Relationships??

[NessaNessa]

Why? Why? Why?

I really am not understanding men these days. I have been seeing this guy. We have been getting very close. Well about 2 weeks ago, I realized I was falling for him kinda hard. I didnt think he was ready for a raltionship so I began backing off. He didnt like that.

Well yesterday, I bit the bullet and asked him what did he think about us. His reply was he really like me yada, yada, yada, but he doesnt want to ruin the relationship. Cool. I got the answer and I could deal with that.

Well, he then goes on to ask me am I in love with him. I am like huh ??!! I told him no I am not, but I really like you. So I ask him is that how he felt about me. He said yes. Um, I am thinking where did that come from? When I told him I wasnt in love with him, he told me I was cold. Once again, HUH??

Well, we hung up and I called him back because we kinda got off the phone a bit abruptly. He didnt answer but called me back immediatley. He then went on to say, he thought I was calling to tell him something he wanted to hear. Ladies, I am so confused (see my mood ) I am thinking to just end all contact for a week or two until he is totally out of my system because he seem just as confused as I am.

Ladies this is the condensed version b/c I am at work But I just wanted some insight.

I think he really like me but is unsure of us because we started out as really good for friends. Never thought we would start hanging out. But then again, maybe this is what I am telling myself because I want him really like me.

 

[NessaNessa]

Um, anyone?

 

[amwcah]

It sounds like he wants you to be all in love with him, but may or may not return the same feelings. Now that you said you are not in love with him, perhaps it was a blow to his ego. Just a thought! Then again, it sounds like you'll have history so maybe it is more to it.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Please take what I say with agrain of salt, I am by no means a master of relationships. But I went through something very similar with my ex. LIke I remember I would always question in my mind what is this, should I lay off, should I fall back? Adn then I did, and we got in this random fight, but still spent the day together, then I was like I'm confused, and he was like do you love me? And I was like no, I don't think so. He got mad, and just kinda dropped me off. He wa slike call me when you get your head together(not in a mean way) and I was like don't go, and told him I was falling for him, and he got this big grin on his face, but didn't say anything back. Then the nex day I got a phone call that my dad was really sick, and he came by and while I was crying in his arms he told me he loved me. It was really sweet actually, but I didn't say those words until like two weeks later. I asked him once why he made me say it first, and he was like I just wanted to know if you felt as strongly as I did b4 I put it out there. I guess it was like a confidence thing.

I'm not saying this is what's going on with you, but that's what happened in my case.

Note: He is my ex, so things didn't quite work out, but we're still good friends.

 

[Caramela]

Kinda weird question to ask someone... 'are you in love with me?'... I don't know, girl.

 

[NessaNessa]

Thanks to all who responded. I am so confused. I hate feeling this way. I have thinking about this ALL day. Lukily, I am extremely busy today, so I have a few distractions.

I have been asking myself why am I so into him. I think it is the way our friendship transformed into 'something else'. I dont know.

More responses are wanted

 

[NessaNessa]

Please take what I say with agrain of salt, I am by no means a master of relationships. But I went through something very similar with my ex. LIke I remember I would always question in my mind what is this, should I lay off, should I fall back? Adn then I did, and we got in this random fight, but still spent the day together, then I was like I'm confused, and he was like do you love me? And I was like no, I don't think so. He got mad, and just kinda dropped me off. He wa slike call me when you get your head together(not in a mean way) and I was like don't go, and told him I was falling for him, and he got this big grin on his face, but didn't say anything back. Then the nex day I got a phone call that my dad was really sick, and he came by and while I was crying in his arms he told me he loved me. It was really sweet actually, but I didn't say those words until like two weeks later. I asked him once why he made me say it first, and he was like I just wanted to know if you felt as strongly as I did b4 I put it out there. I guess it was like a confidence thing.

I'm not saying this is what's going on with you, but that's what happened in my case.

Note: He is my ex, so things didn't quite work out, but we're still good friends.

Girl, I really feel this may be the case with him!!! I am wondering if mt HONEST response to his question will affect his dealings with me from this point on. I sure hope not. Although he can be vague in his answers to me.

When I told him he was rejecting me (I began laughing) he told me he wasnt and thats just my perspective on it. I think he is a confused lil' thang

Any more comments??!!

 

[Xavier]

Okay I can understand someone asking "do you love me?" because they have expressed their love for a person and have not gotten any feedback in return. But just to ask the question out of the blue is a little ackward. I may even jump to the conclusion that the person is full of their self.

 

[NessaNessa]

Okay I can understand someone asking "do you love me?" because they have expressed their love for a person and have not gotten any feedback in return. But just to ask the question out of the blue is a little ackward. I may even jump to the conclusion that the person is full of their self.

Never thought of this. You may be on to something.

 

[divya]

Wow, I dunno. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he is the only one who is falling in love, and the fact that you are not to that point yet upsets him.

 

[NessaNessa]

Wow, I dunno. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like he is the only one who is falling in love, and the fact that you are not to that point yet upsets him.

Thats what I want to think. I am even more confused

 

[need2accumulate]

I feel like he can sense that you are really into him and he wants to keep it that way so that he can have the upper hand.

When I was dating I would love to have someone like me more than I like them or to manipulate them to do and say things I wanted to say. For me it was like a game. I would be hot so they would like me a lot and then turn cold. (I think I have a mean personality but oh well)

That would confuse them but if I could tell they liked me, they would eventually do what I wanted them to do and then I would continue playing the little games until I got tired of them.

Not saying thats what he is doing, just giving you insight into how some people think

 

[NessaNessa]

I feel like he can sense that you are really into him and he wants to keep it that way so that he can have the upper hand.

When I was dating I would love to have someone like me more than I like them or to manipulate them to do and say things I wanted to say. For me it was like a game. I would be hot so they would like me a lot and then turn cold. (I think I have a mean personality but oh well)

That would confuse them but if I could tell they liked me, they would eventually do what I wanted them to do and then I would continue playing the little games until I got tired of them.

Not saying thats what he is doing, just giving you insight into how some people think

Well, werent you the lil' devil

 

[SeatownSista]

So you guys are not currently in a relationship, your friends that have been hanging out? If you're ready to be in a serious relationship with this guy, why not tell him how you feel about it and see how where he stands.? I think that would be a lot easier than trying to figure out what's going on in his head.

 

[NessaNessa]

So you guys are not currently in a relationship, your friends that have been hanging out? If you're ready to be in a serious relationship with this guy, why not tell him how you feel about it and see how where he stands.? I think that would be a lot easier than trying to figure out what's going on in his head.

I have. Thats when I got the 'I like you a lot but I dont wanna ruin the relationship yada, yada, yada'.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

Sounds like you like him, actually both of you like each other, but are afraid of getting hurt. Could both of you still be holding on to past (hurt)emotions? With every relationship you are supposed to go into it like it's a new one, never stop yourself from going through the motions. It's what makes us human, and alive.