Self-Hatred: Men Against Their Own Women

[auparavant]

When is enough, enough? When will women put their foot down to say, "no, I will not have your baby oow cuz you don't respect me," and "no, I'm not going to be chasing you when you obviously don't like my color, which, btw, is just like yours" ? They are getting married, just not to AA women in a large percentage. Sigh.

When is enough, enough? Where are the women's voices to them? Forget the feminist revolution and civil rights in history, there needs to be a 5 million AA woman march against all the nonsense they are putting up with (not "having" to put up with) regarding AA men. And by G-d, there ought to be the good AA men, fathers, brothers, cousins etc. marching alongside them to bring this junk to the forefront, hand-in-hand, to shock the society and to plan for the future as it's bleak.

I'd sure like to read in history which other race/ethnicity of men have hated their own women to this extent. Enough is enough. Gotta go after the young girls and train them, even in the absence of a father growing up. Somebody's got to mentor them all and say, "no, this is not appropriate and you do not seek out these men with this kind of mentality." What happened to the majority of honorable AA men? Is the key the women? They say that no one can treat you badly without your permission. You cannot force another to respect you, but you can walk away from that disrespect. Where is the incentive between Adam and Eve to walk in love? I just don't know. ha! People who have influenced revolution worldwide in former African colonies and brought their own super-power govt. to its knees in the fight for justice and now, they are willingly killing themselves off. Bof! I think the power lies with the women. They have to stand and accept no more and stop making excuses. Oh, sleeping giant, awaken!!!

 

[StarScream35]

WOW! I just found this thread. I'm surprised nobody responded. I think AA men have way too much self hatred and end up projecting their self hatred on to us. It's really sad it has become this way, especially when we fought so hard and long together during the civil rights days. I personally think black women take the crap they do because of their own insecurities. A woman who has self respect and knows her self value will not allow herself to be degraded in such a manner!

 

[LivingDol1]

I think it's the responsibility of women to choose better men who will treat them with respect.

Blame black men all one wants.... But the only person that any of us can change is ourselves.

I'm actually not sure what the hang up is about the desire to marry a black man anyways. Just marry a good man.

 

[Flawless_JYM]

The problem with these types of threads is no matter what gender starts them it almost without fail turns into the blame game. When that happens it's hard to want to listen for some cause at the end of the day like somebody said you(general) have to take responsibility for your actions. One thing I agree with alot of guys about is the fact that even the numbers say that a majority of black men marry black women yet you would believe that it's the other way around.

 

[intergalacticartist]

It really is the society that black men live in that leave them feeling powerless and less than men. They then project that feeling onto women, like someone said earlier. It's sad all the way around

 

[MD_Lady]

It really is the society that black men live in that leave them feeling powerless and less than men. They then project that feeling onto women, like someone said earlier. It's sad all the way around

I agree 100% with this. The problem is that, while this is a reason, it's not an excuse (and I'm not saying you are trying to excuse anyone's mistreatment of anyone else). Anti-black racism impacts both black men AND black women (although in different ways) and I'm sick of the belief system within the black community that BM have a monopoly on being oppressed, BW should shut up and deal with any hardship they might experience (which, of course, PALES in comparison to EVERYTHING black men go through), and the misplaced aggression that BM direct towards BW and black children (and away from himself, other black men, and non blacks) should be tolerated and rationalized. Nope, not gonna do it. No matter the source of a person's pain, at some point, everyone is responsible for finding ways of dealing with it effectively. Granted, there could be a perfectly valid reason why someone hasn't gotten to a point in their life where they are willing and able to do this, but I'll be darned if I stick around to be their (psychological, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical) punching bag in the meantime.

 

[MD_Lady]

I think it's the responsibility of women to choose better men who will treat them with respect.

Blame black men all one wants.... But the only person that any of us can change is ourselves.

I'm actually not sure what the hang up is about the desire to marry a black man anyways. Just marry a good man.

I know a lot of people avoid these discussions because they feel it will turn into the "blame black women" game, but I think there two parts to this discussion and the bold is KEY. It's not (the general) your fault a BM has emotional wounds that have yet to heal and it's NOT your responsibility to heal them (ESPECIALLY not at the expense of your own well-being). People need to stop feeling that it's acceptable to saddle others with their emotional baggage and those around them need to stop feeling compelled to accept it.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I think it's the responsibility of women to choose better men who will treat them with respect.

Blame black men all one wants.... But the only person that any of us can change is ourselves.

I'm actually not sure what the hang up is about the desire to marry a black man anyways. Just marry a good man.

^^AMEN!!



I whole heartedly agree.

That's why my soul doesn't "burn" when I see bm w/ww because I know that I personally don't limit myself to blk men. I date and am open to dating men of all colors, races, and nationalities. So, if I'm not limiting myself to blk men, why should I require them to only date BW??

Honesstly, just find a GOOD man...one who treats YOU right, and one who shares YOUR values. I don't have time to worry about AA men and their "self-hate", etc.

Honestly, I don't know how much of it is really "self-hate", as it is that men in general simply like CHOICES. They don't feel the same "loyalty" to BW that BW feel for BM. Plain and simple. Maybe for them it's not that serious. While some BW may feel that these BM are "haters" simply because some of them choose to date outside of their race, a lot of times it may not be so cut and dry. *shrugs*

 

[Belle Creole]

I think more Black men marry Black women than any other race. You can also say that about all races.

I have to admit I was having an issue with decreased attraction for Black men, but online dating fixed that. I have been approached by all races, including and especially Black men.

I now focus on the person, and I encourage every Black man I come across with kindness and compassion...in my view it's a small step in sowing the right seed.