Should I Let it Fade or Blow Up His Spot?

[Kamilah]

I've been talking to this guy for about a month now and I know that he isn't the ONE for me. He started acting right for like a week, but when he figured out that I had made no exclusive committment to him he started talking to other women and slacking on my time- instead of stepping up and saying that he wants this thing with us to be exclusive. When we last spoke he said he was "irritated" that I was talking to othe guys (LOL! the nerve!). Anyways, he thinks it is all gravy and that I don't know a thing... I've learned that if you play dumb a man will be that much more sloppy w/his dirt. Yes, I give them enough rope to hang themselves.

Anyway, my question is: should I officially end this and let him know that I know? Or should I do like guys do and just stop answering his calls/texts and let it "fade away" and make him try to figure it out?

I'm honestly kinda ticked b/c he was a sweet guy- he had potential in the begining but his pride got in the way. He just thought he had me wrapped around his finger and lost out.

 

[Studio_gal]

How in the world can he expect you to make an exclusive commitment in a week?!
Don't let anyone pressure/ force you into having an exclusive relationship when you hardly know them.
I think its great that he's shown who he is so quickly. If he could have kept his act up any longer, you could have wasted a lot of time with him.

I'm a wimp - so I'd just ignore his messages until he got THE message.

 

[cocosweet]

Ugh. He starts talking to other women to spite you instead of just telling you what he really wants. Yeah, that's effective . I've used both the avoidance approach and the straightforward one.

For this guy, I'd likely say something like, "You know what?" "We should keep doing what we were doing before we met. This isn't working for me like I thought it would."

It sucks when someone you like turns out to be an immature donkey.

 

[Ivy_Butter]

I disagree with the other posts. It seems to me he's mad at you for seeing other guys and you wanna leave him for seeing other girls, but you've already said you weren't committed to him. I'm confused! I don't think either of you should be upset with whats going on. If you both don't like the other dating other people talk about it. Unless you just don't want to be exclusive, in which case why are you trying to "catch" him?

 

[Covergirl5906]

I don't understand either....talk of comittment and all these expectations and you guys have only been talking for a month If you already know he isn't for you then you should just let it fade like you said. Since you aren't in an exclusive relationship, he doesn't owe you anything and you don't owe him anything.....there is no need to "blow up his spot".

 

[Cincysweetie]

I agree with the above two. If you're not being exclusive (and rightfully so, you just met him!), he shouldn't feel the need to be exclusive either. It's still early on and you already feel as though he's not the ONE...so why even move towards being exclusive? There really isn't anything to be mad about.......

 

[Dposh167]

situations like these u have to see them for what they are....IT IS WHAT IT IS!

if ur committed..then ur committed...if not...then ur not!

sooo may people get caught up in drama b/c of the 'idea' of relationship that really doesn't exist.
no matter how charming he is, or how great he used to be. boys are always on their best behavior in the beginning. so if he's showing his true colors now then u know what to do.

but i know exactly where ur coming from tho. I used to be livid at a guy when he pulled that stuff on me (even tho we weren't committed). and i'm a very direct person when it comes to my feelings, so i blew up at them mannnny times! but no matter how good that felt, bottom line, we're not together. he has every right to see others as i do. but if ur guy is talking about getting together then BOTH of u need to be direct on what 'getting together' entitles

 

[Kamilah]

Well, we aren't exclusive or anything but to clarify... we're not "dating". We're courting. So, the only reason we are talking is to find out if we are compatible for marriage. I guess that's a kinda important fact I left out, sorry. So, does that make things different or what?

 

[glamazon386]

If you were truly courting he wouldn't be acting like this. And neither would you. How are you guys going to figure out if you're suitable mates for marriage if you're seeing multiple people? That doesn't make sense. Let it go......

 

[seeminglysweet]

Why can't you two just be friends?

Why does there need to be a "label," if you're both dating other people then why not continue. It's too soon to even know if you LIKE him as a person, which means it's too soon to write him off too.