rant: i'm over it!

[LivingDol1]

.... *sigh*

i've spent the last year and a half trying to have healthy hair and grow my hair to MBL.

i roller set. i wear my hair UP 90% of the time. i resist the urge to use the blow dryer. i DC. i don't use combs with seams. i try to avoid using cones.

i put my hair in braids for a 7 week break. i took out my hair and it was longer but my ends are splitting. i haven't had a trim in over 6 months... i got a touch up relaxer... but did not allow my stylist to trim my hair because i can't justify handing over $50 to a man who is just going to do something to my hair that i'm not going to like or approve of in the end. might as well hold me up at gun point...

but i know that i need a trim! which sucks because i made good growing progress. sometimes, i think that i'll never make MBL because maybe my hair just doesn't want to be moisturized past APL or BSL.

then i realized... what's with all of these challenges? what am i trying to do? I want to have long, healthy hair... but... what is the point when i put all of this work into my hair and all i do is hide it?

i want to use a blow dryer sometimes... because i can't always set aside 4 hours to wash, DC, and roller set, and sit under a dryer. i also want to use a blow dryer on a low heat setting instead of cool because my hair lays softer and has more movement when i use heat vs cool.

i want to use a CHI flatiron. with heat protectant of course.

...and sometimes, i want to curl my ends to get that cute wavy tousled look.

wearing a southern tease bun makes me look professional at times... which is fine... but i'm also YOUNG. i don't want to wear a BUN. i am not a librarian!

i'm quitting every challenge. i've learned a lot and will apply it to fit my life as i see fit. my hair isn't going to govern my weekly schedule anymore!!!

and if anyone in NYC knows of a good stylist who will give a reasonable trim and not go scissor happy then please PM me!

 

[Americka]

As long as you are not being abusive with heat, I don't see why you can't incorporate "hair down" days. Do what makes you happy!

 

[blessedandlucky]

good for you. moderation is the key!

 

[silkii_locks]

I say go for it girl! Do what works for you. I never wear my hair in a bun and use my blowdryer and curling iron when I want and my hair has still managed to grow from just below shoulder length to nearly midback in just under 2 1/2 years.

It is possible to achieve your goals without hiding your hair constantly. Just keep your protein and moisture balance in check, don't over do it with relaxers and heat and always protect your hair when sleeping and you should be fine.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

IA: It should be FUN (sorta like a "Hobby")....IMO: It shouldn't seem like a "Chore" or something that is causing you major 'angst'

If it is (and when it becomes that), perhaps you should take a break from the Hair Forum, maybe visit other threads on the Forum that is of interest to you.

You have the basics down. And it sounds like You know how to take really Good Care of Your Hair.

When it gets to the point that is beginning to feel like a 'major pain in the rump' it is definitely time to step away for awhile. And Readjust.

Don't Fret about it. You may feel differently in a day or two.

 

[LivingDol1]

IA: It should be FUN (sorta like a "Hobby")....IMO: It shouldn't seem like a "Chore" or something that is causing you major 'angst'

If it is (and when it becomes that), perhaps you should take a break from the Hair Forum, maybe visit other threads on the Forum that is of interest to you.

You have the basics down. And it sounds like You know how to take really Good Care of Your Hair.

When it gets to the point that is beginning to feel like a 'major pain in the rump' it is definitely time to step away for awhile. And Readjust.

Don't Fret about it. You may feel differently in a day or two.

lmao. this is my break from the Michael Jackson Forum.

i've definitely come a long way from my previous hair practices. i agree, hair should be fun. if it isn't fun and is becoming a hassle, i might as well cut it off and i don't want to do that because i like my hair.

maybe i'll get it highlighted... *gasp*

 

[LushLox]

You should be enjoying it, it shouldn't be giving you so much stress - that's counter productive. Everything in moderation...there is nothing wrong with the occasional use of heat and wearing your hair down now and then. As long as you have good consistent practices (which I know you do) your hair will still flourish.

I agree with T, if you feel this way maybe a break from the hair forum is in order. I do this from time to time and feel all the more better for it when I come back.

ETA: I know exactly what you mean about wanting that tousled look, which seems to be best achieved with a large curling iron - I plan to get one soon myself.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

lmao. this is my break from the Michael Jackson Forum.

i've definitely come a long way from my previous hair practices. i agree, hair should be fun. if it isn't fun and is becoming a hassle, i might as well cut it off and i don't want to do that because i like my hair.

maybe i'll get it highlighted... *gasp*

ooooo ! ! I Love Highlights.....If You Do....

At Least You'll Know How to Take Care of It.

*and don't cut*

 

[Dani.Nicole]

I don't buy into the protective styling and all that jazz because my hair was doing just fine before I found this forum. And at the time, I used heat once a week. I think the types of practices you incorporate into your regimen depends on the person. For me, I hate protective styling because I don't feel attractive. I've never had a retention problem. And the only breakage I've endured is from not using a heat protectant. After that mishap my hair grew back like nothing ever happened. For some, this may not be the case so protective styling is their only option. If it's not working for you, do what makes you happy! You can use heat once a week and without severe damage.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I don't buy into the protective styling and all that jazz because my hair was doing just fine before I found this forum. And at the time, I used heat once a week. I think the types of practices you incorporate into your regimen depends on the person. For me, I hate protective styling because I don't feel attractive. I've never had a retention problem. And the only breakage I've endured is from not using a heat protectant. After that mishap my hair grew back like nothing ever happened. For some, this may not be the case so protective styling is their only option. If it's not working for you, do what makes you happy! You can use heat once a week and without severe damage.

How long is the longest your hair has ever been?

OP, I agree that you should have fun with your hair. You have the rest of your life to make to to MBL. I figure it's like this: after you get there, it'll kinda be like "now what?" Get that trim and wear your hair down....that's an ORDER!

 

[gissellr78]

Do what makes you happy!!!! let your hair down..get crazy..curl it do whatever.

moderation is key. Don't stress yourself out and yes get a trim if you need it

 

[theprototype]

LivingDol1, there are a lot of ladies here who use heat on a somewhat regular basis (weekly; bi-weekly) and have beautiful hair. One that comes to mind is shtow (who has GORGEOUS hair, by the way). You can check out the Heat Users Support Thread.

I have recently gone back to blowdrying on a low heat setting (with some cool shots here and there) because airdrying doesn't work for me, and I don't always feel like sitting under my hooded dryer for over an hour rollersetting, and so far so good. As long as you're using heat protectant, and not using maximum heat, etc. I think it should be fine (but of course everyone's hair is different).

As for having some curl at the end, try using flexi rods. Maybe 2-4 for your entire head, so that you just have the loose curls you're looking for.

You have to do what's right for you, and you have every right to enjoy your hair. If wearing it out is what will allow you to do that, GO FOR IT!

 

[Dani.Nicole]

BSL. There are some practices I could've incorporated now that would've allowed me to grow it longer. I just trimmed my hair regularly so any length I got, some of it was cut.

How long is the longest your hair has ever been?

OP, I agree that you should have fun with your hair. You have the rest of your life to make to to MBL. I figure it's like this: after you get there, it'll kinda be like "now what?" Get that trim and wear your hair down....that's an ORDER!

 

[Kellum]

A blow dryer on low setting is not going to hurt you. I use it on my hair and have not had any set backs at all. Have fun with your hair. Don't get stressed out.

 

[soulfusion]

That's some good advice silkii ...

I say go for it girl! Do what works for you. I never wear my hair in a bun and use my blowdryer and curling iron when I want and my hair has still managed to grow from just below shoulder length to nearly midback in just under 2 1/2 years.

It is possible to achieve your goals without hiding your hair constantly. Just keep your protein and moisture balance in check, don't over do it with relaxers and heat and always protect your hair when sleeping and you should be fine.

 

[Aviah]

.... *sigh*

i've spent the last year and a half trying to have healthy hair and grow my hair to MBL.

i roller set. i wear my hair UP 90% of the time. i resist the urge to use the blow dryer. i DC. i don't use combs with seams. i try to avoid using cones.

i put my hair in braids for a 7 week break. i took out my hair and it was longer but my ends are splitting. i haven't had a trim in over 6 months... i got a touch up relaxer... but did not allow my stylist to trim my hair because i can't justify handing over $50 to a man who is just going to do something to my hair that i'm not going to like or approve of in the end. might as well hold me up at gun point...

but i know that i need a trim! which sucks because i made good growing progress. sometimes, i think that i'll never make MBL because maybe my hair just doesn't want to be moisturized past APL or BSL.

then i realized... what's with all of these challenges? what am i trying to do? I want to have long, healthy hair... but... what is the point when i put all of this work into my hair and all i do is hide it?

i want to use a blow dryer sometimes... because i can't always set aside 4 hours to wash, DC, and roller set, and sit under a dryer. i also want to use a blow dryer on a low heat setting instead of cool because my hair lays softer and has more movement when i use heat vs cool.

i want to use a CHI flatiron. with heat protectant of course.

...and sometimes, i want to curl my ends to get that cute wavy tousled look.

wearing a southern tease bun makes me look professional at times... which is fine... but i'm also YOUNG. i don't want to wear a BUN. i am not a librarian!

i'm quitting every challenge. i've learned a lot and will apply it to fit my life as i see fit. my hair isn't going to govern my weekly schedule anymore!!!

and if anyone in NYC knows of a good stylist who will give a reasonable trim and not go scissor happy then please PM me!

ITA PSing and no heat was working so well but I wanted variety! Enjoy!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

this is why i stoped roller setting becuase i got scared of this...... ill just stick to what works, ill rollerset maybe 2 times a month

 

[I Am So Blessed]

i feel you about the buns, thats why i do hair clamps, you can ps without looking dumpy so i clip up my hair in these (the jumbo ones) and have my bangs out with some curls on side, its cute and young, im young too and dont want to look older hahaahahahahhah

 

[dimechiq]

yeah i'm almost there. I never did a thing and mine would grown mbl with no care. I'd wash whenever sometimes i might condition but just nothing. Now that my system is going haywire i actually have to do things to help it. And that still isn't changing the game. Tired dude.

 

[ceebee3]

Heat is not the enemy! LOL! You will be fine, use the blow dryer if you want to.

The problem is abusing heat which you won't be doing.

If you like the toussled look you can use the Carusos they're great for that too!

Just up your protein/moisture if you'll be using more heat and your hair will be fine.

 

[LivingDol1]

LivingDol1, there are a lot of ladies here who use heat on a somewhat regular basis (weekly; bi-weekly) and have beautiful hair. One that comes to mind is shtow (who has GORGEOUS hair, by the way). You can check out the Heat Users Support Thread.

.....

As for having some curl at the end, try using flexi rods. Maybe 2-4 for your entire head, so that you just have the loose curls you're looking for.

You have to do what's right for you, and you have every right to enjoy your hair. If wearing it out is what will allow you to do that, GO FOR IT!

If you like the toussled look you can use the Carusos they're great for that too!

Just up your protein/moisture if you'll be using more heat and your hair will be fine.

I never wear my hair in a bun and use my blowdryer and curling iron when I want and my hair has still managed to grow from just below shoulder length to nearly midback in just under 2 1/2 years.

It is possible to achieve your goals without hiding your hair constantly. Just keep your protein and moisture balance in check, don't over do it with relaxers and heat and always protect your hair when sleeping and you should be fine.

Everything in moderation...there is nothing wrong with the occasional use of heat and wearing your hair down now and then. As long as you have good consistent practices (which I know you do) your hair will still flourish.

ETA: I know exactly what you mean about wanting that tousled look, which seems to be best achieved with a large curling iron - I plan to get one soon myself.

great suggestions ladies! i have some steam rollers sitting around that i could try... and i haven't used flexi rods before, so for that wavy look, it might be a good idea.

i think updos should be reserved for rainy days, hot days, and when your hair doesn't feel so fresh and it's due for a wash. no more madness!

 

[30something]

Sometimes you just gotta do what you really want to do. However watch out, because this has happen to me, don't jumping into the far end because of frustration. Flat iron every week destroyed my ends that haven't been trimmed in ages.

Ceebee3 suggested Caruso rollers thats a great idea, I have been trying flexi rod sets, maybe you should try some more set style and stuff like that. Go out do a haul, buy more flexi rods and in different sizes, hand bands, cool accessories, even setting lotions or shine product, it will totally get you excited about your hair again.

and no.. I don't know of anyone in NYC that I would trust to refer you to for trims... but if you are in need of a trim please let them go... my mistake #2.