for saying the word. I don't deem to be perfect and I will not judge others of their down falls; I just know that in my walk with Christ I have learned about me and his purpose for me. Notwithstanding, I am now abstaining from sex until my husband is my husband and I actually do not want anymore children. I, however, still get my depo shot every three (3) months! The reason why no is because I have gotten use to not have a monthly cycle.

My question is now do you think, Christian or not, contraceptives (including condoms) "allows" for us to feel that "we" are doing nothing wrong when having sex with "our" boyfriend(s), sex mate, guy friend whatever your name for him is? I personally feel that it is cop out when that is what it is used for but your finger is wagging at the next lady who has had children or an abortion. I get tired of seeing such lines as, "No, I would never have an abortion or child oow because I pop my birth control pill every day." I would feel more comforted if the person was to say that, "The Lord has blessed me with a spirit of obedience." But I know not all women are Christians. Hence, posting this on the Christian portion of the board.

I just wonder does using birth control take the place of making the decision to abstain from sex because it give you the comfort of thinking that you would not get pregnant or catch an STD which non of them are 100%? Thank you for your time and I am not trying to stir up anything. This has just been on my heart and God told me to post this.
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[PaperClip]

Hey, Motherx2esq:

It's not fully clear to me what you're asking.... But firstly, fornication ain't the way, whether birth control is used or not (although I have heard it said that if a person is really having a struggle, at least be sensible and use condoms to reduce the chances of pregnancy and spread of disease).

The other part about (married) Christians using birth control? Here's how it was explained to me: the goal is to make REAL SURE that the sperm and egg don't get acquainted (meet)...period (no pun intended).

There are several ways to make sure this doesn't occur, from condoms, to birth control pills(?), shots, etc. to surgery to get the fallopian tubes cut/burnt (I know a number of Christian women who have done this...after they were done having children).

I get it that pretty much the only way it's revealed that a Christian is fornicating is if she pops up pregnant...or if she decides to abort, then it may not ever be known.... Hmmmm... But think about it: what reason would a single Christian female have to take birth control pills SPECIFICALLY to prevent pregnancy? Why do you need them for THAT purpose?

Personal story: my doctor did put me on birth control pills to bring my cycle back into regulation (it worked). When I was on them, I was also dating this guy. I will never forget it: the devil whispered in my ear and said "Go ahead, you can have sex. You're on birth control. No one would know...you won't get pregnant". I was like what kinda mess is this? The seduction was startling. I knew I didn't want to keep taking those pills and I didn't appreciate the idea being planted in my head. And no, nothing happened with the dude at all. He didn't even know I was taking them. And what business would have been of his to know?

I hope I answered your question....

 

[Bunny77]

Girl, this is a deep question!

I'll give two stories. Yes, I took them in the past for contraceptive purposes and I loved not having much of a monthly cycle and no cramps! It was great!

But I stopped once I decided to abstain -- more for monetary reasons than anything and to give my body a break, so to speak. Sometimes I wish I could go back on them because I. HATE. PERIODS.

If I did though, would it make me slack off on my abstinence commitment? I don't know. That's a good question that I guess I can't answer since I'm not considering trying them again, but I do know of folks who kinda felt like getting on the Pill or some other contraceptive kinda made it easier for them to decide to have sex.


Okay, I have a friend who's 30 and a virgin. She took the Pill years ago because she had painful periods and bad acne. She was never tempted to have sex, but I wonder if that's because she had already made a strong commitment to wait until marriage, and wasn't thinking of sex at all (and didn't have a man) when her doctor suggested BC pills.

She's not on them now and is still a virgin. So maybe it's all about mindset?

 

[DayStar]

this is a very interesting topic....i commend you for being brave and asking it.....u know people will run up in here saying ur starting drama....okay im ranting....i do think people...a lot of people are hypocrites....they say they are this and that and do the contrary. Sex is for your husband only ( i respect others who do not believe in God and have their own philosophy of life) ...but again people will justify it, twist it around...tell you to mind your business....say who are you to judge, to justify getting that ____ (fill in the blank). Yes, i think people take pills, so there is no proof of them doing the do. Sex is not a bad thing im assuming (still waiting to experience it one day) BUT I think it is trifling to jump up and down in your local church every sunday/saturday or what have you, preach the "word", jump down other womens throats because they have had abortions...when you urself are no better or are not trying to change. If you are knowingly having sex, popping pills/ whatever...and refuse to change, then ..well....i guess its ur life.

But i will say, that ultimately, you make ur bed you lay in it. Everyone should make the best decisions for themselves. Because everyone will not walk by the "word"...

thats my two cents...and please no stones...

 

[motherx2esq]

Hey, Motherx2esq:

It's not fully clear to me what you're asking.... But firstly, fornication ain't the way, whether birth control is used or not (although I have heard it said that if a person is really having a struggle, at least be sensible and use condoms to reduce the chances of pregnancy and spread of disease).

The other part about (married) Christians using birth control? Here's how it was explained to me: the goal is to make REAL SURE that the sperm and egg don't get acquainted (meet)...period (no pun intended).

There are several ways to make sure this doesn't occur, from condoms, to birth control pills(?), shots, etc. to surgery to get the fallopian tubes cut/burnt (I know a number of Christian women who have done this...after they were done having children).

I get it that pretty much the only way it's revealed that a Christian is fornicating is if she pops up pregnant...or if she decides to abort, then it may not ever be known.... Hmmmm... But think about it: what reason would a single Christian female have to take birth control pills SPECIFICALLY to prevent pregnancy? Why do you need them for THAT purpose?

Personal story: my doctor did put me on birth control pills to bring my cycle back into regulation (it worked). When I was on them, I was also dating this guy. I will never forget it: the devil whispered in my ear and said "Go ahead, you can have sex. You're on birth control. No one would know...you won't get pregnant". I was like what kinda mess is this? The seduction was startling. I knew I didn't want to keep taking those pills and I didn't appreciate the idea being planted in my head. And no, nothing happened with the dude at all. He didn't even know I was taking them. And what business would have been of his to know?

I hope I answered your question....

Chile no! I know how birth control works and doesn't. I guess simply put for those of "us" (Christian single women) who for whatever engage in premarital sex (or don't) do they feel it is okay to throw stones because they use birth control (still wrong for having sex but are protecting themselves) and/ or do you feel using birth control has become an alternative to abstaining because the risk in lower of having oow children or STDs.

I know that there are several different reasons other than not to get pregnant, ie, endometriosis, not wanting a period and others I cannot recall. Like I said I am currently on the shot and have NO desire to engage in sex again until marriage. Been there done that and don't see the point of revisiting the demons associated with it! But there are a lot of women who will put down the woman who fell short and got pregnant (or aborted) or worse HIV for doing the same thing that they are doing but just they felt they were protecting themselves; in actuality no sin is grater.

 

[motherx2esq]

Girl, this is a deep question!

I'll give two stories. Yes, I took them in the past for contraceptive purposes and I loved not having much of a monthly cycle and no cramps! It was great!

But I stopped once I decided to abstain -- more for monetary reasons than anything and to give my body a break, so to speak. Sometimes I wish I could go back on them because I. HATE. PERIODS.

If I did though, would it make me slack off on my abstinence commitment? I don't know. That's a good question that I guess I can't answer since I'm not considering trying them again, but I do know of folks who kinda felt like getting on the Pill or some other contraceptive kinda made it easier for them to decide to have sex.


Okay, I have a friend who's 30 and a virgin. She took the Pill years ago because she had painful periods and bad acne. She was never tempted to have sex, but I wonder if that's because she had already made a strong commitment to wait until marriage, and wasn't thinking of sex at all (and didn't have a man) when her doctor suggested BC pills.

She's not on them now and is still a virgin. So maybe it's all about mindset?

I know this is a very deep question but it has been on my heart for a long time.

Girl I hate periods too and my GYN told me the other day that I may need to go off my shot because after being on it so long (it's been 4 years for me) and my age (be 30 this year) that my bones could start to weaken. So I either up my calcium intake or go off the shot. I think I need to farm cows!

 

[motherx2esq]

this is a very interesting topic....i commend you for being brave and asking it.....u know people will run up in here saying ur starting drama....okay im ranting....i do think people...a lot of people are hypocrites....they say they are this and that and do the contrary. Sex is for your husband only ( i respect others who do not believe in God and have their own philosophy of life) ...but again people will justify it, twist it around...tell you to mind your business....say who are you to judge, to justify getting that ____ (fill in the blank). Yes, i think people take pills, so there is no proof of them doing the do. Sex is not a bad thing im assuming (still waiting to experience it one day) BUT I think it is trifling to jump up and down in your local church every sunday/saturday or what have you, preach the "word", jump down other womens throats because they have had abortions...when you urself are no better or are not trying to change. If you are knowingly having sex, popping pills/ whatever...and refuse to change, then ..well....i guess its ur life.

But i will say, that ultimately, you make ur bed you lay in it. Everyone should make the best decisions for themselves. Because everyone will not walk by the "word"...

thats my two cents...and please no stones...

Thank you for the two cents!

On the bolded... I'm not going to hold you up. I love my children dearly and God has blessed me to give them a life that they should have but I could have held out on sex until I got married. This is just me being real. For the several minutes of pleasure was it worth all the heart ache that came after from the men, nope. I really commend you on keeping your virginity and staying true to yourself in God's name. That there is a blessing and I pray my that mistakes will teach my children (and other girls and women) but women like you gives mothers like me hope! Thank you!

 

[PaperClip]

Chile no! I know how birth control works and doesn't. I guess simply put for those of "us" (Christian single women) who for whatever engage in premarital sex (or don't) do they feel it is okay to throw stones because they use birth control (still wrong for having sex but are protecting themselves) and/ or do you feel using birth control has become an alternative to abstaining because the risk in lower of having oow children or STDs.

I know that there are several different reasons other than not to get pregnant, ie, endometriosis, not wanting a period and others I cannot recall. Like I said I am currently on the shot and have NO desire to engage in sex again until marriage. Been there done that and don't see the point of revisiting the demons associated with it! But there are a lot of women who will put down the woman who fell short and got pregnant (or aborted) or worse HIV for doing the same thing that they are doing but just they felt they were protecting themselves; in actuality no sin is grater.

I was not trying to insult your intelligence! (Smile!) I guess I'm still figuring out the core of your question.... What I know for sure is that 1) we Christians are not supposed to have sex outside of marriage; and 2) to "throw stones" (as I understand to mean 'condemn'?) another person for using birth control as a means to avoid pregnancy is CRAZY.... We shouldn't throw stones because none of us are perfect....

But like I said upthread, if a person is CHOOSING to engage in sex outside of marriage, I would hope that they are "smart" enough to use protection to reduce (because it doesn't eliminate the possibility of) disease and/or pregnancy. It's been said over and over again that the spiritual and natural consequences are not worth the (few) moments of sexual pleasure....

 

[Ramya]

Wow, I literally just had this conversation with my friend. She is on birth control and having premarital sex. I raised some questions to her about the possibility of being that .1% that gets pregnant while using contreception. She is way too comfortable with the idea that she won't get pregnant and nobody will ever know unless she tells them that she is having sex. She even mentioned that an abortion may be an option as she would just ask for forgiveness afterward .

Birth control may give a sense of security in regards to physical protection, but what about spiritually? That man/woman's spirit is unprotected and open for attack. What about soul ties?

Also, when I made the decision to become celibate, I stopped taking birth control. I felt that it had become too much of a "back up plan and reminded me of exactly what I was trying to protect my spirit from. Once I got it out of my system, the temptation was not as heavy. But that is just my experience with it.

 

[motherx2esq]

Wow, I literally just had this conversation with my friend. She is on birth control and having premarital sex. I raised some questions to her about the possibility of being that .1% that gets pregnant while using contreception. She is way too comfortable with the idea that she won't get pregnant and nobody will ever know unless she tells them that she is having sex. She even mentioned that an abortion may be an option as she would just ask for forgiveness afterward .

Birth control may give a sense of security in regards to physical protection, but what about spiritually? That man/woman's spirit is unprotected and open for attack. What about soul ties?

Also, when I made the decision to become celibate, I stopped taking birth control. I felt that it had become too much of a "back up plan and reminded me of exactly what I was trying to protect my spirit from. Once I got it out of my system, the temptation was not as heavy. But that is just my experience with it.

Amen, amen, amen to the bolded! This has been my question all along. I know my spirit has been attacked when I was sexually active and I did not understand why until I decided to abstain.

 

[envybeauty]

if God wills it, you will get pregnant. Birth control or not. This happens in very few pregnancies IMO but .....

 

[kblc06]

if God wills it, you will get pregnant. Birth control or not. This happens in very few pregnancies IMO but .....

Not to get off subject, but I don't necessarily know about this. Typically when people commit certain actions (whether its fornication, adultery, lying etc ) the subsequent results that follow I don't think are necessarily God's will so much as it is People's will- the fact that certain actions result in certain consequences for reasons that remain within their control

For example:
greed & love of money (indirecty & directly)---> help result in the poverty of 3rd world nations
lust-----> leads to the committing of adultery, or fornication (which NATURALLY leads to pregnancy, that's what God designed it to do)
Intermarriage amongst related people or even procreation w/ someone of your choosing who carries the risk of passing on genetic flaw---> leads to some of the congenital defects and genetic disorders experienced today

Most of these result from people-people interactions. I don't think it was God's intentions that certain people are impoverished, or born with certain congenital defects necessarily, but the interactions of people of the course of human history (intermarriage of close relatives over generations in the far or recent past, globalization & colonization successively) has made it possible for this to occur. God isn't responsible for our mistakes, whether our current position was abetted by the actions of previous generations or not, every human interaction (socially, culturally, & personally) progressively molds each successive generation erplexed Our actions & outlook have the ability to attract positive or negative energies into our lives depending on what we decide to do with our God give free will

Back on topic

 

[envybeauty]

I remain steadfast in my beliefs that if God did not will something, it would not happen no matter how much people want it. There are plenty of people who want to have kids. They try for years by having sex everyday (which as you stated is what God's designed it to do) and nothing happens. They are childless.

Not to get off subject, but I don't necessarily know about this. Typically when people commit certain actions (whether its fornication, adultery, lying etc ) the subsequent results that follow I don't think are necessarily God's will so much as it is People's will- the fact that certain actions result in certain consequences for reasons that remain within their control

For example:
greed & love of money (indirecty & directly)---> help result in the poverty of 3rd world nations
lust-----> leads to the committing of adultery, or fornication (which NATURALLY leads to pregnancy, that's what God designed it to do)
Intermarriage amongst related people or even procreation w/ someone of your choosing who carries the risk of passing on genetic flaw---> leads to some of the congenital defects and genetic disorders experienced today

Most of these result from people-people interactions. I don't think it was God's intentions that certain people are impoverished, or born with certain congenital defects necessarily, but the interactions of people of the course of human history (intermarriage of close relatives over generations in the far or recent past, globalization & colonization successively) has made it possible for this to occur. God isn't responsible for our mistakes, whether our current position was abetted by the actions of previous generations or not, every human interaction (socially, culturally, & personally) progressively molds each successive generation erplexed Our actions & outlook have the ability to attract positive or negative energies into our lives depending on what we decide to do with our God give free will

Back on topic

 

[motherx2esq]

I remain steadfast in my beliefs that if God did not will something, it would not happen no matter how much people want it. There are plenty of people who want to have kids. They try for years by having sex everyday (which as you stated is what God's designed it to do) and nothing happens. They are childless.

This is quite true. I never wanted children and I have two I wouldn't trade for the world.

 

[kblc06]

I remain steadfast in my beliefs that if God did not will something, it would not happen no matter how much people want it. There are plenty of people who want to have kids. They try for years by having sex everyday (which as you stated is what God's designed it to do) and nothing happens. They are childless.

But isn't often true in these cases that one of the partners suffer from some disorder (endometriosis, low sperm count, etc.)? In those specific cases, if either healthy partner were to be supplied with sufficiently healthy sperm or eggs for fertilization, under the right conditions, it typically occurs (i.e. in vitro, surrogate motherhood, etc). I'm not saying that God's will doesn't play a part, but problems more often lie with human deficiencies rather than with God, IMO, but I respect yours just the same

 

[chellero]

But isn't often true in these cases that one of the partners suffer from some disorder (endometriosis, low sperm count, etc.)? In those specific cases, if either healthy partner were to be supplied with sufficiently healthy sperm or eggs for fertilization, under the right conditions, it typically occurs (i.e. in vitro, surrogate motherhood, etc). I'm not saying that God's will doesn't play a part, but problems are more often lie with human deficiencies rather than with God, IMO, but I respect yours just the same

I agree with this.

 

[PaperClip]

But isn't often true in these cases that one of the partners suffer from some disorder (endometriosis, low sperm count, etc.)? In those specific cases, if either healthy partner were to be supplied with sufficiently healthy sperm or eggs for fertilization, under the right conditions, it typically occurs (i.e. in vitro, surrogate motherhood, etc). I'm not saying that God's will doesn't play a part, but problems more often lie with human deficiencies rather than with God, IMO, but I respect yours just the same

Do you all believe in the HEALING POWER OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST?

The Bible talks about Sarah who was past menopause. She had a baby.

Hannah. Hadn't conceived. She KEPT PRAYING. She bore Samuel.

Sometimes the Lord uses such experiences to manifest His glory....

 

[motherx2esq]

Do you all believe in the HEALING POWER OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST?

The Bible talks about Sarah who was past menopause. She had a baby.

Hannah. Hadn't conceived. She KEPT PRAYING. She bore Samuel.

Sometimes the Lord uses such experiences to manifest His glory....

Yes! I have an uncle and aunt who are 16 and 19. I'm 29. My grandfather and his wife had children well after they were both grandparents. As a matter of fact she was older than him! If the Lord sees fit, so shall it be done.

 

[kblc06]

Do you all believe in the HEALING POWER OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST?

The Bible talks about Sarah who was past menopause. She had a baby.

Hannah. Hadn't conceived. She KEPT PRAYING. She bore Samuel.

Sometimes the Lord uses such experiences to manifest His glory....

Yes (My existence is a living testimony to the 1st bolded) and the 2nd bolded portion is very true as well, but I don't think this happens for every last case of infertility. . I was not only talking about instances of infertility, but other circumstances as well like the ones I mentioned above However, I also feel as though God intervenes only in human affairs when sincerely called upon-I don't know, I guess you call it more of a deist approach when it comes to interpreting my spiritual/Christian philosophy which is what I've personally observed in my experience.

OT: The reason I brought this up is because I have an acquaintance who is an atheist and she posed these questions to me & wondered why I believed in God when all of these things occur (especially since I often approach things from a realist perspective). Once I broke down my individual interpretation of God & my philosophy (as it was put upon my spirit to), she was quite speechless (due to her lack of understanding or even attempts to). Our spirituality and religious interpretations are individual and personal truths that have to be acquired as our relationship with God grows and are subject to change as we embrace all aspects of knowledge. Peace & blessings and remember to seek above ALL things an understanding (everything else just falls into place)