Putting Yourself Out There....?

[LivingDol1]

hey ladies,

so i am tired of being single and really don't want to be so i am telling myself that i will NOT be single. i will meet someone amazing who thinks the same of me and it worthy of my affection.

i can't just tell myself that though. i have to "put myself out there"!

so, tonight i went out for Canada Day. my canadian friends and i went to this bar that was celebrating the day. lots of fun, tons of cute guys! like everywhere!!!

this one really exceptionally looking guy said hi and happy canada day to me and my friends. we got to chatting. he was talking to a ton of people so i just assumed he was a very social person. he wasn't flirtatious or anything but he was super nice! i considered asking him if he uses facebook because it just doesn't make sense to go out and meet someone and never ever talk to them again. but i didn't want to ask for his number sine i didn't know his status... like, was he straight, bi, single, married... you never know!!! so i asked him towards the end of the night. we looked him up via my phone and he added me as a friend. he told me he had a girlfriend, and i said that's fine. i made a point to say that it's nice to meet someone really cool and actually trade info! and his friend said earlier that if i friended his friend, i should friend him as well.

that's not weird is it? he did say something about how i was pretty and if he were single... but i opted to not respond to that. lol. him and his friend came off as really nice and i'm hoping that if we do keep in touch, maybe he has friends that i might find attractive.

i think if i broaden my circle, and make a point to include more men in it, well, that only has to mean i'll meet more men, right? i am not the type to exchange info with anyone i meet just once but how else am i going to put myself out there?!!

what else are YOU doing to put yourself out there?

I think I need to go read The Secret now or something... lol.

 

[Skiggle]

hey ladies,

so i am tired of being single and really don't want to be so i am telling myself that i will NOT be single. i will meet someone amazing who thinks the same of me and it worthy of my affection.

i can't just tell myself that though. i have to "put myself out there"!

so, tonight i went out for Canada Day. my canadian friends and i went to this bar that was celebrating the day. lots of fun, tons of cute guys! like everywhere!!!

this one really exceptionally looking guy said hi and happy canada day to me and my friends. we got to chatting. he was talking to a ton of people so i just assumed he was a very social person. he wasn't flirtatious or anything but he was super nice! i considered asking him if he uses facebook because it just doesn't make sense to go out and meet someone and never ever talk to them again. but i didn't want to ask for his number sine i didn't know his status... like, was he straight, bi, single, married... you never know!!! so i asked him towards the end of the night. we looked him up via my phone and he added me as a friend. he told me he had a girlfriend, and i said that's fine. i made a point to say that it's nice to meet someone really cool and actually trade info! and his friend said earlier that if i friended his friend, i should friend him as well.

that's not weird is it? he did say something about how i was pretty and if he were single... but i opted to not respond to that. lol. him and his friend came off as really nice and i'm hoping that if we do keep in touch, maybe he has friends that i might find attractive.

i think if i broaden my circle, and make a point to include more men in it, well, that only has to mean i'll meet more men, right? i am not the type to exchange info with anyone i meet just once but how else am i going to put myself out there?!!

what else are YOU doing to put yourself out there?

I think I need to go read The Secret now or something... lol.

Honestly, I'm smiling more.
Eh.. most
guys say they're afraid to approach me
because I always look like I'm too tense or
mean muggin'. (spelling?)
So, I'm smiling more and being
friendly when I am at parties/events.
It's been working....

 

[LivingDol1]

Honestly, I'm smiling more.
Eh.. most
guys say they're afraid to approach me
because I always look like I'm too tense or
mean muggin'. (spelling?)
So, I'm smiling more and being
friendly when I am at parties/events.
It's been working....

i completely agree with you. appearing more approachable helps. smiling more is a good point! i have also been told that i look intimidating to guys. quite frankly, i have waked past my reflection in the mirror once and scared myself.

i'm also trying to be a better conversationalist and ask people more questions about themselves. i've somehow been trained to answer what is asked of me and not ask anything additional. people loooove to talk about themselves.

 

[Skiggle]

i completely agree with you. appearing more approachable helps. smiling more is a good point! i have also been told that i look intimidating to guys. quite frankly, i have waked past my reflection in the mirror once and scared myself.

i'm also trying to be a better conversationalist and ask people more questions about themselves. i've somehow been trained to answer what is asked of me and not ask anything additional. people loooove to talk about themselves.

The bold is very true, with me!.
I usually try to listen, before
I make conversation.
I hate blurting out stupid things...
But I think "putting yourself" out
there is very pro-active.
I like this thread.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Wow. You're so pretty OP, I just don't get it. Is the dating scene in NYC that's bad? Down here you'd get snatched up real fast. Glad to see you getting out there and being proactive in your search. Keep us updated.

 

[LivingDol1]

Wow. You're so pretty OP, I just don't get it. Is the dating scene in NYC that's bad? Down here you'd get snatched up real fast. Glad to see you getting out there and being proactive in your search. Keep us updated.

thank you for the compliment. unfortunately, YES it is that bad in NYC. there are so many gorgeous women out there who are educated, have great jobs, are financially secure,... but they are single!

i don't want to say that there aren't any men here but in my surroundings, it's impossible to meet men! i work in the fashion industry, so everyone i know is a gay guy or a girl. very few straight men in my life. and my past hasn't helped b/c i went to design school and an all girls high school prior to that...

i don't think it's impossible to meet a man because the majority of my NYC friends are married or are in serious relationships... and they met in the city!!

trying to have positive thoughts!

so, i really wanna know what other people are doing to put themselves out there!!! c'mon ladies. let's have a productive summer!

 

[gabulldawg]

For me, it was letting other people know that I'm looking for a mate. One of my cousins actually introduced me to the guy I'm currently dating. Let people know that you're interested in being in a relationship, and let them know what kind of relationship you are lookin for.

 

[Highly Favored8]

For me it is just how I am carrying myself. I am putting out positive energy out here and goodness is all I will say. I am a magnet at this moment. I am very selective. So, since my neighbor who has been checking me out for a whole year! I was in total shock. I just kept on keeping on and not looking desperate helped me. I mean this man watched my every move. I then started to notice him more and more. I was like goodness why is he checking me out? I just put him on ignore and kept on. Now he and I are in each others face everyday and we talk. I keep it moving and postive and this attracts this man even more to me. I work on him everyday. Yes, now even though we talk this joker still loves to look at me from his window and smile. Who knows! However, I always had a good and postive attitude towards him and he is loving it.

 

[Shay72]

I'm not doing jack but I need to. My problem is I'm such an introvert. I prefer to stay home which doesn't help.

 

[LivingDol1]

I'm not doing jack but I need to. My problem is I'm such an introvert. I prefer to stay home which doesn't help.

admitting that to yourself is the first step! haha, no, staying at home does not help!

...as i sit here... at my computer... at home... (pssfh, whatever, i did go out last night.)

get a group together to go out. or go hit the gym or something. put yourself in a public place. i'm trying... i'm going to take a yoga class at a gym i haven't been to tomorrow and perhaps put in some time beforehand to work out on the elliptical. maybe there will be some hot guys i can scope out...

 

[in_di_vi_du_al]

hey ladies,

so i am tired of being single and really don't want to be so i am telling myself that i will NOT be single. i will meet someone amazing who thinks the same of me and it worthy of my affection.

i can't just tell myself that though. i have to "put myself out there"!

so, tonight i went out for Canada Day. my canadian friends and i went to this bar that was celebrating the day. lots of fun, tons of cute guys! like everywhere!!!

this one really exceptionally looking guy said hi and happy canada day to me and my friends. we got to chatting. he was talking to a ton of people so i just assumed he was a very social person. he wasn't flirtatious or anything but he was super nice! i considered asking him if he uses facebook because it just doesn't make sense to go out and meet someone and never ever talk to them again. but i didn't want to ask for his number sine i didn't know his status... like, was he straight, bi, single, married... you never know!!! so i asked him towards the end of the night. we looked him up via my phone and he added me as a friend. he told me he had a girlfriend, and i said that's fine. i made a point to say that it's nice to meet someone really cool and actually trade info! and his friend said earlier that if i friended his friend, i should friend him as well.

that's not weird is it? he did say something about how i was pretty and if he were single... but i opted to not respond to that. lol. him and his friend came off as really nice and i'm hoping that if we do keep in touch, maybe he has friends that i might find attractive.

i think if i broaden my circle, and make a point to include more men in it, well, that only has to mean i'll meet more men, right? i am not the type to exchange info with anyone i meet just once but how else am i going to put myself out there?!!

what else are YOU doing to put yourself out there?

I think I need to go read The Secret now or something... lol.

Im going out more, mingling more and actually taking the TIME to get to know other people-networking. Ive been successful thusfar!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I prefer for the guy to approach and show interest first. Why? The dynamic of his pursant of you is different. However, I do agree that being more approaching...laughing, smiling, tossing hair, feminine, sexy, yet classy....it makes a big difference in the guys that will take notice of you.

 

[Tybi]

I like all the advice given so far. Just getting out, I don't mean necessarily to the club is good. I have met men in line at the grocery store, the bank, the gas station. You never know.

OP, I am in the same boat as you. I am not a club girl, but I actually went out last night. The place was packed with men, but it was hard to talk to anyone, plus there were so many people that you could not stop to say anything anyway! Thats why I prefer meeting people elsewhere. Be brave and go to a coffee shop alone or with a girl friend. Take your time, smile. I am learning to initiate conversations also. Can you imagine being a man and having to be the one to do that every time??!! Just be friendly and yourself, thats the easiest way. Now the next hurdle is actually meeting someone that we are attracted to!

 

[LivingDol1]

I like all the advice given so far. Just getting out, I don't mean necessarily to the club is good. I have met men in line at the grocery store, the bank, the gas station. You never know.

OP, I am in the same boat as you. I am not a club girl, but I actually went out last night. The place was packed with men, but it was hard to talk to anyone, plus there were so many people that you could not stop to say anything anyway! Thats why I prefer meeting people elsewhere. Be brave and go to a coffee shop alone or with a girl friend. Take your time, smile. I am learning to initiate conversations also. Can you imagine being a man and having to be the one to do that every time??!! Just be friendly and yourself, thats the easiest way. Now the next hurdle is actually meeting someone that we are attracted to!

yeah, it's the going out alone part that i can't really get a handle on. i don't go anywhere alone and when i go out to run errands, i'm not focused on meeting anyone.

i'm really frustrated today because PS 1 is happening tomorrow. it's a party in queens that's connected to the MOMA art museum. that's where i met my ex-boyfriend last year. i really want to go tomorrow since it's a day time event and the guys there are creative, which is my type... but none of my friends are available to go with me or they would rather do something like chill out in the park. i can't go alone because i am worried i will see my ex while waiting in line or something. i'm feeling anxious about the summer and don't really want to spend my time doing something that won't put me in a good position to meet men. i spend way too much of my time with girls and gay men. love my friends but... they're not helpful.

i need more options. i am going to try to go to the gym tomorrow for 30 minutes. just work out on the machines and check out the scene...

 

[hopeful]

yeah, it's the going out alone part that i can't really get a handle on. i don't go anywhere alone and when i go out to run errands, i'm not focused on meeting anyone.

i'm really frustrated today because PS 1 is happening tomorrow. it's a party in queens that's connected to the MOMA art museum. that's where i met my ex-boyfriend last year. i really want to go tomorrow since it's a day time event and the guys there are creative, which is my type... but none of my friends are available to go with me or they would rather do something like chill out in the park. i can't go alone because i am worried i will see my ex while waiting in line or something. i'm feeling anxious about the summer and don't really want to spend my time doing something that won't put me in a good position to meet men. i spend way too much of my time with girls and gay men. love my friends but... they're not helpful.

i need more options. i am going to try to go to the gym tomorrow for 30 minutes. just work out on the machines and check out the scene...

I think you should go and not worry about bumping into your ex, especially since it's a daytime event and you sound so interested. This is a perfect opportunity to work on going out alone. Unless you are afraid of your ex or something like that, otherwise I say go.

 

[LivingDol1]

I think you should go and not worry about bumping into your ex, especially since it's a daytime event and you sound so interested. This is a perfect opportunity to work on going out alone. Unless you are afraid of your ex or something like that, otherwise I say go.

i don't want to go to a place like that alone... it's huge and crowded and it's just far out. my ex would go alone but he's an odd ball. not afraid of him but i haven't seen him since breaking up so i'd like to go with friends and be sufficiently distracted...

i'm going to the park today (after i wash my hair) and then i've done something else not like myself. i signed up for okcupid last night... a british guy imed me. he's cute, tall, and he just moved here a month ago. i've agreed to meet him for drinks next friday after work. i haven't gone on any sort of an online date in a very long time. so here's hoping i don't chicken out!

 

[edenhere]

I've been to PS 1. That is an insane scene. I love how they fix up the outside space and also how you have access to the museum and the exhibits.

Also check out Brooklyn's Museum's First Saturday, which is today. They have creative types and hordes of beautiful people there. A very diverse group too. You also have access to the museum exhibits and during the summer they have a dance party out in the parking lot.

 

[LivingDol1]

I've been to PS 1. That is an insane scene. I love how they fix up the outside space and also how you have access to the museum and the exhibits.

Also check out Brooklyn's Museum's First Saturday, which is today. They have creative types and hordes of beautiful people there. A very diverse group too. You also have access to the museum exhibits and during the summer they have a dance party out in the parking lot.

that is something i absolutely want to check out. damn today.... i will go in august though for sure. i need to find friends who actually want to go out. lol. sad.

 

[edenhere]

that is something i absolutely want to check out. damn today.... i will go in august though for sure. i need to find friends who actually want to go out. lol. sad.

That would actually make a great LHCF meeting in New York. We can meet in August at Brooklyn Museum or at PS 1 on Saturday and all get together. Brooklyn Museum is free, yet I know PS 1 charges a fee yet I don't know how much.

 

[Tybi]

^^^^Good idea! Do a meet-up there! If I were back in New York I would go with you today livingdol1.

I hope your date goes well, don't chicken out!!

 

[LivingDol1]

That would actually make a great LHCF meeting in New York. We can meet in August at Brooklyn Museum or at PS 1 on Saturday and all get together. Brooklyn Museum is free, yet I know PS 1 charges a fee yet I don't know how much.

dude i would so be down for that. that would be an awesome LHCF meet up! we would take over that spot. lol. PS1 charges $20 unless you are a member. members get in for free.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

I'm not doing jack but I need to. My problem is I'm such an introvert. I prefer to stay home which doesn't help.

this is soo me. and i've come to realize i can be a bit anti-social and i get the you look mean or angry look, not to mention i look sooo young for my age. i still look like a teenager lol. anyways, i'm really trying to go out more. and i find sometimes while out, if i simply say something like, that looks like an interesting drink, they men usually take the lead from there. i also try to look my best whenever i leave the house. i realized you cant meet someone while sitting in the house, you have to get out. even if its just going to borders or bn to read a book, or walk around best buy. trying not to just sit around watching tv all day. lolol i've given up on the having friends hook me up, although i've heard its a great way to meet your mate, most of the times the guy turned out to have serious issues or was psychotic.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Those of us who are introverts need to suck it up and get out there but I understand how difficult it is. I don't know if any of you feel this way but I find that I'm missing out on my life because of my introversion. As much as I would like to be like extroverts, that just isn't me.

 

[LivingDol1]

well maybe it's those introverted friends of mine that are holding me back! i wanna go to PS1 tomorrow dammit! and nobody is getting back to me! all of my friends are going on vacation, are broke, are too shy, or just don't plain want to go!

wtf?!

 

[Kerryann]

Wow. You're so pretty OP, I just don't get it. Is the dating scene in NYC that's bad? Down here you'd get snatched up real fast. Glad to see you getting out there and being proactive in your search. Keep us updated.

yes the dating scene is bad very bad there are not enough men in NY at all im so readyfor a change being around different people makes a difference in your personal life

 

[cheetarah1980]

well maybe it's those introverted friends of mine that are holding me back! i wanna go to PS1 tomorrow dammit! and nobody is getting back to me! all of my friends are going on vacation, are broke, are too shy, or just don't plain want to go!

wtf?!

If you want to go, just go. You don't need your friends there with you. In fact if your goal is to put yourself out there, attending this event by yourself is a very good look. Wear something cute and go out there and enjoy yourself.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

If you want to go, just go. You don't need your friends there with you. In fact if your goal is to put yourself out there, attending this event by yourself is a very good look. Wear something cute and go out there and enjoy yourself.

I find this is easier said than done. If you go somewhere alone, it seems like people are constantly staring at you because your alone. This is one reason why I don't do many things alone. School and work are one thing but anything else other than that, I prefer to go with someone.

 

[LivingDol1]

If you want to go, just go. You don't need your friends there with you. In fact if your goal is to put yourself out there, attending this event by yourself is a very good look. Wear something cute and go out there and enjoy yourself.

it would be fine to go alone if i were a GUY but it just doesn't work that way. the above poster is dead on. people will stare. the lonely loser who couldn't find anyone to go with... plus, this is a place that my ex-boyfriend frequents so i do not want to be caught dead there ALONE.

infact, i'd love to know, how many women out there actually go out ALONE and have a successful night out. seriously. nobody.

 

[wyldcurlz]

i'm glad you posted this because i too am sick of being single and everyone tells me to "put myself out there" but i have no idea what that even means. i live alone, most of my friends live in other states, so if i go out, i'd have to go alone. i have no idea how to meet new friends (its hard in your late 20s early 30s) and i really have no idea how to "put myself out there." gonna read thru how everyone else is doing it.

 

[LivingDol1]

man. i just got back from a night out. went to a damn singles mixer. that **** was ****ing retarded as god only knows what the ****. seriously.

NEVER EVER go to a SINGLES MIXER! that **** is for desperate ****s. the men were a sad sight. old. crusty. bald. short. leery eyed. my friends and i were the hottest girls there and i swear, i feel like i need to take a shower now b/c i had so many dirtyy eyes on me.... yucky!

at least i can say i went so i know to never go again.

then we went to brass monkey, but it was too early... not too many hot boys. or they were too young. kinda lame.

ugh.

but i am "putting myself out there".

tomorrow, hopefully i will be venturing to PS1. i am trying to have positive thoughts. anyhting is better than that damn singles mixer. shoot, i wanted to slit my wrists just for being there.... ****.....!