Please Help Me - Natural Problems

CenteredGirl

CenteredGirl

Well-Known Member
Hi ladies,

I have been on this board for several years. I have tried everything to grow my natural hair (4CXZZZZ). I just cannot do it. It is about should length now (used to be longer but has broken off). It tangles no matter how much I condition it. I comb it with a wide tooth comb (smooth). It breaks off. Trust me, I have tried everything that has been suggested by you natural ladies on this board for years = big fat 0.

So, I have been seriously considering a texturizer. From my experience back in the day, no lye was too rough. So, I'm thinking one or 2 tablespoons of a lye relaxer combined with 8 ounces conditioner/olive oil.

I plan to leave on for about 15 minutes then wash out. I need a BREAK. So please, please help me.

Thanks.
 
What is type 4CXZZZZ? I swear, I will never get this hair typing thing right...
Have you tried finger detangling combined with the "praying hands method"? It's the only way that I could detangle my hair without it breaking. Wide tooth combs did not work for me either; my hair is very coily, and the coils get snagged in the teeth of every styling tool. After I finger detangle a very small section, I clasp my hands around the section as if I'm praying and slide my hands down, catching all of the week's shed hairs in the process. Before I added the "praying hands method" to my detangling routine, my hair matted easily due to all the left over shed hairs and it was a nightmare to detangle.

ETA:
Also, I think you should find the root of the retention issue before you texturize. Your post reminds me of Glamfun from Youtube, who relaxed due to a number of issues (retention being one of them). The relaxer only helped the first time around, but then her original problems resurfaced a few months later.
I feel for you OP, I hope you find a solution soon.
 
Last edited:
overtherainbow said:
What is type 4CXZZZZ? I swear, I will never get this hair typing thing right...
Have you tried finger detangling combined with the "praying hands method"? YES It's the only way that I could detangle my hair without it breaking. Wide tooth combs did not work for me either; my hair is very coily, and the coils get snagged in the teeth of every styling tool. After I finger detangle a very small section, I clasp my hands around the section as if I'm praying and slide my hands down, catching all of the week's shed hairs in the process. Before I added the "praying hands method" to my detangling routine, my hair matted easily due to all the left over shed hairs and it was a nightmare to detangle. My hair breaks when I look at it.

ETA:
Also, I think you should find the root of the retention issue before you texturize. Your post reminds me of Glamfun from Youtube, who relaxed due to a number of issues (retention being one of them). The relaxer only helped the first time around, but then her original problems resurfaced a few months later.
I feel for you OP, I hope you find a solution soon.
Click to expand...
Thanks girl!:grin:
 
I would suggest deep conditioning more often than twice a month.

Quit shampoo if you use it. Or use it once a month and switch to a cleansing co wash like As I Am Coconut Co wash.

Moisturize and seal daily.

Try hot oil applied the hair before detangling. Then steam the oil in as a prepoo before u cleanse.

I would also suggest going to YouTube and finding someone with a hair type close to how you define yours.... Find someone who has been on for 3-5 years so u can see their journey and see how it worked out over time. I learn something helpful all the time and I swear I know everything. Lol ;)

Tip--- Don't watch newbies. They don't have it down enough yet with proof...

case and point. I saw a new natural on there who applied shampoo to dry hair and scalp and then put conditioner on top??? Wth?! I would love to see her hair in two years after letting detergent sit on her strands while she "conditions".....
 
CenteredGirl said:
Reggie:
Wash hair in 4 sections every 2 weeks
Deep condition every 2 weeks
Air dry


Products
No silicones
No sulfates
No petroleum

Style
Twists
Mostly protective styles
Click to expand...

What do you detangle your hair with?

When was the last time you straightened your hair?

When was the last time you dusted/trimmed and did a protein treatment?

As a previous poster said you need to figure out what is causing your breakage before you texturize.

It sounds like you have splits that are traveling up your strands. Not sure what the cause of it is though.

You sound like you need to be on a regular dusting protein regimen to get your split ends under control.
 
Keep. Your. Hair. Stretched. Tight kinks and curls were not meant to be free. Our hair literally velcrows on itself and until you figure out a way to keep it stretched it will keep breaking no matter what shampoo/conditioner you use. I get a dominican blowout every 3 months. In between the blowouts I wear celie braids under a wig. I cowash once a month in the braids. I unravel them one at a time to detangle (remove shed hairs) and then I add leave in and braid it back. If you are afraid of heat there are other ways to stretch the hair. This is what works for my 4bcdefg...lmnop hair
 
I also have type 4czzzzz hair... You know, the tough nigerian hair that lil Wayne was talking about. I've grown my hair from shoulder length to a very thick bra strap length in 2 yrs( the longest my hair has ever been ). The key to length retention is low manipulation and protective styling. I finger detangle wet hair ( I don't remember the last time I used a comb ...there r lots of YouTube videos on finger de tangling), I deep condition using Aussie 3 minute miracle with every wash (approximately every 2 weeks), I wear braids frequently ( remember to wash ur hair while in braids or weaves). I essentially just keep it simple. Your hair is growing, that much I promise you! The key is learning to prevent breakage and tangling.
 
Prettymetty said:
Keep. Your. Hair. Stretched. Tight kinks and curls were not meant to be free. Our hair literally velcrows on itself and until you figure out a way to keep it stretched it will keep breaking no matter what shampoo/conditioner you use. I get a dominican blowout every 3 months. In between the blowouts I wear celie braids under a wig. I cowash once a month in the braids. I unravel them one at a time to detangle (remove shed hairs) and then I add leave in and braid it back. If you are afraid of heat there are other ways to stretch the hair. This is what works for my 4bcdefg...lmnop hair
Click to expand...

hmmm, I'm going to try that -- I really like the concept of divide and conquer. Thanks Prettymetty!:grin:
 
More Deep conditions..more moisture :) That's the only thing I think can help. Even if you need to start baggying once or more a week. I think it can help.
 
CenteredGirl - you may also want to add a prepoo to your routine to help you detangle and a protein to help strengthen your hair. Get a good trim to start with fresh ends to be better able to track progress and get rid of prior damage.

Chicorro's moisture drenched prepoo (do a search for her thread) helped me so much earlier on in my journey. I've modified that concept and these days, I use a prepoo mix of conditioners, oils and usually Kinky Curly Knot Today, put on a shower cap and go to sleep. Next morning, I detangle and co-wash in sections. I end up with silky moisturized hair.

If I'm pressed for time, I can do the prepoo - hop in the shower, wet down each section at the beginning of the shower to let it marinate (LOL), shower, then detangle at the end of the shower.

For protein - I use Aphogeen Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor, but like everything - find a protein that works for you by trial and error and always incorporate a deep condition after use.

Good luck!
 
Thank you ladies. Wanting to let you know that I am stepping away from the ledge and will take your advice and keep trying.

I'm ready to take some drastic action starting with a major trim. :blush:
 
If you use shampoo, then silicones aren't necessarily bad and may work for you. I have been using herbal essence conditioner lately, and it is easier to detangle my hair.

I agree that you should deep condition more often. I do it once a week.
 
I was natural for over 10 years and recently texlaxed. Best decision. I just didn't have time to deal with the tangling anymore. I could detangle for an hours, only for the hair to be tangling again the next morning. Not to mention the breakage. I was the queen of keeping my hair stretched. And even when I kept up with moisturizing and conditioning, I still struggled. I wanted length, but the breakage and tangling kept me at the same length for a long time.

Texlaxed and my hair has taken off again.

Now, I don't know about mixing relaxer and conditioner. I'd hate to see an ingredient in the conditioner react with something in the relaxer, resulting in a chemical that could cause damage. The only thing I've seem endorsed, commercially, to be added to relaxer is oil. Which means the method would've been laboratory tested for safety. I can't remember which brand it is, but there's a relaxer that comes with safflower oil to be mixed in.
 
4c hair needs to be in a constant stretched state, regular protein treatment (heavy one too), needs to be washed at least once a week, moisture and regular trimming. I learned this and my hair got quickly to my desired length.
 
CenteredGirl said:
Reggie:
Wash hair in 4 sections every 2 weeks
Deep condition every 2 weeks
Air dry


Products
No silicones
No sulfates
No petroleum

Style
Twists
Mostly protective styles
Click to expand...


Deep conditioning your hair only 24 days out of 365 days a year is too infrequent. Even if you condition your hair in braids, you need to do it more often.


I also agree with keeping your hair stretched. When my hair is not stretched, it will tangle like nobody's business!!! I also think stretching with some heat could help you. Like once a month, blow dry it lightly with warm air as you hold the hair taunt.

Why are you avoiding silicones/petroleum? How you use them is what matters to most so I am curious as to why you are avoiding them all together. I suspect your hair is VERY dry if you are avoiding them unless you are moisturizing and sealing every day faithfully.
 
CenteredGirl I don't know much about blow out, but in terms of stretching....have you tried stretching your natural twists?

Also, I would start prepooing with EVOO, then DC with a very hydrating conditioner. Try this once a week. I'd stop the air drying asap too. Try a twisted or braided bun- preferably on wet hair. And seal with a thick oil or oil mixture. I'd highly recommend Shea and castor. But most importantly, stay bunned.
 
Solila said:
CenteredGirl I don't know much about blow out, but in terms of stretching....have you tried stretching your natural twists?

Also, I would start prepooing with EVOO, then DC with a very hydrating conditioner. Try this once a week. I'd stop the air drying asap too. Try a twisted or braided bun- preferably on wet hair. And seal with a thick oil or oil mixture. I'd highly recommend Shea and castor. But most importantly, stay bunned.
Click to expand...

Thanks Solila. How do you stretch natural twists? By your response can i assume you mean twist my hair than put it up in a bun? Thank goodness I am a product hoarder, I have everything I need to carry out your suggestion :lachen:

This weekend, I am going to co-wash in small sections as recommended by Prettymetty and stretch my twist to dry (following a good prepoo, DC and seal.

Good thing I'm on this board. I would have ruined my hair by now.:blush:
 
Holla said:
Deep conditioning your hair only 24 days out of 365 days a year is too infrequent. Even if you condition your hair in braids, you need to do it more often.


I also agree with keeping your hair stretched. When my hair is not stretched, it will tangle like nobody's business!!! I also think stretching with some heat could help you. Like once a month, blow dry it lightly with warm air as you hold the hair taunt.

Why are you avoiding silicones/petroleum? How you use them is what matters to most so I am curious as to why you are avoiding them all together. I suspect your hair is VERY dry if you are avoiding them unless you are moisturizing and sealing every day faithfully.
Click to expand...

I avoid them because many ladies on many threads of this forum say not to use them. I think you are brilliantly correct on all bolded above. I am not keeping my hair moisturized. Your answer put everything in perspective.:yep: Thank you Holla.
 
faithVA
faithVA said:
What do you detangle your hair with? with a wide tooth seamless comb.

When was the last time you straightened your hair? I can't remember.

When was the last time you dusted/trimmed and did a protein treatment? probably December 2013

As a previous poster said you need to figure out what is causing your breakage before you texturize.Agreed.

It sounds like you have splits that are traveling up your strands. Not sure what the cause of it is though. Based on what the ladies have said thus far, I am not moisturizing my hair enough. I only DC 24/365 days!

You sound like you need to be on a regular dusting protein regimen to get your split ends under control.
Click to expand...
I am afraid of protein, but I will get my act together based on the suggestion set forth in this thread. Appreciate your time on this.
 
CenteredGirl said:
I avoid them because many ladies on many threads of this forum say not to use them. I think you are brilliantly correct on all bolded above. I am not keeping my hair moisturized. Your answer put everything in perspective.:yep: Thank you @Holla.
Click to expand...


Some avoid. Some use them regularly.

I use silicones/petroleum regularly. Going without leaves me with dry hair because I don't moisturize/seal daily. I don't have time for all of that so I need something that will keep my hair mositurized for days. I use a lot of dominican conditioners which have cones. I also use a clarifying shampoo every other wash to remove any buildup (VO5 clarifying poo is cheap). I try not to use a leavein with cones UNLESS I plan to use a flatiron. The cones will protect the hair from the direct heat damage.

I use plain petroleum jelly to do a HEAVY seal after moisturizing. This happens more in the winter when the air is really dry. Using oil is not enough to seal with really dry air. I will use a leave in, an oil, then a slight coating of petroleum or even crisco (<--YES!) to heavy seal. My hair will stay moisturized for DAYS when I do this. :yep:

You shoudl always test things out before following trends. If it doesn't work for you, then you can add your testimony to theirs. But if it DOES work for you, then you benefit - not them.

I also use protein regularly. Sometimes I just mix in a small amount with my deep conditioner to get it in that way. Other times (like a couple of times a year), I will use a heavy protein (Nexxus Emergencee) by itself after clarifying. Try it different ways to see if one will work for you to stregthen your hair.
 
CenteredGirl You're welcome luv! Yes, I meant, do twists with your hair and pull the twists maybe twice a day (once in the morning and once in the evening). Have you tried wet buns and dry twists?
 
CenteredGirl LOL Its really easy. You just dont dry your hair. Get out of the shower with wet hair and just apply product and style the bun. A day or two later, take out the bun and just twist your hair.
 
Soratachi said:
4c hair needs to be in a constant stretched state, regular protein treatment (heavy one too), needs to be washed at least once a week, moisture and regular trimming. I learned this and my hair got quickly to my desired length.
Click to expand...

True, I only recently realized this about my hair.
 
Report:
  1. Reviewed about a gazillion YouTube to get additional guidance.
  2. Figured out my hair is Lo Po - all these years I thought I was high po.
  3. Clarified my hair (washed in about 8 braids)
    • Also trimmed about 1.5 inches of rough ends. i think this is going to end
    • Used far less PRODUCT on hair.
    • Deep conditioned for 30 minutes
    • Stretched and baggied hair over weekend

      Boy oh boy does my hair feel lighter and less tangled. It is is BEAUTIFUL and light! Will keep it up and monitor need to clarify when hair gets icky. Hopefully I'll be full BSL in a couple of years. You guys rocked. Thanks.
 
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