Soulmates

[fivefoursweetie]

As Christian woman, what are you thoughts regarding "soulmate" and "the person God has for you". Do you believe there is a difference? What is your definition of a "soulmate"? And one last question...Do you believe that one man (other than God) can be your "everything" (obviously not "everything" in the way that God is to us)?

 

[cutiestyles]

My interpretation of a soul mate is some one that you feel deeply connected to. I think everyone has their own defination or experience of what a soul mate is. To me I think that your soul mate can be the person God has sent for you. And at the same time we may feel like we have a soul mate but then that may not be the person God has instore for us. If you think of it in terms of two seperate words there is the 'soul' which I think relates to spirituality then there is the 'mate' which I believe refers to a partner/other half/match.

 

[shalom]

This is a subject that always confuses me. The bible says when you marry you become one, so I guess this would surfice the soul portion of the duel. I don't know how you end up with the person God has for you because I'm still waiting.

BUMPING.

 

[luv04]

i do....;-)

 

[shalom]

Luv,

How? PM if necessary.

 

[fivefoursweetie]

Thank you for the responses.
I just sometimes hear woman say that they are waiting for that man that will be their "everything" and I just wondered if the longing for that can maybe block the blessing (Man) that God has for us.

 

[shalom]

luvalva, I'm wondering when you first saw your husband it was love at first sight for you, was this upon first seeing him or was this a first date and do you know if he felt the same way too. I guess I'm wondering how the two of you actually connected.

 

[Nita_h]

I voted yes...


It's Much more than just someone u like, or even love. Feelings that go way beyond an emotional attachment. He's the other half of u. U can never describe exactly how u feel about that person. It may be too deep to even comprehend. It's almost like your are sharing one body that contains two souls. It makes silly fights and the biggest arguments seem unimportant.

Even when u begin to believe u are done and when you both “let your mouths get ahead of your hearts” saying things that you both know are unlikely….. In spite of everything, u always come back to what u know is true, and that is….. your love is too important and precious to throw away.

 

[ADB]

I don't know how you end up with the person God has for you because I'm still waiting.

I don't think God will show everyone their soulmate in the same way, but for me this is the way it happened.

In 1996 I had a dream that I was walking in Kings Island amusement park in Ohio and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I had a tall man next to me and we were walking hand in hand. I couldn’t see his face because it was blurry. It felt perfect unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt complete. When I woke I still had that same feeling and I believed God had sent me that dream/vision. So I knew my soulmate was out their waiting for me, and I was going to find him, but little did I know he was not for me to find but, for God to send him to me when I was ready.

On New Years Eve of 1998 I made my New Years resolution to the Lord that I was going to stop trying to find the right man for myself and let him find the right man for me. I told him I didn't know what I wanted and that he was the only one who would know what I really needed and wanted in a man.

2 weeks later I was at work (I use to work in the drive threw at McDonalds) and this guy pulled up. It was strange, it felt like I knew him. We just starred at each other. He was starring at me like I was unreal. Finally I took the money for his order and he asked me how old I was and if he could have my number. I gave him my pager number. The next day I received a page, I never called it back. I received a page from the same number for 5 days straight. I didn't recognize the number, but I knew it was him. The human realistic part of myself would keep thinking it might not be him. You see I use to give out my pager number to guys all the time. It was an easy way to get them to go away without being mean, but when they paged me I would never call them back. I believe the Lord was trying to let me know that it was him and not any of those other guys. I remember sitting up in bed contemplating if I was going to call back the number. At this time it was 6 days ago that he had last paged me, then all of a sudden I got this really powerful feeling that it was in fact him and if I didn't call the number back he was not going to page me anymore. So I went ahead and called and he picked it up on the first ring. He said he knew I had to call back, he knew I felt the same thing he had. we talked for 8 hours straight and had almost everything in common.

He later told me that he was driving to blockbuster and he happened to see me in the McDonalds drive threw window he said I was glowing. He said it was this really bright white light all around me, and I was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He said he then immediately turned up in the McDonalds drive threw, and that's why he was starring at me like that.

In 2000 we got married and guess what...........Our honeymoon was at Kings Island amusement park and I was extremely happy like in the dream I had 4 years ago. I didn't remember the dream until after the honeymoon and that's when I told him about it.

 

[FlowerHair]

That's amazing ADB! I believe in soulmates

 

[pearlygurl]

...I was going to stop trying to find the right man for myself and let him find the right man for me. I told him I didn't know what I wanted and that he was the only one who would know what I really needed and wanted in a man.

That is a beautiful story. That is soooo funny that you say that because just today I told God exactly that. I'm about to turn 22 and I'm tired of always messing up my love life. I finally told God He knows what's best for me in a man and I know that he will send me a man that is more than I could ever dream of. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders...I can't wait to see what God is going to do!!!

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

In 1996 I had a dream that I was walking in Kings Island amusement park in Ohio and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I had a tall man next to me and we were walking hand in hand. I couldn’t see his face because it was blurry. It felt perfect unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt complete. When I woke I still had that same feeling and I believed God had sent me that dream/vision. So I knew my soulmate was out their waiting for me, and I was going to find him, but little did I know he was not for me to find but, for God to send him to me when I was ready.

Your story is amazing! I had a dream/vision {only I was not asleep} in 2002 and I definitely believed God was apart of it. I was on a beach walking hand in hand with my [future] mate/husband and like you I was the happiest ever...the scenes switched and then we were at our home...I could not view this person's face either {but I knew his height, skintone/complexion, etc]...it's kind of hard to explain but now I see I'm not the only one who has experienced this...However, as the years passed I felt discouraged that I would never meet this person...and as of yet I have not {I even told myself if I'm alone FOREVER...I would not have a problem with that-of course that feeling comes and goes and I think about the dream/vision sometimes}. Your story is truly amazing and I am glad I viewed this thread to read it.

 

[ADB]

Your story is amazing! I had a dream/vision {only I was not asleep} in 2002 and I definitely believed God was apart of it. I was on a beach walking hand in hand with my [future] mate/husband and like you I was the happiest ever...the scenes switched and then we were at our home...I could not view this person's face either {but I knew his height, skintone/complexion, etc]...it's kind of hard to explain but now I see I'm not the only one who has experienced this...However, as the years passed I felt discouraged that I would never meet this person...and as of yet I have not {I even told myself if I'm alone FOREVER...I would not have a problem with that-of course that feeling comes and goes and I think about the dream/vision sometimes}. Your story is truly amazing and I am glad I viewed this thread to read it.

Wow, I think it's amazing that you've had an experience quite similar to mine. Don't get discouraged that God has not given you your soul mate yet. Do you think it's possible that God may have already sent your soulmate to you and maybe for some reason you didn't except him? I've always felt in my heart that I could have easily missed my husband/ soulmate if I would have chosen not to page him back. If I did not page him back I would be still today waiting for God to send me the man in that dream.

It's also possible that either you or your soulmate may not be ready for each other yet, maybe God is trying to mold and shape you both so that when you met you can come together and everything will be perfect and beautiful. Stay encouraged. Pray and ask God to continue molding and shaping you so that you can be that virtual woman for your husband, also pray for your future soulmate that God will continue to mold and shape him too. Ask the Lord to send you a sign or a dream so that you know what he wants you to do, if anything. Most importantly don't look for him; you will meet him when you least expect it. You may be surprised your soulmate may look and act different than anyone you ever dated before.

I have learned growing up to always try to stay positive. You have to belive with all your heart that God has somthing or someone for you no matter what. Always speak positive, I notice when I do good things happen.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

Wow, I think it's amazing that you've had an experience quite similar to mine. Don't get discouraged that God has not given you your soul mate yet. Do you think it's possible that God may have already sent your soulmate to you and maybe for some reason you didn't except him? I've always felt in my heart that I could have easily missed my husband/ soulmate if I would have chosen not to page him back. If I did not page him back I would be still today waiting for God to send me the man in that dream.

It's also possible that either you or your soulmate may not be ready for each other yet, maybe God is trying to mold and shape you both so that when you met you can come together and everything will be perfect and beautiful. Stay encouraged. Pray and ask God to continue molding and shaping you so that you can be that virtual woman for your husband, also pray for your future soulmate that God will continue to mold and shape him too. Ask the Lord to send you a sign or a dream so that you know what he wants you to do, if anything. Most importantly don't look for him; you will meet him when you least expect it. You may be surprised your soulmate may look and act different than anyone you ever dated before.

I have learned growing up to always try to stay positive. You have to belive with all your heart that God has somthing or someone for you no matter what. Always speak positive, I notice when I do good things happen.

I agree with that bold part in your statement. I will admit that I am a work in progress and hopefully I will get to the point where I could meet this person. I get discouraged because I see others meeting and being in relationships with others and I'm alone but I think there is a reason why. The dream/vision was so clear and I had to share it with someone else. I told a close acquaintance [a young Christian lady] about it and she agreed...and she also stated that God showed me this vision for a reason--she knew about my relationship woes or lack of relationships I should say--and that I should remain positive and encouraged because someone is out there for me. Needless to say, I have been told that I'm a little negative....once again I will admit that its hard for me to remain positive about things...{school for example}...so yes I do not think I'm ready for this person and that's why I have not met him...the funny thing is reading this thread and your posts made it even clearer to me that I'm not. As far as the other statement you made about possibly meeting this person but not accepting them at the time...I can't really say that has happened though I did meet someone who was amazing..and he told me things about myself that he couldn't have possibly known since we had just "met". Anyway, months passed and I finally got the courage to call him {some of the stuff he said to me frightened/disturbed me at first} but by that time his phone was obviously not in service . Once again, I want to thank you for your posts and your words of encouragement/advice.

 

[cocoberry10]

I don't think God will show everyone their soulmate in the same way, but for me this is the way it happened.

In 1996 I had a dream that I was walking in Kings Island amusement park in Ohio and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I had a tall man next to me and we were walking hand in hand. I couldn’t see his face because it was blurry. It felt perfect unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt complete. When I woke I still had that same feeling and I believed God had sent me that dream/vision. So I knew my soulmate was out their waiting for me, and I was going to find him, but little did I know he was not for me to find but, for God to send him to me when I was ready.

On New Years Eve of 1998 I made my New Years resolution to the Lord that I was going to stop trying to find the right man for myself and let him find the right man for me. I told him I didn't know what I wanted and that he was the only one who would know what I really needed and wanted in a man.

2 weeks later I was at work (I use to work in the drive threw at McDonalds) and this guy pulled up. It was strange, it felt like I knew him. We just starred at each other. He was starring at me like I was unreal. Finally I took the money for his order and he asked me how old I was and if he could have my number. I gave him my pager number. The next day I received a page, I never called it back. I received a page from the same number for 5 days straight. I didn't recognize the number, but I knew it was him. The human realistic part of myself would keep thinking it might not be him. You see I use to give out my pager number to guys all the time. It was an easy way to get them to go away without being mean, but when they paged me I would never call them back. I believe the Lord was trying to let me know that it was him and not any of those other guys. I remember sitting up in bed contemplating if I was going to call back the number. At this time it was 6 days ago that he had last paged me, then all of a sudden I got this really powerful feeling that it was in fact him and if I didn't call the number back he was not going to page me anymore. So I went ahead and called and he picked it up on the first ring. He said he knew I had to call back, he knew I felt the same thing he had. we talked for 8 hours straight and had almost everything in common.

He later told me that he was driving to blockbuster and he happened to see me in the McDonalds drive threw window he said I was glowing. He said it was this really bright white light all around me, and I was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He said he then immediately turned up in the McDonalds drive threw, and that's why he was starring at me like that.

In 2000 we got married and guess what...........Our honeymoon was at Kings Island amusement park and I was extremely happy like in the dream I had 4 years ago. I didn't remember the dream until after the honeymoon and that's when I told him about it.

Your story is amazing ADB! However, I voted no for the soulmates and here is why. I guess I do believe that God has someone special for us (Adam's missing rib was Eve). However, I think people get so caught up in the soulmate thing, that Mr. Good Man comes along and many a women "miss" their blessings, because they are waiting for their "soulmate." I have also watched friends of mine convinced that a certain man is the "One" God has for them, and act a fool trying to win a man over, or passing up opportunities to meet other men all because they want to wait for their soulmate. Then they may find themselves middle-aged and alone, wondering what happened.

Again, I think that God may have a special person out there, but in the end, a successful marriage is built on faith, love, and hard-work. I think some people have divorced because they fell into the soulmate expectation, and when they don't feel that "connection" or that "passion," they think "maybe this isn't my soulmate." I guess at the end of the day, I think love is a feeling, but it's also a choice. We choose to love a husband with his flaws and all, when he leaves the toilet seat up, and when he doesn't put the cap back on the toothpaste, even though we don't love the fact that he does those things. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not married (and never have been), so I'll have to update you if my view changes if and when that day comes.

 

[ADB]

I have also watched friends of mine convinced that a certain man is the "One" God has for them, and act a fool trying to win a man over, or passing up opportunities to meet other men all because they want to wait for their soulmate. Then they may find themselves middle-aged and alone, wondering what happened.

I agree with that statement. Your friends may have in their head certain qualities that their soulmate must have in order for them to except him. I feel that if they can't let go of their expectations than they may never receive the man that God has for them. The man that God has for them may not look or act at all, like what they think they need or want, but when the man is the one that God has chosen for them he will be perfect for them.

My husband was completely different from any man I had ever dated. He looked different and acted different from the men I usually dated. I’m happy I decided to date him because I found out he’s perfect for me in everyway. Theirs no way I would have known if he was the right man for me if the circumstances that happened to bring us together didn't happen. I had a completely different picture in my head of what my soulmate was going to look and act like.

I remember when I was like your friends, and like them I thought I had found my soulmate. I remember trying to make him be that perfect man, but he wasn’t for me and I wasn’t happy. That’s why on New Years Eve of 1998 I prayed and asked the Lord to find my soulmate for me. I knew I didn’t know what I needed because I kept picking all the wrong guys. I finally gave everything to the Lord and I believe he saw in my heart that I was ready to except anything he had to offer. I stopped looking completely and my soulmate found me.

Also even if your friends do receive their soulmate that doesn’t mean they will never have disagreements and some qualities they don't like in him. They will have to remember that he's human and all humans have flaws somewhere. They will have to learn to still love him despite any qualities they don't like and then they can work on trying to change them together, but they must also remember that they might have qualities that he doesn’t like and they must be willing to change them too.

 

[shalom]

ADB and Luvalva30,

Two very beautiful stories, ADB your story has ne sitting here in tears, it is awesome when God is a part of what happens in our life.

For me all I can says is ladies keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. Dating is very complex and confusing for me. I get a lot of guys trying to come on to me and for me this is a problem, how do you choose on first sight? You can't tell what a person's character is like or if you have things in common. I will admit fault to always looking for my type. It's also hard for me to choose because there's so much deception involved in dating today, you got to look out for the playas, DL brothas and then there's the no working perpetrating like he got a job type brotha I'm all confused, God help me. I have this one guy where when I first saw him I thougth he was cute I wasn't necessarily interested in him I spoke to be friendly, but he dissed me big time. I saw him a couple of months later at the gym he was jumping rope me and a couple of other women complimented him on his stamina. After this he started speaking to me I responded, then one day while I was in step class he came in I saw him slightly and as I was making a turn I saw him wave well before he could get his hello out my back was to him, but I tried to speak the next thing I know he's all mad at me and it's been this way for the last 2 yrs., in fact with each year it seems like he hates me more.

ADB and Luvalva - I'm so happy for your joy. I wish you and your husbands the very best. Your stories are inspirational and encouraging. Thank you both for sharing.

ADB - I had a dream I'll PM to tell you about it.

 

[phynestone]

ADB and Luvalva30,

Two very beautiful stories, ADB your story has ne sitting here in tears, it is awesome when God is a part of what happens in our life.

For me all I can says is ladies keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. Dating is very complex and confusing for me. I get a lot of guys trying to come on to me and for me this is a problem, how do you choose on first sight? You can't tell what a person's character is like or if you have things in common. I will admit fault to always looking for my type. It's also hard for me to choose because there's so much deception involved in dating today, you got to look out for the playas, DL brothas and then there's the no working perpetrating like he got a job type brotha I'm all confused, God help me. I have this one guy where when I first saw him I thougth he was cute I wasn't necessarily interested in him I spoke to be friendly, but he dissed me big time. I saw him a couple of months later at the gym he was jumping rope me and a couple of other women complimented him on his stamina. After this he started speaking to me I responded, then one day while I was in step class he came in I saw him slightly and as I was making a turn I saw him wave well before he could get his hello out my back was to him, but I tried to speak the next thing I know he's all mad at me and it's been this way for the last 2 yrs., in fact with each year it seems like he hates me more.

ADB and Luvalva - I'm so happy for your joy. I wish you and your husbands the very best. Your stories are inspirational and encouraging. Thank you both for sharing.

ADB - I had a dream I'll PM to tell you about it.

The last guy you wrote about sounds like a real weirdo. How immature.

These stories are so nice! Sometimes I get down and sad b/c it doesn't seem as if I'll meet the man that's right for me. I think I'm just a little upset b/c I invested so much of myself into my ex and things didn't work out. Like I have no energy or desire to want to meet or even be with someone else. I just don't know if I can love like that ever again.

 

[ekomba]

The last guy you wrote about sounds like a real weirdo. How immature.

These stories are so nice! Sometimes I get down and sad b/c it doesn't seem as if I'll meet the man that's right for me. I think I'm just a little upset b/c I invested so much of myself into my ex and things didn't work out. Like I have no energy or desire to want to meet or even be with someone else. I just don't know if I can love like that ever again.

Dont worry 19sweetie , it will come. i learned a long time ago that love comes when you stop looking. and i was also told that u attract what u are. before i felt i was needy , needy for love for a daddy figure i wanted romance like in them books a knight s in shining armor and i looked in all the wrong places.

I got burned looking only at what would look nice, players with sweet words, popular guys, thugs u name it. my job was to try to fix them, sacrifice my time for them, bend backwards , mold them dress them and try to control everything in the relationship and make plans in advance for our future and everything. i never had a relationship that lasted more than 3 months. all my life so i decided to protect myself because i was always looking for my soulmate

Now i do believe in soulmates and that u can even find love after love when someone dies or leaves you. i believe that when u let go of yourself and just focus on building a nice like for yourself and start loving your life you attract more of what u are in your life. it makes room for something new instead of being needy and desperate and people can read you and u only attract someone who has a need and you both play your roles in a insane dance made of unresolved issues, excess bagages. unless u ready to let it go and the time u ready to do that and say u know what i m okay i know God never make mistakes all these past relationships made me better made me understand more of me i need to be ready for what he has in store for me and when u give up and when you dont think about it anymore it will come but not that magnificent prince that u fantisyzed but what is for you. if you have to fight to keep it it s not yours cause what is yours may Jesus be my witness u dont have to fight for it , it is yours. it has your name on it.

This guy L. i knew He was not my type more of a college boy,nice , soft spoken and at the time broke lets say not rich decent sales job not what i was accustomed to but he had a heart. i met him on the streets in Harlem at 10pm . i had a date with someone else who stood me up i was so upset and i was fuming why it only happens to me. this boy L. came out of basketball practice with his friends and he stopped and say are u waiting for me ? i burst laughing i said no and watch him walk by and as he left i felt something in my heart i dont know what it was . a part of me wanted to run after him but my reasoning part said no. i wasnt serious at the time because i thought all guys are players so me too i m playing the field just having many dates. so i forgot about him. the next day it was shiny, summer 2003 and i went to walk my friend s yorkie in the streets on 125th street and someone touch my shoulder remember it was that guy L. but i didnt remember him and taught i knew him from somewhere and gave him my card, later on like a few hours later i bump into him again. then i said God what are u trying to tell me i bump into the same guy 3 times in a row wow. but i still had the vision of the soulmate thing and was not ready for it cause remember i was playing the field. but he walked me home and we sat in front of my place and the dog who usually hates strangers went to sit on his lap and i told him i was not serious he said ok.i was trying to make him go like i m a bad person dating he did not care. he said he will call me the next day but i m so used of guys taking your number and calling a week after so i gave him a pager number ahhahahah my player instrument at the time

The next day he called and said he needed to see me the following day at 9pm and i was about to cancell him for a richer date who would take me out so when i was about to cancell he paged me to say he was downstairs. i had planned to tell him forget it. i went downstairs and for the first time i notice he was cute and tall 6'5'' very pretty just like i like it but the quiet type, humble, attentive,nice, sweet, i said to myself he aint got no money but mind u the guy had used all his paycheck to take me eat at Fridays and go to the movies and after the date i said to him he wont work we different we have 8 years difference. he said i have been working since i was 14, i live on my own 2 br apt since i m 19 and now it seems like a lot but when i be 80 you be 88 that the sweetest thing someones ever said to me i moved in with him after 3 months we been together for 3 years and married for 2 years.

Moral of the story: when it comes it does not always come the way we want it when we want it or with the bank account that we want. God knows your needs and if you just let it go and just work on your issues and bettering yourself, feeling complete by yourself so u can bring something to the table, it will happen when you are ready. Because the master only appears when the student is ready. u may be ready and the person God has chosen for you is not ready and has to go through his own issues, or sometimes you can outgrow a relationship, i m a firm believer that you attract what you are and that the relationship at the time was what u needed and was reflective of who you were at the time, so just seek to be a better you and when you least expect it there it will be. People have to let go their high expectations and the need to control everything and put a timetable to their life. annd just start living. hope it helps. You all are blessed and loved

 

[metro_qt]

Dont worry 19sweetie , it will come. i learned a long time ago that love comes when you stop looking. and i was also told that u attract what u are. before i felt i was needy , needy for love for a daddy figure i wanted romance like in them books a knight s in shining armor and i looked in all the wrong places.

I got burned looking only at what would look nice, players with sweet words, popular guys, thugs u name it. my job was to try to fix them, sacrifice my time for them, bend backwards , mold them dress them and try to control everything in the relationship and make plans in advance for our future and everything. i never had a relationship that lasted more than 3 months. all my life so i decided to protect myself because i was always looking for my soulmate

Now i do believe in soulmates and that u can even find love after love when someone dies or leaves you. i believe that when u let go of yourself and just focus on building a nice like for yourself and start loving your life you attract more of what u are in your life. it makes room for something new instead of being needy and desperate and people can read you and u only attract someone who has a need and you both play your roles in a insane dance made of unresolved issues, excess bagages. unless u ready to let it go and the time u ready to do that and say u know what i m okay i know God never make mistakes all these past relationships made me better made me understand more of me i need to be ready for what he has in store for me and when u give up and when you dont think about it anymore it will come but not that magnificent prince that u fantisyzed but what is for you. if you have to fight to keep it it s not yours cause what is yours may Jesus be my witness u dont have to fight for it , it is yours. it has your name on it.

This guy L. i knew He was not my type more of a college boy,nice , soft spoken and at the time broke lets say not rich decent sales job not what i was accustomed to but he had a heart. i met him on the streets in Harlem at 10pm . i had a date with someone else who stood me up i was so upset and i was fuming why it only happens to me. this boy L. came out of basketball practice with his friends and he stopped and say are u waiting for me ? i burst laughing i said no and watch him walk by and as he left i felt something in my heart i dont know what it was . a part of me wanted to run after him but my reasoning part said no. i wasnt serious at the time because i thought all guys are players so me too i m playing the field just having many dates. so i forgot about him. the next day it was shiny, summer 2003 and i went to walk my friend s yorkie in the streets on 125th street and someone touch my shoulder remember it was that guy L. but i didnt remember him and taught i knew him from somewhere and gave him my card, later on like a few hours later i bump into him again. then i said God what are u trying to tell me i bump into the same guy 3 times in a row wow. but i still had the vision of the soulmate thing and was not ready for it cause remember i was playing the field. but he walked me home and we sat in front of my place and the dog who usually hates strangers went to sit on his lap and i told him i was not serious he said ok.i was trying to make him go like i m a bad person dating he did not care. he said he will call me the next day but i m so used of guys taking your number and calling a week after so i gave him a pager number ahhahahah my player instrument at the time

The next day he called and said he needed to see me the following day at 9pm and i was about to cancell him for a richer date who would take me out so when i was about to cancell he paged me to say he was downstairs. i had planned to tell him forget it. i went downstairs and for the first time i notice he was cute and tall 6'5'' very pretty just like i like it but the quiet type, humble, attentive,nice, sweet, i said to myself he aint got no money but mind u the guy had used all his paycheck to take me eat at Fridays and go to the movies and after the date i said to him he wont work we different we have 8 years difference. he said i have been working since i was 14, i live on my own 2 br apt since i m 19 and now it seems like a lot but when i be 80 you be 88 that the sweetest thing someones ever said to me i moved in with him after 3 months we been together for 3 years and married for 2 years.

Moral of the story: when it comes it does not always come the way we want it when we want it or with the bank account that we want. God knows your needs and if you just let it go and just work on your issues and bettering yourself, feeling complete by yourself so u can bring something to the table, it will happen when you are ready. Because the master only appears when the student is ready. u may be ready and the person God has chosen for you is not ready and has to go through his own issues, or sometimes you can outgrow a relationship, i m a firm believer that you attract what you are and that the relationship at the time was what u needed and was reflective of who you were at the time, so just seek to be a better you and when you least expect it there it will be. People have to let go their high expectations and the need to control everything and put a timetable to their life. annd just start living. hope it helps. You all are blessed and loved

Excuse me,
that was beautiful.

 

[ekomba]

Excuse me,
that was beautiful.

Thank you metro_qt

 

[firecracker]

great thread. all man ya'll got me tearyeyed.

 

[kisz4tj]

I said no because I think that there is more than one that I could be eternally happy with. Ekomba, you've renewed my faith in meeting the one that God has for me, often times I feel challenged because I'm a divorcee and I have 2 girls....Thank you.

 

[ekomba]

I said no because I think that there is more than one that I could be eternally happy with. Ekomba, you've renewed my faith in meeting the one that God has for me, often times I feel challenged because I'm a divorcee and I have 2 girls....Thank you.

You welcome girl . Everyone deserves a second chance, a third chance we always evolving, always learning from past relationships and getting better. we can make mistakes in life, lose a loved one but we never lose love and our capacity to love. Because we are loved by our creator. but i believe that love flows back. What u lose is always replaced by something bigger and better. We are all somehow connected and our God answers prayers and there is nothing bad with hoping and keeping the faith. man can condone us and look at our lives as sin but i believe nothing is ever lost but give way to something more beautiful. Just take a look back at your life and see that u are in a better place than u were yesterday. u may still go through stuff but notice that those hardships or troubles u thought u could never surpass, u have not only already conquered but u are picking up the pieces of your life, and learning to live again because what is love if not opening up and saying yes to life yes i can do it to Jesus be the glory yes i m not my past, i deserve better i have the right to be happy and if i put it in God's hands anything is possible ask and it shall be given and i believe in miracles and that i serve a loving God that wants me to be happy and fulfilled so yes there is love after love. I refuse to believe that my God is a mean God that punishes me and doesnt want me to be happy and find someone if that what society would have me believe. i believe you can have more than one soulmate meaning at each circle of your evolution you will meet people that are right for u at the time im thinking more like a circle of people for instance had i met my husband 5years ago instead of this perfect timing it would not work and the guys are was attracted to yesterday dont do me nothing now. so we always evolving and have to adjust our needs too.

 

[cocoberry10]

I agree with that statement. Your friends may have in their head certain qualities that their soulmate must have in order for them to except him. I feel that if they can't let go of their expectations than they may never receive the man that God has for them. The man that God has for them may not look or act at all, like what they think they need or want, but when the man is the one that God has chosen for them he will be perfect for them.

My husband was completely different from any man I had ever dated. He looked different and acted different from the men I usually dated. I’m happy I decided to date him because I found out he’s perfect for me in everyway. Theirs no way I would have known if he was the right man for me if the circumstances that happened to bring us together didn't happen. I had a completely different picture in my head of what my soulmate was going to look and act like.

I remember when I was like your friends, and like them I thought I had found my soulmate. I remember trying to make him be that perfect man, but he wasn’t for me and I wasn’t happy. That’s why on New Years Eve of 1998 I prayed and asked the Lord to find my soulmate for me. I knew I didn’t know what I needed because I kept picking all the wrong guys. I finally gave everything to the Lord and I believe he saw in my heart that I was ready to except anything he had to offer. I stopped looking completely and my soulmate found me.

Also even if your friends do receive their soulmate that doesn’t mean they will never have disagreements and some qualities they don't like in him. They will have to remember that he's human and all humans have flaws somewhere. They will have to learn to still love him despite any qualities they don't like and then they can work on trying to change them together, but they must also remember that they might have qualities that he doesn’t like and they must be willing to change them too.

Thanks, this was really good. I wish more women knew this!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I was reading on a Christian forum about this topic and they brought up some interesting points. One question that came out was:

Does God actually predestine one woman for one man? If so, what about free will? What if the person God intended for you chooses another or chooses to live a different lifestyle? Does God actually act as a matchmaker?

My own personal take (which is evolving) is that God definitely does bring some people together. I don't know if He brings all couples together (duh) but I'm not even sure God is that involved in our love lives. I can't even believe I'm typing this, but I guess I'm starting to feel like if a particular relationship does not fulfill God's divine plan in some way, that it either happens or it doesn't. I guess I'm just feeling pessimistic.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

An article about God as a matchmaker.

http://www.ninetyandnine.com/Archives/20040524/cover.htm

 

[gummibear1]

Great thread ladies! I am new here, I often like to lurk around, but wanted to share my story b/c I think it's very relevant to the topic.
A few years ago I had just come out of a 5 year relationship with an abusive, controlling boyfriend. This was a very tough situation for me because I really loved this guy, and always thought no one would ever love me the way he did (weird I know, b/c how could he love me if he treated me so badly?). Anyway, I felt so alone after our break-up, and even though he treated me bad all I could do was think about him because I had no friends and no one to talk to. So one day I prayed and asked God to send me a man who loved the Lord, who was intelligent, goal-driven, who would live up to my own and my family's exectations of who I should be with. The following Sunday as I sat in church my attention was drawn immediately to a guy sitting in the front row. He attended the university where I was going to school and I spoke to him briefly at a party once a while back. From the moment I met this guy I couldn't help but think about how handsome he was and how intelligent he seemed. So the whole time in church I couldn't keep my eyes off him . Besides being mesmerized by his good looks, He seemed to really enjoy the sermon and I could tell he really loved the Lord. Something about this guy just really attracted me to him so I contacted him via email days later and we immediately hit it off. In one of our conversations I learned that he became a member of our church the same month I did and had attended service the same time that I did every Sunday. This is so ironic because I NEVER saw him at church until that one day after I had prayed and asked the Lord for a blessing. It's like the Lord opened my eyes to someone who was there all along..but for some reason I didn't even notice until I asked Him to send me someone.
Well currently, we are still dating as boyfriend and girlfriend, going on 3 years now. I know that the Lord answered my prayer the day he sent my boyfriend into my life. I was very vulnerable and depressed at the time that we started dating and he made it so much easier to get over the issues I was facing. The Lord brought us together right on time. He knows exactly when the right time is for you to meet that special someone so just be patient and trust in Him.

 

[crlsweetie912]

I don't think God will show everyone their soulmate in the same way, but for me this is the way it happened.

In 1996 I had a dream that I was walking in Kings Island amusement park in Ohio and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I had a tall man next to me and we were walking hand in hand. I couldn?t see his face because it was blurry. It felt perfect unlike anything I had ever felt before. I felt complete. When I woke I still had that same feeling and I believed God had sent me that dream/vision. So I knew my soulmate was out their waiting for me, and I was going to find him, but little did I know he was not for me to find but, for God to send him to me when I was ready.

On New Years Eve of 1998 I made my New Years resolution to the Lord that I was going to stop trying to find the right man for myself and let him find the right man for me. I told him I didn't know what I wanted and that he was the only one who would know what I really needed and wanted in a man.

2 weeks later I was at work (I use to work in the drive threw at McDonalds) and this guy pulled up. It was strange, it felt like I knew him. We just starred at each other. He was starring at me like I was unreal. Finally I took the money for his order and he asked me how old I was and if he could have my number. I gave him my pager number. The next day I received a page, I never called it back. I received a page from the same number for 5 days straight. I didn't recognize the number, but I knew it was him. The human realistic part of myself would keep thinking it might not be him. You see I use to give out my pager number to guys all the time. It was an easy way to get them to go away without being mean, but when they paged me I would never call them back. I believe the Lord was trying to let me know that it was him and not any of those other guys. I remember sitting up in bed contemplating if I was going to call back the number. At this time it was 6 days ago that he had last paged me, then all of a sudden I got this really powerful feeling that it was in fact him and if I didn't call the number back he was not going to page me anymore. So I went ahead and called and he picked it up on the first ring. He said he knew I had to call back, he knew I felt the same thing he had. we talked for 8 hours straight and had almost everything in common.

He later told me that he was driving to blockbuster and he happened to see me in the McDonalds drive threw window he said I was glowing. He said it was this really bright white light all around me, and I was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He said he then immediately turned up in the McDonalds drive threw, and that's why he was starring at me like that.

In 2000 we got married and guess what...........Our honeymoon was at Kings Island amusement park and I was extremely happy like in the dream I had 4 years ago. I didn't remember the dream until after the honeymoon and that's when I told him about it.

This is the most beautiful story I have EVER heard. Congratulations.

 

[caligirl2385]

THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES, LADIES.