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So A Big Beautiful Afro=Unkempt? Huh...
- Thread starter drmuffin
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drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I am finding it a little on the wild side as it grows out. If I'm having a "no gel" day then it's fluffy and uneven...but certainly not "unkempt!"
(learning to laugh at myself as I go along...)
shunemite
New Member
OP I'm sorry that he said that to you. I wish the world was more supportive of natural black hair. Hopefully in due time with more and more people going natural it won't be such a big issue in the future as more people of other races are more aware of our hair.
Having said that, I am disappointed that you included his sexual orientation in the description of the person. I would have preferred if you had just let us know he was white so we could understand that ok, he's not black so he doesn't understand afros. The gay comment to me was kind of extra and I do not like to attack a person based on sexual orientation. I think the guy is a young gay male and he undergoes a lot of discrimination for who he is as it is. For example if I came on here talking about a fellow coworker who didn't like natural hair and I described him as a "black Muslim" the Muslim comment would be considered extra.
Having said that, I am disappointed that you included his sexual orientation in the description of the person. I would have preferred if you had just let us know he was white so we could understand that ok, he's not black so he doesn't understand afros. The gay comment to me was kind of extra and I do not like to attack a person based on sexual orientation. I think the guy is a young gay male and he undergoes a lot of discrimination for who he is as it is. For example if I came on here talking about a fellow coworker who didn't like natural hair and I described him as a "black Muslim" the Muslim comment would be considered extra.
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Omg not this again...Check my explanation a few posts earlier...
shunemite
New Member
I did, and I don't think you hate gay people. I also didn't like his comment about the afros. I just didn't think mentioning his sexual orientation had anything to do with what he said. I don't think you wrote it to offend him or belittle him at all, I just didn't think it was necessary. You mentioned the two of you are good friends? Maybe you can show him the post and see what he has to say.
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Look y'all here's the deal...
This thread is NOT about his sexual orientation, but everyone's being so dang sensitive about it. So let's just pretend that I never mentioned it, OK? And if you are offended by it I'm sorry, I truly am, but there is the back button at the top of your web browser and feel free to utilize it whenever you want and keep it moving.
IF ANYTHING, me mentioning that he was gay was more of a compliment because to me gays and lesbians are MUCH MORE liberal and accepting of other people and how they choose to present themselves and how other people live their lives (a.k.a. the lady fro-ing it up and not having a care in the world). And certainly don't judge one another simply because of the judgment that they may live through. And to me they've always been much nicer than straight people!
BUT LIKE I SAID, it ain't about him, it's about me!
WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS, DAMMIT?!
This thread is NOT about his sexual orientation, but everyone's being so dang sensitive about it. So let's just pretend that I never mentioned it, OK?
And if you are offended by it I'm sorry, I truly am, but there is the back button at the top of your web browser and feel free to utilize it whenever you want and keep it moving.IF ANYTHING, me mentioning that he was gay was more of a compliment because to me gays and lesbians are MUCH MORE liberal and accepting of other people and how they choose to present themselves and how other people live their lives (a.k.a. the lady fro-ing it up and not having a care in the world). And certainly don't judge one another simply because of the judgment that they may live through. And to me they've always been much nicer than straight people!
BUT LIKE I SAID, it ain't about him, it's about me!WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS, DAMMIT?!
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drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Nah I don't think its that serious...
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Actually if you were to post something similar to that and described him as a black muslim, that would give me better insight as to who this is as a person and what his mindset is. And I wouldn't take offense to it. It's just details. Details help the story along.
I'm a very detail-oriented person. The more details I get/give, the better I am at understanding/explaining the situation. I'm a storyteller by nature.
Iluvsmuhgrass
Well-Known Member
I got what you were saying OP and I would have felt "some kind of way" about it too.
When my sister swears that going natural is awesome, then turns around and says that this lil kid had the nappiest hair she's ever seen (in a really bad way).... she gets the equivalent side eye that I would have given to your friend. Sad to say, there are alot of people that feel that way.
When my sister swears that going natural is awesome, then turns around and says that this lil kid had the nappiest hair she's ever seen (in a really bad way).... she gets the equivalent side eye that I would have given to your friend. Sad to say, there are alot of people that feel that way.
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
Well... Since y'all are already talking about gay white males.. All my gay white male friends luh my natural hair, especially when it looks like I hopped out the bed and left the house. Those are the days when I get the most compliments.. Granted, they could be trying to be funny... 
Those are the days when I get the most compliments.. Granted, they could be trying to be funny... 
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
You are going to have to develop thick skin. If this made you mad, and it wasn't your hair hair, how will you react when it is? It's just that way. People all don't think the same as far as natural styles go or the way its styled. Maybe a person who is natural is able to rock the beautiful big fro, but another feels differently and heat styles her fro strait. This is just an example of how people's opinion may differ. Most of my white male friends prefer natural hair and my hubby loves it. One man's opinion doesn't break or make you. Please don't let it ruin your day.
It's just that way. People all don't think the same as far as natural styles go or the way its styled. Maybe a person who is natural is able to rock the beautiful big fro, but another feels differently and heat styles her fro strait. This is just an example of how people's opinion may differ. Most of my white male friends prefer natural hair and my hubby loves it. One man's opinion doesn't break or make you. Please don't let it ruin your day.
EllePixie
New Member
bride91501
Well-Known Member
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
I dern near died watching that! It's early in the morning so I'm still half-asleep and can't get a full laugh out but omg
That was my first time seeing that too!!
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
You are going to have to develop thick skin. If this made you mad, and it wasn't your hair hair, how will you react when it is?
I'm really not "mad," it's just one of the smh moments. Yeah, I was upset at the time, but it's actually funny now! I'm a pretty tough individual, both physically and mentally and nothing really surprises me nowadays. Oh, and I've already said when it's my time to rock it, it's definitely being rocked!
Anyone who has a problem can go to heck! They can go to heck and they die! (trying to quote Mr. Garrison)Trust, this isn't going to ruin my day. What will is the bad little chillens that I have to teach today!
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drmuffin
Well-Known Member
Aw why you had to bring Mike into this? He ain't do nothing wrong!
When talking to my natural friends even they have this opinion sometimes and I have seen this on here as well but is it wrong because of who said it to you? Not trying to be rude or anything but I just want to be clear on the issue. And the gay thing, I dont think anyone has a problem that he's gay; its just that people go out of there way to mention someone is gay versus if the person was straight. I know heterosexuals are the majority of the population but you just never hear "well this straight white male did/said blah blah blah.........." so when people point out homosexuals it just seems like there had to be an underlying reasoning behind it.
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
I never said anyone has a problem with him being gay but there seems to be a problem with me mentioning that he is gay. Which isn't even an issue to begin with.
Well there are several explanations as to why I did it so look through some older posts and you may find what you need. The most important being the one when I said that gays are more liberal and accepting than other folks I come across and would more likely to be less judgemental of someone like that lady rocking the big fro...but it's whatever. I'm done explaining myself.
Like EllePixie posted before: Jesus take the wheel!
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Its not that serious to me really. An opinion is an opinion. And I never asked for an explanation at all. You have a blessed day.
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
You have a blessed day as well. We all need some blessings nowadays!
Really? Its too early I cant deal.
drmuffin
Well-Known Member
lovenharmony
ET / OT Bonafide Member
Well, I can only speak for myself, but as a whole I can understand that mentioning his sexual orientation might have an affect as to the reasoning behind his comment regarding the lady's afro as being 'unkempt'. Now I am not saying this is true for all gay white males, but generally speaking, the gay white male population has a reputation for being racist against black people, especially the gay black male community. The OP stated that his comment was said with disgust, as if he was angry that the lady was wearing that hairstyle. The afro is the one hairstyle that represents black beauty and power (unity).
I reiterate, I am not saying that the gay white male the OP was referring to is a racist, but I can understand that mentioning his sexual preferance would bring light a possible reason behind his disgust for her particular hairstyle.
And before anyone mentions that he couldn't possibly be a racist because the OP is black and they're friends, there are many elements of racism that a person can possess. Being racist does not mean they all want to join the KKK or dislike black people.
I don't see why mentioning his sexual preference would make people so up in arms in the first place. When I first read the initial post, I didn't focus on him being gay, but since it keeps on being brought up, I thought I'd share another reason why it may be of some significance.
