Pre-Nuptial Agreements

Cincysweetie said:
Is it really? So a woman whose husband up and leaves her after 20 years for a 25 year old blonde bimbo...and that same woman wants to get remarried and not spend the rest of her life alone...didn't mean her vows the first time around?

Or how about a man whose first wife died and when he marries a second time he marries someone who requests a pre-nup? I guess he didn't take the "Til death do us part" portion of the vows seriously, huh? God forbid either of you ever end up in a situation like this. I would hate for people to assume that either of you didn't take your marriage vows seriously when you didn't chase after the philandering husband or try to revive the dead spouse. :rolleyes:

The mass generalizations on this board really get to me sometimes b/c I guess at times I make assumptions about the intellect of the women on this board.

Cincy :spank: MUST :spank: STOP :spank: ASSUMING :spank: this!!! :spank:
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Struck a nerve, huh? :lachen::lachen::lachen:Naw, let me stop laughing, cuz you sound scarred. I hope things get better for ya. And I feel you on assumptions...you know what they say about those...
 
poetist said:
Struck a nerve, huh? :lachen::lachen::lachen:Naw, let me stop laughing, cuz you sound scarred. I hope things get better for ya. And I feel you on assumptions...you know what they say about those...
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There is no nerve to strike for me on this subject b/c I've personally never had to deal with anything that's been mentioned here thus far. Scarred...by what? I can't imagine what I might possibly have been scarred by in this thread??? Maybe your post was meant to be a joke? Not sure.
 
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MY SO and I have discussed this at length and yes, we are definately getting one. Other than creating a Will or Living Trust, if the ish hits the fan, we want both of our behinds covered..
 
Cincysweetie said:
I wouldn't have a problem signing one. I agree that it's like insurance. Furthermore, the divorce rate is ABOVE 60 percent and RISING. Divorce, like children, is a reality for MOST couples so why not talk about it ahead of time?? Just b/c you sign a pre-nup doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed, same as not signing one doesn't mean your relationship will work out. If you're not signing the paper b/c you think it will undermine your relationship...IMO, your relationship has BIGGER problems than that pre-nup.

And whoever said that people on their second marriage shouldn't have a problem signing one b/c it's obvious they don't mean their vows...:nono:. That's b.s. and absurd on so many levels.
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I have to agree with this one. I'm pretty sure that a large percentage of people who marry for a 2nd time are more likely to hold the 2nd marriage in a HIGHER regard than the first. They probably consider the good and bad things of the 1st marriage, and in some cases, are more equipped and better prepared to take that big step again and work harder the second time around.
 
IntoMyhair said:
Hubby wants to do a post-nuptial agreement. Which i am cool with this. He plans to start is own company with the potential to earn a lot of money. I'm talking a million plus if it goes right, which it can. He wants the agreement in case i decide to just up and walk after 15 years. That way i can't take half lol. But it will also have stipulation's for if either of us is unfaithful. Also child support who would get this house or others. We will draw up the papers with each others own attorneys.

Now if he cheats i get half of everything. If i cheat i would get nothing just child support and a house.
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I could never... what a slap in the face! Let my husand stand on MY shoulders while he builds his empire, but if we split I get nothing? GTFOOHWTBS...
 
Pre-nups seem to weaken the point of marriage. You can't compare your marriage to others, yes the divorce rate is high because people don't include God in anything until it gets bad and are unequally yoked. And let's face it, many people get married for the wrong reasons or because it seems like the right thing to do at the time granted the current circumstances (without prayerfully and thoughtfully thinking it out)s o that's why the rate is high too. If you need to sign a pre-nup you should rethink the whole marriage....*go ahead and throw stones, I know some will get offended*
 
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Browndilocks said:
I have to agree with this one. I'm pretty sure that a large percentage of people who marry for a 2nd time are more likely to hold the 2nd marriage in a HIGHER regard than the first. They probably consider the good and bad things of the 1st marriage, and in some cases, are more equipped and better prepared to take that big step again and work harder the second time around.
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Actually, the stats for divorce of second, third, etc marriages is higher than first timers.

http://marriage.families.com/blog/marriage-after-divorce
http://www.aboutdivorce.org/us_divorce_rates.html
http://www.smartmarriages.com/remarrying.html

Is the divorce rate different for second marriages?
In a 2001 report, the CDC stated that 1/5 of first marriages end within five years; 1/3 within ten years. Facts about the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher. The CDC found "a strong probability that second marriages will end in separation or divorce: 23 percent after five years and 39 percent after ten years.”
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tuff question---ye si understand what ppl say your goin in with pre-con notions
but im leaning towards signing one--i have alotta assets now at 25 so lord knows what will happen once i get married--and if ish hits the fan wanna go outwith what i came in with - at bare min

im sure my future hubby will have more assets than me---pre-nups can have stipulations written into them---so it doesn nec have to be what ppl think it will be--i just dont want any man having what i worked damn hard for---i gotta protect my ish---and love has nothing to do with planning for my future---i love myself first
 
I would if I was part of a business that had been in my side of the family for generations and wanted it to remain in my side of the family.

IMO everything else we acquire in marriage is a joint effort.
 
At first I was completely against them, but now I don't know. I gotta discuss it with my hubby first and see what he's working with... lol... maybe I'll love him enough to let that slide cuz right now I feel pretty selfish lol.
 
I think, these days as people get older before they marry for the first time (in their 30's or later) pre-nups make more sense. The assumption is that you have acquired assets and established a life as a single person that belongs to you and both people should be able to secure their possessions.
NOW... I don't believe is post nups... IMO anything that happens after you are married (ie. lottery, company establishment) could not be possible without the support or involvement of the other spouse and both people are entitled to half. If one partner starts a lucrative endeavour, there is no way they could achieve all of that without the support of the other spouse (raising their children, keeping their house while they work long hours etc.) What makes one person's duties more important (or worth more than the others)?
 
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pinayprincess said:
Ladies,

What are your thoughts on prenuptial agreements? Did you sign one? Do you want to? Is it good for a marraige? What does it say about the relationship if your significant other suggests you sign one? Can you have a healthy relationship with the agreement not hanging over your head?
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Honestly I dont' see the big dea. I would peresonally ask for one to protect myself against any financially irresponsible behavior that occurs during the marriage.

I believe that as long as its fair its ok. I dont think you should have access to welath that was acrued before the marriage.

When people think prenup they automatically think about that person with money not trusting them. But its not ALWAYS about money. People who make average income but have valuable assets (like a home or business) do it. Again as long as its fair expescially in cases where one spouse puts their career on hold to be a stay at home mother or father.

I'm not a very romantic fairy tale cinderella love story kind of girland always think of the worst case scenario that could happen. I don't see anythign wrong with that because alot of people end up wishing they had when they end up drowning in debt b/c of their partner's spending habits. I don't want to assume any debt that he incurs during the marriage or have to split assets with him that I had before I married him. I just think with the divorce rate and the fact that sometimes people do change after marriage that you have to protect yourself. I'm not losing half of everything that I worked my life for before I met you if you decide to cheat or end the marriage.
 
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That's why I'm glad I married at the age to which we can work on acquiring things together.

I wouldn't get married if I needed a prenup. Where's the "us" and "ours" mentality when you start claiming "me" and "mine" before the marriage even starts?
 
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