Please Help This Natural

[snookes]

Why is when I moisturise my hair it shrinks up and tangles really bad??

I've gone to now keeping my hair moisture free as much as possible ie using no products or pea size oil based product.

Does anyone's hair do the same and how do you cope with the tangles and shrinkage? Also I have to keep my hair in a stretched state else it tangles like the dickins which it hard because it is only 4 inch long on the sides, bang and crown areas but between 6-8" in the back (yep I have that mullet thing going on ) because my hair consistently breaks where it tangles & shrinks (ie sides, crown & bang) and is the most coily there whereas the back is more curly.

I am at my wits ends. I've been trying to grow my hair now from doing the big chop from 3 years ago

 

[SAPNK]

If your hair is anything like mine, then you can't moisturize your hair when it's "out." If your wearing it stretched, like in a twist out, don't get it wet. If you want to moisturize it, you need to be in a protective style, like twists, braids, updo. Something where your strands won't move when wet.

 

[snookes]

If your hair is anything like mine, then you can't moisturize your hair when it's "out." If your wearing it stretched, like in a twist out, don't get it wet. If you want to moisturize it, you need to be in a protective style, like twists, braids, updo. Something where your strands won't move when wet.

@SAPNK How do you moisturise in twists SAPNK?? Just moisturize the ends you mean?

 

[discodumpling]

6-8" hair DEMANDS sectioning when moisturizing. Otherwise you will have tangles. Section into 4 then break each section down to moisturize. Your moisturizing routine is also tied to your chosen style. A person like myself who wears wash n goes 99.99% of the time will have a different moisturizing routine than a person who wears twists, braids, straight hair, wigs, weaves etc. How are you wearing your hair currently?

 

[ms.blue]

It could be the brand of moisturizers you're using. Giovanni direct leave in would tangle my hair horribly. Avoiding moisturizing your hair will cause dryness and breakage. I suggest finding a moisturizer that will work for your hair instead of avoiding moisturizing altogether.

 

[Evolving78]

6-8" hair DEMANDS sectioning when moisturizing. Otherwise you will have tangles. Section into 4 then break each section down to moisturize. Your moisturizing routine is also tied to your chosen style. A person like myself who wears wash n goes 99.99% of the time will have a different moisturizing routine than a person who wears twists, braids, straight hair, wigs, weaves etc. How are you wearing your hair currently?

Yep! You have to work in sections. My natural hair will coil up and shrink so fast. Wearing a wash and go, i work with wet hair and have to use gel to stretch more.

 

[Evolving78]

It could be the brand of moisturizers you're using. Giovanni direct leave in would tangle my hair horribly. Avoiding moisturizing your hair will cause dryness and breakage. I suggest finding a moisturizer that will work for your hair instead of avoiding moisturizing altogether.

I couldn't use glycerin.

 

[Napp]

Interesting. I don't moisturize my hair I just co wash regularly instead. Although my hair isn't down to my butt after being here so long so maybe I'm doing something wrong.

 

[LdyKamz]

Interesting. I don't moisturize my hair I just co wash regularly instead. Although my hair isn't down to my butt after being here so long so maybe I'm doing something wrong.

I noticed when I cowashed daily I didn't need to moisturize as often either. I didn't find staple moisturizers until I started to styles hair. After a certain length wash and go's are a no for me so I needed to style and couldn't cowash as often.

 

[snookes]

I

Yep! You have to work in sections. My natural hair will coil up and shrink so fast. Wearing a wash and go, i work with wet hair and have to use gel to stretch more.

I can't wear a wash and go my hair would tangle terrible. I do braidouts everyday I have too braid hair every night else it tangles. Even in braidouts it tangles bad after a few hours

 

[snookes]

Yep! You have to work in sections. My natural hair will coil up and shrink so fast. Wearing a wash and go, i work with wet hair and have to use gel to stretch more.

Wash and go's are a no go for me. My hair even tangles when I do braidouts I can't seem to win

 

[snookes]

It could be the brand of moisturizers you're using. Giovanni direct leave in would tangle my hair horribly. Avoiding moisturizing your hair will cause dryness and breakage. I suggest finding a moisturizer that will work for your hair instead of avoiding moisturizing altogether.

I have tried so many moisturizers I give up non has made the tangles lessen, if I use lots of product or little my hair still tangles, I don't even know what this slip people talk about is... I am currently using Jane Carter's nourish and shine its been the best thing so far for my tangles & shrinkage

 

[snookes]

6-8" hair DEMANDS sectioning when moisturizing. Otherwise you will have tangles. Section into 4 then break each section down to moisturize. Your moisturizing routine is also tied to your chosen style. A person like myself who wears wash n goes 99.99% of the time will have a different moisturizing routine than a person who wears twists, braids, straight hair, wigs, weaves etc. How are you wearing your hair currently?

I wear braidouts everyday. No way can I sleep with loose hair. My hair even tangles in braidouts after a few hours

 

[snookes]

Interesting. I don't moisturize my hair I just co wash regularly instead. Although my hair isn't down to my butt after being here so long so maybe I'm doing something wrong.

I hear you although I don't co wash (my hair tangles when wet) I deep condition my hair twice a month

 

[Sharpened]

Question: Are you expecting your hair to stay tangle-free, as in being able to run your fingers through your hair at any time, or being able to dry comb?

 

[discodumpling]

Hair that is optimally conditioned does not need to be moisturized daily. So start with your wash & condition routine and revamp from there using sectioning. Notice i'm not even suggesting purchasing new products without understanding what you have and how you're using what you have. Technique trumps product usage sometimes. At the very least your hair needs a leavein conditioner. Whatever else you add depends on what your end goal is...I believe that's more moisture so you might need an oil or butter and some type of styler (like gel) to form & define your braid out pattern.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I have to keep my hair stretched also. Are your braid outs completely dry when you take them out? I don't have trouble with tangles if I let my hair dry in braids. I can usually go at least a few days without redoing the braids.

 

[caligirl]

I wear braidouts. I moisturize by lightly spritzing a small section with water then applying a good amount of cocount oil and maybe leave in conditioner to the ends then braid it up. This really helps stretch my hair and keep the knots down

 

[SAPNK]

@SAPNK How do you moisturise in twists SAPNK?? Just moisturize the ends you mean?

You can moisturize all of your hair. But your ends are the most important, so if you are doing twists with just your hair, and don't want much shrinkage, only focus on the very ends. You should look into the LCO and LOC methods.
My hair is in marley twists so I just spritz on whatever liquid I'm using, then pat on the cream, and smooth in the oil.

 

[snookes]

Question: Are you expecting your hair to stay tangle-free, as in being able to run your fingers through your hair at any time, or being able to dry comb?

@Sharpened Erm not really but I am expecting it to be less tangled after I have moisturized or applied oil or lightly misting even. I would say my bang area is the worst for tangling compared to the sides & crown.

 

[snookes]

I wear braidouts. I moisturize by lightly spritzing a small section with water then applying a good amount of cocount oil and maybe leave in conditioner to the ends then braid it up. This really helps stretch my hair and keep the knots down

@caligirl do you braid your hair every night to prevent tangles too?

 

[snookes]

You can moisturize all of your hair. But your ends are the most important, so if you are doing twists with just your hair, and don't want much shrinkage, only focus on the very ends. You should look into the LCO and LOC methods.
My hair is in marley twists so I just spritz on whatever liquid I'm using, then pat on the cream, and smooth in the oil.

@SAPNK I have tried the LOC & the LCO method with the same results, tangles. The drier my hair is the less tangles I get tbh

 

[snookes]

Hair that is optimally conditioned does not need to be moisturized daily. So start with your wash & condition routine and revamp from there using sectioning. Notice i'm not even suggesting purchasing new products without understanding what you have and how you're using what you have. Technique trumps product usage sometimes. At the very least your hair needs a leavein conditioner. Whatever else you add depends on what your end goal is...I believe that's more moisture so you might need an oil or butter and some type of styler (like gel) to form & define your braid out pattern.

@discodumpling thank you for your reply my end goal really is to just prevent these tangles in my bang area & grow my hair. It is my shortest most troublesome part & is only 4 inches long and has been for over 3 years now since I bc'ed. I deep condition twice a month, tried the LOC and LCO method, using more product, using less product, mini pinappling, braiding. AO products, Giovanni, homemade whipped shea butter mix, detangling sprays, seamless comb, no heat, trimming, scalp massaging, oiling scalp not oiling scalp, co washing, clarifying, silicone free shampoo, protein, hair gels, henna, ACV, AVJ, deironised water, vitamins, combing not combing, combing sopping wet, combing when damp, combing with leavein/oil. Much of the suggested practices mentioned on natural hair forums... All over a span of over 3 odd years. I give up I really feel doomed

 

[PJaye]

@discodumpling thank you for your reply my end goal really is to just prevent these tangles in my bang area & grow my hair. It is my shortest most troublesome part & is only 4 inches long and has been for over 3 years now since I bc'ed. I deep condition twice a month, tried the LOC and LCO method, using more product, using less product, mini pinappling, braiding. AO products, Giovanni, homemade whipped shea butter mix, detangling sprays, seamless comb, no heat, trimming, scalp massaging, oiling scalp not oiling scalp, co washing, clarifying, silicone free shampoo, protein, hair gels, henna, ACV, AVJ, deironised water, vitamins, combing not combing, combing sopping wet, combing when damp, combing with leavein/oil. Much of the suggested practices mentioned on natural hair forums... All over a span of over 3 odd years. I give up I really feel doomed

I agree with @discodumpling in that the wash-DC routine should be the foundation of it all and the main source of all moisture. If the DC is on point, there's no need to moisturize daily/often. I understand your despair, but don't give up. It seems as if you've tried many techniques and products to address the issue, which is good. However, may I suggest that you begin again by examining all of your techniques and products' ingredient lists in order to pinpoint the things that your hair likes and dislikes. This may seem like a tedious task, but I promise that the information gleaned will prove beneficial. Let's start with your hair's base characteristics and go from there, e.g., porosity level, thickness/thinness, density, curl pattern, etc. Next, let's look at the products that you use to wash, DC and moisturize with. What are they? What are their ingredient lists? How do they behave on your hair? How does your hair behave after sbort-term and long-term usage? What are the methods/techniques that produced the best outcomes on your hair? What does your hair look and feel like after cleansing and DCing? What does it look and feel like bare without any product on it? Let's get the answers to these questions and go forward step-by-step. I promise I won't leave you hanging; we'll figure this thing out one way or another. Deal?

 

[Dee-Licious]

Maybe you need a trim. I'm a 4C who needs to keep her hair as least semi stretched to prevent tangles. I notice more tangling when I'm in need of a trim.

 

[discodumpling]

@discodumpling thank you for your reply my end goal really is to just prevent these tangles in my bang area & grow my hair. It is my shortest most troublesome part & is only 4 inches long and has been for over 3 years now since I bc'ed. I deep condition twice a month, tried the LOC and LCO method, using more product, using less product, mini pinappling, braiding. AO products, Giovanni, homemade whipped shea butter mix, detangling sprays, seamless comb, no heat, trimming, scalp massaging, oiling scalp not oiling scalp, co washing, clarifying, silicone free shampoo, protein, hair gels, henna, ACV, AVJ, deironised water, vitamins, combing not combing, combing sopping wet, combing when damp, combing with leavein/oil. Much of the suggested practices mentioned on natural hair forums... All over a span of over 3 odd years. I give up I really feel doomed

Consistency is also a big part of it too Sis. Create a simple regimen and stick with it through a season. Have patience and be confident that you are doing what you need to do to move YOUR hair forward. Start with a good trim for fresh ends and go from there. Look to youtube and search braid outs and see how those folks maintain multi-day hair. Pay extra special attention to your tangled bang area when DCing & adding product.

Good Luck on your journey! Don't give up, it takes a while to figure out what your hair needs & likes.

 

[Sharpened]

@snookes do you wear hats or headbands often? Do you sleep partly face-down with your hair uncovered?

 

[snookes]

I have to keep my hair stretched also. Are your braid outs completely dry when you take them out? I don't have trouble with tangles if I let my hair dry in braids. I can usually go at least a few days without redoing the braids.

@FoxxyLocs yes my braids are completely dry when I take them out, in fact I wait until my hair is dry before I start to braid

 

[snookes]

@snookes do you wear hats or headbands often? Do you sleep partly face-down with your hair uncovered?

@Sharpened no hats, very rarely headbands unless my hair is in a bun because my bang is too short to go into it. To the last question I do start of sleeping on my front but my head is resting on my arms. I sleep on a satin pillowcase

 

[snookes]

Consistency is also a big part of it too Sis. Create a simple regimen and stick with it through a season. Have patience and be confident that you are doing what you need to do to move YOUR hair forward. Start with a good trim for fresh ends and go from there. Look to youtube and search braid outs and see how those folks maintain multi-day hair. Pay extra special attention to your tangled bang area when DCing & adding product.

Good Luck on your journey! Don't give up, it takes a while to figure out what your hair needs & likes.

@discodumpling Thank you. Yes I am going to keep it simple & remain consistent. Thanks again for your suggestions I will do that