Running His Fingers Through Your Hair

[MsLizziA]

OP, I understand exactly what you mean.

Especially since I wear my hair cornrowed under a wig. It makes me a little self conscious when DH of 9yrs and 4 kids runs his fingers through my hair.

Irrational, yes, but that is how I feel and I'm trying to get over it.

You are only as sexy as you feel. Besides, he doesnt even care one way or another, lol.

i might get over it when my hair reaches APL

 

[Rocky91]

i don't mind...i like my hair looking slightly messy and carefree anyways. he gives great scalp massages.

 

[Brownie518]

SO loves running his fingers through my hair. Normally, I hate people touching me, especially on my head. But, we are close enough that I allow him 'inside' me, I figure he's allowed in my hair, too. Besides, it feels good! Sensual.

 

[asubeauty]

My SO tried to run his fingers through my twistout and almost lost one. He started pulling and my head went with him. We were sitting on the floor watching a movie and all of a sudden he was dragging me across the floor by my hair and I was yelling, "SO, stop!!"

He ended up apologizing profusely and now I think he's scared to touch my hair.

But I like when he does.

 

[MsLizziA]

My SO tried to run his fingers through my twistout and almost lost one. He started pulling and my head went with him. We were sitting on the floor watching a movie and all of a sudden he was dragging me across the floor by my hair and I was yelling, "SO, stop!!"

He ended up apologizing profusely and now I think he's scared to touch my hair.

But I like when he does.

 

[kandiekj100]

I let my hubby have at it. The only time I might shy away from it is if my hair has not dried yet, because I don't want him to shift it some odd direction and it dries like that. Other than that, I'm good.

 

[curlydrea]

I let my SO run his fingers in my 4a hair. I can say that he has never asked the just does it because he loooves my natrual hair. The first time he did i was a little nervous but he just caressed it for a min and it was all good. He knows he cant just finger comb my hair out of no where but to me playing in it is cool.

Now wen a stranger does it out of no where thats wen its annoying

 

[femmemuscle]

girl, at first i thought you were wearing a weave or something. I wish my SO could run his fingers through my hair.

Unfortunately, i'm on a hair journey, so he only sees the cornrows.

 

[Truth]

I can tell that fool stop and he still picks and plays in my curls...so i've said whatever and just let him now..lol

 

[casey3035]

My hubby is Caucasian-the 1st time he rubbed my hair I was surprised and not used to it. I didn't dare complain because I felt that I shouldn't make him feel like he was missing out on something that he could normally share with someone of his own race.
I think he has experience with this because he normally dates white women-therefore he is so gentle and it is so very soothing for me-makes me fall asleep like a baby...

 

[Sianna]

This is a sort of complicated issue for me. I've only been in two relationships at the age of 31 but during the first one, I was weaved, bone-laxed and my hair extremely damaged; NOT something I wanted ANYONE'S hands in, even at times when I wasn't wearing a weave, which was rare.

Now that my hair is natural, un-weaved, and buttery soft, I still find myself feeling some kinda way about having anyone's hands in there but my own. I'm trying to get over it though! Most black women won't let their man near their hair, but since I am in situation where I have nothing to hide and no reason to shew him away, I find myself wanting to escape the restraints I had previously imposed on my first SO, myself and my current DH. He loves natural hair and I think he wants to touch it sometimes. But he's kinda timid about it. I think, like many black men, he has been conditioned to stay away from a black woman's hair. I've actually encouraged him to touch it a few times.

OP, if I can do it, you can do it too!

 

[EccentricRed]

Yeah I understand that. Dude that I'm interested in likes to play in my hair. When it's straight, I would trip less, but when it's curly, sometimes I shut my eyes and hopes that he leaves it alone because his fingers are going to get tangled...lol...

 

[Hersheygurl]

I don't mind when hubby runs his fingers through my hair. His nails are always short and clean, so it doesn't bother me. He gives great scalp massages, but I can't stand when he kind of pets me like a dog. I'll usually give him a look and he'll cut it out. If it's curly, he'll just twirl the curls.

Now my toddler, her little fingers are not going near my head...she is rough!

 

[missykeyana]

I had to teach my DH how to touch my hair....there's no running hands through nothing here! He can massage my scalp, run his hands over my hair, and (lightly) pull and squeeze my curls. He messes my hair up but I don't care

 

[DrC]

Nope, my SO plays in my hair weave lol.

 

[Chevelure618]

Part of my healthy hair journey was psychological. I had to examine myself and break the age-old myths and beliefs and FEELINGS about my hair.

Part of it was embracing my new growth...loving it instead of dreading it.

The next was letting a black man put his fingers through my hair. I thought this out this way: if I was a guy, would I want to run my fingers through a girl's hair and come out greasy, or stuck? The answer was no, so I made sure my hair was up to MY standard for that.

Then regarding swimming. The black women gasped in horror, as I got off the lounge chair and actuallly went in the water, without swim cap and went under, under, under hair flowing behind me. The black men almost cheered. Mentally? "Its just hair, and it can be washed. I have a scrunchy in my purse and a comb...it'll be a cute puff. Now I'm gonna enjoy this swim."

Letting a white man run his fingers through my hair. This is not a problem at all. They love our hair and are generally accepting of the things we are most critical of about ourselves (my experience).

I say let him put his hands in your hair and try and enjoy it....it's liberating.

 

[MadamCJCPA]

I've never had a problem with allowing any of my boyfriends through the years run their hands through my hair.

My problem is when my boyfriend wants to get crazy with it during our intimate moments. He is a puller and loves for me to wear my hair down, (he will pull my ponytail, buns, etc. free) which leaves it a tangled mess afterwards. He always looks at my hair and takes its state of unkemptness as a job well done.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I'm all for it. He even loves putting his face in my hair while standing behind me. Also loves it all over him during..that time I think one of the reasons guys like long hair is so they can play in it and feel it.

 

[discodumpling]

My hair type does not allow fingers to run through it...If allowed DH can squeeze, tug &pull but there is no running through these napps!

 

[MsLizziA]

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I don't have a man but I'll reply anyway (lol)

No, I wouldn't mind a man "running" his fingers thru my natural hair. I wouldn't have minded when I was relaxed either. I actually like it. The only hang-up I would have is if my hair was in need of a wash or I had product build-up. No one wants someone to touch their hair then rub excessive grease/oils off their fingers.

 

[divachyk]

when i was salon addicted, i would have been like heck no i just go it done! now that i care for my hair at home, i don't mind an occassional play with my hair moment as long as its not excessive or rough.

 

[Netta1]

My husband STAYS in my naps and I don't mind at all

In my opinion hair should NEVER be that serious...

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

ugh... this thread makes me feel lonely lol i miss having a man in my hair now lol

 

[Ms Kain]

Part of my healthy hair journey was psychological. I had to examine myself and break the age-old myths and beliefs and FEELINGS about my hair.

Part of it was embracing my new growth...loving it instead of dreading it.

The next was letting a black man put his fingers through my hair. I thought this out this way: if I was a guy, would I want to run my fingers through a girl's hair and come out greasy, or stuck? The answer was no, so I made sure my hair was up to MY standard for that.

Then regarding swimming. The black women gasped in horror, as I got off the lounge chair and actuallly went in the water, without swim cap and went under, under, under hair flowing behind me. The black men almost cheered. Mentally? "Its just hair, and it can be washed. I have a scrunchy in my purse and a comb...it'll be a cute puff. Now I'm gonna enjoy this swim."

Letting a white man run his fingers through my hair. This is not a problem at all. They love our hair and are generally accepting of the things we are most critical of about ourselves (my experience).

I say let him put his hands in your hair and try and enjoy it....it's liberating.

ITA!!! Whether it's regimen related or even psychological in nature, breaking down barriers and beliefs relating to our hair is definitely a process!!

Reading your post reminded me of what I was like before this forum. Back then I really wanted to let my man touch my hair but just like most of us, had he done so there's no telling what he would have drawn back so I used every excuse not to let him!erplexed But fast forward and now I can have him put his hands though it without stiffening or being uncomfortable and now I absolutely love it!

But what drew me to your post was when you talked about how the sistas acted when you jumped in the swimming pool! It reminded me of what happened to me at the last pool party we had! Before I jumped in, I'd already wet my hair and ran some LeKair Cholesterol Conditioner but when I jumped in and came out, I swear they looked at me like I was a science experiment! Hours later and I was still fielding questions like ,"WOWWwww gurl look at your hair... how did you do that?"

LOL!!!!! Each one, teach one.... that's what it's about ladies...and everytime one of us gets it together when it comes to our hair I am just as proud of them as I am of myself whenever I learn something new! Knowledge is freedom and you gotta love it!:sweet:

~ Hera (aka Ms. Kain)

 

[MsLizziA]

ITA!!! Whether it's regimen related or even psychological in nature, breaking down barriers and beliefs relating to our hair is definitely a process!!

Reading your post reminded me of what I was like before this forum. Back then I really wanted to let my man touch my hair but just like most of us, had he done so there's no telling what he would have drawn back so I used every excuse not to let him!erplexed But fast forward and now I can have him put his hands though it without stiffening or being uncomfortable and now I absolutely love it!

But what drew me to your post was when you talked about how the sistas acted when you jumped in the swimming pool! It reminded me of what happened to me at the last pool party we had! Before I jumped in, I'd already wet my hair and ran some LeKair Cholesterol Conditioner but when I jumped in and came out, I swear they looked at me like I was a science experiment! Hours later and I was still fielding questions like ,"WOWWwww gurl look at your hair... how did you do that?"

LOL!!!!! Each one, teach one.... that's what it's about ladies...and everytime one of us gets it together when it comes to our hair I am just as proud of them as I am of myself whenever I learn something new! Knowledge is freedom and you gotta love it!:sweet:

~ Hera (aka Ms. Kain)

 

[Hairsofab]

I don't think anyone could run their fingers through my hair including me. Or at least your fingers would get stuck.

 

[exubah]

I don't even play in my hair so I have a thing about others doing it.....my fiance (he's yt) has probably played in my hair once/twice in the 5 years we have been together. I almost always keep it in a bun anyways.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

This thread makes me think of an old BF I had... he was puerto rican but he looked white. Anyhoo, that was the first man who ever really wanted his hands in my hair like that. He LOVED my new growth especially. Once I had a fresh relaxer he had no desire to touch my hair until I had more NG grown in! (You'd think that would motivate me to go natural, but no. I was self-conscious and uncomfortable that he was feeling my "naps" SMH)

DH used to like to comb and play in my hair when it was relaxed, but hasn't had much chance to play in it since I've been so about PSing.

 

[Starronda]

My SO is Caucasian, so the first time he ran his fingers through my hair I was like..Wasnt use to it. I was so use to wearing weaves and wigs all the time and not letting anyone play in my hair..Now, I love and adore it