Police: Online Daters Remove Info About Kids From Your Profile

yardyspice

Well-Known Member
Police issue warning to single mothers seeking love on the net - don't tell suitors about your children


POLICE have warned single mothers about the dangers of internet dating after the arrest of a man who allegedly travelled to Brisbane to have sex with an underage girl.



A 55-year-old man from Campbell in the ACT appeared in custody in the Brisbane Magistrates Court on Thursday, charged with using the internet to procure a child under 16 to engage in a sex act.
The arrest was part of a sting operation that began in September, with police posing in an internet chatroom as the mother of a 13-year-old girl, "Bree".
Police swooped on the man at an address in Taringa, in Brisbane's west, on Wednesday night.
Bail was not opposed today and the case was adjourned until November 26.
Outside court, Inspector John Rouse from the State Crime Operations Command's Task Force Argos said there was a disturbing trend emerging for pedophiles to target single mothers as a way of gaining access to their children.

"We had two cases that I was aware of late last year where ... a child sex offender had groomed a mum from an online dating site then gone onto the process of committing an offence against her child," he said.
"Unfortunately there is, with the internet, a dark side and these guys are using that as a portal to try and find victims.
He urged single mothers to limit the amount of personal information they put on the internet.
"If you're going to utilise internet dating websites for example, make it about you," he said.
"Don't put information on your profile page saying 'I am a single mother with three beautiful children that are my world' because effectively that's what they're looking for.
"You don't know how any image or piece of information you put on the internet is going to be used.
"Tragically, a lot of these people are now grooming single mums with children and it's not, unfortunately, for the legitimate purpose of finding a new relationship with the mother."


Link
 
This is from an Australian site but I think the advice pertains to everybody.

"Don't put information on your profile page saying 'I am a single mother with three beautiful children that are my world' because effectively that's what they're looking for.
 
I've been saying this for awhile. Some men are thrilled you have children because that is exactly what they want. It's disgusting and horrible but women must face this possibility because predators are out there, are evil, vile, and pretend to want you you when they really want your children. I honestly think that most men don't ideally want women with children, so when a man is happy about it women get excited and think they've found a really special and unique guy, but there are other possibilities as well.
 
Yes, it's true! Though, I've experienced this meeting a guy in RL as well. He was definately a child rapist from things he said on the second date. So we have to be careful ALL around.
 
DarkJoy

Do you mind sharing what exactly he said or did that made you to determine that. This should help out some single mothers...
 
Oh hell, I'm sorry! lol I will find the old post (posted about it before) and repost here. I didn't realize ya'll wanted deets!

Actually, there were 2 potential molesters. The other I met from online.

ETA:

Online Potential Molester 1:


I talked to him a whole year before I let them meet. We had gone out a few times. The 2nd time he made us dinner at my house. When it was her bedtime I told him I would bathe her and put her to bed. He said "Oh no! I'll just take a shower and bring her with me!" As if he was doing me (and his sick-a**) a great favor.

He was absolutely stunned, jaw hit the floor, when I grabbed my DD, held her behind me and told him to GTFO my GD house. He was lucky we weren't near the kitchen with all the sharp implements! I was so enraged I literally couldn't see straight.

Goes to show you, some of these sick MFers can slip under the radar...

3 months after, he emailed me ecstatic that he met a mother with a 9 yo GORGEOUS daughter. :nono: Seems to be his MO to meet women with young daughters.

Potential Molester 2 (Guy IMMEDIATELY after #1!)
He approached me when I was at a restaurant with my friends (no kids there).

1st date: A picnic with a red flag. He said he would love to meet my daughter and take us all out sometime. Even the other guy hadn't brought up my daughter much until it was time to meet her.

2nd date: We were at an anti-rape rally of all things (HIS idea). After the rally he goes on about how a molester should be forgiven. And then went into a VERY specific scenario that happened to his 'friend' while he was overnight visiting a distant cousin's family. 'The guy' 'accidentally' walked in on the 12yo daughter in the shower. And found himself IN the shower with the child and 'made love to her'. He explained how that is not a crime and 'he' should be forgiven and not made to do time. And, no, it doesn't ruin the child's life. Basically, they like it.

That was obviously our last date.

My Observations

  • Both white males (race doesnt make a diff, just stating the facts)
  • Both age 50
  • Both never been married or LTR longer than 5 years
  • Both childless
  • Both beaten by their fathers, they never expressed sexual abuse (#2 I didn't know long enough for him to reveal such secrets)
  • Different socio-eco and culturally different. Potential Molester #1 was from Europe and quite rich. PM#2 was self-employed (but working class blue collar) American neo-hippie type
  • Both dated me---a survivor of extreme and ritualized (so said the shrinks) of childhood sexual abuse
I really caution those with histories similar to mine to be EXTRA careful--we seem to be magnets, though that is not the ONLY factor in what attracts these freaks. Happens to 'regular' single moms too.



Major Red Flags


In my dating pool (40s-50s) from the above list, the highest red flags for me now are never a LTR, no kids, never married. In that age group there is something seriously wrong with a man who cant hold a relationship longer than a cpl years anyway. Obviously, too much or too little interest in my daughter is too. I know many of us (depending on age group) look for childless men--but I find no kids at 50 weird.



These flags go far above and beyond other criteria (jobs, cars, cash).


I will stay single until she is grown if I have to to ensure her safety and sanity. Don't want her growing up with the s--t I did :nono:. Not worth it.
 
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^^
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I like to tell people upfront @yardyspice when I meet them in person. Meaning that there was no prior online contact.

The potential #1, I didn't meet on a dating site--I wasnt even dating at the time. It was an online chat I used to pass the time There was never a profile in the first place. #1, from what he told me (hindsight and all that), he seemed to target women with a single daughter coming out of a major relationship, which I was at the time. So he worked on the vulnerable ones.

IDK what to do about the child thing in online dating sites--I'd rather instantly weed out men that don't want women with children. It kind of puts you in a crappy position either way. You put it in and might attract a pervert. You leave it out and waste vaulable time and get disappointed by someone you might be interested in.

From my history, I'm pretty good at weeding out sexual predators. I really think each mother has to decide how she wants to handle that.
 
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Oh hell, I'm sorry! lol I will find the old post (posted about it before) and repost here. I didn't realize ya'll wanted deets!

Actually, there were 2 potential molesters. The other I met from online.

ETA:

Online Potential Molester 1:

I talked to him a whole year before I let them meet. We had gone out a few times. The 2nd time he made us dinner at my house. When it was her bedtime I told him I would bathe her and put her to bed. He said "Oh no! I'll just take a shower and bring her with me!" As if he was doing me (and his sick-a**) a great favor.

He was absolutely stunned, jaw hit the floor, when I grabbed my DD, held her behind me and told him to GTFO my GD house. He was lucky we weren't near the kitchen with all the sharp implements! I was so enraged I literally couldn't see straight.

Goes to show you, some of these sick MFers can slip under the radar...

3 months after, he emailed me ecstatic that he met a mother with a 9 yo GORGEOUS daughter. :nono: Seems to be his MO to meet women with young daughters.

Potential Molester 2 (Guy IMMEDIATELY after #1!)
He approached me when I was at a restaurant with my friends (no kids there).

1st date: A picnic with a red flag. He said he would love to meet my daughter and take us all out sometime. Even the other guy hadn't brought up my daughter much until it was time to meet her.

2nd date: We were at an anti-rape rally of all things (HIS idea). After the rally he goes on about how a molester should be forgiven. And then went into a VERY specific scenario that happened to his 'friend' while he was overnight visiting a distant cousin's family. 'The guy' 'accidentally' walked in on the 12yo daughter in the shower. And found himself IN the shower with the child and 'made love to her'. He explained how that is not a crime and 'he' should be forgiven and not made to do time. And, no, it doesn't ruin the child's life. Basically, they like it.

That was obviously our last date.

My Observations

  • Both white males (race doesnt make a diff, just stating the facts)
  • Both age 50
  • Both never been married or LTR longer than 5 years
  • Both childless
  • Both beaten by their fathers, they never expressed sexual abuse (#2 I didn't know long enough for him to reveal such secrets)
  • Different socio-eco and culturally different. Potential Molester #1 was from Europe and quite rich. PM#2 was self-employed (but working class blue collar) American neo-hippie type
  • Both dated me---a survivor of extreme and ritualized (so said the shrinks) of childhood sexual abuse
I really caution those with histories similar to mine to be EXTRA careful--we seem to be magnets, though that is not the ONLY factor in what attracts these freaks. Happens to 'regular' single moms too.



Major Red Flags


In my dating pool (40s-50s) from the above list, the highest red flags for me now are never a LTR, no kids, never married. In that age group there is something seriously wrong with a man who cant hold a relationship longer than a cpl years anyway. Obviously, too much or too little interest in my daughter is too. I know many of us (depending on age group) look for childless men--but I find no kids at 50 weird.



These flags go far above and beyond other criteria (jobs, cars, cash).


I will stay single until she is grown if I have to to ensure her safety and sanity. Don't want her growing up with the s--t I did :nono:. Not worth it.


Thank you for coming back to share this...I'm sure it will help a lot of single mothers.
 
DarkJoy
Thank you for sharing those details, very enlightening. There are worse things than loneliness and allowing a predator into your child's life is one of them. I applaud your diligence.
 
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