Should I let him know how I feel?

[lady_godiva]

I just went through a major setback in my life. Something that I had been working on for years was taken away from me. It hurts, but I am starting to get over it now.

I was involved with a man during my going after this goal. I wrote about him in another thread. After getting advice from you ladies, I decided to leave him alone. He was with me until the set back came. Now I know that he was only with me for one reason only. If I had gotten what I was pursuing, I would have more than likely married this man.

There is another man on my job who has always flirted with me. However, he has never asked me out. He never cared about my personal aspirations. At one point he thought that I was just talking about what I wanted to do, but did not think that I would actually do it. That made me think that he was really into me.

When I started back to work this month and I see him again, he is very nice. He tells me he is sorry about my loss. I think he is even trying to make me feel better by saying that my interest is crappy anyway. But, it is my passion and I know that I will pursue this goal again in the future.

I go back to work with a new hairstyle. By the way he always compliments my hair. Anyway, he compliments me on my new hairstyle. He also gently touched my arm when I passed by him one day at work. Now I have a major crush on him.

My question is, what do I do? Do I wait for him to ask me out? Do I ask him out? We do work together so I do know that there are some risks with that. I complimented him too about his working out. I am so into him, because I know that he likes me for me and not for what I was trying to become. Also, if it's God's will and I do make it one day, I will already be with the person who loves me for me win or lose.

What to do y'all? I really really LIKE him.

 

[Naturefreegirl]

personally, I am very shy when it comes to approaching a man, unless it is pertaining to business. But If you like him send him hints, strike conversations with him.

 

[lady_godiva]

personally, I am very shy when it comes to approaching a man, unless it is pertaining to business. But If you like him send him hints, strike conversations with him.

I do strike conversations with him, but my time is limited, so I can't really talk for a long time.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I just went through a major setback in my life. Something that I had been working on for years was taken away from me. It hurts, but I am starting to get over it now.

I was involved with a man during my going after this goal. I wrote about him in another thread. After getting advice from you ladies, I decided to leave him alone. He was with me until the set back came. Now I know that he was only with me for one reason only. If I had gotten what I was pursuing, I would have more than likely married this man.

There is another man on my job who has always flirted with me. However, he has never asked me out. He never cared about my personal aspirations. At one point he thought that I was just talking about what I wanted to do, but did not think that I would actually do it. That made me think that he was really into me.

When I started back to work this month and I see him again, he is very nice. He tells me he is sorry about my loss. I think he is even trying to make me feel better by saying that my interest is crappy anyway. But, it is my passion and I know that I will pursue this goal again in the future.

I go back to work with a new hairstyle. By the way he always compliments my hair. Anyway, he compliments me on my new hairstyle. He also gently touched my arm when I passed by him one day at work. Now I have a major crush on him.

My question is, what do I do? Do I wait for him to ask me out? Do I ask him out? We do work together so I do know that there are some risks with that. I complimented him too about his working out. I am so into him, because I know that he likes me for me and not for what I was trying to become. Also, if it's God's will and I do make it one day, I will already be with the person who loves me for me win or lose.

What to do y'all? I really really LIKE him.

Do what you feel is right is the ultimate answer....but perhaps lay back a while...totally resolve the recent losses first then really become sincere friends at work before you approach a 1:1 relationship.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

I know you like him...and that's good. It sounds like he may like you as well. But there's no need to tell him how you feel. That's like telling him he's won the Indy 500 before he's even at the starting line.


What worries me is that you just went through the crushing loss of something you hold dear. Sometimes (I'm not saying this is what you are doing!) people try to replace something they lost with something else...it could be a friend, a business, a lover. Having something new to concentrate on, pour all their energy into, is a way of coping with the pain, taking their attention away from it for a time.

You need to ask yourself -- are you on the rebound? Is a massive crush/potential new romance a way to ignore the pain you're going through?

If you think you're up for it, then make it happen. Ask him to lunch. The worst he could say is no. And if that happens, it's not gonna kill you.
But I do believe he'd be happy to say yes.

Good luck.

 

[hurricane]

Guard your heart. Slip him your phone number and e-mail address. Continue to COMMUNICATE. Very important the more he talks the more you get to know him. then go out on a date and the rest will fall in place.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

There is another man on my job who has always flirted with me. However, he has never asked me out. He never cared about my personal aspirations. At one point he thought that I was just talking about what I wanted to do, but did not think that I would actually do it. That made me think that he was really into me.

When I started back to work this month and I see him again, he is very nice. He tells me he is sorry about my loss. I think he is even trying to make me feel better by saying that my interest is crappy anyway. But, it is my passion and I know that I will pursue this goal again in the future.

I go back to work with a new hairstyle. By the way he always compliments my hair. Anyway, he compliments me on my new hairstyle. He also gently touched my arm when I passed by him one day at work. Now I have a major crush on him.

My question is, what do I do? Do I wait for him to ask me out? Do I ask him out?



Me personally, I would leave that one alone, and continue to pursue my interest. I think WomanlyCharm said it best. I think you like the fact that he is giving you attention. But as a colleague, since you mentioned that he never really took an interest in what it was you were trying to pursue, then how would that work out in a friendship? I've been there before, and sometimes when we lose focus, we tend to adjust our attention elsewhere. Pursue your dreams.....who knows, by the time you pursue your dreams, you may not have an interest in him.

However, if you still have an interest, I would let him ask me out. You don't want to get your hopes up, then have another set back..that is the last thing you need. Think about it. YOU come first....

 

[PapillionRouge]

Let him approach u. If he doesnt, then hes not that into u as much as u are into him.

Dont slip him ur number.. let him ask for it.

If he doesnt pursue, simply move on....

 

[PapillionRouge]

Any updates?