Relaxed heads = the odd chick out?

[Britt]

Just curious...how can you tell between relaxed and straightened naturals? I've seen some chewed up looking hair that was straightened to within an inch of its life that was completely natural and also some full, thick, healthy looking relaxed hair...so I can't always tell the difference when looking.

That too! There are straightened naturals that you wouldn't know just looking at their hair.

 

[candy626]

I love a healthy relaxed head of hair. There are relaxed ladies on the board who make me think I may relax again. I don't see great relaxed heads on the streets though. I know they exist outside of LHCF, but I just don't see them. Most of the (visibly) relaxed heads I see in real life are in that micro ponytail where they gel the sides and back up but it's still hanging down anyway.

Lol.

I see a mix here in North Carolina. There are a lot more natural heads here then five years ago. I always saw men and women with dread/locs here but now I am seeing a lot more regular natural hair which I think is great.

However I can't really tell the difference between straightened naturals and relaxed heads. Several straightened naturals I've come across appeared to be dealing with just as much retention issues and heat damage as the a typical relaxed head.

I also see plenty of wigs and sometimes weaves. A lot of ladies around this area wear shorter weave (above apl) that doesn't really stand out, so it's sometimes hard for me to tell. I have also seen my fair share of crazy looking over the top lace fronts. Sheesh

 

[sunnieb]

These days, I feel like every time I see a black woman she is wearing a natural style, so much so that the ladies with relaxed hair stick out to me like they don't belong.

Me and my fabulously beautiful relaxed hair get in where we fit in. I don't feel like I stick out at all. I'm glad black women are taking better care of however they wear their hair.

Okay, so this isn't a relaxer bashing thread. Just an observation.

I can respect your observation. You're natural, so you might be more drawn to all the naturals you see. Relaxicalistas are still out there in full force and they aren't all chewed up and dry. Even before LHCF, I beat my hair into submission in order to look decent when I went out. Was it healthy - no, but I looked good!

I work in midtown Manhattan, for those out of NYC, this is a major corporate and financial hub. Even here I see natural ladies (and a lot of professional looking wigs) walking around at lunchtime in business suits. So I have been finding myself looking extra hard at the relaxed ladies...noticing all sorts of over processing, breakage, and making a mental note when I see a healthy relaxed head. LOL. (I am not against relaxers, I am against bad hair care practices). I don't think this is just a symptom of being a LHCFer because I've been a lurker for years but maybe as it's become more common to see US with healthy strands, the ladies with weak brittle, bone straight strands start to stick out like a sore thumb.

Seek and you shall find. If you look extra hard at naturals, you'd find some dried up thirsty strands as well.

Anyone else starting to feel this way?

No.

 

[ajw827]

It has nothing to do with relaxed or natural. It's all about care. Relaxed or natural, if you are taking care of it, it looks nice.

I work downtown D.C. and most other black female lawyers I come across are relaxed like me and the majority of them have gorgeous, lustrous, real hair that is relaxed, not a wig or weave. It doesn't look dry or broken because these are women who are under a microscope daily and know they have to keep it tight.

At the same time, I have seen women wear their natural hair and it looks a mess because they don't care for it. You can see a sort of film of all the products they put in it and it doesn't look like it's had a comb in it for days on end.

So like I said, it's all about the care you put into it, not whether it's relaxed or natural.

 

[greenandchic]

@BraunSugar
Really? That's disappointing to hear. I just moved back to the Seattle area literally a day ago. This is my first time being back since going natural and before I did seem to recall seeing a lot of damaged hair but I didn't seem to notice the lack of naturals since I was still relaxed then. I wonder if it has something to do with curly/kinky women maintaining straight hair in humid/wet weather. I know that's how my relaxed hair got super damaged.

I wonder that too. I'm in PDX and it does rain a lot, but its also very dry at the same time. We may have a few spring/summer days where its a bit humid, but its never extreme. Dry weather is not good for my hair so I'm constantly moisturizing it.

 

[sylver2]

all i see are the usual shiny weaves or the big overdoing it kinky weaves. or greasy looking har. i noticed a lot have very greasy, oily looking hair.

 

[danysedai]

Here in my city in Canada, I see very few naturals (Hi Mandy!!), LOTS of wigs and weaves (good and bad), braids, very few nice relaxed heads, long or short (many chewed up, gelled down relaxed hair).
But there's not a lot of black people either.

 

[yorkpatties]

Me and my fabulously beautiful relaxed hair get in where we fit in. I don't feel like I stick out at all. I'm glad black women are taking better care of however they wear their hair.

I can respect your observation. You're natural, so you might be more drawn to all the naturals you see. Relaxicalistas are still out there in full force and they aren't all chewed up and dry. Even before LHCF, I beat my hair into submission in order to look decent when I went out. Was it healthy - no, but I looked good!

Seek and you shall find. If you look extra hard at naturals, you'd find some dried up thirsty strands as well.

No.

I do live and work in majority white areas. So when I do see a Black woman my attention gravitates towards them anyhow. And the majority I come across during a given week are natural. Just my own personal circumstances. Not trying to play one group against the other. Just this morning I saw 2 Black ladies on the subway with TWA's (I typically ride with Asians and Whites so yes they stood out) and there was nothing thirsty about their strands. LoL. Isn't that the luxury of a TWA? I know it was for me, to water my head like a house plant!

 

[Evolving78]

all i see is bad weaves/wigs or short hair cuts. i am in the minority. (natural or relaxed real hair)

 

[Cheekychica]

Here in my city in Canada, I see very few naturals (Hi Mandy!!), LOTS of wigs and weaves (good and bad), braids, very few nice relaxed heads, long or short (many chewed up, gelled down relaxed hair).
But there's not a lot of black people either.

I feel like I'm the only black woman with natural hair in my city. When I'm wearing my natural hair, I stand out everywhere...not sure I like that. I even get looks from other black women.

 

[kinkycurlygurl]

I'm in Queens, healthy hair is the exception not the rule. I see a lot of weaves around my neighborhood on a day to day basis. How the weaves look ranges from, "wow, that's a great look for her," to "holy crap, was she in some kind of accident?!" There's a woman at my job, whose hairline starts roughly in the middle of her head from years of weave wearing. She's still getting those weaves.

Women who are not wearing weaves generally have really beat up relaxed hair. Some of it is truly cringe worthy. In the last week I can count the number of healthy looking heads of relaxed hair I've seen in my travels around my neighborhood on one hand.

And don't get me started on the wigs. I've seen way too many fake, hat o' hair looking wigs sauntering down the main shopping street around my way.

I'm not against wigs, weaves, or relaxers. I'm totally against poor hair care practices and crappy looking hair.

 

[Anavrin]

Yeah i see a lot of naturals here....

and by naturals i mean women who are COMPLETELY BALD.

Now, dont get fired up because theres nothing wrong with starting over, but these people only started over because they tried to do that Ciara (Or whichever celeb started it, I credit Salt n Peppa) half shaved thing. Hell, white folks were doing it here for awhile. After awhile, instead of trying to grow it out and look like a fool, they just shaved it.... and tried to do an Amber Rose...

The rest have that jacked up plastic looking weave, which is usually an odd, bright color, in homage to Nicki Minaj.

And then we get the few and far between who actually do have real long hair. I saw a BSL girl at the mall the other day. There are also the few who get a really good weave, and look fantastic. Then again, I dont live in the best of areas, Im POSITIVE theres a more natural scene in the heart of St. Louis.

 

[Loving]

Women who are not wearing weaves generally have really beat up relaxed hair. Some of it is truly cringe worthy.

It's sad isn't it? I was talking to my sister recently and she mentioned that she thought that relaxed hair IS supposed to look beat up and disheveled a couple of weeks after getting a T/U.

I told her ....relaxed hair can look swanging and fly even the day before T/U. She was shocked. She's natural BTW...

 

[wavezncurlz]

I'm in the Bay Area. 20 years ago my friends didn't even want to be seen with me and laughed when I ditched the creamy crack and chopped for the first time in 1992 I LOVE how the times are a-changing.

Here, I'm seeing a lot of sisters with natural-LOOKING weaves or wigs. I do give credit for those that sport the natural look at least. Heck, I got a kinky half-wig for when I wanna fill out my fro on a Saturday night.

I think a lot seems to be on the social sub-groups people are in. I see many into the superstars (youngsters mostly) seem to sport the waist length silky bone straight weave (and have the clothes and spiked heels to match). Bohemians and artsy types might sport their natural coils/curls. Professionals are mixed between TWAs and the conservative weave/wig.

Generalizations all of these, but I think you get the idea. Deepends on what area you go to out here too... but there ARE more naturals.

That said, I see lots of relaxers on my generation (late 30s, early 40s). They don't seem to be too big on the weave.

But am thrilled that more naturals are showing off what the good lord gave 'em...and that I'm no longer the one being gawked at for having a natural

I'm like you - natural when it wasn't cool to be. No one ever made fun of me but it was pretty clear I was in the minority. Now everyone comes to me for advice. At my last bookclub, the women have slowly come over to the natural side and I counted only one relaxed woman. It is really funny in a way. I'm sure that the tide will turn because I was also sporting an afro in the 80s when folks started doing jheri curls. I'm sure I'll be in the minority again as a naturl - cuz I just can't do relaxers ever again.

I'm in DC/MD and I see everything. At work, I have one relaxed friend and the other black women I run into are loc'd or weaved up. On the metro, I see tons of bad weaves -especially on blacks who are immigrants. When I'm in Adams Morgan, U Street area, or other trendy section, I see tons of great natural styles. I see more relaxers near the government buildings in SW. It's the gamut. That said, I admire hair that looks healthy regardless of chemical use or not.

 

[Raspberry]

The downside to having healthy looking relaxed hair with some length is that people just assume you've always had nice hair or that you have a magical stylist.

When I was natural I would get curious questions about products and styling because people know natural hair care is usually DIY. But now that I'm relaxed again I get compliments but women never ask me for hair tips outright and I can sense a lot of these women are resigned to having mediocre looking hair. I so want to tell these women that their relaxed hair can look better with some basic techniques and a different mindset but I don't want to be pushy.

wavezncurlz I love visiting the DMV area and seeing the variety of styles and looks represented among black women .

 

[greenandchic]

I'm like you - natural when it wasn't cool to be. No one ever made fun of me but it was pretty clear I was in the minority. Now everyone comes to me for advice. At my last bookclub, the women have slowly come over to the natural side and I counted only one relaxed woman. It is really funny in a way. I'm sure that the tide will turn because I was also sporting an afro in the 80s when folks started doing jheri curls. I'm sure I'll be in the minority again as a naturl - cuz I just can't do relaxers ever again.

I'm in DC/MD and I see everything. At work, I have one relaxed friend and the other black women I run into are loc'd or weaved up. On the metro, I see tons of bad weaves -especially on blacks who are immigrants. When I'm in Adams Morgan, U Street area, or other trendy section, I see tons of great natural styles. I see more relaxers near the government buildings in SW. It's the gamut. That said, I admire hair that looks healthy regardless of chemical use or not.

Funny, I've noticed this too no matter where I am: black immigrants with horrible doll hair, half glued in, matted weave and wigs.

 

[yorkpatties]

The downside to having healthy looking relaxed hair with some length is that people just assume you've always had nice hair or that you have a magical stylist.

When I was natural I would get curious questions about products and styling because people know natural hair care is usually DIY.

Very good point, if you have fly relaxed hair people will want to know where you get it done.
But I wonder if this is because many relaxed ladies put their hairs life solely in the hands of their stylist. Many relaxed girls I know won't even wash their hair on their own. Whereas if you're a natural and doing things on your own you may just be more inclined to seek knowledge about hair products/practices.

 

[greenandchic]

Very good point, if you have fly relaxed hair people will want to know where you get it done.
But I wonder if this is because many relaxed ladies put their hairs life solely in the hands of their stylist. Many relaxed girls I know won't even wash their hair on their own. Whereas if you're a natural and doing things on your own you may just be more inclined to seek knowledge about hair products/practices.

This, or just doing a really bad job DIY and don't feel that they can do better unless the put out $$$ for a magical stylist.

I've seen a lot of really bad home jobs.