Socializing and your Christian Walk

[LoveisYou]

As a new Christian who recently rededicated my life to Christ, I have been thinking about acceptable activities for my social calendar. Before I was quite the partier, but lately my desire to attend clubs/lounges has been diminishing. I enjoy socializing but I am looking for different ways to socialize. I recently joined a Christian ladies meetup group, and I’m pretty excited to attend the events. Most of my friends are unsaved and I’m still invited out to bars/happy hours/lounges/clubs etc. Where do I draw the line when it comes to these things? I found this (see below) after doing a google search but would love to hear from you ladies




"Happy Hour" for Christians

The Question:
I am a strong Christian who has a corporate job and occasionally my co-workers want to go out for Happy Hour. I normally don't go because I am not really comfortable in the bar scene, but I am seeing that my co-workers who go seem to have a better rapport with each other at work and I just read an article that talks about how it can actually help your career. I have no interest in drinking at the Happy Hour, but is it wrong for me to go for the social aspect and to build relationships? As a Christian I want to be a light to the world, but I also want to be relatable so that they will be more open to listen to me when I give godly advice. What is the right thing to do?
JE from Michigan

The Answer
Part 1: Two birds, one stone ​

Two birds, one stone (Part 1)

Well we have two issues here. One is the social aspect which also ties in with career building. The other one is spiritual and how this fits with being a Christian witness in whatever field God has planted you. Let's try to address both.
First, I wonder where Jesus would show up if he ministered today instead of 2000 years ago. People were scandalized at the time with his choice of associates. That is hard for us to relate to now because our culture is so different. We don't see that dinner at the house of a tax collector is any big deal but the religious leaders of his time certainly did.
Jesus said very clearly: "I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." (Luke 5:32) So I think he would go anywhere sinners are and that's pretty much everywhere. Christians too often gradually diminish their circle of friends and acquaintances to only other Christians. It's easier in many ways, I'll grant you that. But that was not Jesus' call and it is not our call.
There is nothing intrinsically evil about going to Happy Hour with friends or co-workers after work. What is essential though is how you conduct yourself. You are called to be an ambassador for Christ to the world. Ambassadors don't want to embarrass their home country and your home country is God's Kingdom. Be careful how you represent it. You may be the only sample they ever get.
Therefore, I think it is wise that you have "no interest in drinking" at these events. Even if you feel that drinking is permissible, this may not be the best time for it. Fortunately for you, not drinking is now perfectly in style and no one cares if you sit there with a Coke or a ginger ale.
What should we say to someone who objects that your motives are not totally spiritual? You mention wanting a better rapport with co-workers and helping your career. There is nothing wrong with that either. It is very true that networking is a key to career success and most of networking takes place outside work hours. I would say, in fact, that you are simply killing two birds with one stone.

 

[JinaRicci]

Congratulations LoveisYou!!! That is awesome.

You draw the line with the leading of the Holy Spirit because you will meet lots of Christians with different opinions.

I think the Holy Spirit is leading you now to have different desires. Whenever I have that discomfort, that niggling question about whether something is right, it's the Spirit working on me. On some level that I might not want to hear, I already know the answer-it's not right.

JMO: I don't agree with the article. I don't think God expects you to sabotage your career but He does expect you to put Him first. If the Holy Spirit has convicted you of not drinking then to me you wouldn't want to be at a function centered around drinking. To do so would be a compromise of your beliefs and you would probably be uncomfortable the whole time.

Put another way, if the person was in AA, recovering from drinking, would they hang out with their coworkers at happy hour? To me that's what we are- recovering sinners who can still be tempted.

Asking the question WWJD can be tricky because do we mean what would Jesus, as a human who was subject to all temptations do? Or what would Jesus, the Son of God who promises to never leave us do? We could use that question to justify going anywhere- no where would be off limits because we could convince ourselves that God would always be with us.

Then I think we also have to allow God to SHOW UP in our lives and fulfill His promises to us. He cares about everything. The same God who gave you that job will give you promotions and allow you to build a good network in other ways without compromising.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

^^^^I agree with some of your points and understand where you are coming from but I have to disagree with the premise that when we become Christians that you should cut yourself off from doing seemingly ungodly activities.

It appears spiritual and god-ward thinking that once you become a Christian you would do primarily Christian things. Go to Christian events. Have majority Christian friends, etc.

However, we are called to be the salt of the earth. We are called to be in the world but not of the world.

So if you never get to a place in your walk with God where you can be around sinners and not sin, you may want to question how deep your walk is with God?

This is not to say that you go to a club, lounge, happy hour and drink to your heart's content and expect to be the light of the world to unbelievers. But you go, you network, you let it be known your values are in Christ. Or you sleep at your boyfriends house. Or you go to Vegas and play the tables, etc. etc. If something or someone is out of line, you make a godly wisdom call on whether to speak up or leave.

This is a problem alot of unbeliever have with Christians. We get saved and we lose touch that we used to be just like them. Instead of helping them understand, we leave them to there own devices.

This would be difficult for a new Christian but for the veterans, your walk should be strong enough that you use wisdom when attending certain places.

 

[Laela]

I'm sorry...you lost me at the bolded...
I don't know what mature Christian would go sleep at their boyfriend's house

The thing is, when we renew our minds and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us ...our paths will get directed. People WILL change during the process, so that even the places we use to LOVE to go aren't appealing anymore. Sinners are all around us. I can witness to someone at the gas station... I don't have to go to Vegas to prove I'm no longer tempted. People go to Vegas primarily to gamble.. If it's a convention or a job-related trip or something like that, I can understand. I believe the intent and purpose is what matters.

True, we can try to change our actions and not renew our minds. It's a start, but if the mind isn't changed (by the Word of God) to line up with our actions, we'll always be drawn away by our own lust, until that certain sin is overcome.

At the underlined, that same wisdom is what would keep me from making choices that would affect my walk.

We find in Romans this dictate: What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? God forbid .. That's not a call to be SuperChristian, but to instead focus on what is more important.

Romans 6
Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ

1WHAT SHALL we say [to all this]? Are we to remain in sin in order that God's grace (favor and mercy) may multiply and overflow? 2Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer?
3Are you ignorant of the fact that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
4We were buried therefore with Him by the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious [power] of the Father, so we too might [habitually] live and behave in newness of life.
5For if we have become one with Him by sharing a death like His, we shall also be [one with Him in sharing] His resurrection [by a new life lived for God].
6We know that our old (unrenewed) self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that [our] body [which is the instrument] of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin.
7For when a man dies, he is freed (loosed, delivered) from [the power of] sin [among men].
8Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9Because we know that Christ (the Anointed One), being once raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has power over Him.
10For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God [in unbroken fellowship with Him].
11Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God [living in unbroken fellowship with Him] in Christ Jesus.
12Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to its cravings and be subject to its lusts and evil passions.
13Do not continue offering or yielding your bodily members [and [a]faculties] to sin as instruments (tools) of wickedness. But offer and yield yourselves to God as though you have been raised from the dead to [perpetual] life, and your bodily members [and [b]faculties] to God, presenting them as implements of righteousness.
14For sin shall not [any longer] exert dominion over you, since now you are not under Law [as slaves], but under grace [as subjects of God's favor and mercy].

^^^^I agree with some of your points and understand where you are coming from but I have to disagree with the premise that when we become Christians that you should cut yourself off from doing seemingly ungodly activities.

It appears spiritual and god-ward thinking that once you become a Christian you would do primarily Christian things. Go to Christian events. Have majority Christian friends, etc.

However, we are called to be the salt of the earth. We are called to be in the world but not of the world.

So if you never get to a place in your walk with God where you can be around sinners and not sin, you may want to question how deep your walk is with God?

This is not to say that you go to a club, lounge, happy hour and drink to your heart's content and expect to be the light of the world to unbelievers. But you go, you network, you let it be known your values are in Christ. Or you sleep at your boyfriends house. Or you go to Vegas and play the tables, etc. etc. If something or someone is out of line, you make a godly wisdom call on whether to speak up or leave.

This is a problem alot of unbeliever have with Christians. We get saved and we lose touch that we used to be just like them. Instead of helping them understand, we leave them to there own devices.

This would be difficult for a new Christian but for the veterans, your walk should be strong enough that you use wisdom when attending certain places.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I'm sorry...you lost me at the bolded...
I don't know what mature Christian would go sleep at their boyfriend's house

The thing is, when we renew our minds and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us ...our paths will get directed. People WILL change during the process, so that even the places we use to LOVE to go aren't appealing anymore. Sinners are all around us. I can witness to someone at the gas station... I don't have to go to Vegas to prove I'm no longer tempted. People go to Vegas primarily to gamble.. If it's a convention or a job-related trip or something like that, I can understand. I believe the intent and purpose is what matters.

True, we can try to change our actions and not renew our minds. It's a start, but if the mind isn't changed (by the Word of God) to line up with our actions, we'll always be drawn away by our own lust, until that certain sin is overcome.

At the underlined, that same wisdom is what would keep me from making choices that would affect my walk.

We find in Romans this dictate: What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? God forbid .. That's not a call to be SuperChristian, but to instead focus on what is more important.

Romans 6
Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ

1WHAT SHALL we say [to all this]? Are we to remain in sin in order that God's grace (favor and mercy) may multiply and overflow? 2Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer?
3Are you ignorant of the fact that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
4We were buried therefore with Him by the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious [power] of the Father, so we too might [habitually] live and behave in newness of life.
5For if we have become one with Him by sharing a death like His, we shall also be [one with Him in sharing] His resurrection [by a new life lived for God].
6We know that our old (unrenewed) self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that [our] body [which is the instrument] of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin.
7For when a man dies, he is freed (loosed, delivered) from [the power of] sin [among men].
8Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9Because we know that Christ (the Anointed One), being once raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has power over Him.
10For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God [in unbroken fellowship with Him].
11Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God [living in unbroken fellowship with Him] in Christ Jesus.
12Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to its cravings and be subject to its lusts and evil passions.
13Do not continue offering or yielding your bodily members [and [a]faculties] to sin as instruments (tools) of wickedness. But offer and yield yourselves to God as though you have been raised from the dead to [perpetual] life, and your bodily members [and [b]faculties] to God, presenting them as implements of righteousness.
14For sin shall not [any longer] exert dominion over you, since now you are not under Law [as slaves], but under grace [as subjects of God's favor and mercy].

Yeah you did lose me because that's not what I was saying. I'm saying you don't do those things. But I'm also saying you don't cut yourself off either. If you don't have a desire to go then don't. God is moving you somewhere else. But if your intentions to go are pure than go, network then leave. You don't to prove yourself spiritual by being around sinners. You don't have to prove yourself spiritual by not going either.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[LoveisYou]

Thank you ladies for your responses, I would love to hear more

JinaRicci, thanks for the congrats

 

[makeupgirl]

Quick question? Is it ok for a believer to go to Las Vegas? I want to go, just to go and have that experience as part of my love for traveling but I have no interest in gambling or even stepping through a casino (I have a video game addiction so I wouldn't be able to anyway) but is it ok and visit and just shopping, sight-see, and maybe catch a show (ok I can see that going to the the chippendales maybe out of the question).

 

[BeautifulFlower]

For me, yes. If you're not there for the illicit things and your heart is in the right place, enjoy. Man looks on the outside but God looks at the heart. I always remember that when I do anything. If my heart is in a not so good place, I'll stay home. If my heart is pure and the Lord does not convict me, I enjoy life and new/different places.

I went to Vegas when I was 16 (almost 10 years ago) and there are all kinds of things to do there. Think of it as just another city. I can go to New York, see a broadway play...but I know there are night clubs, strip clubs, and all kinds of illicit things there. I just don't partake of those things. I have no desire to.

My family wants to go there this year and we are all god-fearing, Christian women. We are all hardworking women that love to travel so we get on a plane and go whenever.

(Fair Warning: Vegas is full of casinos so better believe you'll walk into them all over the place but if you have no desire to gamble (I definitely don't, I like my money in my bank and not in theirs). On another note, I remember flyers for strip clubs all over the place at 16. It was creepy but I just ignored it and kept it moving.)

Quick question? Is it ok for a believer to go to Las Vegas? I want to go, just to go and have that experience as part of my love for traveling but I have no interest in gambling or even stepping through a casino (I have a video game addiction so I wouldn't be able to anyway) but is it ok and visit and just shopping, sight-see, and maybe catch a show (ok I can see that going to the the chippendales maybe out of the question).

 

[makeupgirl]

For me, yes. If you're not there for the illicit things and your heart is in the right place, enjoy. Man looks on the outside but God looks at the heart. I always remember that when I do anything. If my heart is in a not so good place, I'll stay home. If my heart is pure and the Lord does not convict me, I enjoy life and new/different places.

I went to Vegas when I was 16 (almost 10 years ago) and there are all kinds of things to do there. Think of it as just another city. I can go to New York, see a broadway play...but I know there are night clubs, strip clubs, and all kinds of illicit things there. I just don't partake of those things. I have no desire to.

My family wants to go there this year and we are all god-fearing, Christian women. We are all hardworking women that love to travel so we get on a plane and go whenever.

(Fair Warning: Vegas is full of casinos so better believe you'll walk into them all over the place but if you have no desire to gamble (I definitely don't, I like my money in my bank and not in theirs). On another note, I remember flyers for strip clubs all over the place at 16. It was creepy but I just ignored it and kept it moving.)

Thanks for the advice and tips. I'm hoping someone can go with me but I don't mind traveling solo, I'll stay out of trouble that way.

 

[JinaRicci]

^^^^I agree with some of your points and understand where you are coming from but I have to disagree with the premise that when we become Christians that you should cut yourself off from doing seemingly ungodly activities.

It appears spiritual and god-ward thinking that once you become a Christian you would do primarily Christian things. Go to Christian events. Have majority Christian friends, etc.

However, we are called to be the salt of the earth. We are called to be in the world but not of the world.

So if you never get to a place in your walk with God where you can be around sinners and not sin, you may want to question how deep your walk is with God?

This is not to say that you go to a club, lounge, happy hour and drink to your heart's content and expect to be the light of the world to unbelievers. But you go, you network, you let it be known your values are in Christ. Or you sleep at your boyfriends house. Or you go to Vegas and play the tables, etc. etc. If something or someone is out of line, you make a godly wisdom call on whether to speak up or leave.

This is a problem alot of unbeliever have with Christians. We get saved and we lose touch that we used to be just like them. Instead of helping them understand, we leave them to there own devices.

This would be difficult for a new Christian but for the veterans, your walk should be strong enough that you use wisdom when attending certain places.

I didn't say to cut yourself off from unbelievers or to only have Christian friends or attend Christian events. We both agree here that it would be contradictory to our purpose in spreading the gospel. It's also not how I live my life. What I did say was to let the Holy Spirit be your guide. And what exactly are 'seemingly ungodly activities'?

My point was: choose what activities you do without compromising your beliefs. You CAN build a good network and socialize with your coworkers without activities like happy hour. You CAN witness to your coworkers without attending happy hour. Why would you need to go, to not drink to be a witness? Couldn't you not go and say it's because you don't drink and still be a witness?

I think that is a deception from the most deceitful one that would have us believe that the only way to make it is by compromising what we stand for. We have examples set before us like Daniel and his 3 friends who refused to do so and came out on top. In my own life, I have seen God do wonderful things for me and through me every single time.

I think it's also a deception when we think our walk with God is so strong that we can go anywhere and be immune. I hear people use the argument all the time that going to places like that to SOCIALIZE allows you to stand out and be a witness and you should be strong enough to handle the temptations. Then using that rationale, there would be no limit to the places you couldn't or shouldn't go.