Renewing an old friendship: Advice pls

[Sarophina]

I'm conflicted on whether or not to renew my old friendship.
I was friends with this person since the 7th grade (I'm 25 now).

However, when I became saved three years ago, the Holy Spirit led me to cut ties with this person. It was nothing personal, she was just still in the world and living a disobedient life towards God. I was starting a new journey and relationship with God.

Well, it's been three years now and I would like to renew our friendship. I feel like now that I'm a strong believer, things will be different this time around.

However, I'm conflicted. I don't want to step back into the world again. She is still living a disobedient life before God.

On the otherhand, I may be a positive influence this time around. God has tremendously changed my life. I have so much to share with her, in regards to what the Lord is doing.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Is it wise to renew this friendship?

 

[mrselle]

I'm conflicted on whether or not to renew my old friendship.
I was friends with this person since the 7th grade (I'm 25 now).

However, when I became saved three years ago, the Holy Spirit led me to cut ties with this person. It was nothing personal, she was just still in the world and living a disobedient life towards God. I was starting a new journey and relationship with God.

Well, it's been three years now and I would like to renew our friendship. I feel like now that I'm a strong believer, things will be different this time around.

However, I'm conflicted. I don't want to step back into the world again. She is still living a disobedient life before God.

On the otherhand, I may be a positive influence this time around. God has tremendously changed my life. I have so much to share with her, in regards to what the Lord is doing.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Is it wise to renew this friendship?

Has the Holy Spirit led you to renew this friendship. You have changed, but your friend hasn't. I agree that you could be a positive influence in her life, but it has to be of God. If God isn't leading you to renew this friendship then you should wait until you know for sure that God wants you to rekindle the friendship.

 

[Shimmie]

Keep your friend in prayer and always be kind to her. However, do not go back to that friendship. God's Word says Iron Sharpens Iron... your friend is unable to sharpen your faith. You will find yourself yielding gradually to compromise to keep peace between you.

King Solomon made this very mistake. God warned him not to 'marry' those outside God. Though it is clear that this is not a 'marriage', it is still a convenant of friendship which you cannot afford to allow back into your life. as God's Word says... "Allow no Man to Steal Your Ground..."

Behold , I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast , that no man take thy crown ......... Revelation 3:11


Edit: "Allow no man to steal your 'Crown'... (not 'Ground')

I made a typo above....

 

[Sarophina]

Has the Holy Spirit led you to renew this friendship. You have changed, but your friend hasn't. I agree that you could be a positive influence in her life, but it has to be of God. If God isn't leading you to renew this friendship then you should wait until you know for sure that God wants you to rekindle the friendship.

I'm not sure if God wants me to renew the friendship. It's hard to discern because I still greatly value our old friendship. It's hard to discern between the fleshy desires and the Spirit this time. I agree though, until I'm fully sure that's God, then I shouldn't move forward. I can say I don't have complete peace in this decision.

 

[Sarophina]

Keep your friend in prayer and always be kind to her. However, do not go back to that friendship. God's Word says Iron Sharpens Iron... your friend is unable to sharpen your faith. You will find yourself yielding gradually to compromise to keep peace between you.

King Solomon made this very mistake. God warned him not to 'marry' those outside God. Though it is clear that this is not a 'marriage', it is still a convenant of friendship which you cannot afford to allow back into your life. as God's Word says... "Allow no Man to Steal Your Ground..."

Behold , I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast , that no man take thy crown ......... Revelation 3:11

You're right Shimmie. I've been trying to rationalize this decision to myself. She was one of my very best friends and I miss our companionship. I would love to be a Christian influence in her life. However, I know more than likely, I won't influence her for the better; she will influence me for the worse.

You're scriptural example is spot on! Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived and even he fell away from the Lord.
I don't want to compromise my faith to appease anyone and I know with this person that's exactly what I'll start doing. It's hard to deny myself and stay away. But, I love Jesus too much, to return back to Egypt.
His glory is my motivation for living.

Thanks for your response!

 

[Shimmie]

You're right Shimmie. I've been trying to rationalize this decision to myself. She was one of my very best friends and I miss our companionship. I would love to be a Christian influence in her life. However, I know more than likely, I won't influence her for the better; she will influence me for the worse.

You're scriptural example is spot on! Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived and even he fell away from the Lord.
I don't want to compromise my faith to appease anyone and I know with this person that's exactly what I'll start doing. It's hard to deny myself and stay away. But, I love Jesus too much, to return back to Egypt.
His glory is my motivation for living.

Thanks for your response!

I made a typo...

Instead of 'allow no man to steal your 'Ground',

It should read: allow no man to steal your 'Crown'....

Perhaps it's not a mistake, for we do have a solid ground in Jesus, for He is our solid ground, our solid rock upon which we stand.

Praise God anyway. I hope all is going well for you, precious one. You have a loving heart, so it's no small wonder that you have a heart for your friend.

God bless you.

 

[Spring]

Sarophina I was able to maintain a relationship with 3 out of 4 close friends after I became born again. The one that was the wildest one in the bunch and talked like a sailor would always find a way to get my number... because there was very little agreement, she would always ask "why don't you do this anymore... go there anymore" and I was always ready to answer her questions and let her know Christ loves her. She would call once every 2 years or so, because our conversations felt just as awkwards to her as they were to me. The last time she called, she said she was attending church and her vocabulary was very much improved...Lol.

My other 3 friendships of over 30yrs, weren't as challenging, but the adjustment wasn't easy for us, because I wasn't going to the clubs. We talk by phone 2-3 times a year because we live in different states now... 1 now is a Christian, the other 2 are Jehovah Witnesses (we pray for each other and agree to disagree).

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

it looks like you have your answer especially if you are still conflicted, which is because God hasn't released you to renew your friendship with this person, you want to maintain the relationship because your were friends most of your life it's human nature to want to preserve your old relationship, God calls us away frome everything that we knew, sometimes this may include our very own mother and father ...let him do what need to be done even though you may not understand it right now. Trust that he will send new friends your way, and maybe reunite you with some old ones...

 

[Shimmie]

I hope this is a blessing. My cousin sent this to me yesterday in an email. :Rose:

When to Turn Away



TODAY’S SCRIPTURE

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.” (Psalm 119:37, NIV)


TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

In order to live the life of victory God has promised, you have to be very selective about what you give your time and attention to. You have to recognize which thoughts to ignore, which comments to ignore, and sometimes, which people to ignore.

Every “battle” that comes across your path is not a battle that you’re supposed to fight. Many battles are simply distractions to try to lure you off course. If that battle is not between you and your God-given destiny, it’s a battle you should ignore.

Many people get thrown off course because they are always trying to straighten everyone else out or win their approval. But if that’s your focus, you are wasting valuable time and energy that you should be using to pursue your dreams.

Turn away from that distraction! You don’t need the approval of everyone around you; you only need God’s approval! Friend, it’s very freeing when you realize you don’t have to fight every battle.

You don’t have to straighten people out. You don’t have to pay somebody back. Instead, focus on what matters, focus on God and His Word so you can live in peace and happiness every day of your life!


A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father, thank You for ordering my steps. Thank You for planning good things for me. Help me to discern the things I should ignore. Help me to avoid distractions as I focus my heart and mind on You today in Jesus’ name. Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen

 

[Laela]

Sarophina, from personal experience... relationship either will end or evolve when we change. It doesn't mean as a Christian one must now have all Christian friends but we tend to gravitate or knit souls with other believers. Iron sharpens iron, but bad company also corrupts. If a person is spiritually draining, then something is wrong and it's good to seek God's guidance about the relationship itself. God had told Abraham to leave behind even his family members, because they didn't care to worship God. They would've kept him from accomplishing what God set him out to do. Thankfully, Abraham obeyed God.

No relationship should feel like a burden or a drain...that's a sign a relationship is not healthy or simply not for us. Doesn't make them bad, or us any better than they are.

 

[Sarophina]

Thanks ladies for your thoughtful replies.

Until, God says otherwise, I'm choosing not to renew this friendship. I'm in agreement that this is the wrong move to make at this time.

Abraham is def. a great example of biblical separation. He would not have made it to the promise land, if he had not departed from the wrong folks and places.

God is good and I'm trusting that he will bring the right people into my life at the right time. I'll just continue to stay in his will.