Sealing the deal when it comes to meeting new men

[greight]

Okay! So, I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been going out more, meeting new people, and making a lot of effort when it comes to talking, approaching, flirting with men.

I'm honestly really poor when it comes to flirting over text. Yes, I'm 24 years old and don't really use my phone too much so if there are any tips, rules, I'm all for hearing them out.

But most of all, I was wondering if any of you guys have tips of subtly letting a guy know you're interested in going out and pursuing something more (first date, not a relationship as of yet). It's like I can get with the small talk, get a guy to dance, get a guy to talk about himself, but I wonder if I'm sending the right signals for him to ask me out?

I've been asked out before, I've also gotten numbers/given numbers, but not really by the ones that I want.

 

[LivingDol1]

sending the right signals? i guess it's just important to project a positive attitude, smile, be approachable, and make conversation when you're out meeting guys... i don't know what one should do to get the guy -you- want to ask you out on a date.... other than asking him to hang out yourself... or dropping some super obvious hints.

i'm not one for asking guys out (it has never worked in my experience). but i am interested to hear what other posters have to say.

 

[greight]

sending the right signals? i guess it's just important to project a positive attitude, smile, be approachable, and make conversation when you're out meeting guys... i don't know what one should do to get the guy -you- want to ask you out on a date.... other than asking him to hang out yourself... or dropping some super obvious hints.

i'm not one for asking guys out (it has never worked in my experience). but i am interested to hear what other posters have to say.

I think my positive attitude and chatty nature has helped me a lot.

I don't believe in asking guys out since I don't want to be the one with the bill , but I also think that if a guy is interested in you, he'll make an effort. I wonder if I'm having a higher sense of how I'm doing? Maybe they aren't as interested in me as think I am?

Nonetheless, I'm excited that I'm starting to get better results out in the dating/mingling world with some of the tips that I've been reading. I would like to add more tools into my arsenal .

 

[LivingDol1]

i also think that guys should do the asking and if they like you, they will make the effort. i don't think women should do any chasing or give men any options. call me old fashioned but i just don't think it's natural!

do you flirt? like, if you like a guy, touch his arm in conversation? joke around? stuff like that?

 

[JustDoIt]

LivingDol1 I agree, I think guys like the chase,so to speak.

OP I think if you be yourself and think of being friends with this person rather than trying to get into a relationship with them you will find a more fulfilling relationship with this person when you eventually find them. If it's meant to be, the relationship will come in its own time and it will be so much better than just getting into a quick relationship (based on your physical attraction) with that guy without actually getting to know him first and ensuring you actually like him.

So if you want tips on how to meet new men, I would say go to places where you are interested in whatever is happening, maybe art galleries, or whatever you like and be bold and talk to people (men and women) but don't go with the expressed interest of getting into a relationship. That will come in time.. just be yourself so that when that guy comes along you'll have presented the true you and he won't have any surprises.

SideNote: Only take this advice if you really want a relationship that can potentially last.

 

[greight]

i also think that guys should do the asking and if they like you, they will make the effort. i don't think women should do any chasing or give men any options. call me old fashioned but i just don't think it's natural!

do you flirt? like, if you like a guy, touch his arm in conversation? joke around? stuff like that?

Pretty much. I never thought of myself as much of a flirt, but my friends have told me otherwise lol. I'm more likely to touch people than not, especially good friends. I'm the oldest so those tendencies to comfort come out. I don't do it with people I just met, however. If I see you once or twice, you qualify to get a hug (if you are not an idiot).

 

[greight]

LivingDol1 I agree, I think guys like the chase,so to speak.

OP I think if you be yourself and think of being friends with this person rather than trying to get into a relationship with them you will find a more fulfilling relationship with this person when you eventually find them. If it's meant to be, the relationship will come in its own time and it will be so much better than just getting into a quick relationship (based on your physical attraction) with that guy without actually getting to know him first and ensuring you actually like him.

So if you want tips on how to meet new men, I would say go to places where you are interested in whatever is happening, maybe art galleries, or whatever you like and be bold and talk to people (men and women) but don't go with the expressed interest of getting into a relationship. That will come in time.. just be yourself so that when that guy comes along you'll have presented the true you and he won't have any surprises.

SideNote: Only take this advice if you really want a relationship that can potentially last.

Good advice! I actually have been doing this, even though I didn't state it explicitly in my original post. This book that I've been reading advised that I should go out and meet people without trying to be on the prowl. I think that has helped me to be more friendly with guys. I think that's one of the reasons why I don't have many male friends since I get so standoffish. I only go out to places that I feel comfortable, anyway, so I'm def not a club girl either.

I just simply have no game when it comes to when a guy shows interest and he throws a softball in my court, you know? And I'm not sure what the difference is between them and the guys that I do happen to like/feel connected to.

For instance, I gave my number to one guy because he needed help with something that night. The next thing I know, he's flirting with me the next day and when I barely had talked to him at the party. We actually hung out before, but not to the same degree as other guys that I've been friendly with so it came as a surprise. A good surprise, but a surprise.

I should probably stop over thinking things and just enjoy the moment, lol.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Okay! So, I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been going out more, meeting new people, and making a lot of effort when it comes to talking, approaching, flirting with men.

I'm honestly really poor when it comes to flirting over text. Yes, I'm 24 years old and don't really use my phone too much so if there are any tips, rules, I'm all for hearing them out.

But most of all, I was wondering if any of you guys have tips of subtly letting a guy know you're interested in going out and pursuing something more (first date, not a relationship as of yet). It's like I can get with the small talk, get a guy to dance, get a guy to talk about himself, but I wonder if I'm sending the right signals for him to ask me out?

I've been asked out before, I've also gotten numbers/given numbers, but not really by the ones that I want.

OMG!! Get out of my head!!!

This is my dilemma too! I do well with first impressions, but when it comes to getting guys that I'm actually secretly DYING for them to ask me out, it's like....it never happens past the first great conversation.


By all means, please let me know the answer to this when you find out because I would be dying to know too!

It's like, I can attract guys that I'm NOT interested in allllll the time, but when it comes to guys I actually wouldn't mind getting to know better, it's like I turn all shy and stuff. Or, I'm not myself. It's really frustrating.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I think my positive attitude and chatty nature has helped me a lot.

I don't believe in asking guys out since I don't want to be the one with the bill , but I also think that if a guy is interested in you, he'll make an effort. I wonder if I'm having a higher sense of how I'm doing? Maybe they aren't as interested in me as think I am?

I agree. Don't chase.

There are ways to SHOW a man that you're interested in him w/out chasing him. Smiling is number one. Touch is probably number two. My problem is though, that I tend to get nervous/shy around guys that I may actually be interested in, so I don't do half of these flirty little things w/him even though I might actually be interested!

i also think that guys should do the asking and if they like you, they will make the effort. i don't think women should do any chasing or give men any options. call me old fashioned but i just don't think it's natural!

It's NOT natural! Trust me, I've done it before (by accident) and it did NOT end well. I told myself never ever again will I try to "make things happen" with a guy. Nope! Not me!

LivingDol1 I agree, I think guys like the chase,so to speak.

OP I think if you be yourself and think of being friends with this person rather than trying to get into a relationship with them you will find a more fulfilling relationship with this person when you eventually find them. If it's meant to be, the relationship will come in its own time and it will be so much better than just getting into a quick relationship (based on your physical attraction) with that guy without actually getting to know him first and ensuring you actually like him.

So if you want tips on how to meet new men, I would say go to places where you are interested in whatever is happening, maybe art galleries, or whatever you like and be bold and talk to people (men and women) but don't go with the expressed interest of getting into a relationship. That will come in time.. just be yourself so that when that guy comes along you'll have presented the true you and he won't have any surprises.

SideNote: Only take this advice if you really want a relationship that can potentially last.

I really REALLY like this advice. And I think it's actually a revelation I've come to myself. I recently noticed that usually the guys that I had the most "success" with in the past were the guys that I had no romantic interest in and therefore just treated as "friends". I can't tell you how many guy "friends" have confessed their feelings for me. I think the difference between these guys, and the guys that I'm interested in is that I was treating these guy friends as just that....FRIENDS! I didn't have any ulterior motives, I was being relaxed, being myself, smiling, having fun, maybe even being a little flirtatious (perhaps unknowingly), and therefore they ended up liking me as a result. It took some time (meaning, it didn't happen over night...they weren't trying to start something with me after meeting me in other words), but over a course of some months or even a couple of years these guys eventually told me how they felt, or showed me how they felt.

So, I think really that is the key. Just be YOURSELF, be friendly, outgoing, engaging, and genuinely interested in guys in general and I think you will have much better success in the long run.

Wow....I just realized that I was looking for answers myself, but I think I just answered my own question...with the help of JustDoIt

SO yeah...just go out, have fun, mingle, and show genuine interest in other people. I notice that when I engage men in conversation (no ulterior motives at all...just making light conversation), they usually end up wanting my number or wanting to continue the conversation somehow. So...go figure!