Putting Yourself Out There....?

[Bunny77]

I find this is easier said than done. If you go somewhere alone, it seems like people are constantly staring at you because your alone. This is one reason why I don't do many things alone. School and work are one thing but anything else other than that, I prefer to go with someone.

it would be fine to go alone if i were a GUY but it just doesn't work that way. the above poster is dead on. people will stare. the lonely loser who couldn't find anyone to go with... plus, this is a place that my ex-boyfriend frequents so i do not want to be caught dead there ALONE.

infact, i'd love to know, how many women out there actually go out ALONE and have a successful night out. seriously. nobody.

Uh, me.

People aren't staring at you as much as YOU think (usually). It's too often your own self-consciousness that's making you think that they're staring.

You're projecting your own feelings about being uncomfortable onto them. Most times, they ain't hardly thinkin' about you, seriously!

 

[LivingDol1]

whatever. i am just not the going out alone type. the fact that i would only resort to going out alone b/c my friends aren't available is depressing and that's not a reason for me to go out alone.

speaking of which, PS1 is starting... where the **** are my friends... nowhere because they suck...

nevermind. one texted me. ugh. i'm going. wish me luck.

 

[Bunny77]

I guess I just don't see the point in one complaining about a situation if they're determined they're just going to keeping doing the same thing all the time and that they just "don't" do other things because that's not them.

So go ahead, do the same thing and accept the same results knowing that's how it is, then just deal with the frustration and hope to maybe get lucky one day.

That's all anyone can really do with the choices they decide to make.

 

[LivingDol1]

I guess I just don't see the point in one complaining about a situation if they're determined they're just going to keeping doing the same thing all the time and that they just "don't" do other things because that's not them.

So go ahead, do the same thing and accept the same results knowing that's how it is, then just deal with the frustration and hope to maybe get lucky one day.

That's all anyone can really do with the choices they decide to make.

then you can leave the thread. there are other ways to put yourself out there besides going out alone.

 

[wyldcurlz]

I guess I just don't see the point in one complaining about a situation if they're determined they're just going to keeping doing the same thing all the time and that they just "don't" do other things because that's not them.

So go ahead, do the same thing and accept the same results knowing that's how it is, then just deal with the frustration and hope to maybe get lucky one day.

That's all anyone can really do with the choices they decide to make.

i see what you mean, its along the lines of "keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting." however, it IS very hard to go alone. i'm not even sure where to go alone...i'd really feel uncomfortable going to a bar alone. and in the past when i've gone alone, people do not approach me. (well, maybe the big, lonely, scary looking guy in the corner that no one wants anything to do with will approach me.) i have no idea what my problem is because people do not approach me for friendship or anything more. and then i get uncomfortable about walking up to a group and trying to befriend people because no one is doing that to me. its a vicious cycle, but true.

where do you go alone?

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

then you can leave the thread. there are other ways to put yourself out there besides going out alone.

OP I think she was just trying to give you some sound advice, as someone who does the very same thing that many here are afraid to do.

Bunny is someone on here who always gives awesome advice and helps to see things from the other perspective.

 

[Raspberry]

LivingDol1, maybe you should concentrate on going the places that the type of men you like tend congregate. I will also say that bars and clubs should be low on the list of places to concentrate on.. they're not an efficent way to meet decent men. But if you insist on bars, how about going to a sports bar? Men who go to sports bars aren't there just to pick up chicks which means they are more laid back and personable in that atmosphere as they chill with other men. Plus if you ever do want to go to a sports bar alone, you can go late afternoon on a Saturday or Sunday or at the same time as a big football game (the atmosphere will be fun and pumped up), it's not the same as a nightclub scene at all and a lot of men arrive alone too.

Have you considered joining a local political campaign or community activism group? Great way to meet all types of people. Plus men who get involved in civic activities tend to be more focused, empathetic, and ambitious.

Meetup.com? Intra-mural sports? Gym classes? There's probably all types of things going on in NYC that men you like will be doing.. and it doesn't have to involve going to some strange club alone and feeling like a loser, but you will have to try something new.

 

[MizAvalon]

Uh, me.

People aren't staring at you as much as YOU think (usually). It's too often your own self-consciousness that's making you think that they're staring.

You're projecting your own feelings about being uncomfortable onto them. Most times, they ain't hardly thinkin' about you, seriously!

Exactly. Seriously, people are not thinking about the "poor little lonely girl who couldn't get anyone to come out with her." They do not care.

When I go out alone men FLOCK to me. I wish I had known that it was like that, I would have started going out alone years ago.

ETA:Ok, I read ahead and see that going out alone is really not your thing. Good luck and I hope you get some good suggestions.

 

[jennboo]

Honestly if you want to put yourself out there, you have to...put yourself OUT there...Whatever you do, do not stay in the house...You've got to be in the game to win it.

I guess other ways to put yourself in a position to meet potential mates is to start online dating, join a site, put up a profile, thats the only other thing you can do to get in the game without going out...or ask friends to set you up with people.

 

[Bunny77]

then you can leave the thread. there are other ways to put yourself out there besides going out alone.

I paid my $6.50. I'm hanging around.

 

[Bunny77]

i see what you mean, its along the lines of "keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting." however, it IS very hard to go alone. i'm not even sure where to go alone...i'd really feel uncomfortable going to a bar alone. and in the past when i've gone alone, people do not approach me. (well, maybe the big, lonely, scary looking guy in the corner that no one wants anything to do with will approach me.) i have no idea what my problem is because people do not approach me for friendship or anything more. and then i get uncomfortable about walking up to a group and trying to befriend people because no one is doing that to me. its a vicious cycle, but true.

where do you go alone?

Usually restaurants, sports bars (which have a different vibe from other bars) and places where it's not typically designed to "meet and greet." (I hate meet and greets actually... REALLY contrived!)

Just places where people are chillin' and kinda doing their own thing... watching the game, having a drink (whether alcoholic or not), eating, etc.

If you sit at an empty seat at the bar, that takes away from the feeling of having to approach a big group, because that IS very intimidating. Heck, I don't do that!

But if there is an empty seat and you simply ask the person next to you, "Is this seat free?"... that right there is an opener for conversation.

Maybe then ask someone what teams are playing that night or what game is coming on or whatever... the key is to not make it seem like one of those contrived, "This is how you meet people," nights... but just go and talk and "hang."

Hope that helps.

 

[Bunny77]

OP I think she was just trying to give you some sound advice, as someone who does the very same thing that many here are afraid to do.

Bunny is someone on here who always gives awesome advice and helps to see things from the other perspective.

Thank you.

Seriously, folks up here on LHCF are too cute to be single and dateless all the time. I'm just like, get out of the house, get off the internet and get some men, okayyyyy? (Bunny needs to also stop playing around on the internet so much... )

And if what you are doing isn't working, try something else, ya know? What's that Dr. Phil line again?

LivingDol1, maybe you should concentrate on going the places that the type of men you like tend congregate. I will also say that bars and clubs should be low on the list of places to concentrate on.. they're not an efficent way to meet decent men. But if you insist on bars, how about going to a sports bar? Men who go to sports bars aren't there just to pick up chicks which means they are more laid back and personable in that atmosphere as they chill with other men. Plus if you ever do want to go to a sports bar alone, you can go late afternoon on a Saturday or Sunday or at the same time as a big football game (the atmosphere will be fun and pumped up), it's not the same as a nightclub scene at all and a lot of men arrive alone too.

Have you considered joining a local political campaign or community activism group? Great way to meet all types of people. Plus men who get involved in civic activities tend to be more focused, empathetic, and ambitious.

Meetup.com? Intra-mural sports? Gym classes? There's probably all types of things going on in NYC that men you like will be doing.. and it doesn't have to involve going to some strange club alone and feeling like a loser, but you will have to try something new.

All great ideas!!!

I definitely think it's kinda good to stay away from a specific singles "scene." Meat-market feel, ick. I mean, if there are certain events and clubs people want to go to just for fun, then by all means, continue to go, but to expect good prospects to come from clubs... well, yeah, not likely.

The key is to be where MEN are. We want to get with MEN, so we need to go where MEN hang out.

 

[kayte]

then you can leave the thread.

I paid my $6.50. I'm hanging around

For what it's worth... I don't sense that the OP was saying to get lost

..what I heard more was is...if....you cannot be supportive,then you're not on board with my agenda,and that is not what I need...

and while it's true it could be and was argued that the post was meant to be helpful.... OP said something pretty significant which got lost in all the board dynamics and that is

there are other ways to put yourself out there besides going out alone.

she actually gave some solid reasons(though she did not have to)
why this one ..method... does not work for her and it even sounds like she has tried it...
{{dating methods are not a one size fits all.}}.
OP's wise to know herself and to discard what does not work....for her

So go ahead, do the same thing and accept the same results knowing that's how it is, then just deal with the frustration and hope to maybe get lucky one day.

Re-read her posts!!! She's taking a million admirable actions..even though admittedly
some of them...tank...LOL

LOLLOLOLOL
OT
sorry-sorry -sorry I was laffin out loud about the unappetzing men she came across...I think some of her posts are actually hilarious..I hope OP is saving these posts becuae they are a very entertaining read..and she might consider a venue....she cld call it...Putting My Self Out There

She's a trouper.. gorgeous girl even got a date with tall cute Brit guy..NEXT week!
she did not just "hope to maybe get lucky"....she's ACTIVELY trying...
But simply because she does not like to go out alone?
justfies that commentary on all her efforts?

going out solo...maybe that works for you and you and you ..
but not for her...or her....... or her
does'nt have to!

so it seemed that... certainly while in the spirit of trying impart some helpful tough love... it might not have been appropos in this particular cirmcumstance...even perhaps a bit dismissive?
and btw..no offense to those who follow the pop cultured relationship gurus so-called experts
but I have only the most profound disrespect and dislike of Dr Phil

Perhaps.. it's kind of understandable why the OP bristled a bit?

just my two pesos

 

[Bunny77]

For what it's worth... I don't sense that the OP was saying to get lost

..what I heard more was is...if....you cannot be supportive,then you're not on board with my agenda,and that is not what I need...

Kayte, with all due respect, I think you are missing the initial disconnect that took place, which warranted my response.

I couldn't care less if the OP or others choose not to go out alone, just as I'm sure that they couldn't care less that I do.

But, the OP asked a specific question, which was...


Originally Posted by LivingDol1
it would be fine to go alone if i were a GUY but it just doesn't work that way. the above poster is dead on. people will stare. the lonely loser who couldn't find anyone to go with... plus, this is a place that my ex-boyfriend frequents so i do not want to be caught dead there ALONE.

infact, i'd love to know, how many women out there actually go out ALONE and have a successful night out. seriously. nobody.

...and I answered her question by saying that YES, I am a woman who does that, and YES, I have many a successful night out, so the "nobody" answer is false.

Then the OP responded with, "whatever." So I responded in kind that one who is complaining about one's dating situation might not want to be so quick to dismiss other suggestions if she is not finding success with what she has been doing.

That's not tough love, that's disputing an incorrect statement that she put out that NO women have success going out alone. I think this entire thread and many threads dispute that notion.

so it seemed that... certainly while in the spirit of trying impart some helpful tough love... it might not have been appropos in this particular cirmcumstance...even perhaps a bit dismissive?

Well, again... unless I misunderstood her tone, I would dare to say that the response of "whatever," to my statement was far more dismissive than what I said in reaction to her.

As for Dr. Phil... whether one likes him or not (and he is not my personal guru... he's like every other TV celeb), I have often found the question, "How's that working for you?" to be a good one for anyone to ask herself if she is wondering why she is holding on to a standard that is clearly not reaping results.

And that was not directed only to the OP, but anyone who is doing the same thing and then wondering why they are getting the same results that they don't like.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a general note (and this is not directed at any particular poster, including the OP), I find it very interesting that there is a common theme that is repeated almost weekly on this board about how to expand social circles and meet more men. There are probably hundreds of threads in which the same variation of this question is asked, and then hundreds of innovative suggestions that are presented.

Now, not all of the suggestions are going to work for everyone. People have to take the ones that work for them, and discard others. But I find that if you ask some of these people six months later how the ideas worked for them, you'll often find that they did NONE of them. Or they did one or two, they didn't work, and then they go back to the routine of work/school/church/one young black professionals singles mixer every three months and then keep complaining how they can't meet people.

No, it's NOT easy to expand one's social circles and get out of one's comfort zone. It's absolutely NOT. I understand that. It takes time. It took time for me.

But if one is disatisfied with one's social life, I truly do not see the point in complaining when it is obvious that there isn't even a wholehearted attempt to change things after options for change have been presented.

 

[LivingDol1]

thank you, kayte. exactly. if one has nothing posititive to contribute to the thread, then move on! basically, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. i paid for my 6.50 as well.

not everyone is going out to places by themselves and that's their choice. thanks for the suggestion but i'd rather take others.

gosh, i was at PS1 yesterday and ran into a guy i knew. I asked him, oh are you here alone? and he goes, "Hell no! I would never come to a place like this by myself!" he's a GROWN MAN and that's the majority NYC mentality for ya. Shoot, people look at me funny when I tell them I met friends online from a craigslist ad. some of the ppl who choose to go out alone out there wouldn't do that either.

For what it's worth... I don't sense that the OP was saying to get lost

..what I heard more was is...if....you cannot be supportive,then you're not on board with my agenda,and that is not what I need...

and while it's true it could be and was argued that the post was meant to be helpful.... OP said something pretty significant which got lost in all the board dynamics and that is


she actually gave some solid reasons(though she did not have to)
why this one ..method... does not work for her and it even sounds like she has tried it...
{{dating methods are not a one size fits all.}}.
OP's wise to know herself and to discard what does not work....for her



Re-read her posts!!! She's taking a million admirable actions..even though admittedly
some of them...tank...LOL

LOLLOLOLOL
OT
sorry-sorry -sorry I was laffin out loud about the unappetzing men she came across...I think some of her posts are actually hilarious..I hope OP is saving these posts becuae they are a very entertaining read..and she might consider a venue....she cld call it...Putting My Self Out There

She's a trouper.. gorgeous girl even got a date with tall cute Brit guy..NEXT week!
she did not just "hope to maybe get lucky"....she's ACTIVELY trying...
But simply because she does not like to go out alone?
justfies that commentary on all her efforts?

going out solo...maybe that works for you and you and you ..
but not for her...or her....... or her
does'nt have to!

so it seemed that... certainly while in the spirit of trying impart some helpful tough love... it might not have been appropos in this particular cirmcumstance...even perhaps a bit dismissive?
and btw..no offense to those who follow the pop cultured relationship gurus so-called experts
but I have only the most profound disrespect and dislike of Dr Phil

Perhaps.. it's kind of understandable why the OP bristled a bit?

just my two pesos

 

[LivingDol1]

OP I think she was just trying to give you some sound advice, as someone who does the very same thing that many here are afraid to do.

Bunny is someone on here who always gives awesome advice and helps to see things from the other perspective.

that's nice but it's my decision to take it or leave it. i'm leaving it. and she was rude to say that what i continue to do will only get me the same results. that's not true. i'm doing a lot. read the thread.

i'm off to my guitar lesson. with my cute guitar teacher. HA.

 

[Bunny77]

that's nice but it's my decision to take it or leave it. i'm leaving it. and she was rude to say that what i continue to do will only get me the same results. that's not true. i'm doing a lot. read the thread.

i'm off to my guitar lesson. with my cute guitar teacher. HA.

And you were just as rude to respond to my first post with, "Whatever."

 

[MizAvalon]

The key is to be where MEN are. We want to get with MEN, so we need to go where MEN hang out.

This needs to be repeated.

I heard an older woman tell a younger one recently that she shouldn't go looking for love. That she should just pray about it.erplexed

Mmm-hmm, sitting around 3 times a week with a bunch of other women in the exact same boat as you are is NOT going to yield you a man.

You want a man? Go to where they are.

 

[Bunny77]

This needs to be repeated.

I heard an older woman tell a younger one recently that she shouldn't go looking for love. That she should just pray about it.erplexed

Mmm-hmm, sitting around 3 times a week with a bunch of other women in the exact same boat as you are is NOT going to yield you a man.

You want a man? Go to where they are.

Not. the. just. pray. about. it. response.

And WHY is it often the older (and usually married or once married) Christian men and women who say this?? I bet they didn't do one bit of praying for a husband, but just happened to live in a time where people were more likely to marry and one didn't have to weed out as many losers.

I am sometimes very envious of the way other religions and cultures have structures in place to help people find each other... as opposed to giving the very passive, "just pray on it" line.

 

[Evolution76]

You don't know me like that, Bunny! I shouldn't laugh but that is me all day. I do a couple of things and actually have fun, reconnect with old friends and meet new associates. Then somehow I fall back into the routine and later wonder: Why haven't I met anyone yet? I'm working on it, though. Habit is sometimes so hard to break...

And I agree with going where the men are, whether alone or with friends.

 

[UmSumayyah]

http://creoleindc.typepad.com/ranti...04/how-to-date-101-break-out-of-the-pack.html

 

[kayte]

Kayte, with all due respect, I think you are missing the initial disconnect that took place, which warranted my response.
I couldn't care less if the OP or others choose not to go out alone, just as I'm sure that they couldn't care less that I do.
But, the OP asked a specific question, which was

...

Oh..no disrespect!
I actually DID read the entire thread as I was confused.....puzzled by your response myself.....I wanted to make sure ..I was not misreading

...and I answered her question by saying that YES, I am a woman who does that, and YES, I have many a successful night out, so the "nobody" answer is false.

Hey Bunny..that is actually NOT what you said....
That actually could have been quite helpful

Uh, me.
People aren't staring at you as much as YOU think (usually). It's too often your own self-consciousness that's making you think that they're staring. You're projecting your own feelings about being uncomfortable onto them. Most times, they ain't hardly thinkin' about you, seriously!

is what you said..

and btw, you don't know that that is her experience about projections
it's likely yours..but anyways that particular response I found
... off-putting...it had nothing to do with the helpful suggestions
of naviagting being out solo....the response was made it about...her
how no one's looking at her and whatever..
it's to OP's credit that she brushed it off
..it could have been seen as an insult

Then the OP responded with, "whatever."

that's not true either that's not what she said
what she said to you was....

whatever. i am just not the going out alone type. the fact that i would only resort to going out alone b/c my friends aren't available is depressing and that's not a reason for me to go out alone.
speaking of which, PS1 is starting... where the **** are my friends... nowhere because they suck...
nevermind. one texted me. ugh. i'm going. wish me luck.

She wasnt being rude to you
she brushed off the not so helpful comments and she went on to explain
in a poignant revealing way......why solo outings do not work
for her
not for all of womankind as she initially stated..

then she kind of starting..... lol..free associating...
thinkng aloud about the prospects in front of her
and then she asked you.....to wish her luck

how is that dismissive?

So I responded in kind that one who is complaining about one's dating situation might not want to be so quick to dismiss other suggestions if she is not finding success with what she has been doing

sigh.....she dismissed the part about
they ain't hardly thinkin' about you, seriously
however well -intentioned..it was not...the nicest comment
she didn't even dignify an answer to any of that...except a one word
'whatever' which was smart of her

That's not tough love, that's disputing an incorrect statement that she put out that NO women have success going out alone. I think this entire thread and many threads dispute that notion.

she retracted it by speaking spoke about her own experience
she corrected herself...

Well, again... unless I misunderstood her tone, I would dare to say that the response of "whatever," to my statement was far more dismissive than what I said in reaction to her.

wow..it's right there...in her post...that's not all she said

misunderstand? yup ya did
you went a lil further though...you posted her statements
but...out of context..as evidence..when it just simply
...was not even true
you maintain all along all she said was... "whatever"
and I guess you saw that as ..disresepctful?

but even if she did say only that.. ..shrug.
she did not agree but she was not rude to you..until
...respectfully it seems like you were not supportive...
board politics..emails et all.....can make things nebulous
I'm still confused..by the tone of your posts...to her

maybe this observation was helpful..maybe not
I spoke up cas I felt it was not fair to the OP

 

[kayte]

OT
Dr Phil ..that charlatan
how does that work for me??
dr phil...you...do not work for me
at all...

 

[Bunny77]

Kayte, we can agree to disagree on this.

I think in general, a lot is lost in translation because people are talking through a keyboard instead of interacting in person, so I'm willing to grant the idea that this could all be one big general misunderstanding.

 

[kayte]

yeah..the posts can kind of speak for...themselves.

I hope OP reads your concession about misunderstandings
that'd be nice ETA..probly the closest to an apology she's gonna get

ETA...
back to my own relationship woes
of which are considerable

 

[cheetarah1980]

it would be fine to go alone if i were a GUY but it just doesn't work that way. the above poster is dead on. people will stare. the lonely loser who couldn't find anyone to go with... plus, this is a place that my ex-boyfriend frequents so i do not want to be caught dead there ALONE.

infact, i'd love to know, how many women out there actually go out ALONE and have a successful night out. seriously. nobody.

Actually, I do and quite often at that. I've seen your subsequent posts and I respect that going out alone isn't your thing, but it's not the tragedy you're making it out to be. I moreso told you to go alone because it was obvious you really wanted to go. I find no reason to miss out on anything that I want to do just because my friends are either unwilling or unable to go. I've gone to concerts, parties, boat rides, picnics, happy hours and more with no backup. Not only is no one looking at me worrying about why I'm rolling solo, but I always meet cool new people. In fact many men are impressed with the fact that I am comfortable going out by myself. It shows them that I can do my own thing and don't need to be babysat. I'm not saying that going places with friends means a person is codependent or anything like that. There's just a freedom in going solo.
Plus, men are more likely to strike up a conversation with a woman who's by herself rather than a group of women.

If it's not your motus operendei, fine. But if the next time you really want to go somewhere, I strongly encourage you to not let a lack of companionship stop you. You can make friends when you get there.

 

[jennboo]

that's nice but it's my decision to take it or leave it. i'm leaving it. and she was rude to say that what i continue to do will only get me the same results. that's not true. i'm doing a lot. read the thread.

i'm off to my guitar lesson. with my cute guitar teacher. HA.

I say this with all due respect, but I tend to think the bolded is very true

 

[kayte]

I say this with all due respect, but I tend to think the bolded is very true

oh yeah? erplexed
...because?

I THOUGHT SO

& btw,did you notice that you posted that right after her saying
off to my guitar lesson w/cute guitar teacher

I'm going to be blunt
I think the thread has jealousy energies..written all over it
and not support..at least not anymore...
from the moment it was posted all over the thread ..with one word
taken out of her entire post...that she was dismissive
when she was NOT...that was....an untruth...to be somewhat polite about it

the posts that put it into question were not friendly
to begin with...

and now people are taking one idea...and running with it...
to be "right" and justify that earlier unkindness to Living Doll
and their own envy

completely ignoring that....Living Doll even started a spin off thread..herself
with a poll on......going.... out.... alone....

GEEZ LOUEEZE

so my question is......
what in the world... do you...women.........want?
for her to cut her hair?

wait..don't answer that

OP..
have fun with that cute brit
and believe it or not...ladies are rooting for you
they see as I do the real deal w/this thread
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Out of respect for OP's request to stay on topic
I'm not bumping this up..but certainly would like to respond to the below addressed to me

Really? I guess I'm completely missing what you're seeing. I don't see a need for jealousy or where it would come from in this thread. The OP asked for advice, and it was given. May not have been the advice she expected or wanted, but it was given with constructive intentions. OP already created a thread about whether to go out alone or not. Let's not turn this thread into a battle ground over a singular issue.

I don't either!!..that was/is puzzling to me...

I think every woman on this forum is a Beauty..no need or time for that nonsense

OP already created a thread about whether to go out alone or not.

.
YES!!.I already pointed that out.... after reading your second post in this thread on the subject.

Cheererah...I agree with you for the most part!
.....it was fun supportive advice and a great read,btw!
until I got to two puzzling posts that were kind of jarring changing the fun tenor of the thread...then I read OP's responses

It's ironic to me ...why that passed over as okay...

but me pointing it out ..saying hey..let's check this...
so we can get back on track with supporting OP...not do the opposite
wonder why that....is seen.... battle ground or oversensitive?

when OP stood up for herself....no one validated her right to do that ...
on the contrary.....she was challenged.... and this all supported... with a lie
and that was co-signed,too
anyways... I surmised it probly had something to do w/envy..
shrug

yes...it bothered me personally..it was unfair,and I don't regret speaking up...

has nothing to do with over-sensitivity..that's just silly
it's a forum!.... conflicts arise...we deal w/it..
but I find the timing and focus and placement of that comment disturbing
and I have a new disappointment in people...

however in the interest
moving on......

I apppreciate OP'S dignifed words in her thread
let's leave it that way....shall we?

 

[cheetarah1980]

oh yeah? erplexed
...because?

I THOUGHT SO

& btw,did you notice that you posted that right after her saying
off to my guitar lesson w/cute guitar teacher

I'm going to be blunt
I think the thread has jealousy energies..written all over it
and not support..at least not anymore...
from the moment it was posted all over the thread ..with one word
taken out of her entire post...that she was dismissive
when she was NOT...that was....an untruth...to be somewhat polite about it

the posts that put it into question were not friendly
to begin with...

and now people are taking one idea...and running with it...
to be "right" and justify that earlier unkindness to Living Doll
and their own envy

completely ignoring that....Living Doll even started a spin off thread..herself
with a poll on......going.... out.... alone....

GEEZ LOUEEZE

so my question is......
what in the world... do you...women.........want?
for her to cut her hair?

wait..don't answer that

OP..
have fun with that cute brit
and believe it or not...ladies are rooting for you
they see as I do the real deal w/this thread

Really? I guess I'm completely missing what you're seeing. I don't see a need for jealousy or where it would come from in this thread. The OP asked for advice, and it was given. May not have been the advice she expected or wanted, but it was given with constructive intentions. OP already created a thread about whether to go out alone or not. Let's not turn this thread into a battle ground over a singular issue.

OP, if you're also wanting to put yourself out there try bringing people to you. Host a dinner party, potluck, game night, wine tasting or other type of get together at your house. Don't make it an all out party as it's difficult to mingle in that type of setting. Tell your friends that they have to bring at least one person you don't know (preferably a straight, single male). This will give you something fun to do while broadening your social circle.

 

[FlowerHair]

People are too sensitive in this thread.

Do what you need to do to put yourself out there and call it a day!