So get this...(really long sorry im venting)

[monie20032007]

First of all I posted a few months ago about me and my boyfriend breaking up. Ok so right now Im highly pissed! So he after beating it out of him he finally tells me who he is talkin to. She goes to my school so I begged me to tell me her name (I told him who I hang out with, so it was only right that I know) so i finally guessed her name. So we were talking and I asked when was her b-day. He was like no, you're going to get mad. I keep asking and i guessed that it was either my b-day or his b day and he says no to both. After doing some research, I find out they have the same b-day!!! What a match made in heaven right? NOT And while im up here writing you girls he's out on a date with her and her friend's boyfriend. How, cute a double date. Yes i still have feelings for him, but it just wouldnt work out because of my beliefs. I just cant believe he has moved on so quickly. We still talk occasionally but when we do, its always me questioning him about the girl he's talkin to. Come on 3.5 years? heck yeah I want some answers after all we been through. And another thing! I texted him one time and he texted me back at the ends saying he ran out of texts. I know it was on her and he gonna try to deny it! puh! im not stupid, i keep tellin him that.

P.S. The guy I hang out with, he knows, and we are strickly FRIENDS, but the girl he hangs out with have the potential to be more.
P.S. again: He doesnt know I found out who she was shhh

 

[fattyfatfat]

sorry this happened to you Monie. Men dont have feelings or think about relationships like women. Please try to move on and heal.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I know it's going to be hard for you, but if the relationship is over between you and him you are going to have to move on...and stop asking him about his personal life. It is NOT your business anymore...even if you all were together for 3.5 years. I know you want to know who is taking your spot now...I get that...it's human nature. But it really does you more harm than good...and you're doing a little too much (borderline obsessive behavior, hun). Take the time to mourn the end of your relationship with him (it's okay to do so, you guys were together for a long time)...but like he is already starting to do, you have got to move on. At least make the attempts to do so, even though it won't be easy. But you can do it. And I'm not trying to say this to be dramatic or funny...but for real, please take a step back before you move into stalker territory.

 

[monie20032007]

I know it's going to be hard for you, but if the relationship is over between you and him you are going to have to move on...and stop asking him about his personal life. It is NOT your business anymore...even if you all were together for 3.5 years. I know you want to know who is taking your spot now...I get that...it's human nature. But it really does you more harm than good...and you're doing a little too much (borderline obsessive behavior, hun). Take the time to mourn the end of your relationship with him (it's okay to do so, you guys were together for a long time)...but like he is already starting to do, you have got to move on. At least make the attempts to do so, even though it won't be easy. But you can do it. And I'm not trying to say this to be dramatic or funny...but for real, please take a step back before you move into stalker territory.

You're right. I am going to stop asking because it just hurts too much to find out anything else. i guess it will just take some time but its just like damn, its like that now? like he used to always say that I would be the first to start back hanging out seriously w/someone else but now its him. But Also, the only reason why I would ask him about stuff was because he used to ask me, so I thought it was only fair for me to ask him stuff as well, but anyways... yea im through w/ worrying about what he does. Im just ready for this phase to be over with.

 

[Cincysweetie]

You're right. I am going to stop asking because it just hurts too much to find out anything else. i guess it will just take some time but its just like damn, its like that now? like he used to always say that I would be the first to start back hanging out seriously w/someone else but now its him. But Also, the only reason why I would ask him about stuff was because he used to ask me, so I thought it was only fair for me to ask him stuff as well, but anyways... yea im through w/ worrying about what he does. Im just ready for this phase to be over with.

Do you think maybe it's bothering you b/c you don't have someone else? But he does? I've felt that way before. And that's natural too, ya know. It's okay to feel the way that you are feeling and totally normal. It's okay to hurt, but it's not okay to do things that are only going to make you hurt more. You are gonna have to make the attempt to move on...and I think you will find that it will be hard, but in time you will be okay and you will be able to move on. This too shall pass!

 

[monie20032007]

Do you think maybe it's bothering you b/c you don't have someone else? But he does? I've felt that way before. And that's natural too, ya know. It's okay to feel the way that you are feeling and totally normal. It's okay to hurt, but it's not okay to do things that are only going to make you hurt more. You are gonna have to make the attempt to move on...and I think you will find that it will be hard, but in time you will be okay and you will be able to move on. This too shall pass!

yea I think that has a lot to do w/ that. And Im mad at the fact that he said that I made myself undatable because I chose to save myself for marriage. So it will be really hard to find someone who truly respects that and who is my type. It just seems like it will be forevererplexed

 

[sky_blu]

For the life of me I cant figure out how guys can move on so easily either but they do. I would advise you to go cold turkey and cut off all communication with him. And really just avoid him no matter how much you think about him. I want answers too but I know I'll never get them or hear what I want to hear so I just deal with it. Even if he gave you an answer its probably not something you want to hear anyway. He sounds like an arse, let him go.

 

[Cincysweetie]

yea I think that has a lot to do w/ that. And Im mad at the fact that he said that I made myself undatable because I chose to save myself for marriage. So it will be really hard to find someone who truly respects that and who is my type. It just seems like it will be forevererplexed

Please don't believe that. You WILL meet someone that will be respectful of your decision to save yourself until marriage and you are not "undatable". That's an ******* comment if I ever heard one.

 

[monie20032007]

For the life of me I cant figure out how guys can move on so easily either but they do. I would advise you to go cold turkey and cut off all communication with him. And really just avoid him no matter how much you think about him. I want answers too but I know I'll never get them or hear what I want to hear so I just deal with it. Even if he gave you an answer its probably not something you want to hear anyway. He sounds like an arse, let him go.

He really isnt a bad person by any means, but when I told him i was serious about saving myself until marriage, everything went down hill because we had done stuff (not sex) before and then I wanted to stop that too so... I guess I wasnt doing enough to keep him around, but I didnt think it would cause the relationship to end but oh well, i cant do anything now. Thanks for your advice it is much appreciated

 

[Cincysweetie]

He really isnt a bad person by any means, but when I told him i was serious about saving myself until marriage, everything went down hill because we had done stuff (not sex) before and then I wanted to stop that too so... I guess I wasnt doing enough to keep him around, but I didnt think it would cause the relationship to end but oh well, i cant do anything now. Thanks for your advice it is much appreciated

You'll make it through, hun!

 

[monie20032007]

You'll make it through, hun!

Thank you, you're such a big help!!

 

[jrae]

Monie, save yourself for someone who appreciates you, as a gift that's worth waiting for.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Okay so were we dating the same guy?

I know the feeling. My last heartbreak broke up with me and had a new girl not even 2 weeks later. He took HER to the wedding I was invited to, and he threw HER a big birthday bash when my own birthday was crap. So you better believe that hurt!

BUT what really helped me was when HE stopped talking to me. One day he cut off ALL contact with me. It hurt, but it made me realize that the only way I was going to get over him was to STOP TALKING TO HIM! Cut off all contact NOW, or you will only prolong the hurt. It's over and it's time to move on. He has.

I didn't have sex with my ex either. He said that played a part in the breakup. After the breakup I told him that I'm saving myself for marriage. He told me "Good luck finding a man who will wait!" He's a *******. And that won't be too hard. A REAL MAN who really cares about you will wait. A boy won't. Simple as that.

So I moved on, started to enjoy single life, and gained some insight. Now I'm completely over him. He and that girl are no longer together. He's still the same way and now that I'm detached from him I can see why it's good we are no longer together. He is quite below my standards!

It hurts when you feel like someone has replaced you so quickly. But you can't keep your mind on that. The best revenge is living well. Keep your head up and LIVE WELL!

 

[Princess4real]

I know it's going to be hard for you, but if the relationship is over between you and him you are going to have to move on...and stop asking him about his personal life. It is NOT your business anymore...even if you all were together for 3.5 years. I know you want to know who is taking your spot now...I get that...it's human nature. But it really does you more harm than good...and you're doing a little too much (borderline obsessive behavior, hun). Take the time to mourn the end of your relationship with him (it's okay to do so, you guys were together for a long time)...but like he is already starting to do, you have got to move on. At least make the attempts to do so, even though it won't be easy. But you can do it. And I'm not trying to say this to be dramatic or funny...but for real, please take a step back before you move into stalker territory.

Good advice.

 

[Bunny77]

I can understand your hurt, but I agree with what everyone else is saying.

Stop talking to him.

You are just playing yourself and making yourself look bad by asking him all the time if he's talking to other girls. Y'all are over... it's really none of your business just like it's none of his business whether you're talking to others. None of this would be a problem though if you two didn't keep acting like you still have a relationship tie because neither of you should be questioning who each other is dating since he made the decision to break up with you.

Don't go out like that... you're better than that and you're above having to see if he's found some other girl or not.

He left you, now you need to leave him emotionally and move on.

 

[monie20032007]

Okay so were we dating the same guy?

I know the feeling. My last heartbreak broke up with me and had a new girl not even 2 weeks later. He took HER to the wedding I was invited to, and he threw HER a big birthday bash when my own birthday was crap. So you better believe that hurt!

BUT what really helped me was when HE stopped talking to me. One day he cut off ALL contact with me. It hurt, but it made me realize that the only way I was going to get over him was to STOP TALKING TO HIM! Cut off all contact NOW, or you will only prolong the hurt. It's over and it's time to move on. He has.

I didn't have sex with my ex either. He said that played a part in the breakup. After the breakup I told him that I'm saving myself for marriage. He told me "Good luck finding a man who will wait!" He's a *******. And that won't be too hard. A REAL MAN who really cares about you will wait. A boy won't. Simple as that.

So I moved on, started to enjoy single life, and gained some insight. Now I'm completely over him. He and that girl are no longer together. He's still the same way and now that I'm detached from him I can see why it's good we are no longer together. He is quite below my standards!

It hurts when you feel like someone has replaced you so quickly. But you can't keep your mind on that. The best revenge is living well. Keep your head up and LIVE WELL!

Thank you sooo much! it really help to know you went through the same thing

 

[Glitter]

Uhm. Come to my area - I've met several guys in the past 2 months (about 3 or 4 dudes) who have said they are waiting for marriage. I'll give you the hookup.

Also, maybe you should try to go to events where people are more likely to share your same beliefs. Have you tried going to church-related functions? Maybe going to another church's event will allow you to meet more people and find men more suitable for you.

yea I think that has a lot to do w/ that. And Im mad at the fact that he said that I made myself undatable because I chose to save myself for marriage. So it will be really hard to find someone who truly respects that and who is my type. It just seems like it will be forevererplexed

 

[Bunny77]

Uhm. Come to my area - I've met several guys in the past 2 months (about 3 or 4 dudes) who have said they are waiting for marriage. I'll give you the hookup.

Also, maybe you should try to go to events where people are more likely to share your same beliefs. Have you tried going to church-related functions? Maybe going to another church's event will allow you to meet more people and find men more suitable for you.

Those are good ideas! And I know of women who have found men who are willing to wait, and lo and behold, those men did! One of my girls just gave birth to a baby boy... she and her husband were abstinent for four years before getting married.

So those men are out there... you'll be alright.

 

[tarheelgurl]

It isn't your business who he is dating now even if you still have feelings for him. You won't be able to move on if you continue trying to keep up with what he is doing. So, try not to be so interested in what he is doing. You will find another guy, but its not the end of the world to be without one for a little while.

 

[locabouthair]

monie, i think you need to avoid contact with him because it's just causing you pain. (((((HUGS)))))