bravenewgirl87
New Member
I was thinking about posting this conflict on both the off-topic forum and the christian forum. (I didn't want to limit myself to just one view). I had a friend, we'll call her LG, at my university who I became instantly close to. Its like, as soon as we became roomies... we were like blood sisters. I helped her through her decision to be engaged to her ex, I was her detective when her ex keyed and attacked her car. The two of us became so close after one week that we wanted to get our first apartment together and spent our summer searching for the perfect place. All while this was happening, the both us, now single, set out on a search for her new beau. She had spent most of her HS years with a particular young man and had yet to experience fun in college bc of this relationship. I was the ever doting friend. One day, we went to visit a male friend of mine in his home and the two of them were smitten. I was so excited! He seemed perfect for her, everything she was looking for, and as far as I had known he was a decent man. Well, while the two of them were dating, they noticed my affection for another male friend named ML ( I have several posts refering to him). We were excited to take our friendship to the next level and were happy. I was supportive of him through his emotional crisis, I prayed for his financial and prayed every moment for us to stay together forever. Well, the relationship btw her and the guy ended bc he was basically a dog and I didn't know. The two of them blamed me bc I warned her that i was noticing signs that he was no good and she was too pretty to put up with his games. This destroyed all of our dreams for rent-to-own on a condo, being at each others weddings... the friendship slowly dwindled. She instead moved in with a young lady, call her Katie. They then set out to destroy my relationship with ML. I would noticed on his facebook all of these enticing messages on his wall inviting him over, flirting, etc. I asked her one day why she was doing it and she gave me some run-of-the mill excuses, "oh, ML is just having fun with you", "You guys are over", "You broke up my relationship, and now we think you're trying to break up Katie's". What?????!!! I don't even know the girl, I have just heard of her promiscous sexcapades through ML. Four Months Later, ML and I succumbed to couple deathbed and our friendship and romance was ruined. To anyone who knew me, I was a former shell of who I once was. I was known around campus for being energetic, lively, happy-go-luck goof troop. After the break-up, I was no longer fun to be around, i didn't talked to many people, not even my parents. I would spend my weekdays at work or at class, and then spent my lonesome nights crying. Eventually my hardwork in school and at work suffered and I was fired and failed my classes. I decided to take time off this semester to recoup and get back in order, as well as get surgery for scoleosis. I have been doing fine, I stop cursing god for the break-up and the pain. I started attending church again, dating again, and am peacing my life back together. Late Last Night, I get a message:
hey girl.
ive realized that what happened to us was really dumb and immature and it should have never even happened. there was so much drama involved and i really couldn't handle it. you were absolutely right about katie. i never meant to hurt you or do anything to you. you were a good friend and i wanted to ask you if u could forgive and forget and put the past behind us. i would really like to be on good terms with you. jeremy said u were back home. i hope all is going well for you and i heard u were having surgery as well.. i hope everything's okay.
hopefully talk to you soon!
♥ LG
This is how i feel about the message
My Mom thinks I shouldn't even respond to her; Have absolutely nothing to do with her. I feel that to say I forgive, but to still not even say hello when I see her or even respond to her attempts at contact means I am still hold malice and contempt in my heart. Does that still make me a christian? Am I still making progress in my faith and doing the works of Jesus if I make the decision to not be friends? Or do I have to forgive completely and give her another chance in order to be true? I don't know if I can ever trust her again, and certainly not around any potential love interests!
hey girl.
ive realized that what happened to us was really dumb and immature and it should have never even happened. there was so much drama involved and i really couldn't handle it. you were absolutely right about katie. i never meant to hurt you or do anything to you. you were a good friend and i wanted to ask you if u could forgive and forget and put the past behind us. i would really like to be on good terms with you. jeremy said u were back home. i hope all is going well for you and i heard u were having surgery as well.. i hope everything's okay.
hopefully talk to you soon!
♥ LG
This is how i feel about the message
My Mom thinks I shouldn't even respond to her; Have absolutely nothing to do with her. I feel that to say I forgive, but to still not even say hello when I see her or even respond to her attempts at contact means I am still hold malice and contempt in my heart. Does that still make me a christian? Am I still making progress in my faith and doing the works of Jesus if I make the decision to not be friends? Or do I have to forgive completely and give her another chance in order to be true? I don't know if I can ever trust her again, and certainly not around any potential love interests!
. I don't think you have to be close friends with her (to start), but I do think you need to forgive her and at the minimum be cordial and nice to her, then see where it goes. You reap what you sow. At some point you may hurt someone else and you'll want them to forgive you...and you'll want things to go back to how they were.
Also, is it because her conscious is killing her and she wants to see if she can get back into your good graces? Maybe so. You have come so far in this situation and whatever you decide to do, proceed with caution. Sometimes God removes people out of our lives for a reason and she may have only been put in your life for a season. Think about it, pray over the situation and proceed once God gives you the answer you need. HTH 
