Playing matchmaker

[jshor09]

Ok my friend is a 31 year old single male and has no kids. He is about to give up on finding that special lady. He is nice has a job and a car. So why can't he find anyone? Any suggestions? I think he is a nice guy and would hate to see him shut out all prospects. I want to play matchmake but he doesn't want me too. Lol I think I may anyway.

 

[Carisa]

Honestly my first thought when reading this was are you sure he's not gay? If not then maybe he's trying to look for someone who is perfect and that person doesn't exist. I hope it all works out though.

 

[awhyley]

Um, how does he look (facially)?

 

[Mai Tai]

Over time, I have learned not to become so emotionally invested in other people's love lives. There could be many reasons why he is still single , that as his friend, may not be revealed to you.

He's grown. Whatever decisions he makes, whether it be to give up, or keep searching, is completely up to him, and nothing you do will change that once his mind is made up.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

you said job and car, you didnt mention if he lived on his own. Is he handsome? How is his demeanor? Because personality will get you further than a handsome or pretty face. Can we see a picture?

 

[lushcoils]

What does a nice job and car have to do with anything? What other qualities does he have? Maybe you should sign him up on the lhcf love thread in the off topic section.

 

[Mai Tai]

What does a nice job and car have to do with anything? What other qualities does he have? Maybe you should sign him up on the lhcf love thread in the off topic section.

THANK YOU!

Have things gotten so bad that a man with a nice job and a ride is now considered a "Good Man?" That is laughable...

How is is relationship with GOD?
Does he have children?
Does he have drama from previous relationships?
What is his personality like?
Does he have a sense of humor?
What does he look like?
Is he tall, short, average?
How is his personal hygiene?
Does he know how to wash his own clothes, and cook for himself?
How is he with managing finances?
How is his dyck game?

I mean there are so many questions that need to be answered?

 

[VelvetRain]

What does a nice job and car have to do with anything? What other qualities does he have? Maybe you should sign him up on the lhcf love thread in the off topic section.

Not a darn thing. There are way more variables that are seriously more important. Besides those are just material things. I know plenty of guys with those basic things and they are still butt heads.

 

[*SkolarStar*]

THANK YOU!

Have things gotten so bad that a man with a nice job and a ride is now considered a "Good Man?" That is laughable...

How is is relationship with GOD?
Does he have children?
Does he have drama from previous relationships?
What is his personality like?
Does he have a sense of humor?
What does he look like?
Is he tall, short, average?
How is his personal hygiene?
Does he know how to wash his own clothes, and cook for himself?
How is he with managing finances?
How is his dyck game?

I mean there are so many questions that need to be answered?

Good question.

 

[awhyley]

Dang Mai Tai, you broke it down!
(But to answer OP's question, playing matchmaker tends to backfire alot, that's why I don't recommend it).

 

[jshor09]

Lol. I know there is more to it then job and car. I don't know how the dating game works now a days. I just know having a job and vehicle is a start. He sent me msg to not playmatch maker anyway so I'm not going to. I was just wondering some qualities some single ladies look for. He is a nice guy, no kids, own place, not abusive,cooks, cleans, takes a shower lol so on. I have no clue about " bedroom qualities". So it doesn't matter and yea he is grown and maybe there is a reason he is still single. Maybe it was probably the age old question why do some nice guys finish last.

 

[MzLady78]

What does a nice job and car have to do with anything? What other qualities does he have? Maybe you should sign him up on the lhcf love thread in the off topic section.

I was gonna suggest this as well.

But yeah, we're gonna need some more stats.

 

[CarolinaGal]

OP, it sounds like your friend is a nice guy with great attributes. Of course having a job and a car are dating starting points because the reality is that women would rarely consider even getting to know a guy who is unemployed and without transportation. Furthermore, how would a man even try to date someone if he does not even have those basics covered? Most of the men I know are gentlemen and would not even feel right trying to date a lady if he were unable to court her. However, I won't belabor the point as there are other threads on this particular issue.

OP, I have a few male friends in the same predicament. They really want to find that special lady, but for one reason or another things have not worked out the way they would like. A few things to consider are location and work/life balance which are key contributors to positioning. In a sense he has to market and position himself accordingly. You can not meet someone if you are not presenting yourself properly and in the proper locations. For example, early in my career I was working in places with very few romantic prospects. So, if he is not in a location with ladies that are up to par, then I would suggest that he start traveling more to locations where he may be able to meet someone that is more of his speed. Another problem that my gentlemen friends have is that they simply work too much. Being a hard worker is truly admirable, but you can't meet anyone if you work 16 hour days and then just go home. Is he involved in the church, community volunteer organizations, any kind of recreational activities? Finally, the most important aspect is praying, trusting God, and waiting patiently. He may find that when he "gives up" it will give God room to work His plan in His time.

I hope that your friends gets the desire of his heart.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Lol. I know there is more to it then job and car. I don't know how the dating game works now a days. I just know having a job and vehicle is a start. He sent me msg to not playmatch maker anyway so I'm not going to. I was just wondering some qualities some single ladies look for. He is a nice guy, no kids, own place, not abusive,cooks, cleans, takes a shower lol so on. I have no clue about " bedroom qualities". So it doesn't matter and yea he is grown and maybe there is a reason he is still single. Maybe it was probably the age old question why do some nice guys finish last.

wait, you know what, as I read the responses I realized that A) hell I"M single an dont know why lol and 2) your friend just may be in the same situation as me and C) who am I to ask all these questions when I'm just as single and ready to mingle as him. If I could tell you why he single then I could tell you why I"M single

we were ready to tear him down huh, and how many women who came in asking question are single as well or have a GOOD man we a trip on lhcf

 

[song_of_serenity]

THANK YOU!

Have things gotten so bad that a man with a nice job and a ride is now considered a "Good Man?" That is laughable...

How is is relationship with GOD?
Does he have children?
Does he have drama from previous relationships?
What is his personality like?
Does he have a sense of humor?
What does he look like?
Is he tall, short, average?
How is his personal hygiene?
Does he know how to wash his own clothes, and cook for himself?
How is he with managing finances?
How is his dyck game?

I mean there are so many questions that need to be answered?

I like how asking how is his relationship with GOD in big bold letters starts it off and then asking how good is his peen action finished up the list.

OP, if he says he doesn't want you to look, it may be for a reason! Please respect that. I know you want to help but maybe he's not looking for what you may be bringing (someone did ask if he may be gay or just super picky for perfection) I know he's your friend and you want to see him happy but if he says "no thanks..." then well...hey.

 

[lushcoils]

wait, you know what, as I read the responses I realized that A) hell I"M single an dont know why lol and 2) your friend just may be in the same situation as me and C) who am I to ask all these questions when I'm just as single and ready to mingle as him. If I could tell you why he single then I could tell you why I"M single

we were ready to tear him down huh, and how many women who came in asking question are single as well or have a GOOD man we a trip on lhcf

I was gonna say the same thing! So many women on here are single, 30+, and looking. Are we assuming something is wrong with these ladies too? Let's not tear the man up yet. Let's hear his story first.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

THANK YOU!

Have things gotten so bad that a man with a nice job and a ride is now considered a "Good Man?" That is laughable...

How is is relationship with GOD?
Does he have children?
Does he have drama from previous relationships?
What is his personality like?
Does he have a sense of humor?
What does he look like?
Is he tall, short, average?
How is his personal hygiene?
Does he know how to wash his own clothes, and cook for himself?
How is he with managing finances?
How is his dyck game?

I mean there are so many questions that need to be answered?

Uhm.....how would she know this? Isn't he a friend or is he a friends with benefits?

 

[jshor09]

I'm going to respect his wishes and not going to play matchmaker. If he gives me an ok it will be a different story though. He isn't gay. Again I'm married so I have no clue about bedroom skills. But thanks for the thoughts about the situation.

 

[VelvetRain]

Uhm.....how would she know this? Isn't he a friend or is he a friends with benefits?

 

[chocolat79]

I guess my question would be, why doesn't he want you to play matchmaker? If he's giving up so easily, then he'll just have to do the best he can on his own.

I've never understood this about men. I have a friend who whines/cries about not finding anybody, "there's nobody in my area", "the women around here aren't good matches for me", etc. He shoots down every suggestion I make and he's ready to give up. SOOO, I suggested the LHCF love connection thread and kind of told him about it. He was all hesitant and talking about "wait, let me sleep on it, can I see the site," etc., etc. I just decided he can find a woman on his own. He's clearly not as concerned as he claims and I'm fresh out.

Like my daddy used to say when we didn't want to eat something that was already in the fridge, I guess you're not THAT hungry. And so, just like, my friend, maybe he's "just not THAT hungry". He'll figure it out; you did your part by offering.

 

[caltron]

It may be hard for you to see him objectively since he's your friend, but whenever you have a seemingly great single man who can't find a special lady, there is usually a very good reason why he's still single. Unlike women, men have a huge pool of available ladies to choose from, so if there's a "good" one who's unable to find a good woman then there is something wrong. Just my un-PC opinion.

When I dated in my 30's, I found that many of the guys who were in my age group and were still single with no kids all had some sort of defect that you really couldn't put your finger on until you had been with them for a bit. Some were annoying. Some were arrogant. Some had unrealistic expectations. Some were afraid of commitment. Some were just plain weird. Most women will work with a man that's halfway passable, but some of these guys were just not worth the effort. They may be just fine as friends, but intolerable as a life partner.

 

[vevster]

What ^^^ she said... I've seen it to many times.

Sent from my HTC Evo using the awesome LHCF Android app!

 

[Carisa]

It may be hard for you to see him objectively since he's your friend, but whenever you have a seemingly great single man who can't find a special lady, there is usually a very good reason why he's still single. Unlike women, men have a huge pool of available ladies to choose from, so if there's a "good" one who's unable to find a good woman then there is something wrong. Just my un-PC opinion.

When I dated in my 30's, I found that many of the guys who were in my age group and were still single with no kids all had some sort of defect that you really couldn't put your finger on until you had been with them for a bit. Some were annoying. Some were arrogant. Some had unrealistic expectations. Some were afraid of commitment. Some were just plain weird. Most women will work with a man that's halfway passable, but some of these guys were just not worth the effort. They may be just fine as friends, but intolerable as a life partner.

This is all true! Men don't usually have as slim pickings like women so when they are not married or don't have any children by at least mid 30's I will give them the side eye IMO.

 

[Mai Tai]

Uhm.....how would she know this? Isn't he a friend or is he a friends with benefits?

I had to ask cause ya never know...ya just never know...

I kid, I kid...

 

[FemmeCreole]

What does a nice job and car have to do with anything? What other qualities does he have? Maybe you should sign him up on the lhcf love thread in the off topic section.

She said he IS nice.... I guess there should have been a comma after nice.