Playing Hard to Get

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Can anyone explain to me what "playing hard to get" means? I've been told I act like this but I have no clue what I'm doing to deserve this title. I'm more of a direct person therefore I expect men to be also.

 

[msmills2U]

Don't be a yes girl. Don't drop what you are doing in order to spend time with a man. Don't accept last minute dates. Have your own mind to name a few

 

[tiara76]

People tell me I play hard to get as well....I don't...if a man is chasing me, or trying to hard or going out his way its because i haven't chose him and usually most likely never will....I'm very direct and I move fast....some guys like that challenge and that game but I'm really not playing it with them ..just don't want them like that ..
I will change plans for somebody if i really wanted to, I prefer last minute because I'm a last minute spur of the moment person and will spend alot of time with somebody im feeling..if Im not doing all of that its because im not into him

always do what you feel like doing is my motto...not what I dont want to do, not what i think im supposed to or should do, not what somebody else wants me to do

 

[Kiadodie]

People tell me I play hard to get as well....I don't...if a man is chasing me, or trying to hard or going out his way its because i haven't chose him and usually most likely never will....I'm very direct and I move fast....some guys like that challenge and that game but I'm really not playing it with them ..just don't want them like that ..
I will change plans for somebody if i really wanted to, I prefer last minute because I'm a last minute spur of the moment person and will spend alot of time with somebody im feeling..if Im not doing all of that its because im not into him

always do what you feel like doing is my motto...not what I dont want to do, not what i think im supposed to or should do, not what somebody else wants me to do

Girl, your attitude is like a man ..lol..and i mean that in a good way.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I agree with Tiara, do it how YOU want to. The key is being sensible and comfortable in the approach you take. Not every woman wants to or feels comfortable with playing hard to get.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Playing hard to get is to not make yourself too available to a man. The woman is supposed to seem independent with her own life and then see if she is able to fit the man into her schedule. You miss a few of his calls, don't call him back immediately or at all, miss a few dates... haha Its basically being a b!tch for no reason.

I tend not to play hard to get, I am hard to get. But whats funny is the men I reject are the men who keep pursuing me. I tend not to play games with men I like, but when I don't like are fair game. haha jk, I don't think any relationship should start with games.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Playing hard to get is to not make yourself too available to a man. The woman is supposed to seem independent with her own life and then see if she is able to fit the man into her schedule. You miss a few of his calls, don't call him back immediately or at all, miss a few dates... haha Its basically being a b!tch for no reason.

I tend not to play hard to get, I am hard to get. But whats funny is the men I reject are the men who keep pursuing me. I tend not to play games with men I like, but when I don't like are fair game. haha jk, I don't think any relationship should start with games.

Wow, I mean I do act independent but it's because I am. I'm not trying to "play hard to get"; either the man can approach me or stay away from me. I like men that know how to talk not watch me and decide that I'm playing games with them. I don't play games.

 

[TheGrimPhreaker]

Ahhh.... yeah I hear this all the time. I really don't do it on purpose-- I'm jut really aloof. I'm usually not aware that someone likes me until they flat out tell me-- otherwise I just consider them being friendly. I'm just not available because I really don't like talking on the phone, I read my books and do my art work.

When you have your own life, people either assume one of two things -- 1) You're stuck up, or 2) you're playing hard to get.

 

[chocolatethai]

Ahhh.... yeah I hear this all the time. I really don't do it on purpose-- I'm jut really aloof. I'm usually not aware that someone likes me until they flat out tell me-- otherwise I just consider them being friendly. I'm just not available because I really don't like talking on the phone, I read my books and do my art work.

When you have your own life, people either assume one of two things -- 1) You're stuck up, or 2) you're playing hard to get.

i agree especially with the last comment

 

[tiara76]

when you tell some people str8 up you are not feeling them they really think you are playin a game....and try even harder...I just told three different guys that Im not feelin them...one stopped talkin to me all together, one wished me love in life and the other apparently took that as a challenge to "get me'

 

[BrownieBrie]

I HATE the entire concept of playing hard to get. Games and rules are the reason so many people end up with their feelings hurt. Adults need to be honest and genuine about their feeling, intentions and expectations. I'm not saying be desperate, but if you feeling a guy, be real about.
And then there is the fact that many men are so used to "chasing" a woman they don't understand the word no, which is a whole 'nother thread.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

This thread made me think of this 90's song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZFxpiSNHJA

But I agree with Tiara, most women that appear to a guy to be "playing hard to get" just don't want to guy--not interested--and he's not getting the message for whatever reason.

 

[tiara76]

This thread made me think of this 90's song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZFxpiSNHJA

But I agree with Tiara, most women that appear to a guy to be "playing hard to get" just don't want to guy--not interested--and he's not getting the message for whatever reason.

pretty much and there was a point in my life where i kept these guys around for "passing the time" guys so that made it even worse because they actually thought they were getting somewhere when in reality when i had absolutely nothing else to do, including count the brown hairs on my cat I may just let them hang out with me, the times were infrequent however they took anything they could get and it made them try even harder and the minute somebody I was really feeling came along it was the deuces with the quickness....these days i'm real upfront to people in telling them how i feel....i can't make you stop buying me gifts or asking me out but you can't never say you didn't know what was up

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

pretty much and there was a point in my life where i kept these guys around for "passing the time" guys so that made it even worse because they actually thought they were getting somewhere when in reality when i had absolutely nothing else to do, including count the brown hairs on my cat I may just let them hang out with me, the times were infrequent however they took anything they could get and it made them try even harder and the minute somebody I was really feeling came along it was the deuces with the quickness....these days i'm real upfront to people in telling them how i feel....i can't make you stop buying me gifts or asking me out but you can't never say you didn't know what was up

In my early 20's before I got married I got labeled "hard to get" by a few guys--couldn't understand it, and felt guilty because I knew I wasn't giving out any mixed messages about wanting a relationship--I was just being friendly--so now that you got your feelings all involved and mine are not, I'm hard...hmmmmm.

I agree with you in that you have to nip "letting them know what's up from the start" right in the beginning, esp. if they are seeing something and you sense they are seeing something that's not there.

 

[Butterfly08]

I HATE the entire concept of playing hard to get. Games and rules are the reason so many people end up with their feelings hurt. Adults need to be honest and genuine about their feeling, intentions and expectations. I'm not saying be desperate, but if you feeling a guy, be real about.
And then there is the fact that many men are so used to "chasing" a woman they don't understand the word no, which is a whole 'nother thread.

I hear you, I do, but sometimes I think women fall so quick that they lose themselves in the process, always doing what HE wants when HE wants, dropping their plans for HIM. I think it's important to maintain aspects of your life that are important to you. If you need to curl up in the house with a book to unwind one or two days a week, or you have a standing nail appointment or workout schedule or whatever, keep it. Don't drop everything for a new love interest. Then if it doesn't last it's harder for things in your life to go back to normal.

This doesn't mean that you can't be honest - I ADORE honesty, but maintain some individuality. A lot of men will interpret that as playing hard to get.

 

[BrownieBrie]

I hear you, I do, but sometimes I think women fall so quick that they lose themselves in the process, always doing what HE wants when HE wants, dropping their plans for HIM. I think it's important to maintain aspects of your life that are important to you. If you need to curl up in the house with a book to unwind one or two days a week, or you have a standing nail appointment or workout schedule or whatever, keep it. Don't drop everything for a new love interest. Then if it doesn't last it's harder for things in your life to go back to normal.

This doesn't mean that you can't be honest - I ADORE honesty, but maintain some individuality. A lot of men will interpret that as playing hard to get.

That is VERY true, especially because we can be lead by our emotions. I definitely think you should maintain some individuality and keep doing you, but I don't consider that playing hard to get, just a healthy way to date.

 

[Butterfly08]

That is VERY true, especially because we can be lead by our emotions. I definitely think you should maintain some individuality and keep doing you, but I don't consider that playing hard to get, just a healthy way to date.

True - because you're not playing. But trust me some guys THINK you are, or see you as a challenge, especially if they're a catch or used to women running after them. A strong man appreciates a woman who doesn't drop her life for him. They like trying to woo you.