As I am beginning to renew and rebuild my relationship with God I am also rebuilding my relationship with my family. I especially am trying to rebuild my marriage- with Gods guidance. After listening to the sermon about when bad things happen to good people. I finally realized that for most of our marital relationship I was a sower of discord in our marriage. I know that marriage is 50/50 but I played a major role in how a lot of things did not go right. To pull out all those weeds out of my garden is going to take a lot of time but with Gods help it will be done. However, there is a relationship in my DH life that I believe is sowing further seeds of discord in our marriage and is not conducive to our relationship. This person lives in the building next to ours and this person is 20 yrs younger that my DH so the maturity level is already different and there are other things that God put forth to me about this person that does not lay right with me. I spent time praying to God asking if it is his will this relationship will remain or not. However I know that is not up to me, God may be using this person for a reason in my DH life and it has not been revealed to me yet. Has anyone had this happen to their marriage?
Sowers of Seeds of Marital Discord: Any thoughts
- Thread starter Renaylor
- Start date
"No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."
-Isaiah 54:17
I have not been in your exact situation, but shortly before my husband and I were engaged, after we got engaged and the first few years that he and I were married some of my in-laws tried to cause some problems. They tried to be really smooth with it and even used my stepdaughter to try (notice I said "try") to make things worse. There were times that I would let them get to me. I would end up complaining about the way they would treat me to my husband. In turn he and I would end up arguing, which is what they wanted. My prayer partner and I got to praying and through our prayers and the prayers on my own God showed me that the reason my husband and I were not seeing eye to eye on this matter was because I was looking at the situation in the spirit and he was looking at it through natural eyes. While an outsider would see their snide remarks and blantly rude behavior towards me as them just being rude or not even see it, I could see that they were trying to cause problems. Do you talk to your husband about this person? Do you guys end up arguing over this person and the situation? If so, the devil could be using this person to get to you and you end up arguing with your husband. So, the enemy ends up using the same old trick. Going through you to sew discord in your marriage. In my situation, I stopped complaining to my husband about every snide remark that was made. I stopped telling him about every eye that was rolled at me. Instead I would tell God about it. I continued to be cordial to them. When they came to our home I welcomed them, offered them something to eat or drink and tried to make them feel comfortable. The more confident I became in who I am in Christ and the more confident and secure I became in my marriage. Eventually, the comments stopped bothering me and my husband and I stopped arguing about his family.
-Isaiah 54:17
I have not been in your exact situation, but shortly before my husband and I were engaged, after we got engaged and the first few years that he and I were married some of my in-laws tried to cause some problems. They tried to be really smooth with it and even used my stepdaughter to try (notice I said "try") to make things worse. There were times that I would let them get to me. I would end up complaining about the way they would treat me to my husband. In turn he and I would end up arguing, which is what they wanted. My prayer partner and I got to praying and through our prayers and the prayers on my own God showed me that the reason my husband and I were not seeing eye to eye on this matter was because I was looking at the situation in the spirit and he was looking at it through natural eyes. While an outsider would see their snide remarks and blantly rude behavior towards me as them just being rude or not even see it, I could see that they were trying to cause problems. Do you talk to your husband about this person? Do you guys end up arguing over this person and the situation? If so, the devil could be using this person to get to you and you end up arguing with your husband. So, the enemy ends up using the same old trick. Going through you to sew discord in your marriage. In my situation, I stopped complaining to my husband about every snide remark that was made. I stopped telling him about every eye that was rolled at me. Instead I would tell God about it. I continued to be cordial to them. When they came to our home I welcomed them, offered them something to eat or drink and tried to make them feel comfortable. The more confident I became in who I am in Christ and the more confident and secure I became in my marriage. Eventually, the comments stopped bothering me and my husband and I stopped arguing about his family.
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
@ the bolded...this right here shows the beginning of healing and forgiveness that has started to take place within your life. God is going to do great things with you...just hold on and don't let go until He blesses you.
I'm glad you are able to see where the bad seed is and what you must do is pray against the attack against your marriage and pray that the Lord will open up the eyes of your dh and he will see who this person really is. Pray that either that person will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ or that God will remove that person from where they are. Period.
After you have done all to stand....stand!
Stay your position and do not move out of your place!
I will be praying for you, sis.
I'm glad you are here in CF!
Mrselle:I have not spoken to my husband how I felt about this- I felt it better to leave it alone and let God be the deciding factor of where this relationship should go. When this person comes to our home and when I have been their home(his fiancee had a death in her family) I have always been cordial and nice no matter what went through my mind about their relationship. I know God will make the right decision-He always knows what is best for his children. I have watched this happen before,unfortunately. There was a certain co-worker of my DH that he became friends with when we first got married. Over the 7 yrs of the course of their friendship I watched as the devil used this woman to get to me. She had a low self esteem-as I was told because she was very obese. She would be my DH shopping partner. I never met her, my childrens godfather got to meet her and I never did. Over time I watched and it seemed that whenever he was near her or had talked with her he would start treating me badly.I did not deal with it very well- remember I sowed the seeds as well that led to this problem in the first place. But I was hurt and felt left out/alone. On top of that I was a first time mom, and I was dealing with that. It was at the point he was calling her on his cell phone numerous times a day, even when we went on our 9th anniversary weekend getaway. His co-worker and I unfortunately came to blows over the phone a few years ago and my DH got very mad in defense of her. She told me that she thought that we were "cool" and that if my DH is not treating me the way I should be treated it must be me. I spoke to my mom and others about it and they never thought the relationship was right either. On top of everything else she supposedly was a church goer(I am not sure if she was a Christian, though). Eventually the relationship dissolved. My DH even told me that her own brother told her to back off from the friendship because I was having problems with the relationship so it must not have been right. Right now my DH has a few key friends who we have known who have been respectful and nuturing to our marriage and these are the persons that God has chosen to remain in our lives.
Nice & Wavy: thank you for making me feel so welcome here- I hope as I grow in Gods grace that I can contribute something positive here as you and shimmie have.
Nice & Wavy: thank you for making me feel so welcome here- I hope as I grow in Gods grace that I can contribute something positive here as you and shimmie have.
Nice & Wavy
Well-Known Member
Sis....you are welcome and you already have given a testimony that I know will bless someone on this forum.
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