Regime Problems

[diamondlady]

Ladies,

I have a problem. I wore braids for 4 months when I decided to try to grow my hair. I got 3 inches in 4 months. I was estatic. I never knew my hair could grow like that. Problem is - on the job people treated me like I had the plague. I got strange looks in meetings and it seemed no one valued my opinions or observation anymore. Even the people that work under me treated me differently. My director would make comments about hair in a joking manner and would compliment me when I wasn't wearing the braids. Since I've taken them out, I'm not keeping nearly as much growth as before, but I don't think I can take the attitude at work when I wear the braids.
I tried Cathy Howse's method and it just doesn't work as well. Now I'm thinking of try Carolyn Gray's method. I've purchased the book and it seems like about a million dollars worth of products and stuff. (just joking)
Has anyone tried her method? Should I develop my own? I have also asked for London Diva's chart. I just want to experience that initial boost again, like I did with the braids. HELP!! OPINIONS ANYONE???

 

[beana3]

I'm sure your braids are kept neat and clean, so i would not let comments from others get to me. I now its easier said than done.
You sound like you're getting record growth from this regime, and i would stick to it!! 3 inches every 4 months is great, that's 9 inches a year girl! plus you are retaining it, which is key.
If you are dead set on keeping the braids out, then maybe you could try protective styling.. french rolls, buns, drawstring ponytails.... If your having problems with products, then try doing a search.

 

[diamondlady]

Thank you so much, Beana3

I feel like I kinda poured my heart out and I've been sitting here hoping someone would response. I try to act like it doesn't bother me that people treat me differently because of the braids and believe it or not, some Black ladies were laughing at my braids. I was simply apalled at how people acted. I expected other cultures to act strange because I had heard that from other friends. I had them professionally down and I thought they looked great.

Right now I am wearing a drawstring ponytail, which is a little more acceptable.

When my job suffers (because of a hair style) I feel like I must conform, if it was just people, I would say to heck with them.

 

[JenJen2721]

DiamondLady,
I understand how it is in a corporate environment. Braids have just started being accepted in corporate America within the last 15 years or so. I think it's totally discrimination to be treated differently just because people don't understand your hair choices.

Just curious: what city and state do you work in?

I had the same problem when I first came to work with braids. They eventually got used to them, but I had to deal with a lot of questions and some people laughing at first. It really hurts a persons feelings and they don't try to understand or ask (geniunely) why you chose that hairstyle.

It's very unfortunate.

I think we should declare a national "Wear Your Hair Braided Month" All nationalities can participate. We'd start a revolution!!! Then we'd all be wearing a protective hair style at the time!!!

I'm rambling again, but that just my .02.

God bless,
Jen

 

[diamondlady]

JenJen2721,

I work in the state of Texas (near Dallas). My boss is from South America, but most of the people on my management team are "good ole boys" and the hair style just doesn't go over.

Because of the phenominal growth retainment I had, sometimes I am tempted to just to go back to the braids and let the chips fall where they may, but my job is my livelyhood and that is very important.

I feel a hundred times better just knowing there are people out there who understand. I was sitting here on pins and needles thinking maybe no one would respond and I would feel even worse.

 

[Armyqt]

Diamondlady, I wouldn't even sweat it. Let them say what they want, you do what makes you feel good. It has nothing to do with a certain "standard" as they would have you believe. Many, many times, they are secretly wishing they could wear those same braided hairstyles. I think it's not the style in which you wear your hair, but "how" you wear it. I say wear it with confidence.

And those same haters, yes haters, can go on while they're jotting down ways to make themselves look better( from us mind you)....(lip injections, tanning beds, tush enhancements, and not to mention our styles and lingo). Don't get it twisted, the main ones in corporate America who perpetrate these attitudes towards us, are the same ones, lining up on the sands of Jamaica and other islands, waiting to get their har braided. If you're getting good growth and YOU like your braids, the hell with them. Work it girl

 

[Guest]

I'm not feeling this whole corporate "white is right" attitutude and anything that remotely resembles being ethnic is wrong. That disgusts me

But if your job is important to you, sometimes you have to play their game. Why not get a weave? You can have your braids on the underside and let them have their stupid european silky look on the outside. That way your hair can still grow in braids and you still have the "corporate" look.

 

[JenJen2721]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Caramela said:
let them have their stupid european silky look on the outside.

[/ QUOTE ]

Caramela, you're cracking me up girl!

But, for real that is a very good idea! My friend wears something called "tree braids". It looks like regular weave, but your hair underneath is braided.

 

[carrie]

I feel for you. I too work in a highly corporate environment. But I have the good ol' F-U attitude. I wear what is comfortable for me. I even had another sister come up to me when I got the braids and tell me that if I wanted to climb the ladder I should lose them. I told her that I was not interested in climbing a ladder to a place where I wasnt' accepted for me and that she would probably tell me to remove the fact that I was president of my college's black student union from my resume.

Its funny, I am up for a promotion to a Sr. Manager position and she is still sitting in her cube.

 

[diamondlady]

WOW,
The ladies on this board are fantasic. I feel so much better. I got a laugh out the remark about "that stupid european look". I really don't want to wear a weave, but that is a viable option. I just want to grow my hair!!!

 

[UmSumayyah]

I was discussing this very same topic with a friend (another board member) a few weeks ago, and she said that what she would do in that situation is just buy a nice wig and wear that.
You'd have to cornrow your hair as you would for a weave, but this way you'd have easy access to your hair to comb out, wash, and deep condition every 2 weeks or so. AND you could lose the wig on your days off and wear your cornrows with pride.

 

[diamondlady]

I MADE A DECISION. I was looking over my progress since I started trying to grow my hair. I got 3 inches in 4 months with braids, that's about 3/4 inch a month. Without the braids, I've gotten about 1/3 of an inch per month and nothing in some areas. So to heck with what they think at work and how they act. My hair style has nothing to do with my ability to do my job.

 

[ms_kenesha]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
diamondlady said:
I MADE A DECISION. I was looking over my progress since I started trying to grow my hair. I got 3 inches in 4 months with braids, that's about 3/4 inch a month. Without the braids, I've gotten about 1/3 of an inch per month and nothing in some areas. So to heck with what they think at work and how they act. My hair style has nothing to do with my ability to do my job.

[/ QUOTE ]

Way To Go Diamondlady!!!

What type of braids are you going to get? How do you wear your braids? I think if you get long braids and put them in a bun while at work, you can't get any more professional than a bun!

 

[Tracy]

Diamondlady -

I'm so prouda you girl!

I was going to post a day or so ago when I saw this, and I didn't have time then, but leave it to the gems on this board to give you all the advice and support you needed to make the best decision for you.

My Mom works on wall street in management and doesn't like dealing with yher natural hair all the time (she's got a ton of hair!) and she wears cornrows going back into and elegant bun. Even the muckety mucks compliment her. SHe's really been able to rise the fence. If they don't get used to you maybe try something that resembles a more "conservative" style and then you can have your cake and eat it too!

Good luck chica.... ((hugs)))

 

[diamondlady]

I'm getting the individuals. The cornrows caused problems with the edges even when I told the stylist she was making them too tight, she still got them too tight and I lost a little hair on the edges. The individuals work great for me. The bun thing is a GREAT IDEA. I think I'll try that. I think that would be more conservative and professional.

Wish me luck everyone 'cause it can be nerve wracking.

 

[diamondlady]

Tracy,

I need all the encouragement I can get. I'm getting it from all sides. Even the Black ladies were making comments. Some of them made remarks about where I had them done and how much I must have spent. I did get a few compliments and I do mean "A FEW". I even tried to explain to the Black women that I was giving my hair a rest, and I still could see them looking at each other with sly smiles.

 

[adrienne0914]

diamondlady, i feel you on the hater comments. just consider that perhaps these people try to ridicule you because they envy your ability to stand apart from the crowd. like if they break your spirit, you'll fall back in with the rest of them. what's that line from Color Purple... something about folks "not liking you to be too proud or too free"... most of the negative comments i get about my hair are from my own people. it's very disappointing...

anyway, i would definitely try the braids pulled up into a bun or even a ponytail. that's pretty conservative. you could even twist it up into a french roll and put some of those chopsticks in it. very chic!!!

adrienne

 

[diamondlady]

Andrienne,

I took a look at your pics. You said people made comments so I wanted to see why. Now, I tell you why they made comments, they have the green-eyed monster all over them. Your hair is absolutely GORGEOUS. Your pics are inspiring. Your braids look great and the only reason I can see for someone saying anything negavtive is "ENVY". I'm calling my stylist and make that braid appointment ASAP.

As the Minster says "Keep on keeping on".

 

[diamondlady]

Can some of you more experienced members comment on why my growth retention is so much less without the braids? (3/4 inch per month with braids, 1/3 inch per month without the braids). I handle my hair with care, I moisturize, air dry, deep condition, same vitamin routine, 12 weeks between relaxers, satin pillowcase, protective styles (buns &amp; ponytails, but not too tight) what am I doing wrong?

 

[adrienne0914]

i'm curious. what do you put on your ends when you wear your hair in the bun? and how many days do you wear protective styles in a week?

adrienne

 

[diamondlady]

Andrienne,

You are now my mentor. I took a look at pics and have been raving about them ever since. (Some of them remind me of myself, especially the childhood and 80s) Girl your hair is the bomb.

I usually put carrot oil on my ends and spray a little UBHC dew on the ends. At night I use Fantastic IC nightime oil. I've been wearing a ponytail lately but just decide to go back to braids. As soon as I can get an appointment. I don't know about other places but here it takes about 2 weeks to get an appointment for braids and some shops will keep you there and work other customers in while they're doing your braids and then charge you an arm and a leg.

 

[kisz4tj]

Last summer I had medium/large cornrows with mahogany beads at the end and I had an exec comment on my ethnic styling, and then he told me to not make noise as I walked with my beads because it would annoy him. It's not easy. My boss comments every single time I do a different hairstyle, it's kinda like "Oh...you've changed your hair again (head cocked to the side)" So now that I'd like to try wigs, I'm even more self conscious because I don't want a bunch of attention.

 

[diamondlady]

You get the comments everytime you change you style after you've worn braids. I noticed that. The first braids I wore were individuals and they were past my waist, people actually asked "Is that your real hair", when they knew me and saw me two day prior. I answered "yes, I grew 20" of hair over the weekend." Then I started getting them shorter and they still would ask. Then I wore my hair down and they were like, "is this your hair or what?"

One other lady that was working as a temp was told by her manager that she was going to have to do something with her hair if she wanted him to get her a job. He was a black guy and he told her that she MUST look professional in order for him to convince his management to hire her.

 

[ms_kenesha]

kisz4tj,
I think this is so ridiculous!!! Is your boss white? I think when white people make comments like this they are exposing their prejudices....every white man thought Bo Derek was fine as hell when she sported the cornrows and beads, plus they acted like she was the 1st woman ever to sport 'em!!!

When Maria Shriver was called into duty on her Caribbean vacay she had her hair in cornrows and went on the air with them and so many people wrote in saying her hair was inappropriate and unprofessional! What the HELL is unprofessional about braids I mean dayum at least with cornrows your hair is pulled back and out of your face!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kisz4tj]

Yes I work for a caucasian firm. I get sooo much attention whenever I do anything different to my hair. Whether it be hilights which I did last year. It really gets old and tiring, once I was so sick of it when my boss said "Oh..I like your hair" I was like no you don't (rolling my eyes all over my head). The women are all big eyed "Is that your hair??, Wow". I even had someone ask me if she could get corn rows, that she heard it's offensive and that black women get upset if white women wear them" It really is amazing. I don't know why people feel so compelled to comment.

 

[diamondlady]

Not all white people are like that. The fact is my husband is white and he loves the braids. He was the one who encouraged me to get them in the first place. He says that they're low maintenence and pretty so you can't beat that. By the way, he is in management also.
One girl where I work was told to do something else with her hair, and her boss was African American.

 

[leejure]

I have seen some very nice, classy professional styles when wearing braids. Girl if you want braids, I say go for it and "bump" the haters!

-lee