Please don't stone me.......

[MJ]

Am I the only one who get the sense that the blog is a marketing ploy? I mean, who write pages after pages and create videos about how "marvellous" one hair product is? I wouldn't be surprised to learned that she is being paid by the company.

The blog reminds of the couple who were travelling around the country visiting Walmarts, and writing nice/happy/campy stories about the company, only for the public later to find out that they were being paid by Walmart, including the RV they were driving around in.

As for some of her comments that the little's girl's hair was "coarse and wirey," I really don't mind because I've used worse words to describe mine when it is driving me up the wall.

 

[Kurlee]

....

 

[Sistaslick]

In another post she claimed this stuff just "wears off". Excuse me it's a chemical process it's permanent. It will grow out but the hair it has already touched will never return to it's natural state. Call it what it is a weak "baby texturizer." If she wants to chemically treat her childs hair because she doesn't want to take the time to learn how to care for it fine.

She obviously has internet access there is tons message boards out there do a google search!

Yeah, sure it wears off . . . at the roots as the new hair tries to grow back in.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Am I the only one who get the sense that the blog is a marketing ploy? I mean, who write pages after pages and create videos about how "marvellous" one hair product is? I wouldn't be surprised to learned that she is being paid by the company.

The blog reminds of the couple who were travelling around the country visiting Walmarts, and writing nice/happy/campy stories about the company, only for the public later to find out that they were being paid by Walmart, including the RV they were driving around in.

As for some of her comments that the little's girl's hair was "coarse and wirey," I really don't mind because I've used worse words to describe mine when it is driving me up the wall.

A lot of us has too. I have seen it.

If half of "us" relax and can't even handle our own natural hair, why is it that we some how are putting high expectations on a white woman and getting angry because she can't handle it? Would this even be an issue if it was a black mom??

I'm just saying...

 

[MzOptimistic]

K, I dunno about y'all but im pissed. I don't have anything against interracial relationships, etc. But why in the the hell would you have a child with a black man, if you cannot accept/and embrace balck hair? her daughter has like 3a hair and she complains and behaves like its a problem. There are plenty of resources to cater to that hair type. What if her daughter would have had 4b hair? How would she behave then? She seems very prejudice or ignorant may be a better word, becasue I don't understand how you have a child of mixed race and you behave as though the "blacker" characterisitcs are a problem and need to be fixed? Her daughter is going to grow up with "issues" becuase whether she has 4b hair or 1b hair she should love it, shes only like 9 and she seeems so vain. If her hair is too "nappy" its like omg! fix it?! This irks me.

I agree, her daughter is going to have major issues. Her daughter has beautiful hair before she threw that relaxer in her hair

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I doubt the little girl will have serious issues over hair. I mean come on. I know I am about to commit a hairboard sin, but to a lot of people hair is just hair, it's not a big deal.

Half of us were relaxed growing up, and we are fine. How would you ladies like it if someone said you have "serious issues" with yourself because mama relaxed you at an early age?

 

[hrtbndr21]

Press release from Just For Me about the "texture softener". I can't believe they've brought a clinical psychologist in to this mess.

http://cf.us.biz.yahoo.com/prnews/070116/nytu080.html?.v=72

 

[Kurlee]

....

 

[Sistaslick]

I doubt the little girl will have serious issues over hair. I mean come on. I know I am about to commit a hairboard sin, but to a lot of people hair is just hair, it's not a big deal.

Half of us were relaxed growing up, and we are fine. How would you ladies like it if someone said you have "serious issues" with yourself because mama relaxed you at an early age?

Well actually, I may be in the minority, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't... but that's just me. I mean, I am fine--I don't have "serious issues" depending on what you mean by serious , but I do recognize the fact that I am having to battle with my hair and self-image issues because of being relaxed from a pretty young age. I'm 22 now, and still having a hard time with it. I think about this alot actually. I blamed my mom, but now that I'm older I can stop relaxing at any time I want right? Yeah...

I guess that's why I am so heated about this mom--- black or white. Her race doesn’t matter to me. I feel the same way about moms in general. I just see this kid who is having people tell her what is supposed to be beautiful, and at her tender age she trusts and believes all the hype. By the time she is old enough to cut through all the BS, some of it will have gotten so deep inside of her she won't know her own voice from all the other background noise. That happened to a lot of us. True, our moms didn’t come right out and say—YOUR HAIR IS “SCAREY”, write blogs dedicated to our “scarey” hair, or run out and create a lying *** relaxer product,-- but it was done subtly. I know I got the message.

But don’t get me wrong either, I’m not against relaxers. Because hey, I am relaxed myself I would like to go natural, but I know that there is more than manageability issues holding me back. And that’s real. That's not true for everyone, but it is for me. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

What I am against is little girls not getting the choice. I’m not talking about at 6 or 7, first or second graders begging for a relaxer, but at an older age where they can truly handle the personal and social pro’s and con’s of the decision. And I’m against mom’s projecting insecurities onto little kids whether it be about hair or any other personal issue- because they do not have the tools or maturity to defend themselves.

The other part is the fact that when you marry interracially, it requires a person to really think about what they are getting themselves into. You HAVE to be culturally sensitive and understanding or you are doing you, your mate, and any family you decide to create, a huge disservice. I guess I expected a higher level of conscience from her knowingly marrying into another race- and then bringing children into the world that share both of your cultures. If you know you have a problem with poofy hair and you marry a poofy-haired man-- then why all the drama when you have a poofy-haired kid? It was coming! You knew it! You didn't mind it on him, but it's a sin for your daughter? If you knew you were marrying a Hindu man (and you didn't have any strong religous convictions), would you be upset when you see him burning incense and teaching your children to do the same? If you married a tall man, would you be mad if your children came out tall? She knew what she was getting into and she made no effort to learn about or embrace it, rather she made every attempt to reject and destroy it.

 

[RabiaElaine]

All she did was wash the little girls hair and leave it wet

The product contains Sodium Hydroxide AKA Lye, it's a relaxer

The site specifically says it's NOT a relaxer!!!!!!!!!!! We should file a suit!

 

[Honi]

What she said....instead of a stone I'll throw popcorn at ya! :lol"

*tosses a stone*



Uh uh, this is hype, girl! Sounds like a regular old kiddie relaxer to me. Only thing they did was toss some sunflower oil in there (heck, we do that on here! and I use almond oil for mine!) and add some mommy-friendly words in there. Softening a texture means bond-breaking. This isn't a super duper conditioner. Its a relaxer re-marketed. Lasts 12 weeks? Uh Uh. They mean, your next touch up is scheduled in 12 weeks. Run.

 

[Cheleigh]

Well actually, I may be in the minority, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't... but that's just me. I mean, I am fine--I don't have "serious issues" depending on what you mean by serious , but I do recognize the fact that I am having to battle with my hair and self-image issues because of being relaxed from a pretty young age. I'm 22 now, and still having a hard time with it. I think about this alot actually. I blamed my mom, but now that I'm older I can stop relaxing at any time I want right? Yeah...

I didn't want to quote your whole post, but Sistaslick you brought the pain on this girl.

 

[cmw45]

Well actually, I may be in the minority, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't... but that's just me. I mean, I am fine--I don't have "serious issues" depending on what you mean by serious , but I do recognize the fact that I am having to battle with my hair and self-image issues because of being relaxed from a pretty young age. I'm 22 now, and still having a hard time with it. I think about this alot actually. I blamed my mom, but now that I'm older I can stop relaxing at any time I want right? Yeah...

I guess that's why I am so heated about this mom--- black or white. Her race doesn’t matter to me. I feel the same way about moms in general. I just see this kid who is having people tell her what is supposed to be beautiful, and at her tender age she trusts and believes all the hype. By the time she is old enough to cut through all the BS, some of it will have gotten so deep inside of her she won't know her own voice from all the other background noise. That happened to a lot of us. True, our moms didn’t come right out and say—YOUR HAIR IS “SCAREY”, write blogs dedicated to our “scarey” hair, or run out and create a lying *** relaxer product,-- but it was done subtly. I know I got the message.

But don’t get me wrong either, I’m not against relaxers. Because hey, I am relaxed myself I would like to go natural, but I know that there is more than manageability issues holding me back. And that’s real. That's not true for everyone, but it is for me. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

What I am against is little girls not getting the choice. I’m not talking about at 6 or 7, first or second graders begging for a relaxer, but at an older age where they can truly handle the personal and social pro’s and con’s of the decision. And I’m against mom’s projecting insecurities onto little kids whether it be about hair or any other personal issue- because they do not have the tools or maturity to defend themselves.

The other part is the fact that when you marry interracially, it requires a person to really think about what they are getting themselves into. You HAVE to be culturally sensitive and understanding or you are doing you, your mate, and any family you decide to create, a huge disservice. I guess I expected a higher level of conscience from her knowingly marrying into another race- and then bringing children into the world that share both of your cultures. If you know you have a problem with poofy hair and you marry a poofy-haired man-- then why all the drama when you have a poofy-haired kid? It was coming! You knew it! You didn't mind it on him, but it's a sin for your daughter? If you knew you were marrying a Hindu man (and you didn't have any strong religous convictions), would you be upset when you see him burning incense and teaching your children to do the same? If you married a tall man, would you be mad if your children came out tall? She knew what she was getting into and she made no effort to learn about or embrace it, rather she made every attempt to reject and destroy it.

We are not worth...we are not worthy!
:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

 

[MzOptimistic]

Well actually, I may be in the minority, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't... but that's just me. I mean, I am fine--I don't have "serious issues" depending on what you mean by serious , but I do recognize the fact that I am having to battle with my hair and self-image issues because of being relaxed from a pretty young age. I'm 22 now, and still having a hard time with it. I think about this alot actually. I blamed my mom, but now that I'm older I can stop relaxing at any time I want right? Yeah...

I guess that's why I am so heated about this mom--- black or white. Her race doesn’t matter to me. I feel the same way about moms in general. I just see this kid who is having people tell her what is supposed to be beautiful, and at her tender age she trusts and believes all the hype. By the time she is old enough to cut through all the BS, some of it will have gotten so deep inside of her she won't know her own voice from all the other background noise. That happened to a lot of us. True, our moms didn’t come right out and say—YOUR HAIR IS “SCAREY”, write blogs dedicated to our “scarey” hair, or run out and create a lying *** relaxer product,-- but it was done subtly. I know I got the message.

But don’t get me wrong either, I’m not against relaxers. Because hey, I am relaxed myself I would like to go natural, but I know that there is more than manageability issues holding me back. And that’s real. That's not true for everyone, but it is for me. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

What I am against is little girls not getting the choice. I’m not talking about at 6 or 7, first or second graders begging for a relaxer, but at an older age where they can truly handle the personal and social pro’s and con’s of the decision. And I’m against mom’s projecting insecurities onto little kids whether it be about hair or any other personal issue- because they do not have the tools or maturity to defend themselves.

The other part is the fact that when you marry interracially, it requires a person to really think about what they are getting themselves into. You HAVE to be culturally sensitive and understanding or you are doing you, your mate, and any family you decide to create, a huge disservice. I guess I expected a higher level of conscience from her knowingly marrying into another race- and then bringing children into the world that share both of your cultures. If you know you have a problem with poofy hair and you marry a poofy-haired man-- then why all the drama when you have a poofy-haired kid? It was coming! You knew it! You didn't mind it on him, but it's a sin for your daughter? If you knew you were marrying a Hindu man (and you didn't have any strong religous convictions), would you be upset when you see him burning incense and teaching your children to do the same? If you married a tall man, would you be mad if your children came out tall? She knew what she was getting into and she made no effort to learn about or embrace it, rather she made every attempt to reject and destroy it.

Excellent point Sista, excellent

 

[LaNecia]

That entire paragraph is foul.

True dat! But it made me laugh anyway!

 

[Radianthealth]

My main issue is that this woman does not seem to be teaching her daughter anything about self love and self acceptance "Embracing and loving both of the cultures that make up Brenna" . As a teacher I would expect better

 

[intellect_sensual]

Sistaslick said it perfectly. We all have been led to believe this lie, whether we want to admit it or not. We hear it from our friends when we stretch our perms, them saying we need a perm because we are just too nappy. Or even the adults around saying that so and so needs a perm because her hair is just too nappy and unruly. This is the main reason why alot of us have perms this day, because we were never taught how to embrace and care for our natural hair. This negative outlook on our hair must begin with us if we want a change. Then we can have an effect on other people around us and most importantly our own children.

 

[LaNecia]

True, our moms didn’t come right out and say—YOUR HAIR IS “SCAREY”, write blogs dedicated to our “scarey” hair...

No, not scarey...let me see if I can quote my mom from just two weeks ago..."had I had known that his side of family had such bad hair..." Been hearing that one since I was long enough to have ears..

Anyway, when I have my little girl, she'll be natural whatever her hair type is and she will know how to care for it PROPERLY.

 

[UmSumayyah]

No, not scarey...let me see if I can quote my mom from just two weeks ago..."had I had known that his side of family had such bad hair..." Been hearing that one since I was long enough to have ears..

Anyway, when I have my little girl, she'll be natural whatever her hair type is and she will know how to care for it PROPERLY.

And the proper form for squats, lunges and deadlifts!

 

[Kurlee]

....

 

[intellect_sensual]

I dunno but i think its ironic that so many of us, can identify with these "feelings". And I hope one day, we can fully be embraced not jus by oursleves, but others too.

Its not ironic. It is the only thing that would result from what we have been exposed to growing up until now You hear something so much that you start believing that it must be true.

 

[Kurlee]

...

 

[MzOptimistic]

No, not scarey...let me see if I can quote my mom from just two weeks ago..."had I had known that his side of family had such bad hair..." Been hearing that one since I was long enough to have ears..

Anyway, when I have my little girl, she'll be natural whatever her hair type is and she will know how to care for it PROPERLY.

That's what my fiance mother/family says about my youngest daughter hair...they say she got hair like her daddy....my fiance mother said she had to do a blow out to comb my fiance hair when he was little. My oldest daughter and I have 4a hair but it is very manageable but my youngest daughter hair is like 4Z but once I put that Cantu Shea butter leave in conditioner on her hair it becomes soooo soft and manageable

 

[lovelymissyoli]

...It's turning into an episode of Dr. Phil up in here. Look what you done did Sistaslick...

... someone please pass the tissues my way!

 

[sweetwhispers]

great post sistaslick

 

[pistachio]

I didn't read the sunflower mom blog, but what I don't understand is why so many people are getting upset and angry just because she honestly admitted that she was concerned about being able to tame her daughter's hair. Many of us are ignorant as to how to tame type 4 hair, and this is OUR hair texture! So why is there a big uproar over her not being able to tame type 4 hair? We're quick to "tame" our kids' hair and our own hair by slapping a tex./relaxer in it, and not bat an eye, but if she does it then she's racist?

 

[HoneyDew]

Press release from Just For Me about the "texture softener". I can't believe they've brought a clinical psychologist in to this mess.

http://cf.us.biz.yahoo.com/prnews/070116/nytu080.html?.v=72

and I did not even finish reading it. As a mother of a child of mixed heritage, as the article says, it never really seemed to be that serious. There are real problems that parents have to deal with these days no matter what color they are.

Here are some of the things from the article:

"As a father who has struggled with the hair issues and social issues of my own mixed-heritage kids and as a professional, I am thrilled to be the voice of the Sunflower Advisory Board because it's dedicated to un-masking issues and providing solutions to areas that have a significant impact on the lives of mixed-heritage children and their families" said Dr. Jeff Gardere.

Dr Jeff, the product of a White father and Black mother, both of Haitian descent, with his Latina wife Deyanira, have four children with a variety of hair textures, equipping him with personal experience as spokesperson for the Sunflower Advisory Board.

Other board members include two "spokesmoms." Kim Demerson, a Caucasian mother whose mixed-heritage daughter Brenna is featured on the Just For Me(TM) Texture Softener(TM) box, is the author of the popular blog "Sunflower Mom on a Mission" where she speaks on hair care and social issues that impact children of mixed-heritage, particularly at school.

"Sometimes parents don't know what to say to their kids when they come home from school and someone has asked them a tough question like 'if your dad is black and your mother is white, what are you?'" said Demerson. "I'm proud to be a part of this dialogue, because we plan to not only give parents the confidence in how to answer these questions, but also show parents how to re-enforce the confidence of their kids who may be struggling just to fit in."

 

[tammiematthews]

OMG!!! This "Sunflower Mom" makes me sick! I am too pissed!

 

[Sistaslick]

...It's turning into an episode of Dr. Phil up in here. Look what you done did Sistaslick...

... someone please pass the tissues my way!

I know chile, I know. I had to leave out on that note.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I didn't read the sunflower mom blog, but what I don't understand is why so many people are getting upset and angry just because she honestly admitted that she was concerned about being able to tame her daughter's hair. Many of us are ignorant as to how to tame type 4 hair, and this is OUR hair texture! So why is there a big uproar over her not being able to tame type 4 hair? We're quick to "tame" our kids' hair and our own hair by slapping a tex./relaxer in it, and not bat an eye, but if she does it then she's racist?

Maybe if you read the blog, you'd understand.