Relax Or Nah

movingforward13

movingforward13

I do what I want...
My hair is in twist extensions for this last week. I originally planned on being a straight natural - using heat 1-2 times a month to straighten my hair and wearing my hair in protective styles like a high donut bun. However, I am having a very hard time finding a salon that knows how to manage natural hair. I am considering relaxing....

When I relaxed in the past- I use to relax every 4 weeks and used a flat iron when needed without a protectant. My hair would always break off in the back left side, so I would stop and re-braid until I couldn't take braiding any more then relaxed. NOW I KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WRONG. Too frequent relaxing, frequent use of flat iron, not oiling or moisturizing my hair daily, not wearing a scarf each night at bed time. No wonder my poor hair was breaking off. I wasn't taking care of it.

So I am wondering if I should just try again knowing everything that I know now about hair care. Relax ladies- what is your regiment to care for your hair that is different from natural ladies?
 
Honestly, I think you answered your own question with this entire paragraph:


"When I relaxed in the past- I use to relax every 4 weeks and used a flat iron when needed without a protectant. My hair would always break off in the back left side, so I would stop and re-braid until I couldn't take braiding any more then relaxed. NOW I KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WRONG. Too frequent relaxing, frequent use of flat iron, not oiling or moisturizing my hair daily, not wearing a scarf each night at bed time. No wonder my poor hair was breaking off. I wasn't taking care of it".

You've made it this far without relaxing, so why stop now? I suggest you do further research into heat-training your hair on your own. Check out YT for the latest heat training methods, styling tools, take notes, and try it out for yourself. In the end, you'll learn a useful hair skill and save $$$$ by refraining from hair salons and becoming a DIYer.

And as we all know....ONCE YOU RELAX, You can't go back! (well technically you CAN go back...with or without the big chop..but ask yourself...do you REALLY want to go through that process? lol)
 
I vote nah. Keep looking for a good natural stylist. I am a straight haired natural and I go to Dominican salons. Do you have any in your area?
 
I couldn't be a straight haired natural. I have a very coily texture, so a lot of heat would need to be applied, and I would have issues with reversion. Plus I was my hair too frequently. I would loc my hair or would always be in twists. I say, don't go the stick pin bonelaxed look. If your hair still has some texture, it will be a lot stronger. Wash and sets work best. Roller sets!
 
D.Lisha said:
You've made it this far without relaxing, so why stop now? I suggest you do further research into heat-training your hair on your own. Check out YT for the latest heat training methods, styling tools, take notes, and try it out for yourself. In the end, you'll learn a useful hair skill and save $$$$ by refraining from hair salons and becoming a DIYer.
Click to expand...
I definitely would love to do my own hair myself but since I am brand new to all of this and I start a new job in exactly a week, I don't have the confidence yet to DIY. Plus- I think I need some of my hair trimmed.
But that is definitely a long term goal- I would like to stop spending thousands a year on doing my hair by doing it myself.

@shortdub78 My hair is very coily too but it is "straight" now due to my last relaxer in 2013 and constant braiding. I recently did the hair test on one of my loose hairs and it shrunk about 50% but no definite coil pattern appeared. My hair does not need a lot of heat to go straight but it will scrunch back up if there is humidity. I am not sure what is reversion. I will definitely use rollers to avoid using the flat iron as much.
 
I'm relaxed but say do what makes sense for you that will make you happiest in the long run. I'm certain relaxed and natural has it advantages & disadvantages...it's all about what is best for you. Make a list of pros and cons as you see them and go with the lesser of the two evils.
 
Ok D. lisha- you gave me some courage. I took my hair out and attempting this myself. If I mess up real bad then I have this weekend to find a Dominican stylist
 
I say "nah" because your main reason is that you can't find a stylist. Even when I was relaxed and lived in a major metropolitan area (NYC/NJ) I still couldn't find a good stylist. Most stylists (outside of LHCF) are clueless. Its well worth learning how to do your own hair ASAP. Besides saving money, you would not have to worry about scissor happy stylists, rough handling, drama, ect. If I had a dime for everytime I've seen a post on here about a major setback caused by a traumatic salon experience, I would be a rich lady.
 
Do what makes you happy I personally choose to relax because many of the hair styles I do require my hair to be straight and if I was natural I would be using too much heat

I was just like you before I use to relax my hair too much and wouldn't deep condition do any protein treatments I was just not taking care of my hair at all but now that I have better knowledge my hair is in better condition I now relax every 8-16 weeks
 
DDTexlaxed said:
If you want to relax, just don't do it every 4 weeks! :lol:
Click to expand...
Girl- over processing to the max. I know better now.

I took my hair out last night. Gave myself a hot oil treatment, shampooed, conditioned, detangled and flat ironed. My hair still looks like a poof ball - there is a lot of it though so I slapped it into a pony tail for work. I can tell my ends need to be clipped. They curl up into a spiral when I flat ironed. The rest of my hair is somewhat straight.
My hair is VERY thick though and the back is about 2 inches past shoulder length. I am going to give natural a try for a few weeks- see if I can find a stylist and do my regiment. If I really can't manage, then I will relax. I hope the co-washes will help with manageability/time spent. I want to start regular Zumba classes again too so I am concerned about sweating and the regiment, etc.
 
I say do what works for you. I spent my entire life natural so relaxing was and still is very new for me and its always a learning process. Because I workout at the gym, sweat frequently, etc, this works for me (as apposed to being a straight hair natural).
 
Do what you feel comfortable doing but IMO whatever issues you were experiencing when you were relaxed you will encounter those same problems again. Whether a beautician does it or not. I've been on this long hair journey for years and my relaxed hair never reached its full potential, at least to me it did not. It would grow, (the only way I know this is in pictures) and break. There was this area in the back that always look like an upside down U, so basically, my sides would be long but the back region would be much shorter. My edges refused to grow, and it kept moving closer to the top of my head. It could be genetics/heredity, but now that I've chosen to go natural, I'm beginning to see results. I no long have an upside U and my edges are growing in. Mind you, it’s still thin/fine but the hair in that region is growing. I can honestly say if I wasn’t actively taking care of my hair, I would probably be bald. I’m saying all this to say, natural hair is not for everybody, so you must decide what’s important, do you want healthy hair or just convenient hair, something that you can pull into a bun and call it a day.
 
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