Random (men) Thoughts On The Internet

[movingforward13]

In one of my Facebook groups I am in- the topic was cheating. Something like why do women stay versus men leaving.

Some of these men were quite frank. They explained that men have more self esteem than women to stay with a cheater (in so many words). That men loved themselves more than they love her for her to mistreat them, etc.

Thoughts on this?

 

[Shimmie]

As your name states... "Moving Forward". If the man wants to leave, let him leave.

Basically, when a woman is unfaithful to a man, it makes him feel he's lacking in his 'manhood'. He feels the 'other man' has outdone him and he simply cannot get past his wife/his woman having a desire for someone other than him. He can't compete with that. If he humbles himself to 'fix' what led her astray, he feels he's being weak, so he chooses to leave the situation rather than face it.

ETA:
I have to be honest. I never thought that any woman would be unfaithful. As woman, there is truly a high level of loyalty in our relationships. Yet, if a man cheats with a woman, than she's also cheating right along with him.

Just sharing a thought that's been in my mind for decades.

 

[Shimmie]

@movingforward13

Is there a link that you can post to some of the comments made by the men? Hopefully, their language is clean

 

[movingforward13]

I was looking for it and can’t find it. I do have screen shots though.

 

[movingforward13]

This one was interesting

 

[movingforward13]

Another

 

[movingforward13]

Last one- it was a good topic and what these men are saying should be listened to (IMO)

 

[Evolving78]

ego Or not, you teach people how you want to be treated. If you accept being lied to and cheated on, then what else do you expect? Your presence and how you respond dictates your future. And women have been conditioned to tolerate being lied to and cheated on. But we can’t put the blame on others for what we accept in our own lives. If you don’t want to be treated that way, then don’t tolerate, don’t allow it. Create healthy boundaries. Life will go on. Never put yourself in a position where if you are healthy and able bodied that you have to depend on what someone else does, in order to sustain your lifestyle, or your happiness.

 

[momi]

Men leaving when their wives cheat is an urban myth. I used to think the same because “men don’t stay” is what I’d always heard in the streets. I think men that were already preparing to or looking for an excuse to leave may divorce, but I know of at least 3 that have remained.

Maybe it’s just that men don’t tell when they’ve been cheated on, while women tell it all. I don’t think their egos can handle telling their homeboys that their wives have stepped out. Another thing, men aren’t generally sleuths when it comes to that kind of thing. Do they go through phones and such? Women probably cheat more than they realize but maybe they are less likely to get caught? Idk

Sorry for the randomness. Good post op.

 

[OhTall1]

Men leaving when their wives cheat is an urban myth.

That's why my former boss left his wife. Based on the stories he told me before I knew they were getting divorced, he seemed to be very devoted to his wife and kids - though I completely understand that I only know one side of the story.

 

[momi]

That's why my former boss left his wife. Based on the stories he told me before I knew they were getting divorced, he seemed to be very devoted to his wife and kids - though I completely understand that I only know one side of the story.

I’m sure it happens but I would say the percentage that stay vs. leave is not what we’ve been led to believe.

 

[NijaG]

I’m with @momi

Do more men leave than women when cheated on? Most likely, but I don’t believe the ratios is a wide as men and women believe.

I also think society/cultural norms play a big part also. The responses of these men are disingenuous especially trying to attribute the women staying to just a self-esteem problem.

People want to act like you can wipe out hundreds n thousands of years of cultural norms, habits and thought processes.

What women have accepted- as good and/or bad behavior from men did not happen out of the blue. There are still lots of societies and sub-cultures that expect women to stay after a man (spouse) has cheated especially with children involved.

 

[hothair]

Um, many men I know that were cheated on stayed. Not least raising other folks'(the other man's) child.

I think the difference is that men tend not to share they were cheated on unless they truly want out. Women tell everyone.

 

[hothair]

Men leaving when their wives cheat is an urban myth. I used to think the same because “men don’t stay” is what I’d always heard in the streets. I think men that were already preparing to or looking for an excuse to leave may divorce, but I know of at least 3 that have remained.

Maybe it’s just that men don’t tell when they’ve been cheated on, while women tell it all. I don’t think their egos can handle telling their homeboys that their wives have stepped out. Another thing, men aren’t generally sleuths when it comes to that kind of thing. Do they go through phones and such? Women probably cheat more than they realize but maybe they are less likely to get caught? Idk

Sorry for the randomness. Good post op.

Lol I didn't see this before I posted. Total co-sign