Question: Mismatched In Marriage

[hunnychile]

Looking up stuff on spiritually mismatched marriages and I can find VERY, VERY little on believing husband + unbelieving wife but an abundance of info on the reverse (Christian wife + unbelieving husband).

I know there is probably no true answer to this, but why is there such a disparity in the information I can find?

 

[Divine.]

There could be so many reasons why:

1. Women are naturally "fixers." Some Christian women continue dating an unbeliever because she thinks she can change him. This is very common.

2. There seems to be more women in pursuit of relationship with God than men. There are Christian men out there, but go to a church on any given Sunday and you'll see mostly women. Because of this, Christian women are finding themselves in unequally yoked relationships. The wait to find "the one" can literally takes years, and this isn't an exaggeration.

3. Men aren't as vocal as women. There could be thousands of men in this type of situation but unlike women, they don't discuss their problems as openly.

4. Most men aren't as pressed to be in a relationship as women. A lot of women can't stand the wait and settle. The man ends up landing with Mrs. Right because he was able to wait for her.

I'm sure there are other reasons but these are the ones that stand out to me.

 

[Ivonnovi]

My personal experience and conversations have led me to believe the following:

• A man who is serious about his religion will seek a woman who shares the same fundamental beliefs, if not the same seriousness. Sorta like acknowledging the mindset that they know "you can't change a wh__re into a wife. " Women, on the other hand seem to have no problem with "fixer-upper" style relationships.
  
• It seems to me that we romanticize the possibilities of change; whereas men look at it the reality of "what it is", in this case we're talking about Faith.

 

[CoilyFields]

The disparity is true to life.

If a man is spiritually centered he literally will have his pick of God-fearing women...at tons of church's. When a woman is spiritually centered there is a serious dearth of like-minded men. So many Christian women will settle for a man who "believes" in God (weather he is a sinner or a backslidden saint). And hence, the struggle begins.

I also think that women are more apt to follow their Husbands lead, especially towards God. Men have a lot of pride issues that they deal with when it comes to submission and following (God, a wife, or a Pastor).