pearlific1
Well-Known Member
Hey ladies!
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. When he initially came along, I wasn't interested in him because I didn't find him very attractive and he has a 9 year old son. I don't have any children and cringed at the thought of dating someone with a child. Well, he was very persistent and I finally recognized how beautiful this guy is. He has such a kind, genuine heart and goes out of his way to make sure I always have a smile on my face. He's someone that I can talk to for hours about anything and everything
Here is my 1st problem: He acts more like a female than I do. He is clingy and when something doesn’t go his way, he gives me the silent treatment. When I give him the silent treatment for whatever reason, he quickly blasts me for doing so which frequently leads to arguments and days of not talking. It’s one of those you can dish it out but cannot take it situations.
It always results in him calling me inconsiderate, or rude, or the like.
2nd problem: My family hates him. Ok, my mom hates him. My dad is indifferent. My 3 brothers like him and everyone else feels that I can do much better. Why? “You shouldn’t settle for someone with a kid.” Settle? No, I don’t like it but it hasn’t interfered with our relationship. Yes, I’m afraid of the time that it will become problem and I will have to deal with a baby mama, child support and him being in and out of court. I don’t think I should have to deal with that mess; but as he so “eloquently” put it in the beginning days of our courtship “out of sight, out of mind” because his son didn’t live in the same state. But wait. The BM and child have just moved back and are living in the same city as us. Seriously?! He hasn't seen his son in over a year (but that's another thread...) His child is a delicate subject in our relationship but until something huge happens, I’m just enjoying the uninterrupted time we spend with one another.
3rd problem: I just confirmed that he smokes a few months ago…I HATE SMOKE!!! No, I had no idea in the beginning. I never witnessed him smoking and neither he nor his place ever smelled like smoke. I few months ago, I saw an empty carton of black and mild
in his car. It caught my attention but I didn’t think too much about it. As time went on, I started to see more boxes pop up here and there and then I finally asked him if he smoked. He confirmed but told me that he didn’t do it often because he’d been trying to quit. I’ve noticed that when we have a problem or he wants to piss me off, he’ll smoke to get under my skin. 
It works. Every. Time.
Lastly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of feeling like my two worlds—my boyfriend and my family will never be one unit. I can't talk to my fam about the awesome vacay or whatever I had with my bf and I can't talk to my bf about anything that involves my mom...which is a lot. I will always have to keep them separate. That is so stressful. Is it just time to cut my losses and
or things will possibly work themselves out eventually? We seem to have reoccurring issues that we can never seem to overcome.
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. When he initially came along, I wasn't interested in him because I didn't find him very attractive and he has a 9 year old son. I don't have any children and cringed at the thought of dating someone with a child. Well, he was very persistent and I finally recognized how beautiful this guy is. He has such a kind, genuine heart and goes out of his way to make sure I always have a smile on my face. He's someone that I can talk to for hours about anything and everything
Here is my 1st problem: He acts more like a female than I do. He is clingy and when something doesn’t go his way, he gives me the silent treatment. When I give him the silent treatment for whatever reason, he quickly blasts me for doing so which frequently leads to arguments and days of not talking. It’s one of those you can dish it out but cannot take it situations.
It always results in him calling me inconsiderate, or rude, or the like.2nd problem: My family hates him. Ok, my mom hates him. My dad is indifferent. My 3 brothers like him and everyone else feels that I can do much better. Why? “You shouldn’t settle for someone with a kid.” Settle? No, I don’t like it but it hasn’t interfered with our relationship. Yes, I’m afraid of the time that it will become problem and I will have to deal with a baby mama, child support and him being in and out of court. I don’t think I should have to deal with that mess; but as he so “eloquently” put it in the beginning days of our courtship “out of sight, out of mind” because his son didn’t live in the same state. But wait. The BM and child have just moved back and are living in the same city as us. Seriously?! He hasn't seen his son in over a year (but that's another thread...) His child is a delicate subject in our relationship but until something huge happens, I’m just enjoying the uninterrupted time we spend with one another.
3rd problem: I just confirmed that he smokes a few months ago…I HATE SMOKE!!! No, I had no idea in the beginning. I never witnessed him smoking and neither he nor his place ever smelled like smoke. I few months ago, I saw an empty carton of black and mild
in his car. It caught my attention but I didn’t think too much about it. As time went on, I started to see more boxes pop up here and there and then I finally asked him if he smoked. He confirmed but told me that he didn’t do it often because he’d been trying to quit. I’ve noticed that when we have a problem or he wants to piss me off, he’ll smoke to get under my skin. It works. Every. Time.Lastly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of feeling like my two worlds—my boyfriend and my family will never be one unit. I can't talk to my fam about the awesome vacay or whatever I had with my bf and I can't talk to my bf about anything that involves my mom...which is a lot. I will always have to keep them separate. That is so stressful. Is it just time to cut my losses and
or things will possibly work themselves out eventually? We seem to have reoccurring issues that we can never seem to overcome.
Regardless if his child lives 1000 miles away he needs to go see that child. His lack of parental character and responsibility would make me end it fast......
Yes, he's a cancer!!! 
) but he was so moody that I felt terrible that he was standing outside my door pleading with me. Once inside, he was completely falling apart. I gave in 
...and 3 months later, I'm debating on how I'm going to do this again. For good.
