Poll: Do you want him or yourself to wear the "PANTS" in a relationship?

Who you rather wear the pants?

  • Yourself

    Votes: 2 1.9%

  • Him

    Votes: 69 63.9%

  • Both, balanced

    Votes: 37 34.3%

  • Unsure

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    108
  • Poll closed .
T

theLovelyStyle

Well-Known Member
Would you rather be in a relationship where YOU wear the "pants" or do you prefer him to wear the "pants"?

Or maybe a little in between?
 
I'm mobile so I can't see the poll. In the beginning of my relationship I struggled to be the boss. I wanted to wear the pants. I thought not wearing the pants meant that he would control me. When I got past that and let him wear the pants I released so much unnecessary stress. I submit and let him handle it. I love it!!!
 
I like being put in my place :look:

And it's def needed sometimes...i'm the type to command. Not follow orders.

However, I have learned and mastered the art of stroking the ego and letting a man be a man.
 
Um no. I have firm beliefs in being submissive. The day I need to wear the pants in a relationship is the day I stop being in that relationship all together.
 
I'm not sure. It's easier to let someone else be in charge. But then again, I want my own way sometimes. How does that work? I wish, like, he could be the captain in some areas and then I am in others, depending on what are our strong suits.
 
I've never understood the either/or or even framing the question this way. I think every couple works out what works for them and the person who's "running the show" and what that looks like varies based on the issue at hand and even what else is going on in the relationship.
 
I don't understand how one person is in charge of making the final decision ALL of the time for each and every situation, regardless of the subject at hand. I don't even understand what that means and how that's possible. I have absolutely no interest in being with a man who thinks like that, whatsoever.

Like if a man were to actually say those words to me on a date: "I like to wear the pants in the relationship because I'm the man" and was serious? OMG I would bust out laughing, throw some money on the table, and leave :lol:

But that's just me :look:

ETA: Curlybeauty yo nailz!! :love: I am sooo copying that! :lol:
 
qchelle said:
I don't understand how one person is in charge of making the final decision ALL of the time for each and every situation, regardless of the subject at hand. I don't even understand what that means and how that's possible. I have absolutely no interest in being with a man who thinks like that, whatsoever.

Like if a man were to actually say those words to me on a date: "I like to wear the pants in the relationship because I'm the man" and was serious? OMG I would bust out laughing, throw some money on the table, and leave :lol:

But that's just me :look:
Click to expand...

You're not alone.:yep: I feel much the same way. In fact I've never seen a relationship like that so the whole idea is strange to me. My parents have been married close to 30 years and he takes the lead on some issues and on others my mom's in charge based on each other's strengths and weaknesses. I don't want to be in charge all the time but relinquishing all control because he's the man doesn't sit right with me.
 
cheryl26 said:
I prefer 75/25 but he must ask me about anything pertaining to his 75%:lol:
Click to expand...

Haha this I agree with :lol:. I'm more of a go with the flow laid-back type, and I like for him to be in control and know what is going on. If what he says sounds agreeable then it's all good and I'll let him "be the man", but my word will be the last one- verbal or not ;).
 
ceecee08 said:
Him..... I only want a man who leads his family.
Click to expand...

Yeah, given that I'd rather stay single than marry a man who I believe could not lead his family, I'd have to say him. That's how it is in my culture also so maybe I've been brainwashed :lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
qchelle said:
I don't understand how one person is in charge of making the final decision ALL of the time for each and every situation, regardless of the subject at hand. I don't even understand what that means and how that's possible. I have absolutely no interest in being with a man who thinks like that, whatsoever.

Like if a man were to actually say those words to me on a date: "I like to wear the pants in the relationship because I'm the man" and was serious? OMG I would bust out laughing, throw some money on the table, and leave :lol:

But that's just me :look:

ETA: @Curlybeauty yo nailz!! :love: I am sooo copying that! :lol:
Click to expand...

It can definitely be a problem if you marry a controlling man. Leading and controlling are different to me.
 
He is the head..... but i am the neck that controls the head....

lol.
seriously, i think that in the relationship, our strengths and weaknesses should determine what we lead... (i'm a little bossy, and i know this, so there are certain things that i will have to have input on... or just do it myself...)
but i think the key is being very open to compromise, and putting yourself in your mate's shoes....
(how would he feel if i did, or said this...)
I do however, like letting a man be a man....

just my take...
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
You're not alone.:yep: I feel much the same way. In fact I've never seen a relationship like that so the whole idea is strange to me. My parents have been married close to 30 years and he takes the lead on some issues and on others my mom's in charge based on each other's strengths and weaknesses. I don't want to be in charge all the time but relinquishing all control because he's the man doesn't sit right with me.
Click to expand...

Same here. I get my views from my parents too...who've been married for 22 years. It's worked for them, it's worked for me so far, it's what I know and prefer, and I'm not interested in learning otherwise :lol:

But I understand everyone is different concerning this. And I don't think any particular way is the 'right' way. Whatever works.
 
I am ridiculously indecisive so I need a man who won't hesitate to take over in that regard. And I'm accustomed to being the more submissive one in general. That said, there are boundaries. For example, my last boyfriend would actually try to tell me when to go to bed. Didn't matter if I was on the phone or reading or watching TV, if he was sleepy, it was bedtime for me, too. That sort of controlling behavior doesn't fly with me. I like for the man to take the lead, but understand that I am an adult capable of making my own decisions and disagreeing with him.
 
I'd rather him wear the "pants", but that doesn't mean a dictatorship. I want him to take the lead. If his leading means letting me lead sometimes with my areas of strength, then that's what I'm looking for, not a man who makes 100% of the decisions 100% of the time :nono: that won't work...

Sent from my Droid Incredible
 
Oh, and I don't like the phrase 'wear the pants'. Are skirts irrelevant? :cry3:

:lol: jk

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
 
I like the alpha male.

However, I feel balance is necessary. When I think of the term "wear the pants" it feels a lil dictator-ish to me.

So, while I love an alpha male, masculine manly man, I like there to be compromise and balance to decision making on the important stuff.
 
Whimsy said:
I like the alpha male.

However, I feel balance is necessary. When I think of the term "wear the pants" it feels a lil dictator-ish to me.

So, while I love an alpha male, masculine manly man, I like there to be compromise and balance to decision making on the important stuff.
Click to expand...

:yep: I agree with all of this.

I've never cared for that phrase.
 
I would say both. There are things he needs to handle and things I need to have the final say on.
 
I'm a bit traditional in that I like the man to be the head of the household. He should wear the pants, but not be controlling. He has to be the type that respects & seeks my opinion.

I know myself. I'm tough in the workplace, but a softie in my personal life. I can already tell that I will be an "ask your father" & "wait until your father gets home!" type of parent. Cheers to the good cop! LOL :lol:

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
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