READY TO PULL MY HAIR OUT!!!!!...at my wits end w/my dd's hair!!!

[eyunka]

UPDATE

She kept the scarf on all night last night. I didn't even try to tie it down last night when she came in to tell me good night she had tied it down herself along with her bonnet. When I saw her this morning to comb it i was so amazed and gave her all kinds of prasies. She said "mommi i wet it and brushed the edges and tied it down".....yay




If I could snatch my daughter by her hair a couple times (yes i said snatch!!!) I would. To save time in the morning (she is slow as all get up and thinks I can work miracles in the morning with her hair in 10 mins time) I have started to tie our hair down at night, I have a silk scarf i tie around her head and a tie up bonnet, tell me why this child still comes down with the dag on thing off her head!!!!

Now I'm afraid that i am combing and brushing too much. I comb at night and then i have to turn around and touch it up in the morning.

I have tried every way possible of tighten it without squeezing her little brain (can y'all tell I'm mad). My dh tells me i need to stop talking to her the way that i am in the morning.

I looked at him like r u serious, "When you started to comb her hair then you can say something!"

Done venting.....

 

[Urban]

awww. I'm sorry you're so frustrated. Why is you daughter's hair so hard to comb? Is it dry, or just extra tangly? Maybe you could try doing it up in really big braids at night, that way it wont get too ruffled up while she sleeps, even if the scarf comes off.

But I do have to agree with hubby. It's not really a good way to start out someone's day. DD may even start resenting haircare

Good luck. Ireally hope more people chime in, and you find the solution you need.

 

[Miss*Tress]

How old is she? Maybe just relax and let her go to school "as is". If she's big enough, she may pay attention and ask you to fix her hair for her.

 

[lilsparkle825]

this happens to me too. i have to double tie it, or else it WILL come off. maybe the silk is too slippery?

 

[Barbie83]

I'm a wild sleeper, and silk or satin scarfs ALWAYS come off at night. I fixed it by putting on the satin one first, then throwing on a regular old cotton bandanna over it. Keeps it in place without my hair toughing the cotton!

 

[eyunka]

I have 3 kids so for me it is very hectic in the mornings, my dd is 12 and very slow about getting dressed and then expecting me to comb her hair in just 10 mins. I have tried waking her up earlier in the morning but with no avail that does not work either. We are both texlax 4a/b apl and it can get a little difficult to come in 10 mins.

I agree I know i should not talk to her in a stern manner but the girl is 12 how do you not know how to sleep with too things on your head!!!?????


just soooo frustrated......

awww. I'm sorry you're so frustrated. Why is you daughter's hair so hard to comb? Is it dry, or just extra tangly? Maybe you could try doing it up in really big braids at night, that way it wont get too ruffled up while she sleeps, even if the scarf comes off.

But I do have to agree with hubby. It's not really a good way to start out someone's day. DD may even start resenting haircare

Good luck. Ireally hope more people chime in, and you find the solution you need.

 

[eyunka]

I have even allowed her to try and comb it but it is sooo thick she can't get her little hands around it to put it in a ponytail.

Plus I can't have her going to school looking a hot mess

How old is she? Maybe just relax and let her go to school "as is". If she's big enough, she may pay attention and ask you to fix her hair for her.

 

[mscocoface]

She sounds like she is part of the wild sleepers club. I am a member too.

Maybe you can look into getting her some of those satin pillow cases at Sally's. They have them there for around 8 or 9 dollars you can get her two of them. The come in cream, white and black last time I saw them. Also they have scarves with the pull string on them that may be better for her.

HTH

 

[eyunka]

thx this might be the solution I will give this a try.

I'm a wild sleeper, and silk or satin scarfs ALWAYS come off at night. I fixed it by putting on the satin one first, then throwing on a regular old cotton bandanna over it. Keeps it in place without my hair toughing the cotton!

 

[jturner7156]

I would let her go looking the way she wakes up one day...I bet that scarf would stay on the following night!

 

[eyunka]

Yeah i have a satin pillow case for her and the second scarf is a drawstring....i told y'all I'm at my wits end.

thx for your suggestion

She sounds like she is part of the wild sleepers club. I am a member too.

Maybe you can look into getting her some of those satin pillow cases at Sally's. They have them there for around 8 or 9 dollars you can get her two of them. The come in cream, white and black last time I saw them. Also they have scarves with the pull string on them that may be better for her.

HTH

 

[eyunka]

tried that too matter or fact 2 weeks and my DH finally said why are you letting her go to school like that, her uncle even came to me saying " you need to come my niecey's hair or do i need to take her to the salon"

I would let her go looking the way she wakes up one day...I bet that scarf would stay on the following night!

 

[eyunka]

I think i am going to go ahead and braid before my frustration gets over board, at least this will allow me to calm down a bit.

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl I'm grown and I still wake up w/my scarf off. (LOL) Don't be too angry w/her. Begin teaching her how to do her own hair and that will help you out. I was doing mine by then and I appreciated learning. If she is natural maybe you can try braided styles, they tend to need less maintenance IMO.

 

[Prettyeyes]

BRAIDS, BRAIDS, BRAIDS! HTH!!!!

 

[PearlyCurly]

She does sound like a wild sleeper, i am the queen of wild sleeping
The only thing that sorta stayed on my head at that age was an old scarf(cotton like). Now i have found this bonnet that has an elastic around it(almost like a head band)...I also like to put a scarf then a bonnet. OR a bonnet+head band+ another bonnet or scarf

Dont just go and throw braids in her hair, that pore child might not have a hair line by age of 14

You should try and start teaching her how to do her own hair, at that age i was doing my own hair because my mom said "Its just too thick". And if you do, do braids.. then teach her how to take care of them herself. Oh and take monthly breaks from them too.

 

[eyunka]

What you are doing sounds like what i have a scarf then a bonnet. As for the braids there is not issue there, she wears them during the summer anyway since she can't really comb her hair that well. By the time she gets up (during the summer) I'm off to work, so if she wants to go outside while I'm gone she does not have to worry about it.

I'm a DIYer on braids just for the sole purpose i believe others do it tooo tight. Matter of fact i use the add in technique...i start off braiding her hair then start adding the weave in

She does sound like a wild sleeper, i am the queen of wild sleeping
The only thing that sorta stayed on my head at that age was an old scarf(cotton like). Now i have found this bonnet that has an elastic around it(almost like a head band)...I also like to put a scarf then a bonnet. OR a bonnet+head band+ another bonnet or scarf

Dont just go and throw braids in her hair, that pore child might not have a hair line by age of 14

You should try and start teaching her how to do her own hair, at that age i was doing my own hair because my mom said "Its just too thick". And if you do, do braids.. then teach her how to take care of them herself. Oh and take monthly breaks from them too.

 

[PearlyCurly]

What you are doing sounds like what i have a scarf then a bonnet. As for the braids there is not issue there, she wears them during the summer anyway since she can't really comb her hair that well. By the time she gets up (during the summer) I'm off to work, so if she wants to go outside while I'm gone she does not have to worry about it.

I'm a DIYer on braids just for the sole purpose i believe others do it tooo tight. Matter of fact i use the add in technique...i start off braiding her hair then start adding the weave in

Wow weird, my mom use to do the same exact thing with me I still do it now.

 

[eyunka]

I remember my mom doing my hair for the summer except it was braids w/beads, thought i was hot stuff with all those beads clanking as i ran outside to play. Turning my head side to side real fast so they could slap me in the face....

Wow weird, my mom use to do the same exact thing with me I still do it now.

 

[VioletWylde]

Now i have found this bonnet that has an elastic around it(almost like a head band)...

I know exactly what you're talking about. I just went and grabbed one of these at Walmart yesterday--the "Stay On Satin" cap. I'm a wild sleeper too, and it actually did stay last night. I grabbed it by accident, but I'm glad I did. This might be something to take a look at, but braids do sound like a good fail-safe. OP, if you decide to wait on braids, a couple of weekend DIY bootcamp sessions might help your DD get a running start on doing simple styles for herself. Good luck!

 

[eyunka]

To all that gave suggestions thanks, i have a couple i will try. As far as teaching her to do her own hair......I have to work on myself 1st. I have this thing if its not look and done the way I I want it done then I do it myself. Again it is a process I have to work on. I see sooo many Jr high girls on their way to school with damaged hair I just can't bring myself to let her do it. Little bit by little bit I do teach her. If I have a hard time with combing, gathering in a pony and brushing can you imagine what she goes through. Lumps bumps and off center.....A co-worker asked me how long did I plan on combing my dd's hair.....I didn't have an answer. I just would hate to see all my hard work go down the drain due to her not being able to manage it.

 

[trey21]

To all that gave suggestions thanks, i have a couple i will try. As far as teaching her to do her own hair......I have to work on myself 1st. I have this thing if its not look and done the way I I want it done then I do it myself. Again it is a process I have to work on. I see sooo many Jr high girls on their way to school with damaged hair I just can't bring myself to let her do it. Little bit by little bit I do teach her. If I have a hard time with combing, gathering in a pony and brushing can you imagine what she goes through. Lumps bumps and off center.....A co-worker asked me how long did I plan on combing my dd's hair.....I didn't have an answer. I just would hate to see all my hard work go down the drain due to her not being able to manage it.

I understand. My dd is in a transition to natural along with me and it can get rough. Her hair is no problem but after dealing with mines, I really don't want to touch another head. I try to leave hers in protective styles throughout the week and then fix it over on the weekends. This works out better than her running down the stairs with her brush as I am on my way out of the house for work. My daughter is 12 as well and will be 13 in 3 weeks and I always get asked when can she do her own hair...I Don't know when that will happen...I will let her wash it in the shower but thats as far as I've been able to let go. I hope the tips you got worked...good luck

 

[lashannasmall]

At 13, it is time for her to live and learn in my opinion. My daughter is 8 with 4A hair and she does her own hair for school and has been for a year or so!!!! Here hair is about shoulder length. Yes, I think she combs her hair too much but I had the conversation with her and it is out of my hands. I just let it go. Good luck

 

[msa]

What you are doing sounds like what i have a scarf then a bonnet. As for the braids there is not issue there, she wears them during the summer anyway since she can't really comb her hair that well. By the time she gets up (during the summer) I'm off to work, so if she wants to go outside while I'm gone she does not have to worry about it.

I'm a DIYer on braids just for the sole purpose i believe others do it tooo tight. Matter of fact i use the add in technique...i start off braiding her hair then start adding the weave in

So why don't you just keep her hair braided up until she can take over? That way you won't have to do anything in the morning.

You could even start by doing braids on her hair weekly (without added hair) and teach her how to do them. They would still look nice in the morning even if the scarf came off. And since she's APL she could wear them in a ponytail, or bun, or put rollers on them at night to jazz them up.

 

[SmartyPants]

I have 3 kids so for me it is very hectic in the mornings, my dd is 12 and very slow about getting dressed and then expecting me to comb her hair in just 10 mins. I have tried waking her up earlier in the morning but with no avail that does not work either. We are both texlax 4a/b apl and it can get a little difficult to come in 10 mins.

I agree I know i should not talk to her in a stern manner but the girl is 12 how do you not know how to sleep with too things on your head!!!?????


just soooo frustrated......

Because she's sleeping!!!!!!

Seriously, one of the reasons I rollerset my hair every night is because I could never keep a scarf or anything else on my head at night!

But you really do need to find another way to deal with this or you will risk having an unhealthy relationship with your child over hair!

 

[tailormade84]

I would let her go looking the way she wakes up one day...I bet that scarf would stay on the following night!

u read my mind....

 

[vkb247]

If she is having problems with a ponytail than why not try teaching her how to do a puff? Almost every morning I put a little water around the edges of my hair, use my denman to clear it out a bit around the edges, and then I double up on of those Goody's Ouchless elastic headbands, pull it over my head and slide it up to form the puff. If I want a smaller puff I can always stretch a piece of the headband out and put it around one more time. I put a little gel around the edges and I am done. Takes about 5 minutes and I also have very thick texlaxed hair.

 

[glamazon386]

Put a bonnet on top of her scarf. I have one that's says Stay On Bonnet on it or something. You should be able to find it at Walmart or the BSS. It has a thicker band. I've never had it come off and I too am a wild sleeper.

 

[eyunka]

I don't feel sooo alone now....I have taught her to wash and condition her hair. She knows what products to use when detangling and she knows to comb from bottom up. There are several more things but not enough to handly on her own.

I understand. My dd is in a transition to natural along with me and it can get rough. Her hair is no problem but after dealing with mines, I really don't want to touch another head. I try to leave hers in protective styles throughout the week and then fix it over on the weekends. This works out better than her running down the stairs with her brush as I am on my way out of the house for work. My daughter is 12 as well and will be 13 in 3 weeks and I always get asked when can she do her own hair...I Don't know when that will happen...I will let her wash it in the shower but thats as far as I've been able to let go. I hope the tips you got worked...good luck

 

[eyunka]

wow to the bolded....it sounds like i may be lazy but trust me I'm not. I live a very hectic life and I dread Sundays (wash day for us both) That is a whole day process along with cooking sunday dinner and finishing up the laundry, clothes and whatever else i didn't finish on Saturday.

I will day you did give me an idea, awhile back i did two strand twist all over, I may do that this Sunday and add some flexirods on the ends and then put in a ponytail....thx

So why don't you just keep her hair braided up until she can take over? That way you won't have to do anything in the morning.

You could even start by doing braids on her hair weekly (without added hair) and teach her how to do them. They would still look nice in the morning even if the scarf came off. And since she's APL she could wear them in a ponytail, or bun, or put rollers on them at night to jazz them up.