Relationships And Death

[movingforward13]

Hey ladies- can someone give me an idea what to expect.... My SO's father is dying. We don't know when he is going to pass, however he has been in the hospital a lot more lately (like back to back at least 4 times) for chronic heart failure. SO is finally coming to grips that dad is probably going to pass soon. He is looking for burial insurance and asked me to help him write an obituary.

I didn't know SO when his mother passed about 5 years ago but that was an unexpected death and he took her passing very hard. Like literally turned recluse. He is just now starting to see people and open up. Now that his father's death is imminent- it seems he is thinking more about the point of life and etc.

Has your SO dealt with someone significant to him passing during your relationship? How did he grieve? Did your relationship change? How did you show support? Did he open up to you?

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I'm so sorry you're SO is going through this. I know this has got to be stressful for you both. I'd encourage him to talk to someone about it before his dad passes. Maybe a minister at church as that doesn't carry the same stigma as seeing a therapist.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Everyone grieves differently so this probably doesn't help.
I didn't know DH when his mom died but he lost an aunt and uncle within a few weeks of each other recently. He was very close to them both and they both had moved down south so he wasn't seeing them weekly anymore. All you can do is listen and offer to help. I made sure we attended both services. We talk all the time but he also talks to his cousin who is a psychologist.

My BFF was in a relationship around the time his dad died. It was very different. He pushed her away. He had a strained relationship with the dad and had just become closer at her urging. My guess is he blamed her since he wouldn't have felt so horrible if they hadn't become closer. Who knows.