We didn't have the good hair/bad hair inside our house. There are 3 girls in my family (no boys, except for my dad), and I am the middle. Both of my sisters have curlier hair than mine. My older sister's hair can grow past brastrap. When she was young, her hair was very long. She wears it at brastrap, and can cut it as short as she wants, and it always grows back. She relaxes it, so I'm not sure what texture it is, but I would guess 3c/4a (from her childhood, adolescent years, when it wasn't permed). My younger sister has 3b/3c hair and doesn't relax at all. In another post, I explained that people always ask us "what" we are. They assume my older sister has Indian (i.e. Native American) because of her hair, and they also think my younger sister is Puerto Rican/Latina, because of her hair. I have kinky textured hair (I think 4a/4b, maybe 4b, I can't quite figure it out). My dad has softer hair, my mothers is kinkier, like mine.
Even though my mother always told us that there is no such thing as "good hair/bad hair," and that we all have good hair, I admit that I used to feel insecure about the fact that my hair didn't seem to grow like my sisters. It was harder being sandwiched between 2 people who thought I was worrying for nothing. When we would get our hair done, they could always get a variety of styles, but my hair was shorter, and I would usually get the same bob style. Furthermore, most of the people in my extended family (cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles) have finer textured hair, so that also added to the complex (some made comments about my hair, others didn't). Like someone said earlier, my mother always came to my defense, but it didn't always matter. I usually kept my feelings to myself, because my mother or sisters would always say "everyone has good hair," but inside, I didn't like my hair.
It's been a blessing for me to find this website, because I have learned how to take care of my hair for health purposes, not just to alter the texture, or grow it superlong. If it's meant to be long, it will be, if not, I accept myself as is.
Last, there are enough problems to worry about in the world, and it's a shame that we spend so much time hating/comparing ourselves. I've really dealt with my hair issues, and I wish society placed more emphasis on showing women of all hair types (not just silky textured) how to actually take care of their hair. That would do more for most people, and ultimately, most of us could have the long hair we desire.
Sorry for the sermon, but I needed to get this off my chest!
Cocoberry10