G
Guest
Guest
The only problem that I have with relaxers with self and professional is underprocessing.
I don't know why my hair is so resistant but I am consistantly underprocessed.
-
⏰ Welcome, Guest! You are viewing only 2 out of 27 total forums. Register today to view more, then Subscribe to view all forums, submit posts, reply to posts, create new threads, view photos, access private messages, change your avatar, create a photo album, customize your profile, and possibly be selected as our next Feature of the Month.
Relaxers: What was/is your experience with damage?
- Thread starter NapturalGlory
- Start date
⏳ Limited Access:
Register today to view all forum posts.
cherish
New Member
You mentioned breakage and excessive shedding as examples of bad experiences with relaxing. Here's the problem (I see) with that: many, many relaxed heads on this board post about experiencing these issues from time to time, but they don't associate them with relaxing.
Also, I'm not sure this is the best board to poll for objective responses.
Also, I'm not sure this is the best board to poll for objective responses.
sengschick
The Bun Master
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well my hair is in my avatar. There's no filler or foam in that bun, it's all my chemically treated hair
. I felt for a long time that chemical free would mean healthy, long hair for me. It didn't. I was losing way more hair as a natural on wash day trying to detangle and manage the bulk. I'm certain that despite my patience and diligence, I was breaking healthy hair. Once I came here I saw all of these beautiful heads of long, relaxed hair, I realized that chemicals can be managed w/o sacrificing the health of the hair.
This may not be a fair sample, b/c most of us use chemicals differently than the average woman. Many are stretching relaxers, texturing instead of breaking the protein down to the last chemical bond and using mild products to relax. My texturizer is soya and egg based for goodness sakes!
As far as post regarding such issues, I think both sets have equal share in hair complaints. I don't put much stock in those as a representation that the permies are suffering, b/c most of us here are highly sensitive to hair related issues. It doesn't take much before we sound an alarm and are told this is normal and natural, so get off the ledge!
I don't want this to turn into another natural v. permie thread. Our quest is the same, we're just taking different roads to get there.
I'm happy w/mine and I'm happy to know naturals are happy with theirs.
Bonne Chance!
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well my hair is in my avatar. There's no filler or foam in that bun, it's all my chemically treated hair
This may not be a fair sample, b/c most of us use chemicals differently than the average woman. Many are stretching relaxers, texturing instead of breaking the protein down to the last chemical bond and using mild products to relax. My texturizer is soya and egg based for goodness sakes!
As far as post regarding such issues, I think both sets have equal share in hair complaints. I don't put much stock in those as a representation that the permies are suffering, b/c most of us here are highly sensitive to hair related issues. It doesn't take much before we sound an alarm and are told this is normal and natural, so get off the ledge!
I don't want this to turn into another natural v. permie thread. Our quest is the same, we're just taking different roads to get there.
NewlyNature12
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
sengschick said:
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well my hair is in my avatar. There's no filler or foam in that bun, it's all my chemically treated hair
. I felt for a long time that chemical free would mean healthy, long hair for me. It didn't. I was losing way more hair as a natural on wash day trying to detangle and manage the bulk. I'm certain that despite my patience and diligence, I was breaking healthy hair. Once I came here I saw all of these beautiful heads of long, relaxed hair, I realized that chemicals can be managed w/o sacrificing the health of the hair.
This may not be a fair sample, b/c most of us use chemicals differently than the average woman. Many are stretching relaxers, texturing instead of breaking the protein down to the last chemical bond and using mild products to relax. My texturizer is soya and egg based for goodness sakes!
As far as post regarding such issues, I think both sets have equal share in hair complaints. I don't put much stock in those as a representation that the permies are suffering, b/c most of us here are highly sensitive to hair related issues. It doesn't take much before we sound an alarm and are told this is normal and natural, so get off the ledge!
I don't want this to turn into another natural v. permie thread. Our quest is the same, we're just taking different roads to get there.
I'm happy w/mine and I'm happy to know naturals are happy with theirs.
Bonne Chance!
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks so much for posting Sengschick. ITA!
[ QUOTE ]
sengschick said:
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well my hair is in my avatar. There's no filler or foam in that bun, it's all my chemically treated hair
This may not be a fair sample, b/c most of us use chemicals differently than the average woman. Many are stretching relaxers, texturing instead of breaking the protein down to the last chemical bond and using mild products to relax. My texturizer is soya and egg based for goodness sakes!
As far as post regarding such issues, I think both sets have equal share in hair complaints. I don't put much stock in those as a representation that the permies are suffering, b/c most of us here are highly sensitive to hair related issues. It doesn't take much before we sound an alarm and are told this is normal and natural, so get off the ledge!
I don't want this to turn into another natural v. permie thread. Our quest is the same, we're just taking different roads to get there.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks so much for posting Sengschick. ITA!
Re: Relaxers: your experience
I'm natural now but I never experienced all those kinds of problems and I know plenty of relaxed women who don't either. I think perhaps that the people who have a lot of problems with burning and scabbing, etc are people who are just plain much more sensitive to the chemicals - it could even be an allergic reaction. Even when I should have had hair coming out by the handfuls - relaxing, then colouring the next day (15 years ago in college) I had shedding, then I'd walk around the house every saturday for about a month in a plastic cap with cholesterol conditioner and voila - no more shedding! I also left the curling iron alone for a while and rolled my hair every night. Not very sophisticated methods, but enough to stop the shedding and then my hair was fine and continued to grow well. I think by that point I had already determined that the curling iron, though it gave me great curls and body, was the enemy!! So it's not at all difficult to believe that most of the relaxed ladies here haven't had all those problems. Not everyone is as sensitive to chemicals, food, etc. as others.
I'm natural now but I never experienced all those kinds of problems and I know plenty of relaxed women who don't either. I think perhaps that the people who have a lot of problems with burning and scabbing, etc are people who are just plain much more sensitive to the chemicals - it could even be an allergic reaction. Even when I should have had hair coming out by the handfuls - relaxing, then colouring the next day (15 years ago in college) I had shedding, then I'd walk around the house every saturday for about a month in a plastic cap with cholesterol conditioner and voila - no more shedding! I also left the curling iron alone for a while and rolled my hair every night. Not very sophisticated methods, but enough to stop the shedding and then my hair was fine and continued to grow well. I think by that point I had already determined that the curling iron, though it gave me great curls and body, was the enemy!! So it's not at all difficult to believe that most of the relaxed ladies here haven't had all those problems. Not everyone is as sensitive to chemicals, food, etc. as others.
moneychaser
Well-Known Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
Tracy said:
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
This just isn't a good place to ask, I guess.
The women here know how to take care of their hair, and what steps to take to avoid damage of any kind (scalp or otherwise), most of the time. That's how you get long hair after all, and that's what most of us are after here.
For the most part, we know what we're doing, so you're much less likely to get the results you expect.
Good thing for us though!
Go LHCF!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
bumping for NapturalGlory
[ QUOTE ]
Tracy said:
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
so according to this survery 65% of you have thick, healthy, beautiful relaxed hair that is growing out very well.
somehow, i find it hard to believe. but i'll bite my tongue and believe it cuz it's an honor system. i can't physically check out people's hair from behind a computer screen can i?
i know that for me, the chemicals whether mild regular or super or if applied by a "pro" or myself or a friend, were horribly disastrous and i am thankful i have moved on. occasionally i will use medium heat but i don't plan to ever wear my hair straight on a daily basis so heat damage is not an issue for me at all.
well, at least i can assume that most relaxed heads only occasionally or never experience scalp burns or breakage. so i guess i am assuming folks stick with what works for them.
[/ QUOTE ]
This just isn't a good place to ask, I guess.
The women here know how to take care of their hair, and what steps to take to avoid damage of any kind (scalp or otherwise), most of the time. That's how you get long hair after all, and that's what most of us are after here.
For the most part, we know what we're doing, so you're much less likely to get the results you expect.
Good thing for us though!
Go LHCF!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
bumping for NapturalGlory
Re: Relaxers: your experience
I only had one bad relaxer experience. The stylist and the product were the problem. Turns out the product was not compatible with my previous relaxer which is something that should have been determined during my consultation. And the stylist really had no clue what she was doing. I swear, I don't think she washed my hair and conditioned it after neutralizing (if she even did that). The third issue is me...for not speaking up when things didn't seem right.
I only had one bad relaxer experience. The stylist and the product were the problem. Turns out the product was not compatible with my previous relaxer which is something that should have been determined during my consultation. And the stylist really had no clue what she was doing. I swear, I don't think she washed my hair and conditioned it after neutralizing (if she even did that). The third issue is me...for not speaking up when things didn't seem right.
shoelover1972
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
Tracy said:
This just isn't a good place to ask, I guess.
The women here know how to take care of their hair, and what steps to take to avoid damage of any kind (scalp or otherwise), most of the time. That's how you get long hair after all, and that's what most of us are after here.
For the most part, we know what we're doing, so you're much less likely to get the results you expect.
Good thing for us though!
Go LHCF!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
ITA
I never experience burning / scaps etc now but I have in the past with other stylists. My hair is on good condition because of the following
LHCF (thanks ladies
) and therefore changing the way I treat my hair
I have found a good stylist
Extending re-touches
Ignoring the myths regarding how black hair should be treated
Of course this forum is going to have more relaxed healthy heads than the norm as that is the sole purpose of this site. Also what would be the point of giving and receiving advice if it did not work.
[ QUOTE ]
Tracy said:
This just isn't a good place to ask, I guess.
The women here know how to take care of their hair, and what steps to take to avoid damage of any kind (scalp or otherwise), most of the time. That's how you get long hair after all, and that's what most of us are after here.
For the most part, we know what we're doing, so you're much less likely to get the results you expect.
Good thing for us though!
Go LHCF!!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
ITA
I never experience burning / scaps etc now but I have in the past with other stylists. My hair is on good condition because of the following
LHCF (thanks ladies
I have found a good stylist
Extending re-touches
Ignoring the myths regarding how black hair should be treated
Of course this forum is going to have more relaxed healthy heads than the norm as that is the sole purpose of this site. Also what would be the point of giving and receiving advice if it did not work.
Mahalialee4
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
I remember years ago when my Aunt who raised me, had her hair relaxed. Now keep in mind she was in her 70s with hair to midback length and shining silver. Personally, she did not need a relaxer as her hair was very coarse and strong looking and not kinky, just crinkly wavy. My sister talked her into getting a relaxer to handle the bulk and so she could put it in rollers for a nice coiffure. She always wore it in Cherokee braids and it was strong hair, trust me. (Cherokee braids---one down each side and pinned under.) The first couple of days it looked great. Then, all of a sudden it started falling out in chunks from about the ears down...then big patches started coming out of her scalp. To make a long story short...it recovered...and started growing back and my sister talked her into trying it again about 2 years later. Same thing happened. Same stylist too. So what or who was the culprit? She never took a chance again. Now my hair is the same is the same length hers was when I stretch it out and hers was the length it was without stretching it. Also it is is very fine and delicate or sensitive, so it is not as strong as hers, so that is why I am such a nervous nellie about relaxing.) If my hair got jacked up like that, you all would be getting letters from the penitentiary about how to recover my hair, so my point is that it really depends on personal experiences and comfort levels and the bottom line is, as long as it is working for someone you will not persuade them to go natural anymore than any of the relaxed heads try to persuade us naturals to get relaxed. I love the tolerance and acceptance in this group, don't you? I do not think for one moment if some had not experienced damage that we would be having these conversations on a long hair site. Most of us would be relaxed heads, I think, because we would prefer the convenience of combouts, rollers and the ease of showing length. I know that if I had a one hundred per cent guarantee, I would relax to do a way with the shrinkage and I am not ashamed to say so. Why...because I LOVE LONG HAIR.
But this is just my opinion. Bonjour.
I remember years ago when my Aunt who raised me, had her hair relaxed. Now keep in mind she was in her 70s with hair to midback length and shining silver. Personally, she did not need a relaxer as her hair was very coarse and strong looking and not kinky, just crinkly wavy. My sister talked her into getting a relaxer to handle the bulk and so she could put it in rollers for a nice coiffure. She always wore it in Cherokee braids and it was strong hair, trust me. (Cherokee braids---one down each side and pinned under.) The first couple of days it looked great. Then, all of a sudden it started falling out in chunks from about the ears down...then big patches started coming out of her scalp. To make a long story short...it recovered...and started growing back and my sister talked her into trying it again about 2 years later. Same thing happened. Same stylist too. So what or who was the culprit? She never took a chance again. Now my hair is the same is the same length hers was when I stretch it out and hers was the length it was without stretching it. Also it is is very fine and delicate or sensitive, so it is not as strong as hers, so that is why I am such a nervous nellie about relaxing.) If my hair got jacked up like that, you all would be getting letters from the penitentiary about how to recover my hair, so my point is that it really depends on personal experiences and comfort levels and the bottom line is, as long as it is working for someone you will not persuade them to go natural anymore than any of the relaxed heads try to persuade us naturals to get relaxed. I love the tolerance and acceptance in this group, don't you? I do not think for one moment if some had not experienced damage that we would be having these conversations on a long hair site. Most of us would be relaxed heads, I think, because we would prefer the convenience of combouts, rollers and the ease of showing length. I know that if I had a one hundred per cent guarantee, I would relax to do a way with the shrinkage and I am not ashamed to say so. Why...because I LOVE LONG HAIR.
Bunny77
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
I do not think for one moment if some had not experienced damage that we would be having these conversations on a long hair site. Most of us would be relaxed heads, I think, because we would prefer the convenience of combouts, rollers and the ease of showing length. I know that if I had a one hundred per cent guarantee, I would relax to do a way with the shrinkage and I am not ashamed to say so. Why...because I LOVE LONG HAIR.
But this is just my opinion. Bonjour.
[/ QUOTE ]
I both agree and disagree with this statement. I was one who experienced damage with a relaxer and that was the original reason I went natural. However, I went natural with the full intention of going back to pressing my hair instead of wearing it nappy/natural.
BUT... the more I wore it out in its natural state, the more I loved it. And even if today, there was a relaxer invented that was 100% proven to not cause damage, I wouldn't use it.
I love my natural hair. And I do want long hair, but I want NATURAL long hair. I love shrinkage, I love puffiness and I find that to ME, having natural hair is much easier than relaxed.
On the occassions I do press my hair, I hate the upkeep I have to do with it (rolling it up at night or bumping it in the morning, wrapping it, avoiding getting it wet in the shower... and I had to do all of this while relaxed too). My hair routine is so much more simple and I think I look more beautiful now with natural hair. So do folks who've known me for a while.
I am only speaking for myself here, and not others. As I always say, if you want to wear a relaxer, then do you and be proud!
But please, do not assume that all of us on this board prefer relaxed hair or that everyone here finds relaxed hair easier to handle. Just as you might be offended by natural heads assuming that every relaxed head has damage, natural heads don't like hearing that relaxers would be our preferred choice.
[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
I do not think for one moment if some had not experienced damage that we would be having these conversations on a long hair site. Most of us would be relaxed heads, I think, because we would prefer the convenience of combouts, rollers and the ease of showing length. I know that if I had a one hundred per cent guarantee, I would relax to do a way with the shrinkage and I am not ashamed to say so. Why...because I LOVE LONG HAIR.
[/ QUOTE ]
I both agree and disagree with this statement. I was one who experienced damage with a relaxer and that was the original reason I went natural. However, I went natural with the full intention of going back to pressing my hair instead of wearing it nappy/natural.
BUT... the more I wore it out in its natural state, the more I loved it. And even if today, there was a relaxer invented that was 100% proven to not cause damage, I wouldn't use it.
I love my natural hair. And I do want long hair, but I want NATURAL long hair. I love shrinkage, I love puffiness and I find that to ME, having natural hair is much easier than relaxed.
On the occassions I do press my hair, I hate the upkeep I have to do with it (rolling it up at night or bumping it in the morning, wrapping it, avoiding getting it wet in the shower... and I had to do all of this while relaxed too). My hair routine is so much more simple and I think I look more beautiful now with natural hair. So do folks who've known me for a while.
I am only speaking for myself here, and not others. As I always say, if you want to wear a relaxer, then do you and be proud!
But please, do not assume that all of us on this board prefer relaxed hair or that everyone here finds relaxed hair easier to handle. Just as you might be offended by natural heads assuming that every relaxed head has damage, natural heads don't like hearing that relaxers would be our preferred choice.
Mahalialee4
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
My point was: damage from relaxers was the major or sole catalyst for many "becoming natural" and growing to love their hair. No damage....many would still be relaxed and think nothing of it. On any natural sites I have been on, and on sites where people are talking about transitioning...it was not the "initial LOVE of natural hair" that came first...it was the "CONCERN that RELAXERS were causing damage...(or that they were not "keeping it real", or touchups were too time consuming or expensive or whatever)...because if they had loved their natural hair so much why would they have ever relaxed it? Further, they would probably have never straightened it in any manner with heat, wore rollers to be and you name it, except that they wanted to achieve a certain look or style or for managebility. But with all respect, I believe that there was a catalyst that precipitated the CHANGE to wearing it natural. The "love" more often came LATER.
As for me, I have always loved my hair, it is not hard to comb or handle, it is very soft and wavy as is that of many naturals on the board... it just shrinks up and does not show the length. I would like for the length to stretch out, stay stretched out without a lot of manipulation, keep every wave I have and the texture and then it would be the one thing it is not at at all times...long.
Until enlightenment about your "natural hair" I do believe that at a different time in history "relaxers were at one time your "preferred choice". I do believe that you "learned about your hair and embraced it and learned to love it as part of self acceptance...and if you had never travelled the path of relaxer damaage ....that brought you to a crossroads....to get to where you are NOW...you would probably still be on the relaxer until a different catalyst for change came along. Remember I said ..."some, "most".... not "ALL" and not "EVERYONE." Why would I assume such a thing about every single individual?
With all due respect, if you are not a part of the "some", or "most, the "remark I made post was not personally directed at you or to you in the form of a judgement, and of course I would not assume that it applied to you or anyone else on this board who is not in the "most or some" catagory, and I was referring to the site as a whole, not just this thread, so please ignore the parts that do not apply, and in return, I will not assume that you are speaking for "All natural heads...or the preferred choices of All Natural Heads or the whole site, or that I have offended anyone at all by posting an opinion." I have found that the ladies on this site are very special, well informed and non judgemental and not quick to take offense, so, No, I would not assume such a thing.
Peace and Happy Hair Growing to you. I hope you achieve all your goals as well.
Bonjour
My point was: damage from relaxers was the major or sole catalyst for many "becoming natural" and growing to love their hair. No damage....many would still be relaxed and think nothing of it. On any natural sites I have been on, and on sites where people are talking about transitioning...it was not the "initial LOVE of natural hair" that came first...it was the "CONCERN that RELAXERS were causing damage...(or that they were not "keeping it real", or touchups were too time consuming or expensive or whatever)...because if they had loved their natural hair so much why would they have ever relaxed it? Further, they would probably have never straightened it in any manner with heat, wore rollers to be and you name it, except that they wanted to achieve a certain look or style or for managebility. But with all respect, I believe that there was a catalyst that precipitated the CHANGE to wearing it natural. The "love" more often came LATER.
As for me, I have always loved my hair, it is not hard to comb or handle, it is very soft and wavy as is that of many naturals on the board... it just shrinks up and does not show the length. I would like for the length to stretch out, stay stretched out without a lot of manipulation, keep every wave I have and the texture and then it would be the one thing it is not at at all times...long.
Until enlightenment about your "natural hair" I do believe that at a different time in history "relaxers were at one time your "preferred choice". I do believe that you "learned about your hair and embraced it and learned to love it as part of self acceptance...and if you had never travelled the path of relaxer damaage ....that brought you to a crossroads....to get to where you are NOW...you would probably still be on the relaxer until a different catalyst for change came along. Remember I said ..."some, "most".... not "ALL" and not "EVERYONE." Why would I assume such a thing about every single individual?
With all due respect, if you are not a part of the "some", or "most, the "remark I made post was not personally directed at you or to you in the form of a judgement, and of course I would not assume that it applied to you or anyone else on this board who is not in the "most or some" catagory, and I was referring to the site as a whole, not just this thread, so please ignore the parts that do not apply, and in return, I will not assume that you are speaking for "All natural heads...or the preferred choices of All Natural Heads or the whole site, or that I have offended anyone at all by posting an opinion." I have found that the ladies on this site are very special, well informed and non judgemental and not quick to take offense, so, No, I would not assume such a thing.
nurseN98
Ayiti cherie
Re: Relaxers: your experience
I relaxed my hair for years and never really experienced to much damage. I did burn my scalp though the last time I relaxed (before deciding to transition) mainly due to lazyness. I didn't base my head all that well....me gettin lazy was the main reason I decided to stop relaxin
I relaxed my hair for years and never really experienced to much damage. I did burn my scalp though the last time I relaxed (before deciding to transition) mainly due to lazyness. I didn't base my head all that well....me gettin lazy was the main reason I decided to stop relaxin
Bunny77
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
My point was: damage from relaxers was the major or sole catalyst for many "becoming natural" and growing to love their hair. No damage....many would still be relaxed and think nothing of it. On any natural sites I have been on, and on sites where people are talking about transitioning...it was not the "initial LOVE of natural hair" that came first...it was the "CONCERN that RELAXERS were causing damage...(or that they were not "keeping it real", or touchups were too time consuming or expensive or whatever)...because if they had loved their natural hair so much why would they have ever relaxed it? Further, they would probably have never straightened it in any manner with heat, wore rollers to be and you name it, except that they wanted to achieve a certain look or style or for managebility. But with all respect, I believe that there was a catalyst that precipitated the CHANGE to wearing it natural. The "love" more often came LATER.
As for me, I have always loved my hair, it is not hard to comb or handle, it is very soft and wavy as is that of many naturals on the board... it just shrinks up and does not show the length. I would like for the length to stretch out, stay stretched out without a lot of manipulation, keep every wave I have and the texture and then it would be the one thing it is not at at all times...long.
Until enlightenment about your "natural hair" I do believe that at a different time in history "relaxers were at one time your "preferred choice". I do believe that you "learned about your hair and embraced it and learned to love it as part of self acceptance...and if you had never travelled the path of relaxer damaage ....that brought you to a crossroads....to get to where you are NOW...you would probably still be on the relaxer until a different catalyst for change came along. Remember I said ..."some, "most".... not "ALL" and not "EVERYONE." Why would I assume such a thing about every single individual?
With all due respect, if you are not a part of the "some", or "most, the "remark I made post was not personally directed at you or to you in the form of a judgement, and of course I would not assume that it applied to you or anyone else on this board who is not in the "most or some" catagory, and I was referring to the site as a whole, not just this thread, so please ignore the parts that do not apply, and in return, I will not assume that you are speaking for "All natural heads...or the preferred choices of All Natural Heads or the whole site, or that I have offended anyone at all by posting an opinion." I have found that the ladies on this site are very special, well informed and non judgemental and not quick to take offense, so, No, I would not assume such a thing.
Peace and Happy Hair Growing to you. I hope you achieve all your goals as well.
Bonjour
[/ QUOTE ]
Hi again Mahalialee4!
Thanks for responding.
I respect your opinion, and want to clarify mine. When I responded to your statement, I wasn't speaking for myself only, I was speaking of the variety of women in my circle who have gone natural. I have relaxed and natural friends/family/acquaintances/enemies/co-workers/etc. and a common thread I hear from the natural ones is that they would never go back to a relaxer again, even if there was no damage. Now maybe your experience with natural colleagues was different, but I responded the way I did because I felt that your assertion about what most natural heads would do wasn't necessarily accurate. I'm sure there are a good number of natural heads who would return to relaxers if they didn't cause damage, as I'm sure there are an equal number that would not under any circumstances.
I think that's why we all have to be careful about speaking almost definitively about others' choices and experiences because we may be assuming incorrectly.
Now, about my earlier preferred choice to be relaxed... I think this part goes a little deeper for all black women, no matter what we are choosing to do now. I honestly can't say I really thought I had a choice between relaxed and natural (by natural, I mean non-pressed) until I reached adulthood. The only people I know who were natural were either...
1. Biracial
2. 70s militant holdovers
3. People with major health problems, like having chemo, etc. (like one girl in high school who had a hair fungus and had to cut her hair totally off).
Since I fit none of those categories, I just got my hair blown out or pressed until age 13 and then relaxed from 13-20. The natural styles I did see were unattractive to me, because they were all the almost-bald Caesar cut. There were also few products geared toward styling long natural hair.
Growing up in an all-black community where everyone either was pressed or relaxed, that's simply what I thought everyone did. I never even felt I had a choice between going natural or wearing my hair straight.
Now, I think the climate is much better for black hair choices. Natural hair styles are better than ever. Braid technology is great. Weave technology is improving and relaxers have become less damaging than in the past. New products are being developed that address the needs of all kinds of black hair. Dominicans are showing us AAs new products and methods of styling.
In summary, I think there is truly a CHOICE now as opposed to in the past. So while, technically, relaxing was the preferred choice in the past for a lot of us, I think we can't really say that it's always an informed choice for many, especially if you see the other choice (natural) as being something ugly and bad.
Now that I do have the ability to make an informed choice, I choose natural, even with improved relaxer technology and knowledge on how to protect and strengthen my hair to grow it long. So do many others. Many others do not.
It's all good no matter what.
I hope I explained a little better where I'm coming from
[ QUOTE ]
Mahalialee4 said:
My point was: damage from relaxers was the major or sole catalyst for many "becoming natural" and growing to love their hair. No damage....many would still be relaxed and think nothing of it. On any natural sites I have been on, and on sites where people are talking about transitioning...it was not the "initial LOVE of natural hair" that came first...it was the "CONCERN that RELAXERS were causing damage...(or that they were not "keeping it real", or touchups were too time consuming or expensive or whatever)...because if they had loved their natural hair so much why would they have ever relaxed it? Further, they would probably have never straightened it in any manner with heat, wore rollers to be and you name it, except that they wanted to achieve a certain look or style or for managebility. But with all respect, I believe that there was a catalyst that precipitated the CHANGE to wearing it natural. The "love" more often came LATER.
As for me, I have always loved my hair, it is not hard to comb or handle, it is very soft and wavy as is that of many naturals on the board... it just shrinks up and does not show the length. I would like for the length to stretch out, stay stretched out without a lot of manipulation, keep every wave I have and the texture and then it would be the one thing it is not at at all times...long.
Until enlightenment about your "natural hair" I do believe that at a different time in history "relaxers were at one time your "preferred choice". I do believe that you "learned about your hair and embraced it and learned to love it as part of self acceptance...and if you had never travelled the path of relaxer damaage ....that brought you to a crossroads....to get to where you are NOW...you would probably still be on the relaxer until a different catalyst for change came along. Remember I said ..."some, "most".... not "ALL" and not "EVERYONE." Why would I assume such a thing about every single individual?
With all due respect, if you are not a part of the "some", or "most, the "remark I made post was not personally directed at you or to you in the form of a judgement, and of course I would not assume that it applied to you or anyone else on this board who is not in the "most or some" catagory, and I was referring to the site as a whole, not just this thread, so please ignore the parts that do not apply, and in return, I will not assume that you are speaking for "All natural heads...or the preferred choices of All Natural Heads or the whole site, or that I have offended anyone at all by posting an opinion." I have found that the ladies on this site are very special, well informed and non judgemental and not quick to take offense, so, No, I would not assume such a thing.
[/ QUOTE ]
Hi again Mahalialee4!
I respect your opinion, and want to clarify mine. When I responded to your statement, I wasn't speaking for myself only, I was speaking of the variety of women in my circle who have gone natural. I have relaxed and natural friends/family/acquaintances/enemies/co-workers/etc. and a common thread I hear from the natural ones is that they would never go back to a relaxer again, even if there was no damage. Now maybe your experience with natural colleagues was different, but I responded the way I did because I felt that your assertion about what most natural heads would do wasn't necessarily accurate. I'm sure there are a good number of natural heads who would return to relaxers if they didn't cause damage, as I'm sure there are an equal number that would not under any circumstances.
I think that's why we all have to be careful about speaking almost definitively about others' choices and experiences because we may be assuming incorrectly.
Now, about my earlier preferred choice to be relaxed... I think this part goes a little deeper for all black women, no matter what we are choosing to do now. I honestly can't say I really thought I had a choice between relaxed and natural (by natural, I mean non-pressed) until I reached adulthood. The only people I know who were natural were either...
1. Biracial
2. 70s militant holdovers
3. People with major health problems, like having chemo, etc. (like one girl in high school who had a hair fungus and had to cut her hair totally off).
Since I fit none of those categories, I just got my hair blown out or pressed until age 13 and then relaxed from 13-20. The natural styles I did see were unattractive to me, because they were all the almost-bald Caesar cut. There were also few products geared toward styling long natural hair.
Growing up in an all-black community where everyone either was pressed or relaxed, that's simply what I thought everyone did. I never even felt I had a choice between going natural or wearing my hair straight.
Now, I think the climate is much better for black hair choices. Natural hair styles are better than ever. Braid technology is great. Weave technology is improving and relaxers have become less damaging than in the past. New products are being developed that address the needs of all kinds of black hair. Dominicans are showing us AAs new products and methods of styling.
In summary, I think there is truly a CHOICE now as opposed to in the past. So while, technically, relaxing was the preferred choice in the past for a lot of us, I think we can't really say that it's always an informed choice for many, especially if you see the other choice (natural) as being something ugly and bad.
Now that I do have the ability to make an informed choice, I choose natural, even with improved relaxer technology and knowledge on how to protect and strengthen my hair to grow it long. So do many others. Many others do not.
It's all good no matter what.
I hope I explained a little better where I'm coming from
Re: Relaxers: your experience
Great post Bunny77!!! I was natural from birth to 11 then I got the shh...........Jheri Curl!!! I grew that out long and sported that (no, mine wasn't greasy!) from 11 to 18, then relaxed it! Interestingly enough, I got the relaxer put over the curl and still didn't experience a lot of horrible breakage. I got it cut quite a bit though, so I think they cut out a lot of the curl, but there was definitely some overlapping. But I didn't want them cutting all my hair off...........so I just walked around with my plastic cap and cholesterol and had no breakage and good grwoth and in less than a year went from a short "halle" to shoulder length. Now as a natural my goal is to get to brastrap! The longest my hair has ever been was 2 inches to brastrap, and it was still growing healthily so I know I can do it. I may texturize it later on so I can really see the growth better! Right now I'm at almost 4 inches from scalp to ends at any given point on my head so it's bottom of neck length in the back and I just big chopped in April! Yippy!!!I can't wait for it to grow so much longer!!!
Great post Bunny77!!! I was natural from birth to 11 then I got the shh...........Jheri Curl!!! I grew that out long and sported that (no, mine wasn't greasy!) from 11 to 18, then relaxed it! Interestingly enough, I got the relaxer put over the curl and still didn't experience a lot of horrible breakage. I got it cut quite a bit though, so I think they cut out a lot of the curl, but there was definitely some overlapping. But I didn't want them cutting all my hair off...........so I just walked around with my plastic cap and cholesterol and had no breakage and good grwoth and in less than a year went from a short "halle" to shoulder length. Now as a natural my goal is to get to brastrap! The longest my hair has ever been was 2 inches to brastrap, and it was still growing healthily so I know I can do it. I may texturize it later on so I can really see the growth better! Right now I'm at almost 4 inches from scalp to ends at any given point on my head so it's bottom of neck length in the back and I just big chopped in April! Yippy!!!I can't wait for it to grow so much longer!!!
NapturalGlory
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
i am sorry if this thread is causing others to feel a negative condescending vibe about their relaxed hair. i really am just curious to understand the experience of those who have relaxer damage. i really am shocked at the numbers simply cuz relaxers are what they are and most black women where i live experience some form of damage regularly or occasionally. i understand how this can be seen as degrading but if you truly don't experience this damage then this poll isn't focused on you. as a natural i will be looked at warily on this forum because this is a forum that reflects the default values of the black community which often means a preference for relaxed, straightened, texturized, or naturally curly hair. again, i am sorry to offend those who took me so seriously. i was explaining my opinion from my own experience and honestly relaxers have a caution statement regarding burning so it is not like i was coming out of a hat with it.
have a great day and don't let one lil old poll get you down... i should have been much more sensitive to the possibility that this thread could be misconstrued. message boards can be hard to decipher if you know what i mean. i know some of you think i am now a troll or a militant natural. i did pay the $5 fee and i don't regard myself as militant because i don't try to "recruit" others i know to go natural in my daily life.
i am sorry if this thread is causing others to feel a negative condescending vibe about their relaxed hair. i really am just curious to understand the experience of those who have relaxer damage. i really am shocked at the numbers simply cuz relaxers are what they are and most black women where i live experience some form of damage regularly or occasionally. i understand how this can be seen as degrading but if you truly don't experience this damage then this poll isn't focused on you. as a natural i will be looked at warily on this forum because this is a forum that reflects the default values of the black community which often means a preference for relaxed, straightened, texturized, or naturally curly hair. again, i am sorry to offend those who took me so seriously. i was explaining my opinion from my own experience and honestly relaxers have a caution statement regarding burning so it is not like i was coming out of a hat with it.
have a great day and don't let one lil old poll get you down... i should have been much more sensitive to the possibility that this thread could be misconstrued. message boards can be hard to decipher if you know what i mean. i know some of you think i am now a troll or a militant natural. i did pay the $5 fee and i don't regard myself as militant because i don't try to "recruit" others i know to go natural in my daily life.
Mahalialee4
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
Bonjour
Mahalialee4
New Member
Re: Relaxers: your experience
Don't worry NapturalGlory...I am a natural too and I do not think that anyone was offended...sometimes people feel passionate about things and want to make sure they are clearly understood and they then move on with no hard feelings. I do not think negatively of you and I am sure that the ladies on here are bigger than that since you were respectful and all. Have a good day, okay.
Bonjour
Don't worry NapturalGlory...I am a natural too and I do not think that anyone was offended...sometimes people feel passionate about things and want to make sure they are clearly understood and they then move on with no hard feelings. I do not think negatively of you and I am sure that the ladies on here are bigger than that since you were respectful and all. Have a good day, okay.
Similar threads
