Should you get ALL new underwear when moving from one relationship to the next?

S

slimting

New Member
When going from one longterm relationship to the next possible longterm relationship, is it appropriate to clean out your underwear/lingerie drawer?

I ask because my bf mentioned that having the lingerie there remonds him I had another before him. I did get rid of the nightgowns only because I didn't have a lot of them but I didn't go out and buy a whole new set of bras and panties just because it would be too expensive at this point in my life.

Should I replace my underwear? Would that be the appropriate thing to do? Does anyone else do this when they get into a longterm relationship?

TIA
 
WTF? No. Your bf sounds insecure and controlling IMO. For someone like me, bras are expensive and i ccant throw then out at the end of every relationship and shell out money to buy new ones. Tell him to go buy then for you if he has a problem with it.
 
Is he replacing all of his underwear since I assume that he was involved with other women when he had that on?

If he's gonna go first with cleaning out his underwear drawer, then you can follow. If not, tell him to kick rocks and shut the heck up! :D

Or tell him that he just won't be getting any from you since he's so bugged by your underwear/lingerie since you don't want him to be upset and all... :evil: Bet he'll shut up REAL quick.
 
slimting said:
When going from one longterm relationship to the next possible longterm relationship, is it appropriate to clean out your underwear/lingerie drawer?

I ask because my bf mentioned that having the lingerie there remonds him I had another before him. I did get rid of the nightgowns only because I didn't have a lot of them but I didn't go out and buy a whole new set of bras and panties just because it would be too expensive at this point in my life.

Should I replace my underwear? Would that be the appropriate thing to do? Does anyone else do this when they get into a longterm relationship?

TIA
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And by the way, I have NEVER heard of anyone asking anything this ridiculous before. (not you, your BF).

I've never heard of anyone doing this and I've never heard of a man asking a woman to do this. You shouldn't have even gotten rid of the nightgowns...

Now, if you really want to do this though, then HE should offer to buy you ALL NEW bras, PJs and panties. Is he offering that???
 
Bunny77 said:
And by the way, I have NEVER heard of anyone asking anything this ridiculous before. (not you, your BF).

I've never heard of anyone doing this and I've never heard of a man asking a woman to do this. You shouldn't have even gotten rid of the nightgowns...

Now, if you really want to do this though, then HE should offer to buy you ALL NEW bras, PJs and panties. Is he offering that???
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It doesn't sound like the boyfriend asked her to get rid of her old lingerie, he said the lingerie reminds him that there was someone else before him. That I can understand, especially with the super sexy ones that you just know are being worn for that special someone.

Slimting, I wouldn't get rid of the lingerie unless you want to. Everyone has a past and as long as you and your boyfriend are both focusing on this relationship, neither of you should feel insecure about the others past (often easier said than done, but you get what I mean).
 
special_k said:
It doesn't sound like the boyfriend asked her to get rid of her old lingerie, he said the lingerie reminds him that there was someone else before him. That I can understand, especially with the super sexy ones that you just know are being worn for that special someone.

Slimting, I wouldn't get rid of the lingerie unless you want to. Everyone has a past and as long as you and your boyfriend are both focusing on this relationship, neither of you should feel insecure about the others past (often easier said than done, but you get what I mean).
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Okay, I guess Slimting would have to clarify whether he asked her to get rid of the lingerie or if he just made that statement and she chose to do it on her own. Good point.

I will say this though... like you said, she shouldn't get rid of it unless SHE wants to... if ole boy didn't want to be reminded that she had past relationships, then he should get with a virgin so he won't have to worry about who somebody wore some lingerie for back in the day...

And I STILL say that if this is how he feels, then he should also volunteer to get all new draws/underwear as well since I'm sure he has also had past lovers before he got with Slimting. But I BET my bank account that he hasn't once made a suggestion like that...
 
I can understand him not liking the thought of sexy lingerie. I wouldn't toss the regular bras and panties unless I just wanted some new ones. I had a bf that had partially used bottles of massage oil at the head of his bed and I hated the thought of him using it on other women. I actually bought a new bed when I entered my last relationship...it felt good to do. Sometimes clearing old energy is needed.
 
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Ok...i agree with everyone about not throwing out the undies....BUT I think lingerie should probably be thrown out (e.g. crotchless panties, teddies, etc.) along with half used bottle of massage lotion and so forth....and he should do the same (old photos, massage lotion, etc.) JMO
 
This is quite ridiculous:perplexed The answer is NO! Unless he plans on wearing your underwear, I don't understand his problem
 
LOL, hymen surgery.

Regular everyday bras and panties he was like whatever, but the victoria secret nightgowns and sexy bras/thongs he was like no thank you ma'am. I don't buy sexy underwear on a regular basis, so he knew I bought them to entertain in. I just thought it was weird that he even thought I should get rid of them. From reading other posts it seems like many of the women on this board are all about cultivating their relationships with their men so that no one is disrespected, so I wanted to know how many women do this, is this normal. (I haven't had many longterm relationships so I didn't know)
 
I guess I wasn't clear. Should you throw out all of your pretty, man enticing underwear when you go from one relationship to the next?

I would never throw out my grandma/going to work panties.
 
I have so many sexy lingerie in my closet and i never wear them. I might have bought with a guy in mind though. The last time i did wear one, the ex bought it and i left it at his place so i wouldnt throw away any of my lingerie away for a man.
 
slimting said:
I guess I wasn't clear. Should you throw out all of your pretty, man enticing underwear when you go from one relationship to the next?
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Me, I say no, unless it's something you want to do for yourself.

Plus, I was just thinking, if I happened to start up a relationship right now, how would my man know what underwear I "might" have worn in the past for a previous boyfriend versus stuff I've never worn before for a man? I mean, how does he know what you wore or didn't wear?

I've bought some sexy lingerie/underwear just on my own (like the limited edition Victoria's Secret stuff) and thought to myself that it would be nice to wear in the future for a man when I got one. So really, how does your SO know what you have or have not worn and for whom?

It just sounds too controlling to me. And I haven't been in a lot of longterm relationships, but I've never had a man make that statement or heard men just talking in general about it.

(And you still never said if he felt the same way about his OWN underwear.... ;))
 
Sorry,

I don't think he considers boxers to be in the same category as nighties. Some how he is always ripping holes in them, so if asked him to get rid of them i think he would. I'll ask and see and post later tonight.

I usually sleep in pajama sets since I'm always cold and live alone, so he knows the only reason I have pretty nightgowns was because I had a bf sleepover.

He wasn't mad and demanding about it, but he suggested that I didn't need to have them anymore since they weren't bought specifically for him. He didn't request that I get rid of my other gifts though only them underwear.
 
Hmm, maybe its because he is older and latin. Because he also couldn't quite understand why I would get dressed up and still wear tight jeans when he wasn't around. I was like because I dressed like this before i met you and I like it. He felt that when you get past a certain point in a relationship you don't put yourself out there like you did when you were single.

hmmmmmmmmmm...........things to discuss with him.

Thanks Ladies!
 
sunbasque said:
WTF? No. Your bf sounds insecure and controlling IMO. For someone like me, bras are expensive and i ccant throw then out at the end of every relationship and shell out money to buy new ones. Tell him to go buy then for you if he has a problem with it.
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I agree, love your sig.

I think your bf is seriously bugging. NOw if you had whips and chains and some sex toys, I could see how he would want you to replace them but some underwear???:perplexed
 
slimting said:
Hmm, maybe its because he is older and latin. Because he also couldn't quite understand why I would get dressed up and still wearwhen he wasn't around. I was like because I dressed like this before i met you and I like it. He felt that when you get past a certain point in a relationship you don't put yourself out there like you did when you were single. tight jeans

hmmmmmmmmmm...........things to discuss with him.

Thanks Ladies!
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Ok, he might be great and I could quite possibly be reading this wrong but that's how a lot of controlling guys start off. They usually want you to change the way you dress even if it was the way you dressed when they got with you in the first place.
 
NYAmicas said:
Ok, he might be great and I could quite possibly be reading this wrong but that's how a lot of controlling guys start off. They usually want you to change the way you dress even if it was the way you dressed when they got with you in the first place.
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I have to agree with NYA on this one. Obviously we are not in the relationship with you so we dont know what goes on day in day out but just watch out for the subtle things.

Speaking generally...some might say if you loved/cared for/respected them you'd change but I disagree. If he thought you were good enough when he got with you, why should he want you to change. And that goes both ways, for men trying to change their women and women trying to change their men.
 
Agreed with the majority BUT I want to know want to know what did you do?? I wouldnt buy new underwear unless I wanted some new ones. It does get expensive, did he plan on replacing all of your lingerie with his money?? Then I would consider it.
 
slimting said:
When going from one longterm relationship to the next possible longterm relationship, is it appropriate to clean out your underwear/lingerie drawer?

I ask because my bf mentioned that having the lingerie there remonds him I had another before him. I did get rid of the nightgowns only because I didn't have a lot of them but I didn't go out and buy a whole new set of bras and panties just because it would be too expensive at this point in my life.

Should I replace my underwear? Would that be the appropriate thing to do? Does anyone else do this when they get into a longterm relationship?

TIA
Click to expand...

I haven't read the rest of the responses yet but if your boyfriend want you to get rid of your old lingerie then he needs to pay for some new ones. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
slimting said:
I guess I wasn't clear. Should you throw out all of your pretty, man enticing underwear when you go from one relationship to the next?

I would never throw out my grandma/going to work panties.
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If he was your husband then I'd say YES :yep: but for just a boyfriend? HELL NAW!!! :nono:
 
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