Spin-off: Avoiding Disastrous Salon Experiences - Collective Wisdom

[YvetteWithJoy]

Greetings, fam.

Please share your tips, advice, and the like regarding:

1. How to find/identify a good stylist/salon
2. How to find trustworthy/reliable reviews of stylists/salons
3. How to vet stylists/salons
4. Ways to prevent disastrous salon experiences once you are in the chair
5. Your best tips for interacting with folks at the salon during your first visit
6. Steps to take after a problematic salon visit
7. And anything else you can think of that might help.

Blessings!

 

[so1913]

Many stylist are using social media as a platform to display their work and hair care beliefs. If you can't find a personal recommendation, stalk social media using hashtags, google, and peruse youtube videos to seek out potential stylist who may have similar hair handling practices in common, follow them and even reach out with specific questions before deciding on making an appointment with them.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

As of today, I'm at the point now where I have to have watched a stylist do hair and I have to interview the stylist.

I am nonconfrontational, and it is difficult for me to halt a stylist in the midst of service. I will work on that. (I'm now sufficiently inspired, I can tell you that!) One thing that has helped me with this is to do a consultation visit FIRST on a different day than my first service with a stylist. This allows me to talk and watch the stylist respond to what I'm saying.

When I reflect, I realize that the stylists who have damaged my hair or scalp are those who didn't really listen-LISTEN to me. They only listened so they could turn around and tell me what they know and will do and so forth, without interacting with what I myself just told them about my hair.

I'm with my hair every day and no one knows it better, even though I do not have stylist-level skills. So, I still need my concerns CLEARLY incorporated into my hair care because my concerns stem from intimate knowledge of my hair and its properties and behavior.

I have only identified TWO amazing stylists in my entire lifetime. One was word of mouth (from my best friend), and that stylist had my relaxed hair all down my back and gave me the scalp massages of life. I'm talking d-near orgasmic. I think that's how she-he grew out my hair!!! The second was via these steps:

1. Read amazing, very detailed and incredibly numerous reviews on Naturally Curly's salon review pages/site
2. Watched the stylist do hair on YouTube
3. Called and interviewed the stylist . . . stylist knew natural hair and lingo like the back of her hand, knew products I mentioned, incorporated my info to her into her plans for my hair, and gave me a to-do list to consider trying until my salon visit (and the to-do list was on point!). Stylist will let me bring whatever products I want into the salon and will use them if that's what I want.
4. For the first visit, I went in for a simple wash-and-go . . . not a cut or flat iron or anything like that. Wash-and-go was the bomb. I got compliments everywhere I went (could hardly walk down the street or in a store without getting stopped). And she was GENTLE with my strands. Minimal hair loss. Win-win! She goes around the country teaching folks how to do natural hair. I'll visit her as long as I'm able, and I can't care that she's not black. There's too much damage happening in general in salons! I'm relieved to have found her.

 

[yaya24]

4) Ways to prevent disastrous salon experiences once you are in the chair

Always Speak Up

• Until you trust them with your hair, watch them. Even if you have already explained at your consult or the beginning of your appointment what you would like your visit to yield, STILL watch them.
• Don't be afraid to ask for a mirror to SEE what they are doing.
• Tell them to "please stop doing XYZ".. If you know XYZ leads to breaking, matting etc of YOUR hair. Although they are the expert/ professional etc etc in their field, remember you are the CEO HBIC of your own head. SPEAK UP.

 

[NaturalShe94]

I use to have one stylist that that did my hair all the time. I went to her every two months for a wash n set, blow out and trim. My hair grew and was healthy, but I wanted to cut out heat so I haven't been to her in years. Furthermore, she moved and is now a nurse.

I started going to other salons for a wash n set when I wanted them again and I experienced breakage and damaged ends later down the line... I no longer go to stylists anymore, but if I need to for any reason, I now completely detangle my hair before going because they can be VERY heavy handed with the comb (like seriously, I use to want to cry seeing the amount of hair they'd comb out because I know most of it is from breakage) I bring my own heat protecter, and I tell them to be gentle because I am trying to prevent breakage.
Gotta tell them how to handle your hair.
Hope this helps!

 

[so1913]

As of today, I'm at the point now where I have to have watched a stylist do hair and I have to interview the stylist.

I am nonconfrontational, and it is difficult for me to halt a stylist in the midst of service. I will work on that. (I'm now sufficiently inspired, I can tell you that!) One thing that has helped me with this is to do a consultation visit FIRST on a different day than my first service with a stylist. This allows me to talk and watch the stylist respond to what I'm saying.

When I reflect, I realize that the stylists who have damaged my hair or scalp are those who didn't really listen-LISTEN to me. They only listened so they could turn around and tell me what they know and will do and so forth, without interacting with what I myself just told them about my hair.

I'm with my hair every day and no one knows it better, even though I do not have stylist-level skills. So, I still need my concerns CLEARLY incorporated into my hair care because my concerns stem from intimate knowledge of my hair and its properties and behavior.

I have only identified TWO amazing stylists in my entire lifetime. One was word of mouth (from my best friend), and that stylist had my relaxed hair all down my back and gave me the scalp massages of life. I'm talking d-near orgasmic. I think that's how she-he grew out my hair!!! The second was via these steps:

1. Read amazing, very detailed and incredibly numerous reviews on Naturally Curly's salon review pages/site
2. Watched the stylist do hair on YouTube
3. Called and interviewed the stylist . . . stylist knew natural hair and lingo like the back of her hand, knew products I mentioned, incorporated my info to her into her plans for my hair, and gave me a to-do list to consider trying until my salon visit (and the to-do list was on point!). Stylist will let me bring whatever products I want into the salon and will use them if that's what I want.
4. For the first visit, I went in for a simple wash-and-go . . . not a cut or flat iron or anything like that. Wash-and-go was the bomb. I got compliments everywhere I went (could hardly walk down the street or in a store without getting stopped). And she was GENTLE with my strands. Minimal hair loss. Win-win! She goes around the country teaching folks how to do natural hair. I'll visit her as long as I'm able, and I can't care that she's not black. There's too much damage happening in general in salons! I'm relieved to have found her.

Who is this woman? Inquiring minds wanna know

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Who is this woman? Inquiring minds wanna know

Her name is Angela Hicks. She's in Dallas.

I'm trying to find a link to reviews of hers from the Michael Flores salon in Dallas where she did my Deva cut, but I don't see it. I wonder if she's moved!

And I should have said this: Her specialty is cutting and wash-and-go's. I have not had any other service from her, and I know she prefers leaving curly hair in its natural state. If you are looking for a lot of flat ironing and such, I don't think she's your girl.

 

[curlicarib]

Sigh.

I've been on this Board for awhile now and every year we get one of these threads. I am always left confounded, confluffulled, and confused. I read the latest thread on the bad stylist and how much harm was done to the OP's hair. I didn't reply because she was clearly very upset and hurt. But the bottom line is the same for her as it is for the questions in this OP - If you do not like what's going with your hair in the FIRST TWO MINUTES, GET YOUR ASZ UP AND OUT THE CHAIR. Why is this concept so hard to grasp????????? Unless the stylist has you tied down to the chair, any harm done to your hair is your own responsibility. Own it.

There is no need for twenty-eleven threads on this topic. What is needed is a spine and the ability to use it.

OP - I'm not yelling at you, it's just really frustrating to read these repeatedly over the years and still there are sistah's out there getting jacked by these stylists when there is no need for it. NONE.

 

[so1913]

Her name is Angela Hicks. She's in Dallas.

I'm trying to find a link to reviews of hers from the Michael Flores salon in Dallas where she did my Deva cut, but I don't see it. I wonder if she's moved!

And I should have said this: Her specialty is cutting and wash-and-go's. I have not had any other service from her, and I know she prefers leaving curly hair in its natural state. If you are looking for a lot of flat ironing and such, I don't think she's your girl.

I'm all wash n go and still trying to perfect after all these years. Of course she'd be in Dallas *sigh*

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I'm all wash n go and still trying to perfect after all these years. Of course she'd be in Dallas *sigh*

Oh, me, too! Wash and go's were my go-to until I realized I was getting lots of knots and tangles from it.

When Angela did my wng, it didn't even look like my hair. She captured my wet hair look. I was stunned. Every place I went for days, folks asked me about my hair. And I can't do it at home! I tried watching and replicating every little move she made. Went out and used EXACTLY her TWO products (DevaCurl One Condition to DC with a little left in and Uncle Funky's Daughter Curly Magic). No dice.

 

[KinksAndInk]

Sigh.

I've been on this Board for awhile now and every year we get one of these threads. I am always left confounded, confluffulled, and confused. I read the latest post on the bad stylist and how much harm was done to the OP's hair. I didn't reply because she was clearly very upset and hurt. But the bottom line is the same for her as it is for the questions in this OP - If you do not like what's going with your hair in the FIRST TWO MINUTES, GET YOUR ASZ UP AND OUT THE CHAIR. Why is this concept so hard to grasp????????? Unless the stylist has you tied down to the chair, any harm done to your hair is your own responsibility. Own it.

There is no need for twenty-eleven threads on this topic. What is needed is a spine and the ability to use it.

OP - I'm not yelling at you, it's just really frustrating to read these repeatedly over the years and still there are sistah's out there getting jacked by these stylists when there is no need for it. NONE.

All of this. I'm always baffled by these threads. You KNOW you're headed for a major setback yet you still sit there. Someone is hurting you to the point that you're crying and need pain meds. Yet you STILL sit there. You've read 97 million posts on here about the same thing happening...Yet you STILL sit there. Not being a confrontational person has nothing to do with it. That's like saying you let someone beat you up because you don't like to be confrontational. I truly don't get this and I normally don't comment on those threads because well...I have no filter. But you nicely said everything I think when I read these threads.

If someone is hurting you or your hair...GET UP and leave. I don't see what's so hard about that.

 

[Napp]

Well my salon horror experience was actually a present a family friend gave me. Prior to this I was not familiar with salons in general. Since her hair always looked during her transition I figured she could help mine.

I had just reached full bsl with minimal layers and was like 2 months post texlax

The shampoo girl was rough once she stared to see my hair texture pop up. I didn't say much then and gave her and pass since texlaxing was new back then.

I told them before I Sat down that I wanted a rollerset. They said ok. After washing they put this thick grease on my hair and the stylist comments on my ends. I was told she would show how much hair she cut before I said ok. She did a few times and then went Edward scissor hands on me cutting my hair while it was wet.

My beautiful blunt look was gone. I thought at least I have some bomb ass layers to rock. The cut was terrible jagged mess. Then they blow and flat iron my hair because they cannot roll my hair natural. I tell them I have a relaxer. They were like oh really? Well let's finish this today and when you go home you'll love it.

That's when I knew.....

My hair was heavy and gross when it was done. So in order to not let me see the hair when they were done they wrapped my hair up and sent me out on my way.

My hair looked like this when I unwrapped it.

I was so sad because I was quite happy with my relaxed hair at that point. After that experience I am very picky as to who touches my head.

Learn from my mistakes.

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

Well my salon horror experience was actually a present a family friend gave me. Prior to this I was not familiar with salons in general. Since her hair always looked during her transition I figured she could help mine.

I had just reached full bsl with minimal layers and was like 2 months post texlax

The shampoo girl was rough once she stared to see my hair texture pop up. I didn't say much then and gave her and pass since texlaxing was new back then.

I told them before I Sat down that I wanted a rollerset. They said ok. After washing they put this thick grease on my hair and the stylist comments on my ends. I was told she would show how much hair she cut before I said ok. She did a few times and then went Edward scissor hands on me cutting my hair while it was wet.

My beautiful blunt look was gone. I thought at least I have some bomb ass layers to rock. The cut was terrible jagged mess. Then they blow and flat iron my hair because they cannot roll my hair natural. I tell them I have a relaxer. They were like oh really? Well let's finish this today and when you go home you'll love it.

That's when I knew.....

My hair was heavy and gross when it was done. So in order to not let me see the hair when they were done they wrapped my hair up and sent me out on my way.

My hair looked like this when I unwrapped it.

I was so sad because I was quite happy with my relaxed hair at that point. After that experience I am very picky as to who touches my head.

Learn from my mistakes.

omg

 

[ag00]

For relaxed girls, bring your own relaxer! Or ask if they have your preferred brand at the salon. It may look ghetto but you don't want to take any chances of them screwing up your months and years of painstaking growth!

 

[Prettymetty]

I Google the salon and look at pics before I step foot in there. I can tell a lot about a salon by the pics. I usually lean towards high end salons with a diverse staff and quality products.

If I have the time I stop by and observe the salon while chatting it up with the owner or receptionist. At that time I get a feel for the place and at the same time they can see what my hair looks like (in order to provide a price quote).

Once I settle on a salon, I book the appointment. I bring my own products whenever it's permitted. So far I have only had 1 bad experience as an adult. It was a Dominican salon. My usual stylist was out or busy... long story short an inexperienced shampoo girl did my rollerset with a rat tooth comb. She yanked that comb through and took lots of strands out in the process.

The best way to avoid a bad stylist is to learn how to do your own hair. I can cut, color, blow dry, bun, braid and apply my own keratin treatments. I just visit salons now to spoil myself occasionally.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I Google the salon and look at pics before I step foot in there. I can tell a lot about a salon by the pics. I usually lean towards high end salons with a diverse staff and quality products.

If I have the time I stop by and observe the salon while chatting it up with the owner or receptionist. At that time I get a feel for the place and at the same time they can see what my hair looks like (in order to provide a price quote).

Once I settle on a salon, I book the appointment. I bring my own products whenever it's permitted. So far I have only had 1 bad experience as an adult. It was a Dominican salon. My usual stylist was out or busy... long story short an inexperienced shampoo girl did my rollerset with a rat tooth comb. She yanked that comb through and took lots of strands out in the process.

The best way to avoid a bad stylist is to learn how to do your own hair. I can cut, color, blow dry, bun, braid and apply my own keratin treatments. I just visit salons now to spoil myself occasionally.

at the bolded, @Prettymetty. Impressive list of DIY skills!

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

For relaxed girls, bring your own relaxer! Or ask if they have your preferred brand at the salon. It may look ghetto but you don't want to take any chances of them screwing up your months and years of painstaking growth!

Thanks for sharing. I hadn't thought of that for relaxed heads. Makes sense!

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Sigh.

I've been on this Board for awhile now and every year we get one of these threads. I am always left confounded, confluffulled, and confused. I read the latest thread on the bad stylist and how much harm was done to the OP's hair. I didn't reply because she was clearly very upset and hurt. But the bottom line is the same for her as it is for the questions in this OP - If you do not like what's going with your hair in the FIRST TWO MINUTES, GET YOUR ASZ UP AND OUT THE CHAIR. Why is this concept so hard to grasp????????? Unless the stylist has you tied down to the chair, any harm done to your hair is your own responsibility. Own it.

There is no need for twenty-eleven threads on this topic. What is needed is a spine and the ability to use it.

OP - I'm not yelling at you, it's just really frustrating to read these repeatedly over the years and still there are sistah's out there getting jacked by these stylists when there is no need for it. NONE.

All of this. I'm always baffled by these threads. You KNOW you're headed for a major setback yet you still sit there. Someone is hurting you to the point that you're crying and need pain meds. Yet you STILL sit there. You've read 97 million posts on here about the same thing happening...Yet you STILL sit there. Not being a confrontational person has nothing to do with it. That's like saying you let someone beat you up because you don't like to be confrontational. I truly don't get this and I normally don't comment on those threads because well...I have no filter. But you nicely said everything I think when I read these threads.

If someone is hurting you or your hair...GET UP and leave. I don't see what's so hard about that.

Thanks for sharing! I didn't realize these experiences just keep happening all the time and that as a result this thread is repetitive and cannot help much. Gotcha!

You both addressed item 4 below. Any thoughts on the other items? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

1. How to find/identify a good stylist/salon
2. How to find trustworthy/reliable reviews of stylists/salons
3. How to vet stylists/salons
4. Ways to prevent disastrous salon experiences once you are in the chair
5. Your best tips for interacting with folks at the salon during your first visit
6. Steps to take after a problematic salon visit
7. And anything else you can think of that might help.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Well my salon horror experience was actually a present a family friend gave me. Prior to this I was not familiar with salons in general. Since her hair always looked during her transition I figured she could help mine.

I had just reached full bsl with minimal layers and was like 2 months post texlax

The shampoo girl was rough once she stared to see my hair texture pop up. I didn't say much then and gave her and pass since texlaxing was new back then.

I told them before I Sat down that I wanted a rollerset. They said ok. After washing they put this thick grease on my hair and the stylist comments on my ends. I was told she would show how much hair she cut before I said ok. She did a few times and then went Edward scissor hands on me cutting my hair while it was wet.

My beautiful blunt look was gone. I thought at least I have some bomb ass layers to rock. The cut was terrible jagged mess. Then they blow and flat iron my hair because they cannot roll my hair natural. I tell them I have a relaxer. They were like oh really? Well let's finish this today and when you go home you'll love it.

That's when I knew.....

My hair was heavy and gross when it was done. So in order to not let me see the hair when they were done they wrapped my hair up and sent me out on my way.

My hair looked like this when I unwrapped it.

I was so sad because I was quite happy with my relaxed hair at that point. After that experience I am very picky as to who touches my head.

Learn from my mistakes.

Wow, @Napp! So sorry that happened.

You said you're picky now: How have you been able to identify good stylists? TIA.

 

[bubbles12345]

Are there stylists out there that are 4c hair friendly?

I swear all of the natural salons O have been to do the following:

-Wash with hot steaming water not sectioned
-dry hair roughly with a towel
-comb hair starting at roots and not sectioned
-blow dry comb on high without heat protectant
- sit you under thehooded dryer for 30+ min on high
-Use the same products for everyone


I'm surprised I have to tell stylists not to do these things. I swear they're out to destroy our hair sometimes. Smh

Like what are they learning about hair care? These things should be common sense not to do.

Where are the stylists that know how to take care of fine 4c hair?

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I use to have one stylist that that did my hair all the time. I went to her every two months for a wash n set, blow out and trim. My hair grew and was healthy, but I wanted to cut out heat so I haven't been to her in years. Furthermore, she moved and is now a nurse.

I started going to other salons for a wash n set when I wanted them again and I experienced breakage and damaged ends later down the line... I no longer go to stylists anymore, but if I need to for any reason, I now completely detangle my hair before going because they can be VERY heavy handed with the comb (like seriously, I use to want to cry seeing the amount of hair they'd comb out because I know most of it is from breakage) I bring my own heat protecter, and I tell them to be gentle because I am trying to prevent breakage.
Gotta tell them how to handle your hair.
Hope this helps!

Yes to the bolded! I do this as well. When I first started visiting natural hair salons (out of frustration and felt need), I had no idea they many can't handle detangling (at least without damaging and ripping out hair). I have even discovered that some places think it is in poor taste for you to arrive needing detangling. I had no idea!

The poster in the other thread wanted her hair detangled. (I had read other posts she'd shared, and she specifically went in to get assistance in that area.) I once went to a stylist because I was struggling with detangling. I was a natural newbie/novice. So when she started roughly combing my hair, my thought was not, "She's incompetent/wrong," but "Wow, like me, she can't get through my hair easily either! Is my hair really that hard to handle? I guess she's doing the best she can."

I asked her about the hair loss, and she said it was normal. It was an upsetting amount, but at home I was spending HOURS and HOURS and HOURS carefully detangling to minimize hair loss. I have since learned that many salons/stylist just aren't going to take the time to detangle carefully. Perhaps this has always been common knowledge to most folks, but it wasn't for me.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Are there stylists out there that are 4c hair friendly?

I swear all of the natural salons O have been to do the following:

-Wash with hot steaming water not sectioned
-dry hair roughly with a towel
-comb hair starting at roots and not sectioned
-blow dry comb on high without heat protectant
- sit you under thehooded dryer for 30+ min on high
-Use the same products for everyone


I'm surprised I have to tell stylists not to do these things. I swear they're out to destroy our hair sometimes. Smh

Like what are they learning about hair care? These things should be common sense not to do.

Where are the stylists that know how to take care of fine 4c hair?

Your list resonates with me from my experience, sadly.

The last salon visit I had, she had me under the dryer and it was soooooooooooooo hot under there after a few minutes. So I changed the temperature. She was hot when she came to check on me. She asked if another stylist had changed the temperature. I said, "No" and nothing else.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Are there stylists out there that are 4c hair friendly?

I swear all of the natural salons O have been to do the following:

-Wash with hot steaming water not sectioned
-dry hair roughly with a towel
-comb hair starting at roots and not sectioned
-blow dry comb on high without heat protectant
- sit you under thehooded dryer for 30+ min on high
-Use the same products for everyone


I'm surprised I have to tell stylists not to do these things. I swear they're out to destroy our hair sometimes. Smh

Like what are they learning about hair care? These things should be common sense not to do.

Where are the stylists that know how to take care of fine 4c hair?

@bubbles12345, about the bolded, I used to wonder about that, and now I'm convinced that many stylist don't know how to do natural hair (because their own hair isn't natural and/or they haven't had good education and training in it). I'm CONVINCED they are using our visits to PRACTICE. I am CONVINCED that many have to put on as if they are the competent professional with expertise despite their NOT really having a lot of good/healthy/successful experience doing natural hair well. And I'm CONVINCED that this posture is the source of LOTS of problems.

I once had a consultation and did not return for a follow-up. This was at a nationally known salon/brand that was supposedly all about natural hair. She knew so little. Afterwards, during the next few weeks I got all sorts of emails about going ahead and coming in. I never confronted her to tell her that she knew little about products and my hair's challenging behaviors. I'm sure someone with a more confrontational personality would have let her know. I just didn't make an appointment.

 

[NaturalShe94]

Yes to the bolded! I do this as well. When I first started visiting natural hair salons (out of frustration and felt need), I had no idea they many can't handle detangling (at least without damaging and ripping out hair). I have even discovered that some places think it is in poor taste for you to arrive needing detangling. I had no idea!

The poster in the other thread wanted her hair detangled. (I had read other posts she'd shared, and she specifically went in to get assistance in that area.) I once went to a stylist because I was struggling with detangling. I was a natural newbie/novice. So when she started roughly combing my hair, my thought was not, "She's incompetent/wrong," but "Wow, like me, she can't get through my hair easily either! Is my hair really that hard to handle? I guess she's doing the best she can."

I asked her about the hair loss, and she said it was normal. It was an upsetting amount, but at home I was spending HOURS and HOURS and HOURS carefully detangling to minimize hair loss. I have since learned that many salons/stylist just aren't going to take the time to detangle carefully. Perhaps this has always been common knowledge to most folks, but it wasn't for me.

Does it still take you that long to detangle your hair now that you have been natural longer???? It doesn't take me long to detangle my hair, but, I get the feeling that the stylists are just lazy and don't want to do it carefully. It takes them no longer than a min to detangle my hair and thats because once the water starts to run on the hair, it begins to detangle itself, but, the way they do it, within that 1 min, I've lost soo much hair... Why not just spend the extra 5-10 mins and detangle it a bit more careful in sections??? Its bizarre. And if it knots up while youre handling it, why not carefully detangle the little knot ups? Why feel the need to draw the comb through it so rough... Girl I've given up on stylist. I seriously only go for special occasion.

 

[PJaye]

Sigh.

I've been on this Board for awhile now and every year we get one of these threads. I am always left confounded, confluffulled, and confused. I read the latest thread on the bad stylist and how much harm was done to the OP's hair. I didn't reply because she was clearly very upset and hurt. But the bottom line is the same for her as it is for the questions in this OP - If you do not like what's going with your hair in the FIRST TWO MINUTES, GET YOUR ASZ UP AND OUT THE CHAIR. Why is this concept so hard to grasp????????? Unless the stylist has you tied down to the chair, any harm done to your hair is your own responsibility. Own it.

There is no need for twenty-eleven threads on this topic. What is needed is a spine and the ability to use it.

OP - I'm not yelling at you, it's just really frustrating to read these repeatedly over the years and still there are sistah's out there getting jacked by these stylists when there is no need for it. NONE.

All of this. I'm always baffled by these threads. You KNOW you're headed for a major setback yet you still sit there. Someone is hurting you to the point that you're crying and need pain meds. Yet you STILL sit there. You've read 97 million posts on here about the same thing happening...Yet you STILL sit there. Not being a confrontational person has nothing to do with it. That's like saying you let someone beat you up because you don't like to be confrontational. I truly don't get this and I normally don't comment on those threads because well...I have no filter. But you nicely said everything I think when I read these threads.

If someone is hurting you or your hair...GET UP and leave. I don't see what's so hard about that.

I also used to be baffled by the "bad salon stories" until I realized that some people are extremely unconfrontational - the thought of having to engage in a contentious battle of some kind causes anxiety and they avoid them like the plague. Plus, we must not forget that women, especially black women, are socialized from birth to not make a fuss or be a burden, to always be polite, and to put the needs of others before themselves. One must push past years of conformity and learned behavior in order to speak out and stand up for themselves, which can be difficult. I do understand where you both are coming from because I've left plenty of salons with wet hair or half done hair without paying a dime (I also left with half a head full of rollers because the chick was being too rough with my feeble strands). Still, I cut the sistas some slack because I recognize that everyone isn't willing to karate chop a mo in their thoat at the first sign of foolishness.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Does it still take you that long to detangle your hair now that you have been natural longer???? It doesn't take me long to detangle my hair, but, I get the feeling that the stylists are just lazy and don't want to do it carefully. It takes them no longer than a min to detangle my hair and thats because once the water starts to run on the hair, it begins to detangle itself, but, the way they do it, within that 1 min, I've lost soo much hair... Why not just spend the extra 5-10 mins and detangle it a bit more careful in sections??? Its bizarre. And if it knots up while youre handling it, why not carefully detangle the little knot ups? Why feel the need to draw the comb through it so rough... Girl I've given up on stylist. I seriously only go for special occasion.

If I let my hair completely shrink up, then if I divide my hair into 8 sections, it can take me up to 15 minute to detangle each section. That's up to 2 hours altogether.

I've definitely gotten a lot better, but it took me awhile to get better for several reasons: I kept reading stuff at sites like this and watching stuff on YouTube that had me thinking I just needed lots of conditioner and running shower water. That just DOESN'T WORK for me. I have to go section by section, starting at the ends and working my way up. The Funnel Method (which I learned about on YouTube) changed my whole world. FINALLY I could detangle my hair.

By the way, I have NEVER EVER had a salon stylist detangle my hair by sections except for one. This is why I'm convinced that something is really amiss knowledge-wise and skills-wise.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I also used to be baffled by the "bad salon stories" until I realized that some people are extremely unconfrontational - the thought of having to engage in a contentious battle of some kind causes anxiety and they avoid them like the plague. Plus, we must not forget that women, especially black women, are socialized from birth to not make a fuss or be a burden, to always be polite, and to put the needs of others before themselves. One must push past years of conformity and learned behavior in order to speak out and stand up for themselves, which can be difficult. I do understand where you both are coming from because I've left plenty of salons with wet hair or half done hair without paying a dime (I also left with half a head full of rollers because the chick was being too rough with my feeble strands). Still, I cut the sistas some slack because I recognize that everyone isn't willing to karate chop a mo in their thoat at the first sign of foolishness.

Thanks for sharing this, @PJaye.

When you combine extreme ignorance about what should be happening with your hair with socialization to be extremely unconfrontational, I think the COMBO can cause someone to sit, assume trust, not speak, etc. I also think that it is impossible for for most people to imagine this . . . impossible for most people to step out of their own ways of being and imagine being that way. Example: Before I had my job I would think, "Just do the job! What's so hard about it?" Now that I have my job and understand the obstacles, I transfer what I learned about my erroneous assumption-making to other situations, and I try to remind myself, "You aren't that person. You don't have this person's mindset/background/job . . . so cease assumption and judging and try to understand their perspective, gather information, or help." I feel I've been a poor empathizer in the past because I've been too . . . assumptive that I'm in the know. Now I'm trying to gather info and help, and just focus there.

Now that I am less IGNORANT about my hair, its behavior, and its optimal handling, I'm sure I could feel RIGHT to stop a stylist in the middle of a service and leave. But . . . and I'm sure this will sound unbelievable to those who don't struggle with confronting others . . . and it's hard to type this . . . if I felt I had to leave I'm sure I wouldn't be able to use the words that most women here would easily be able to use. I'd probably say something like, "My hair is acting strangely right now. I'm not comfortable having it handled. I'm going to go home and treat it with products that I know from experience work." And while so many of the women here wouldn't pay a dime and would easily make that clear, I'd struggle with that probably and be happy to get away with paying half and escaping with undamaged hair.

I'm sure if I'd been raised differently and seen the opposite, I'd have a MUCH easier time saying, "You aren't handling my hair the way I need it handled. I feel like you're going to damage it. So stop right there. And I'm not paying. Do we need to call the authorities or can I walk up out of here? In fact, I'm walking out. You have my contact info. Call me if we need to speak further. I'm out."

 

[Napp]

Wow, @Napp! So sorry that happened.

You said you're picky now: How have you been able to identify good stylists? TIA.

No. I only trust myself

 

[NaturalShe94]

If I let my hair completely shrink up, then if I divide my hair into 8 sections, it can take me up to 15 minute to detangle each section. That's up to 2 hours altogether.

I've definitely gotten a lot better, but it took me awhile to get better for several reasons: I kept reading stuff at sites like this and watching stuff on YouTube that had me thinking I just needed lots of conditioner and running shower water. That just DOESN'T WORK for me. I have to go section by section, starting at the ends and working my way up. The Funnel Method (which I learned about on YouTube) changed my whole world. FINALLY I could detangle my hair.

By the way, I have NEVER EVER had a salon stylist detangle my hair by sections except for one. This is why I'm convinced that something is really amiss knowledge-wise and skills-wise.

I detangle in sections as well. And with coconut oil in four sections... The last lady I mentioned who moved, she is the ONLY one who detangled my hair in sections and carefully, like I mentioned, when she was caring for my hair, it grew, it was healthy. I still speak to her on a regular and I call her on hair advice sometime. Anywho I do think you're right though, it could be a miss as far as knowledge goes. I've gotta look up the funnel method for detangling though... Coconut Oil and Running water works, but, I'd love to see another way!

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

No. I only trust myself

Well, dadgumit! I need to send my stylist flowers and up my skills ASAP. When the stylists can't find stylists . . .