Should I be concerned with being called at least four times today?

lady_godiva

lady_godiva

Well-Known Member
I met a man not too long ago. He asked for my number, but I am not interested in him. I saw him last night at a club that I went to for happy hour. Today he has already called me FOUR times. The first two were within 20 minutes of each other before 8 this morning. He may have called more, but I turned my phone off. He has called two more times today. Isn't this excessive?

When I told my mother about it this morning, she blew it off as to the fact that he likes me. I'm sorry, but even if I had been interested in the beginning, I am not interested now. This is a complete turn off. This is like stalking to me. What should I do?
 
Yes, this is excessive and yes it would bother me.

I've only had this happen with guys I've met at bars and parties. I rarely give out my number in such situations, but they usually come off as very nice and they actually act like gentlemen in that situation... there are usually a few normal guys in those places (:lol:) so I try to give them a chance.

While I haven't had an excessive caller like that guy, these guys will typically be the ones to drunk dial/text me at midnight telling me to come meet me at so-and-so bar, or they'll call the next day to ask me to "hang out" at yet another bar/club.

I'm pretty done at this point with the bar/club/party people. I rarely gave those types a chance anyway, but I really wonder now.
 
lady_godiva said:
I met a man not too long ago. He asked for my number, but I am not interested in him. I saw him last night at a club that I went to for happy hour. Today he has already called me FOUR times. The first two were within 20 minutes of each other before 8 this morning. He may have called more, but I turned my phone off. He has called two more times today. Isn't this excessive?

When I told my mother about it this morning, she blew it off as to the fact that he likes me. I'm sorry, but even if I had been interested in the beginning, I am not interested now. This is a complete turn off. This is like stalking to me. What should I do?
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Absolutely excessive and a turnoff. I'd like to know what was his reason for calling? I would not turn off my phone but I'd ignore the calls...never answer him, never.
 
Why did you give him your number if you knew you werent interested?

Either way, he's not a mind reader. So on the next phone call, just be blunt and tell him that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate it he would not use your number again.

If he keeps calling AFTER you've told him this, then yeah its a problem. But dont expect folks to read your mind. Be blunt and tell him on the next call.
 
I would definitely be concerned. I had a man call me 9 times on a Sunday--before the afternoon even over...he ended up demanding to know why I hadn't called him back. I told him some people go to church on Sunday and that I was running errands, getting a new phone. Then he wanted to know why I hadn't called him to buy my cell phone for me. Then he was wanting me to come to his club to meet his mother and sister. Oh, but I had just met him about 3 or 4 days prior, had a total of about 30 minutes of conversation with him up till then.

Since I had met him in front of my apartment, when I started being afraid that he'd show up there, I had to say something. He said he felt like I was making him out to be "some kind of stalker or something." :huh: (If the shoe fits!)

And yes, he did end up drunk dialing me. :nono:
 
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MizzBrown said:
Why did you give him your number if you knew you werent interested?

Either way, he's not a mind reader. So on the next phone call, just be blunt and tell him that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate it he would not use your number again.

If he keeps calling AFTER you've told him this, then yeah its a problem. But dont expect folks to read your mind. Be blunt and tell him on the next call.
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I gave him my number because he knows my pastor. I know that sounds strange. We were at brunch when I gave him my number. The next time I saw him was last night.
 
I would tell him that his calling you like a stalker is not cool and to stop.

If he has sense he will. Now, if you think he was just over-enthusiastic and he has potential, take it slow. He sounds like a child.

If he doesn't back off and act like he has any sense, report his butt to the PO-LICE. Stat.
 
lady_godiva said:
Isn't this excessive?
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Yes. This man is showing rude, thoughtless (calling before 8? :nono:), aggressive behavior. If you really, really like him and don't feel like keeping your boundaries firm (not advisable), you can try asking him to stop calling so frequently. However, I am 99% sure he will at most take a break and very soon be back to such behavior. Every man I've ever known or heard of who calls like this was bad, bad news of the physically aggressive, stalker, and/or verbally abusive variety. The same is true of women who behave in such ways. I cut these types off as soon as they start manifesting their nutty tendencies (and they always try to put up a fight :rolleyes:).
When I told my mother about it this morning, she blew it off as to the fact that he likes me.
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Wrong answer.
 
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I remember telling a guy NOT to call(cause I was going out) and he called anyway. Things went downhill from there...
 
doesn't matter if your pastor knows him..that wldnt be good enough for me

..you must listen to your intstincts..you're not interested?
Then...he does NOT get YOUR number..
but no problem..it happened this time...at least people know him
and this'll be how you learn

though there are exceptions..the inevitable special guy..lol
a man usually gets my number if we've known each other a while
and I know he's balanced and sane and respects boundaries

these days in casual dating....{ tho I am pro guy-does-the-calling}
I take the man's number because I am fiercely private and
I control the amount of interaction I want...in a case like yours....
that's what I'd suggest in the future

you know what to do! :) don't worry about being polite
be direct..

take one last call and TELL HIM directly...I prefer not to be called
after all...ANYMORE.
please respect this..or I will have to take
protective action....

and if he does it again....from now on.... I keep a record of all calls
as part of a file on a investigative police report on harassment
against you

and then do it :(

also the phone company,I think can block his number?
but you also really need to tell firmly not to call you so it's clear

hth....
 
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MizzBrown said:
Why did you give him your number if you knew you werent interested?

Either way, he's not a mind reader. So on the next phone call, just be blunt and tell him that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate it he would not use your number again.

If he keeps calling AFTER you've told him this, then yeah its a problem. But dont expect folks to read your mind. Be blunt and tell him on the next call.
Click to expand...

Cot darn! You took the words out of my mouth. :look:
 
OP, let that man know what's really good!

A guy asked for my number 3 weeks ago at CVS. He worked there.Within an hour of giving him my number, he called me twice. I told him I would call him back. I got busy and didn't.

This fool decided to call me every hour on the hour the next day and thereafter. He even went to the extreme to call me from different numbers.

It wasn't until I threatened to come to CVS while he worked and make the biggest scene, is when he stopped. Major turn off :nono:...
 
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