Ayesha81
Well-Known Member
Hi ladies, this is long one but I have to get this off my chest:
I knew of this guy on and off for 4 years when I would visit my cousin in New York. I had once told my cousin way back that I was interested in him. But it was not that serious. And the truth is I forgot all about him. Out of the blue he calls my cousin saying that he wants to talk to me. This is 4 years later. Anyway within a month he told me that he is not a US citizen(jamaican). He's 25 years old and has been here for about 7 years. Mind you when he told me this I overlooked it because he is known as very quiet, genuine, nice and helpful. He is actually a house rat and rarely has girlfriends. We spent several months talking on the phone every day, texting, he even sent me flowers. He opened up to me about his low self-esteem and depression and how he wishes he tried to talk to me years earlier. So we finally decided to to meet up. So anyway I go to NY for a 3 day weekend. It was nothing like I expected.
He kept on saying things like how in the next couple of years were going to have a BMW. And the technical school he goes to will land him a job that pays really well. When I went over his place (dont worry ladies, I did not sleep with him-THANK GOD) he told me that he has credit card bills and student loans to pay( he had a fake social security number) and he was thinking of us getting married in a month. He had a job but he quit about a year ago. And that SS# doesnt work anymore so he cant get a job. Anyway I never repsonded to him. And I should have let him know right there.
After I left New York he didnt call me for a little over a week. Then he finally calls me and asks me is there any chapels in maryland? He started saying that I am too nice and easy. And that he knows what he needs to know. He started putting me down and trying to make me feel insecure. He was being so disrepectful. I just couldnt understand where all this is coming from. I even invited him to a ski trip and he acted like he didnt even care, he asked me do I have money to go and to stay at a hotel (yeah I have the money, why would i be going if I didnt) So anyway the conversation was short. Once again I ignored him.
Anyway he calls me a few days later with an attitude and says I dont want u to feel bad but my mother wants me to marry her friend's daughter and that if he does it,its going to be for the long run. And he always wanted to marry fo love. And I will lose him.
I could not believe this was the same nice guy that I was talking on the phone with every day. And here he is manipulating me. I finally told him that I am not ready for marriage and do not expect to get married like this, I want to be engaged and actually have a wedding with family and friends. He realized I was upset and then had the nerve to ask me are we still bf and gf. I told him no. And that was our last conversation.
I was so upset and hurt I sent him this email and basically told him off- and let it be known that all he wanted was a greencard. I made sure he felt like the **** that he is. So anyway I guess the email hit a nerve cause he left a mssage on my phone saying that Im being unfair and did I read what I wrote. And where did I get that idea from. And how Im so lucky he didnt tell his sister cause she would curse me out (like thats suppose to scare me) He made me feel like I was crazy and dilluisonal. I didnt even bother to return that call. That was back in October.
Then out of the blue during the holidays he sent me a text wishing me a merry xmas and happy new years , and all this god-blessings crap. He also started sending me emails- not personally for me but the ones that get forwared as group emails. I didnt reply to any of them.
I posted what ya'll just read several months ago. Update....he emailed me saying that he wants to "talk". I feel my emotions are now tamed. At the time when I sent that email I was so hurt, used and disrespected. He completely disregarded my feelings. I was nice to him. I sent it because I had to stand up for myself because I knew he thought he could get away with it. He knew I really liked him and used that against me. I had never had any guy treat me that way. But maybe he is a good guy but got desperate and needed some help.
I will never forget what he said on our last conversation to get me to marry him. He said "I was hoping to do it through you". That broke my heart because all along I believed he was genuine. Im not sure if he is really sorry, although he has never admitted that he did anything wrong. To this day, the whole thing still bothers me. Because of him I will never be nice to another guy- I will not put my heart out there. Or is he just trying to clear his conscious? It is so funny but when he got the email he had the nerve to say that HE feels betrayed. WTF? Should I make ammends and keep it movin'. Hopefully this is the last tiem I bring this up
I knew of this guy on and off for 4 years when I would visit my cousin in New York. I had once told my cousin way back that I was interested in him. But it was not that serious. And the truth is I forgot all about him. Out of the blue he calls my cousin saying that he wants to talk to me. This is 4 years later. Anyway within a month he told me that he is not a US citizen(jamaican). He's 25 years old and has been here for about 7 years. Mind you when he told me this I overlooked it because he is known as very quiet, genuine, nice and helpful. He is actually a house rat and rarely has girlfriends. We spent several months talking on the phone every day, texting, he even sent me flowers. He opened up to me about his low self-esteem and depression and how he wishes he tried to talk to me years earlier. So we finally decided to to meet up. So anyway I go to NY for a 3 day weekend. It was nothing like I expected.
He kept on saying things like how in the next couple of years were going to have a BMW. And the technical school he goes to will land him a job that pays really well. When I went over his place (dont worry ladies, I did not sleep with him-THANK GOD) he told me that he has credit card bills and student loans to pay( he had a fake social security number) and he was thinking of us getting married in a month. He had a job but he quit about a year ago. And that SS# doesnt work anymore so he cant get a job. Anyway I never repsonded to him. And I should have let him know right there.
After I left New York he didnt call me for a little over a week. Then he finally calls me and asks me is there any chapels in maryland? He started saying that I am too nice and easy. And that he knows what he needs to know. He started putting me down and trying to make me feel insecure. He was being so disrepectful. I just couldnt understand where all this is coming from. I even invited him to a ski trip and he acted like he didnt even care, he asked me do I have money to go and to stay at a hotel (yeah I have the money, why would i be going if I didnt) So anyway the conversation was short. Once again I ignored him.
Anyway he calls me a few days later with an attitude and says I dont want u to feel bad but my mother wants me to marry her friend's daughter and that if he does it,its going to be for the long run. And he always wanted to marry fo love. And I will lose him.
I could not believe this was the same nice guy that I was talking on the phone with every day. And here he is manipulating me. I finally told him that I am not ready for marriage and do not expect to get married like this, I want to be engaged and actually have a wedding with family and friends. He realized I was upset and then had the nerve to ask me are we still bf and gf. I told him no. And that was our last conversation.
I was so upset and hurt I sent him this email and basically told him off- and let it be known that all he wanted was a greencard. I made sure he felt like the **** that he is. So anyway I guess the email hit a nerve cause he left a mssage on my phone saying that Im being unfair and did I read what I wrote. And where did I get that idea from. And how Im so lucky he didnt tell his sister cause she would curse me out (like thats suppose to scare me) He made me feel like I was crazy and dilluisonal. I didnt even bother to return that call. That was back in October.
Then out of the blue during the holidays he sent me a text wishing me a merry xmas and happy new years , and all this god-blessings crap. He also started sending me emails- not personally for me but the ones that get forwared as group emails. I didnt reply to any of them.
I posted what ya'll just read several months ago. Update....he emailed me saying that he wants to "talk". I feel my emotions are now tamed. At the time when I sent that email I was so hurt, used and disrespected. He completely disregarded my feelings. I was nice to him. I sent it because I had to stand up for myself because I knew he thought he could get away with it. He knew I really liked him and used that against me. I had never had any guy treat me that way. But maybe he is a good guy but got desperate and needed some help.
I will never forget what he said on our last conversation to get me to marry him. He said "I was hoping to do it through you". That broke my heart because all along I believed he was genuine. Im not sure if he is really sorry, although he has never admitted that he did anything wrong. To this day, the whole thing still bothers me. Because of him I will never be nice to another guy- I will not put my heart out there. Or is he just trying to clear his conscious? It is so funny but when he got the email he had the nerve to say that HE feels betrayed. WTF? Should I make ammends and keep it movin'. Hopefully this is the last tiem I bring this up
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