Pre-marital sex and overcoming your flesh

I

Innocent_Kiss

Well-Known Member
First, let me say how happy I am that I have a community of beautiful women to come to when I have hurdles in my spirit life. I love you all!!! Really! I recently posted about some things I was facing in my life and how I believed God was calling me. I yearn for a personal relationship with God, not a filtered familiarity through my parents. So, in seeking God, I knew one of the things I'd have to stop doing is having pre-marital sex. I've been with my SO for about a year and a half now. We've had sex the entire time. After I told him, he said I was making an excuse to break up with him and trying to play games with him. Huh? He sounds like he's never crossed the threshold of a church before. So, I thought to myself, "I know his grandma will explain to him what I'm saying." So I asked him to have his grandmother call me. I asked her if she believed you should wait until you are married to have sex. **are you ladies sitting down???** SHE SAID NO! Because you might not be compatiable sexually, and you'll be unsatisfied when you're married. What the heezy?!?!?!? I secretly felt some relief because I thought "okay, I can do it! His grandmother said it! She knows what she's talking about!" lol Then God's word came to me and I thought of the seventeen works of the flesh and how he's equipped me with the fruits of the spirit to overcome them. It is SO DIFFICULT to stop having pre-marital sex. Especially when you're in a relationship of some time. But Jesus's cruxificition would be in vain if there was one sin on this earth that God didn't equip me to overcome. I'd be doomed for hell, right? The God I know is a JUST God and gave me the opportunity of everlasting life! I'm not asking for advice, I ALREADY KNOW I'll probably have to walk away from someone that means so much to me. I'm asking for your prayers of strength and serenity as I walk to not satisfy my man, but God. The next time you decide to converse with the father, keep me in your prayers! My name is Ebonie :)
 
Hey Ebonie!

Girl, I feel your pain.:lachen:It is hard, but you definitely can do it. The years I was celibate were some of the best years of my walk. I was never closer and more intimate with God than I was then.:yep:

I will definitely be praying for you.:yep: I can imagine how disappointing it must have been to get that answer from an elder you looked up to. I'm glad you have already accepted that you may have to leave your bf behind to do this. Hopefully it won't come to that, but if it does, know that your sacrifice will not be in vain!

((((hugs)))) You can do this.:yep::yep::yep::yep:
 
Yes, girl you can do it. I mean, seriously the power of God is strong enough to break any strong hold on your life.

I promise you, that if you come to God with a sincere heart and honestly ask him to help you with this problem...he will do it. He has done it for me but I caution...when it seems like your flesh is crucified don't stop reading his Word. When you stop, that is when the devil will try to come up against you even more and make some rules for yourself...like if you know you aren't strong...why sit on the couch and listen to some romantic music with your boyfriend. Or if you do still choose to kiss him...make it a pec or no longer than X number of seconds. Everyone knows their limits and I would advise also to remember Romans 12:1-2. A scripture which God gave me personally through the holy spirit.
 
Ebonie,
I will definately keep you in my prayers.
I love the fact that you show that in your heart you want to do the right thing.
The Bottom line is that the only word that matters is God's. His word says that premarital sex is wrong, so it really doesn't matter what anyone else trys to say, becuase their word is not more important that the Word of God. If you know that being with your SO is going to keep you in sin against God's Word, then the wise thing would be to break things of with him. I know that it is hard (I have be celibate for 2 1/2 years after being "premiscous"), however remember that you are not going to be doing this in your strength, yet through God's strength, which is made perfect in your weakness.
Be blessed and remember that obedience is better than sacrifice and God looks at your obedience when looking at blessing you. And your obedience to Him is more than the sacrifice you are making to give up sex, trust me!
 
Innocent_Kiss said:
First, let me say how happy I am that I have a community of beautiful women to come to when I have hurdles in my spirit life. I love you all!!! Really! I recently posted about some things I was facing in my life and how I believed God was calling me. I yearn for a personal relationship with God, not a filtered familiarity through my parents. So, in seeking God, I knew one of the things I'd have to stop doing is having pre-marital sex. I've been with my SO for about a year and a half now. We've had sex the entire time. After I told him, he said I was making an excuse to break up with him and trying to play games with him. Huh? He sounds like he's never crossed the threshold of a church before. So, I thought to myself, "I know his grandma will explain to him what I'm saying." So I asked him to have his grandmother call me. I asked her if she believed you should wait until you are married to have sex. **are you ladies sitting down???** SHE SAID NO! Because you might not be compatiable sexually, and you'll be unsatisfied when you're married. What the heezy?!?!?!? I secretly felt some relief because I thought "okay, I can do it! His grandmother said it! She knows what she's talking about!" lol Then God's word came to me and I thought of the seventeen works of the flesh and how he's equipped me with the fruits of the spirit to overcome them. It is SO DIFFICULT to stop having pre-marital sex. Especially when you're in a relationship of some time. But Jesus's cruxificition would be in vain if there was one sin on this earth that God didn't equip me to overcome. I'd be doomed for hell, right? The God I know is a JUST God and gave me the opportunity of everlasting life! I'm not asking for advice, I ALREADY KNOW I'll probably have to walk away from someone that means so much to me. I'm asking for your prayers of strength and serenity as I walk to not satisfy my man, but God. The next time you decide to converse with the father, keep me in your prayers! My name is Ebonie :)
Click to expand...

Hi Ebonie, I'm going through a similar situation and I find talking with your SO about how you feel and firmly stating what you want is the best way to approach it. He should understand and either work with you, and seperate if it will cause you to sin (he should care for you that much to do that!) Also, read the bible every day and pray everyday - talk to God like He's your friend and He will send you the answer. My pastor said, we often pray and that's it - but immediately after we pray, we must listen for the answer, just like you're having a normal conversation with another human being. Either you will lead your SO to God by example, or He will find you a more suitable mate. Prayer and Faith helped me find my answer:rolleyes:.

Someone just recommended a book, and my friend also, TY Adams "Single Saved and Having Sex". I read the beginning on Amazon.com and it looks good! Give it a try:yep:
 
Innocent_Kiss said:
First, let me say how happy I am that I have a community of beautiful women to come to when I have hurdles in my spirit life. I love you all!!! Really! I recently posted about some things I was facing in my life and how I believed God was calling me. I yearn for a personal relationship with God, not a filtered familiarity through my parents. So, in seeking God, I knew one of the things I'd have to stop doing is having pre-marital sex. I've been with my SO for about a year and a half now. We've had sex the entire time. After I told him, he said I was making an excuse to break up with him and trying to play games with him. Huh? He sounds like he's never crossed the threshold of a church before. So, I thought to myself, "I know his grandma will explain to him what I'm saying." So I asked him to have his grandmother call me. I asked her if she believed you should wait until you are married to have sex. **are you ladies sitting down???** SHE SAID NO! Because you might not be compatiable sexually, and you'll be unsatisfied when you're married. What the heezy?!?!?!? I secretly felt some relief because I thought "okay, I can do it! His grandmother said it! She knows what she's talking about!" lol Then God's word came to me and I thought of the seventeen works of the flesh and how he's equipped me with the fruits of the spirit to overcome them. It is SO DIFFICULT to stop having pre-marital sex. Especially when you're in a relationship of some time. But Jesus's cruxificition would be in vain if there was one sin on this earth that God didn't equip me to overcome. I'd be doomed for hell, right? The God I know is a JUST God and gave me the opportunity of everlasting life! I'm not asking for advice, I ALREADY KNOW I'll probably have to walk away from someone that means so much to me. I'm asking for your prayers of strength and serenity as I walk to not satisfy my man, but God. The next time you decide to converse with the father, keep me in your prayers! My name is Ebonie :)
Click to expand...


I've been where you are and I am praying for you. For me, it came down to tears and anguish, but so far, God is helping me through it and keeping me pure.

Now, I have a question for you or anyone else who can answer. What are the seventeen works of the flesh? Sounds like an interesting topic for discussion.
 
SuperNova said:
I've been where you are and I am praying for you. For me, it came down to tears and anguish, but so far, God is helping me through it and keeping me pure.

Now, I have a question for you or anyone else who can answer. What are the seventeen works of the flesh? Sounds like an interesting topic for discussion.
Click to expand...

I believe that's what I'm reading about right now!
Galations 5:19-21

Blessings,
dk
 
My thing is "You can't have expectations for something you shouldn't know about."

I believe if you do everything God's way, sexual compatibility will not be an issue.
 
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