Sooo I need some help - long

[leona2025]

I'm ready to cut it all off! I've been having breakage. My hair only breaks when it's dry. I used to wash and condition and flat iron my hair once a week and my hair was at it's healthiest.

Now I cowash and dc 1 or 2 times a week and air dry and bun. My hair is in the worse shape ever. My hair thrives on heat I guess, but I don't have time or inclination to be flat ironing weekly. Plus I hate the way it looks straight because of the breakage I've have. And the knots. All my breakage is the back. The part of my hair that I never color.

I need some suggestion as to how to get this under control before I'm bald. I suspect that maybe my silicon mix conditioner is not as good as I like to thinkerplexed. I've been thinking this for a while, but I didn't want to give up hope. It is the only conditioner that I use regularly. I get excellent slip with this conditioner, but my hair is still extra dry when it dries. I've been trying different leave ins to combat this, but ultimately I believe I must need a new moisturizing dc/co wash. That makes me sad because I LOVE this conditioner. (that it's cheap and come in huge vats)

Recently I have been mixing the silicon mix with roux moisture recover conditioner and covering all that with VO5: Passion Fruit Smoothie Conditioner Moisture Milks. I've had some success with this, but that is a lot to do. I'm just about out of Silicon Mix and the Roux. The Roux is $12 for 8ozs and the bottle just won't last with me for too long. The Silicon Mix is cheaper, but I order from sick bay and the shipping is killer.

I'm not sure what my hair needs at this point, but I'm thinking it needs a super moisturizing conditioner. I'm tired. I just wanna cut it all off. I'm picking up the scissors. I may be bald tomorrow. I miss the days when I didn't know a thing about hair care and that I didn't know crunchy ponytails weren't the business.

Please someone suggest something. Not that raggedy Kenra. Any one using Design Essentials or Mizani conditioners? I still have a few packs of my holy grail, but since it's not readily available to me, I tend to not use it.

 

[Firstborn2]

Hmmm have you tried steaming, I know that helped me when I had issues with dry hair and everything else I tried fell.

 

[NaturalfienD]

OP, is there a possibility that your hair would like some protein? When I experienced a lot of breakage, I realized that I didn't incorporate protein as much as I needed to ... my hair is fine and thrives off protein.

If you are good on your moisture-protein balance, I would suggest that you get your hair in some sort of PS so you don't cut off all of your hard work. The siggy photo of your hair is beautiful by the way.

I will be tuned in to see the great feedback you get from some of the OGs from the forum ...

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

It seems to me it could be silicone build up. Silicone Mix is chalk full of it and while the slip is great and the shine is awesome, it may not be supplying your delicate strands with the moisture it desires.

My personal suggestions would be to clarify then DC with a Balancing DC (A DC with good moisture and protein content). When I was experimenting with my silicone usage a while ago I found that with the regular use of cones clarifying was VITAL (Seriously, I've had 2 setbacks because of excessive breakage at the ends due to cone build up, its one of the reasons I went low to no cone). Also, if you hair loves heat then maybe you should find a way to incorporate it back into your regimen. Maybe you can just blow dry weekly instead of flat ironing; this way you hair receives the heat it desires without all the stress of a strenuous flat iron session. I'm not 100% positive because it can be a number of things, but from what you described heavy silicone build up could most definitely be the cause.

A few suggestions: (most of them have a tad bit of cone and good M/P balance since your a regular heat user your hair may need this)

Aubrey Organics GPB, HSR, and WC
ORS Replenishing Conditioner
KeraPro Restorative Treatment
Keracare Humecto
Elucence Moisture Balancing Conditioner

 

[leona2025]

It seems to me it could be silicone build up. Silicone Mix is chalk full of it and while the slip is great and the shine is awesome, it may not be supplying your delicate strands with the moisture it desires.
My personal suggestions would be to clarify then DC with a Balancing DC (A DC with good moisture and protein content). When I was experimenting with my silicone usage a while ago I found that with the regular use of cones clarifying was VITAL (Seriously, I've had 2 setbacks because of excessive breakage at the ends due to cone build up). Also, if you hair loves heat then maybe you should find a way to incorporate it back into your regimen. Maybe you can just blow dry weekly instead of flat ironing; this way you hair receives the heat it desires without all the stress of a strenuous flat iron session. I'm not 100% positive because it can be a number of things, but from what you described heavy silicone build up could most definitely be the cause.

EnExitStageLeftThanks for the info. Maybe build up is the problem. I also use Silicon Mix as a leave in because of the slip. I've been having this issue the most since starting my use of Silicon Mix, but I still stuck with it. I relaxed yesterday and I used the aloe shampoo and my hair came out so soft and shiny. It's looks better than it has in a long time. I also mist my hair daily with diluted lacio lacio. I think these two products are the culprits.

How can I tell if I have silicon bulid up? What Dc do you suggest? Your hair is beautiful. What is your reggie/products?

 

[Nonie]

It seems to me it could be silicone build up. Silicone Mix is chalk full of it and while the slip is great and the shine is awesome, it may not be supplying your delicate strands with the moisture it desires.
My personal suggestions would be to clarify then DC with a Balancing DC (A DC with good moisture and protein content). When I was experimenting with my silicone usage a while ago I found that with the regular use of cones clarifying was VITAL (Seriously, I've had 2 setbacks because of excessive breakage at the ends due to cone build up). Also, if you hair loves heat then maybe you should find a way to incorporate it back into your regimen. Maybe you can just blow dry weekly instead of flat ironing; this way you hair receives the heat it desires without all the stress of a strenuous flat iron session. I'm not 100% positive because it can be a number of things, but from what you described heavy silicone build up could most definitely be the cause.

ITA with EnExitStageLeft. I think I'm beginning to understand why people hate cones or find them not to work. They use them as a moisturizer instead of using them as a seal. You cannot coat your hair with silicone before imparting internal moisture to the strands and expect to have soft hair. As long as I've been on the forum, I don't know what Silicon Mix is. I assume it's something y'all make at home? If so, that's another thing I have never been tempted to do. I may know a bit of science but I don't feel confident enough to create a product that is the optimum moisturizer...and that won't also go rancid on my hair and also guarantee that my hair won't break from lacking protein or sufficient moisture. I leave that to the pros.

I think you would benefit from using a DC w/o cones in it (like GPB which would also answer the question about whether protein is the missing link) and doing it often enough to ensure moisture penetrates your strands. And then if you want to do a CW with your silicon mix, you can then embalm your strands with a slippery coating that gives you the slip you like. This will coat your strands, but you won't be coating parched strands. Just remember to clarify in your next wash before DCing with a non-cone conditioner and then finish with your Silicone Mix conditioner to seal strands.

 

[lamaria211]

My suggestion is to clarify, trim if needed, a good protein condish and a moisture DC

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

leona2025

Thank you so much for the sweet compliment, your hair in your siggy is TO DIE FOR! and my regimen is supppppppper simple.

Weekly:

I Prepoo with hempseed oil on my length and ends and Hair trigger on my scalp

I then shampoo with Elasta QP Creme Conditoning Shampoo

I then DC with a moisturizing DC of choice (Im a PJ so I have more then a few )

If its a protein week then I'll do a reconstructive treatment prior to my Moisturizing DC.

Daily:
M&S and Bun
Currently I'm rotating between Bee Mine Luscious (I use this on my after moisture washes, it contains a bit of protein) and Darcy's Botanicals Sweet Cocoa Bean Curl Smoothing Cream (I use this after my reconstructive treatment/protein washes, straight moisture) and Sealing with Silk Dreams Mocha Bling Butter

Monthly:
I clarify and follow my usual weekly regimen.

TADDDDDAAAAAAA! Thats all

Oh and I edited my last post and added a list of suggestions.

 

[leona2025]

ITA with @EnExitStageLeft. I think I'm beginning to understand why people hate cones or find them not to work. They use them as a moisturizer instead of using them as a seal. You cannot coat your hair with silicone before imparting internal moisture to the strands and expect to have soft hair. As long as I've been on the forum, I don't know what Silicon Mix is. I assume it's something y'all make at home? If so, that's another thing I have never been tempted to do. I may know a bit of science but I don't feel confident enough to create a product that is the optimum moisturizer...and that won't also go rancid on my hair and also guarantee that my hair won't break from lacking protein or sufficient moisture. I leave that to the pros.

I think you would benefit from using a DC w/o cones in it (like GPB which would also answer the question about whether protein is the missing link) and doing it often enough to ensure moisture penetrates your strands. And then if you want to do a CW with your silicon mix, you can then embalm your strands with a slippery coating that gives you the slip you like. This will coat your strands, but you won't be coating parched strands. Just remember to clarify in your next wash before DCing with a non-cone conditioner and then finish with your Silicone Mix conditioner to seal strands.

Nonie Hey Nonie. Silicon Mix is a Dominican conditioner. I never really paid attention to cones. I also use Aphogee 2 minute weekly or every other week as a light protein.

 

[Nonie]

leona2025, do you use shampoo? If so, how often and which shampoo?

 

[leona2025]

@leona2025, do you use shampoo? If so, how often and which shampoo?

I do. I have two that I use. ORS Aloe Shampoo and Creme of Nature Sunflower & Coconut Detangling Conditioning Shampoo. I use the Aloe every now and then and I use the Creme of Nature weekly, but I more recently I have been cowashing with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration mid week to help cope with dryness.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

@leona2025

I forgot to add this but it goes.

Silicone BU is really hard to detect in my opinion. My hair sometime felt clean after shampooing and it air dried light and flowy, but still felt brittle. Also, Sometimes it felt as if I had a layer of 'something' on my hair and no matter how much I cowash and shampoo it just DIDN'T come off. When I then made the transitioned to no cone/low cone (I only use one reconstructor that has cones and I only use it when I relax) it took about 2 clarifying/chelating sessions to remove all of it, that's just how much cone BU I had. However I think its different for each individual person, but that was my personal experience.

 

[leona2025]

@leona2025

I forgot to add this but it goes.

Silicone BU is really hard to detect in my opinion. My hair sometime felt clean after shampooing and it air dried light and flowy, but still felt brittle. Also, Sometimes it felt as if I had a layer of 'something' on my hair and no matter how much I cowash and shampoo it just DIDN'T come off. When I then made the transitioned to no cone/low cone (I only use one silicone reconstructor that has cones and I only use it when I relax) and it took about 2 clarifying/chelating sessions to remove all of it, that's just how much cone BU I had. However I think its different for each individual person, but that was my personal experience.

This right here describes my hair after airdrying.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

leona2025

Its Cone BU then. Clarifying could definitely help .

 

[Nonie]

I do. I have two that I use. ORS Aloe Shampoo and Creme of Nature Sunflower & Coconut Detangling Conditioning Shampoo. I use the Aloe every now and then and I use the Creme of Nature weekly, but I more recently I have been cowashing with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration mid week to help cope with dryness.

Not CREME OF NATURE.

A moment of silence here...

When I first joined LHCF, CON was the shampoo for naturals. I jumped on that bandwagon with excitement. But my hair used to be a hard dry mess when I used that stuff. Felt wonderful when wet with the shampoo on. Slip was awesome. But after I rinsed it out and my hair airdried, I had STEEL WOOL where I was supposed to have hair. Also my hair had a grayish hue. (Methinks CON coats the hair making it impossible for conditioning to work well!) So you end up with parched hair that is now coated with a silicone conditioner. Double trouble galore!

My hair turned around when I stopped using "natural shampoos". And I did give them up for a long time, especially after trying out AO shampoos and finding that they left my hair feeling like a slug had crawled over it and left it gummy. Clearly natural shampoos were a flop. Or so I believed.

It wasn't until I discovered Giovanni that I was happy using sulfate-free shampoos. I really think CON may be part of your problem. It's the debil as far as I'm concerned. Try Giovanni 50:50, DC with a no-cone reconstructor (so you get both protein and moisture in one) and then finish off with the Silicon Mix to add the slip. I bet you will be pleasantly surprised by the difference in your hair.

 

[leona2025]

Not CREME OF NATURE.

A moment of silence here...

When I first joined LHCF, CON was the shampoo for naturals. I jumped on that bandwagon with excitement. But my hair used to be a hard dry mess when I used that stuff. Felt wonderful when wet with the shampoo on. Slip was awesome. But after I rinsed it out and my hair airdried, I had STEEL WOOL where I was supposed to have hair. Also my hair had a grayish hue. (Methinks CON coats the hair making it impossible for conditioning to work well!) So you end up with parched hair that is now coated with a silicone conditioner. Double trouble galore!

My hair turned around when I stopped using "natural shampoos". And I did give them up for a long time, especially after trying out AO shampoos and finding that they left my hair feeling like a slug had crawled over it and left it gummy. Clearly natural shampoos were a flop. Or so I believed.

It wasn't until I discovered Giovanni that I was happy using sulfate-free shampoos. I really think CON may be part of your problem. It's the debil as far as I'm concerned. Try Giovanni 50:50, DC with a no-cone reconstructor (so you get both protein and moisture in one) and then finish off with the Silicon Mix to add the slip. I bet you will be pleasantly surprised by the difference in your hair.

at the gif. I just started using that shampoo in the last few months. The shampoo acts the same on my hair with the super slip. I thought CON was unicorn tears around here. SO I figured it was a good one for me. Ugh seems like I will be reworking my whole reggie. I guess it takes time to see something is not working. I will try the Giovanni. I have been recently been research natural hair lines, but there are so many and I don't know where to start. I'm really starting to see that slip does not = moisturized.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

leona2025

Darcy's Botanicals, BeeMine and KomazaCare are a couple of my fav's. I also like Aubrey Organics, Spiral Solutions, Silk Dreams, Curl Junkie, B.A.S.K, Elucence, Shescentit and alot more but I'll stop because well........its alot ..... I told you I was a pj.

 

[leona2025]

@leona2025

Darcy's Botanicals, BeeMine and KomazaCare are a couple of my fav's. I also like Aubrey Organics, Spiral Solutions, Silk Dreams, Curl Junkie, B.A.S.K, Elucence, Shescentit and alot more but I'll stop because well........its alot ..... I told you I was a pj.

I was looking at Elucence and B.A.S.K. I hate to buy full sizes of stuff tho because if I don't like it.... Which products do you like from Silk Dreams and B.A.S.K? I have to look at the others because I haven't heard them really. Are you relaxed?

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

B.A.S.K:
Their DC'S
Java Bean pomade
Tapioca moisturizer
Detangling milk

Silk Dreams:
Chocolate Bliss Conditioner
Silk Dream Moisture Dream
Avocado Pudding
Mocha Bling butter

Elucence:
Their Dc(STAPLE)
Reconstructor
SHampoo
Chelating/Neutralizing Shampoo (STAPLE)


And yes, I'm texlaxed.

 

[greenandchic]

leona2025 - I had the same breakage-in-the-back issue when I used Aphogee protein treatments. My hair loves protein, but that was way too harsh for me.

Aubrey Organics GPB and other medium/light protein is key for me. Also protein imitators like henna, Roux Porosity Corrector, panthenol treatments work far better for me than certain forms of protein and doesn't fry my hair like Aphogee. For some of us, Aphogee is not light.

 

[leona2025]

@leona2025 - I had the same breakage-in-the-back issue when I used Aphogee protein treatments. My hair loves protein, but that was way too harsh for me.

Aubrey Organics GPB and other medium/light protein is key for me. Also protein imitators like henna, Roux Porosity Corrector, panthenol treatments work far better for me than certain forms of protein and doesn't fry my hair like Aphogee. For some of us, Aphogee is not light.

greenandchic I've become interested in panthenol treatments for thicker hair also. Do you have any suggestions?

 

[anoriginalpyt]

do you use any sort of oil treatment?

 

[leona2025]

do you use any sort of oil treatment?

I can't use oil or products with oil in them. They break my face out if even a tiny bit of oil touches my skin.

 

[greenandchic]

greenandchic I've become interested in panthenol treatments for thicker hair also. Do you have any suggestions?

The only one I'm able to find is by a very small local company - I don't think they even have a website. The company is called, The Natural Solution and is sold in local co-ops. I'm trying to find a more commercial one, but I'm coming up short for now...

 

[Monaleezza]

Hi OP,
I had your same experience.

I increased my protein balance and also introduced henna to my regime and the breakage, shedding and knotting simply stopped.

Don't cut it off, the solution is out there.

 

[Evolving78]

how much breakage are we talking?

i use Mizani Milk Bath to wash my hair. (it is a shampoo, but the consistency is a cream base)
i also use Mizani MoisturFusion Silk Creme Conditioner. i work it really well into my hair.

for cowashing, i use Suave Almond and Shea Butter.

i think you may need to clarify. you are blocking out too much moisture using cones like that. i am a fan of cones, but i also use sulfates to remove them and i wash my hair 1-2x a week. you need to clarify and use a moisturizing conditioner that isn't meant to block out moisture.

Aphogee 2 step is too strong for me as a protein treatment. i can only use Aphogee 2 min. i took me months to recover from protein overload. the Suave Almond and Shea Butter brought my hair back to life. i didn't mess with any products that had protein as the first 5-6 ingredients for 6 months. i just started back incorporating cowashing and protein again.

i air dry and bun, but i apply my moisturizer and oil to seal after my hair is totally dry. i do use a leave-in and argan oil while my hair completely dries. i started using the tee shirt method too. it seems to not rob my hair of moisture and is smoothes the cuticles better.

 

[divachyk]

@leona2025

Did your breakage start when you incorporated the 2x a week wash sessions & air drying? If yes....

I struggle with something quite similar. My air dried texture is wavy, coarse and hard to infuse moisture, thus breakage results. My hair thrives on being heat styled. I opt for weekly roller sets (time consuming - yes, but less breakage) or sitting under a hooded dryer with a bun in my hair to dry my hair. Bunning under the hooded dryer doesn't make my hair roller set sleek but the results are better than my air dried results. However, bunning/hood drying is less manipulation than roller setting.

Stopping air drying has helped tremendously. Also, I wash my hair 1x weekly. I can get by with 2x weekly but I have to proceed with caution as my hair doesn't fair well with frequent wash sessions throughout the week.

When I've struggled with breakage, many have suggested protein but my hair is protein sensitive and protein simply was a no-go. Before labeling products or lack of protein to be the issue, maybe change up your drying methods to see if that corrects the issue.

 

[Evolving78]

^^^ITA! try a different drying method. you need a nice moisturizing leave-in too. if you want to use a serum, make sure you have moisturized your hair first, then you can seal with a serum. don't use that serum for the rest of the week.

 

[leona2025]

The only one I'm able to find is by a very small local company - I don't think they even have a website. The company is called, The Natural Solution and is sold in local co-ops. I'm trying to find a more commercial one, but I'm coming up short for now...

I was looking online and didn't really find any besides this one already mentioned in another thread.

how much breakage are we talking?

i use Mizani Milk Bath to wash my hair. (it is a shampoo, but the consistency is a cream base)
i also use Mizani MoisturFusion Silk Creme Conditioner. i work it really well into my hair.

for cowashing, i use Suave Almond and Shea Butter.

i think you may need to clarify. you are blocking out too much moisture using cones like that. i am a fan of cones, but i also use sulfates to remove them and i wash my hair 1-2x a week. you need to clarify and use a moisturizing conditioner that isn't meant to block out moisture.

Aphogee 2 step is too strong for me as a protein treatment. i can only use Aphogee 2 min. i took me months to recover from protein overload. the Suave Almond and Shea Butter brought my hair back to life. i didn't mess with any products that had protein as the first 5-6 ingredients for 6 months. i just started back incorporating cowashing and protein again.

i air dry and bun, but i apply my moisturizer and oil to seal after my hair is totally dry. i do use a leave-in and argan oil while my hair completely dries. i started using the tee shirt method too. it seems to not rob my hair of moisture and is smoothes the cuticles better.

Yes I only do the 2 minute. I had an instance of protein overload a few months ago after leaving in a "moisturizing" conditioner overnight.

@leona2025

Did your breakage start when you incorporated the 2x a week wash sessions & air drying? If yes....

I struggle with something quite similar. My air dried texture is wavy, coarse and hard to infuse moisture, thus breakage results. My hair thrives on being heat styled. I opt for weekly roller sets (time consuming - yes, but less breakage) or sitting under a hooded dryer with a bun in my hair to dry my hair. Bunning under the hooded dryer doesn't make my hair roller set sleek but the results are better than my air dried results. However, bunning/hood drying is less manipulation than roller setting.

Stopping air drying has helped tremendously. Also, I wash my hair 1x weekly. I can get by with 2x weekly but I have to proceed with caution as my hair doesn't fair well with frequent wash sessions throughout the week.

When I've struggled with breakage, many have suggested protein but my hair is protein sensitive and protein simply was a no-go. Before labeling products or lack of protein to be the issue, maybe change up your drying methods to see if that corrects the issue.

Yes that's when the issues started, but I wash once with shampoo and cowash with conditioner the second time. I thought I would be safe going for a low manipulation routine. I like the bunning under a dry. I try to do things the easy way.

^^^ITA! try a different drying method. you need a nice moisturizing leave-in too. if you want to use a serum, make sure you have moisturized your hair first, then you can seal with a serum. don't use that serum for the rest of the week.

This is good advice. I think I have been using the wrong products and in the wrong order. I've been using Organix Anti Breakage serum. It has an oil like consistence and feel, but it doesn't break my skin out. I put that serum on first because I was having the breakage and then my moisturizer.