so close but so far away it seems (venting)

[FineChyna]

I feel like i am so close to my hair goal but so darn far away. is hair growth really just genetics?

I am natural and have been so about 6 years. the goal i picked was armpit length because that seemed attainable but as the years go by my hair is just hovering around APL and never really touching it or getting past it.

its soooooooooo frustrating to me. i've tried everything (vitamins, babying my hair, dusting more often, deep conditioning every week, using less heat) and my hair seems like it is just stuck where is is at

then what makes matters worse is that there is a woman at my job who has long, beautiful hair and she barely does anything to it and it grows like a weed. she perms, gets roller sets weekly, doesn't do protective styles and has bra strap length hair and her hair just gets longer and longer. she doesn't even take hair vitamins

so here i feel like a dingbat cause i am hiding my hair under wigs, hair peices to keep the moisture in, moisturizing, deep conditioning, using heat protectant and so on and so forth and my hair is just.....stuck

granted everyone's hair is different and i do realize not everyone struggles with their hair but i am just beside myself. when is my hair gonna get longer?

secondly i have been wearing protective styles so long i am starting to wonder what the point is since my hair doesn't seem to be getting longer and secondly i have hair but i feel like i am always "hiding" it under a "hat" (to me a wig is like a hat since my hair is so thick).

some people on here may ask why do i want such long hair-well in order to wear natural styles (like wash in goes and so forth) my hair needs to be heavy since my hair shrinks horrible no matter what i put in it and how i do it. my hair could be slighly past my shoulder wet and when it dries it shrinks up near my cheeks which doesn't flatter my face shape whatsoever even with a head band pulling it back. so i figured everything would be fine when my hair gets longer. well since it isn't getting longer that nixes that idea

i just don't know what to do, seriously. i know some people are reading this like erplexed but i am really just depressed over the issue, any help would be appreciated. are their signs with my hair i am missing? is there something else i can use in my hair?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

You have been growing your hair for 6 years and you haven't hit apl yet? Seems like you should have hit it by now. Are you cutting your hair on a regular basis? If not, maybe something in your daily regimen is causing you to not retain all your length.

Also, you mention you are natural, do you want apl when yourhair is in it's natural state? That may take a loooooong time if your hair is anything like mine. Even though i am a little beyond shoulder length, when my hair is in it's natural state it is only to my ears due to shrinkage. How long is your hair when stretched?

 

[trini_rican]

Have you tried switching up your routine? I'm a newbie but maybe you've done the same routine so long your hair is at plateau. Think of exercising you have to switch up your routine when you reach a plateau. You can do it. Try not to compare your success to someone elses - you'll just end up angry and feeling inadequate. Focus on the positives that have occurred to date with your hair care. Try finding old photos - even from when you were a kid and compare it to now - it'll shine some light on how far you've come. Finally, a lot of people here have hair anorexia -you may be further along then you think. Post a before and after. HTHs hhg.

 

[FineChyna]

You have been growing your hair for 6 years and you haven't hit apl yet? Seems like you should have hit it by now. Are you cutting your hair on a regular basis? If not, maybe something in your daily regimen is causing you to not retain all your length.

Also, you mention you are natural, do you want apl when yourhair is in it's natural state? That may take a loooooong time if your hair is anything like mine. Even though i am a little beyond shoulder length, when my hair is in it's natural state it is only to my ears due to shrinkage. How long is your hair when stretched?

well i transitioned for awhile and had some issues with breakage(i was in college when i started so i couldn't realy invest $ in my hair) but the last 2 years should have been golden and i should have been APL

when it is stretched the back is near APL and the top is maybe an inch or 2 shorter

i am natural but i would be satisfied with APL when straight. APL natural is a goal that seems really too far away right now.

 

[FineChyna]

Have you tried switching up your routine? I'm a newbie but maybe you've done the same routine so long your hair is at plateau. Think of exercising you have to switch up your routine when you reach a plateau. You can do it. Try not to compare your success to someone elses - you'll just end up angry and feeling inadequate. Focus on the positives that have occurred to date with your hair care. Try finding old photos - even from when you were a kid and compare it to now - it'll shine some light on how far you've come. Finally, a lot of people here have hair anorexia -you may be further along then you think. Post a before and after. HTHs hhg.

i have changed shampoos throughout the years but for the past year i have been using the same shamp/cond. i tried a lot of mositurizers especially this year but only CD's HHB seems to work. i also started doing a deep conditioner every week to try and combat dryness and that has helped somewhat. i even started using boundless tresses which gave me a quick surge of growth but now doesn't seem to work as great since i am not using it daily

i really try and not compare my hair but this is something that has been really bothering me for the past 2 weeks when i was looking at my hair

 

[remnant]

Do you cowash?
When did you REALLY become serious with haircare?
I ask because i'm natural since 2001 but I got REALLY SERIOUS with hair care in 2005 and in 2005 my hair was only shoulder lenght and from 2001 to 2005 i only wear protective style also and didn't cut/trim my hair(so in 4 years my hair grew from TWA to shoulder lenght only)!
When I prayed and got serious with haircare my hair grew from SL to BSL(now)
Thank you Jesus!

 

[FineChyna]

Do you cowash?
When did you REALLY become serious with haircare?
I ask because i'm natural since 2001 but I got REALLY SERIOUS with hair care in 2005 and in 2005 my hair was only shoulder lenght and from 2001 to 2005 i only wear protective style also and didn't cut/trim my hair(so in 4 years my hair grew from TWA to shoulder lenght only)!
When I prayed and got serious with haircare my hair grew from SL to BSL(now)
Thank you Jesus!

i tried co washing but it seemed like my hair didn't like it. it seems to like conditioning shampoo and conditioner.

as for getting serious about my hair i would say late '04 when i graduated from college and was finally lucky enough to find a job.


is there any threads that i can look at/questions i should ask myself to get new ideas about what i should do next?

 

[remnant]

Here's a link:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=126770&highlight=baggying+support
HTH

 

[almondjoi85]

I'm frustrated too because I expected so much growth. i just came home from getting a relaxer and there's hardly any! I'm upset but I just put my hair up and I'm not looking at it again. We are not on speaking terms. haha