Philosophical Question: Why Risk a Relaxer?

[Junebug D]

Lol, I foresaw this happening.

 

[Poranges]

Lol, I foresaw this happening.

Can't we all just grow our hair? Can't we? Goes to show, you can never have a perfect setting.

 

[Junebug D]

Can't we all just grow our hair? Can't we? Goes to show, you can never have a perfect setting.

Aren't we? What's stopping anyone?

 

[Poranges]

Aren't we? What's stopping anyone?

The question of why do this? Hey, if its working for you, I'm no one to say anything.

 

[Lucie]

Everything is a risk. The very chair your sitting on, could give way and cause you to hit the ground and hurt yourself.

I do feel that my hair was healthier natural than relaxed. But since I am on LHCF, I need to spend less time on ET and OT and more time here until I get my desired results. However, once I get back on track, everything will be fine.

 

[Junebug D]

The question of why do this? Hey, if its working for you, I'm no one to say anything.

Well, the way I see it is she just asked a question. No one was forced to answer to her. I just want to know why knickers get twisted when this thread wasn't even trying to be... whatever it turned into.

 

[Denise11]

Well, the way I see it is she just asked a question. No one was forced to answer to her. I just want to know why knickers get twisted when this thread wasn't even trying to be... whatever it turned into.

Maybe folks should think before asking these types of questions. I think way too much of this mess is on purpose because there are way too many of these threads. Before y'all make these threads, I believe y'all already know how it's gonna go. Then when things get heated, y'all always say something like "she just asked a question" or "it's not about naturals vs relaxed heads". That's some mess!

 

[ceebee3]

Wow, there's really no need for the negativity. Someone posted a question if you don't care to see the answers don't read the thread. It's a hairboard, the purpose is to ask questions and hear from people who care to answer them. No one is going to like every question posted, if that's the case don't answer it.

 

[Rei]

 

[kblc06]

Your commentary was very honest. I can definitely identify with the bolded, even when I press my hair now.

Dear Christelyn,

Funny you should mention this; I have been thinking about this very thing.

I usually start thinking about it when I get late in my stretch. Week after week I wash, deep condition and mark off the weeks to my next relaxer. My fingers are up in my NG...I love it compared to my relaxed hair...it feels so strong and healthy. Yet I walk over to the calendar and count down the weeks to my next relaxer. I've been asking myself of late...if I'm stretching so well, why am I looking forward to the relaxer at all? Why relax at all? Relaxers are nothing but trouble in the end, their main benefit is wash and go hair and swimming. I haven't been able to fully answer my own question. I certainly don't look forward to the burning, the relief when the relaxer gets rinsed out and I reach back and feel that my hair is still on my head and not down the drain. And I LOVE hair like Sylver2's and Dsylla's. Big, Big hair. That's me. I'd never have to or even want to do a saran wrap....I don't need or want flat hair. So why relax? I don't know. There's something about the way straight hair slaps you in the back that's somehow satisfying...I call it the Pocahontas Effect. There's something about the way heads turn when you walk out of the salon. There's something about the envy in other women's (black) eyes that is utterly flattering. But I'll never forget what Cathy Howse said, 'every relaxer could be the one where you permanently damage the follicles and it will NEVER grow back into those damaged follicles'.

I am 13 weeks post today. If I had time I would've gone to the salon and gotten a touch up. Next week I'll be 14 weeks and loving my NG and deciding the same thing. I don't know why.

I think it is somehow culturally related.... the thought that a black woman's hair must be "done".

In the end, I know it can be done....transitioning without a BC...many have done it. Darn the demarcation line that scares you into the touch up...or maybe it should just scare us into a protein treatment.

I also tend to think scientifically. Hair is dead. Period. It is like our fingernails. Do we get bent out of shape getting acrylic extensions? It is not until you see the damage when they come off that you question their value. To alter hair, or nails is merely a fashion statement or personal preference. Protect the scalp, and it is much more of a non-issue than everyone tries to make it. Hair grows back. It's only hair.

I think if I ever transitioned....one day I'd relax again...just to get that swang.

M

 

[GeorgiaCutie]

Wow, there's really no need for the negativity. Someone posted a question if you don't care to see the answers don't read the thread. It's a hairboard, the purpose is to ask questions and hear from people who care to answer them. No one is going to like every question posted, if that's the case don't answer it.

The point is, the same question is getting asked over and over and over again it's just worded in a different way. That's what they are tired of. One thread will say Why do you relax? and another one will say Why aren't you natural? Either way it's gonna turn into a natural vs. relax debate.The naturals will say "Relaxing is bad", "Yall don't like your natural hair", "Society has been brainwashed to think straight hair is more beautiful" and the relaxed people will say "Relaxing makes my easier to deal with or "It's my hair, I'll do what I want to.This is how it goes down in every thread like this. If you don't believe me do a search.You'll see

 

[Luscious Locks]

Maybe folks should think before asking these types of questions. I think way too much of this mess is on purpose because there are way too many of these threads. Before y'all make these threads, I believe y'all already know how it's gonna go. Then when things get heated, y'all always say something like "she just asked a question" or "it's not about naturals vs relaxed heads". That's some mess!

I think that the asker was genuine in her question and that the thread went exactly the way it was supposed to go. The wonderful thing about philosophy is that you need other minds to help generate ideas--not consensus. Obviously we all don't agree.

I do think it is some mess though. Hahaha.

You know i have honestly put a lot of thougth into this...and i must say you are quite brave cause some peps will jump down your throat if you talk about their relaxer. I feel that it is a shame that we have to Break down our hair in order for it to be manigable. I totally understand the dilemna, but it is still sad nonetheless.

If your going to purposefully tear down your hair...then put the TIME, MONEY and EFFORT it takes to build it back up!!

1. I will not jump down your throat, but I very much disagree with you. The curl pattern of African American hair can be too tight to manipulate with a comb or even with hands. Because of said curl pattern our hair does not recieve the natural oils that our scalp produces and thus tends to be dry, and dryness leads to breakage. You can have breakage or styling issues with relaxed or natural hair. Relaxing the curl aids in manageability and styling if you so choose to style. Plain and simple. STYLE COMES DOWN TO CHOICE. But I do feel that once you start messing with chemicals, you better be ready with a bomb regimen to maintain the health of your hair.

I do not have mountains of available time to care for my hair in its natural state.

I also relax because it's easy to wash and go. I just slap my hair in a pony and am instantly sleek and chic.

Because to some.. straight hair equals beauty, acceptance, professionalism, length and until a certain people begin to admire curly/kinky hair straight hair will always be "in".

I can't agree with that statement outright: that straight hair equals beauty. The human eye appreciates smooth and shiny textures/things. That's why people wear jewelry or put rims on their cars. That's why people brush their teeth and exfoliate their skin. To be smooth and luminous. A relaxer is an easy way of smoothing things out to coax out shine. Highly textured hair more often than not does not shine. Plain and simple. 100.

why are "naturals" always so "concerned" about other people heads?

good grief

I mean, I concentrate on my own hair's health. I'm not all like "why ya'll using heat". "Why you eating that?", "did you excercise today?". All things could prohibit healthy hair growth...

just direct self and you'll be good.

A lot my friends and family members are natural or going natural. They have their problems too. As far as risk goes, it really is quite negligible! These chemicals don't burn on contant! It's really not that serious. All chemicals and heat tools should be used with care and LHCF grade knowledge. Please be yourself and do you. I feel sometimes that naturals can be very aggressive with their decision to go natural.

While it's a nice notion to be "pure" or natural or chemical free it's not always viable, necessary, or desired.

IT'S JUST HAIR in the end. It's on your head for warmth. Anything else outside of this considerations is just extra. It's a choice, and it should be fun--- not a war and not laborious.

I love straight/relaxed hair. I love the look, glamour, and polish of smooth straight hair. And I don't apologize for it.

 

[Christelyn]

Hi guys--OP chiming in here! When I posed the question, I was honestly thinking out loud. Like another poster said, with a philosophical question, varying ideas and thoughts are welcome. I sincerely wondered, in the face of such "risks" we (meaning me too because I was once relaxed) continue to relax. I equate getting a relaxer with other practices like tanning (definitely not good for you, makes you look old and causes cancer), wearing super high heels everyday (back injury, bad feet, etc.), wearing a g-string (common knowledge that they cause more infections), getting fake nails (breathing the chemicals are bad, can cause serious injury to the nails)

The point is, that many of us, if not all, have participated in doing these things, yet, on our quest to be "beautiful" we participate. The question I ask to you (and in turn myself) is...why?

 

[Denise11]

I don't think that she was genuine when she started the thread. Because, like you said, it went the way it was supposed to go. We all know how these threads go.

As GeorgiaCutie said, there are so many of these threads-just reworded.

I don't believe they mean well when they start these threads. We disagree on this one. But at least we agree that this is some mess! LOL

I think that the asker was genuine in her question and that the thread went exactly the way it was supposed to go. The wonderful thing about philosophy is that you need other minds to help generate ideas--not consensus. Obviously we all don't agree.

I do think it is some mess though. Hahaha.



1. I will not jump down your throat, but I very much disagree with you. The curl pattern of African American hair can be too tight to manipulate with a comb or even with hands. Because of said curl pattern our hair does not recieve the natural oils that our scalp produces and thus tends to be dry, and dryness leads to breakage. You can have breakage or styling issues with relaxed or natural hair. Relaxing the curl aids in manageability and styling if you so choose to style. Plain and simple. STYLE COMES DOWN TO CHOICE. But I do feel that once you start messing with chemicals, you better be ready with a bomb regimen to maintain the health of your hair.



I also relax because it's easy to wash and go. I just slap my hair in a pony and am instantly sleek and chic.



I can't agree with that statement outright: that straight hair equals beauty. The human eye appreciates smooth and shiny textures/things. That's why people wear jewelry or put rims on their cars. That's why people brush their teeth and exfoliate their skin. To be smooth and luminous. A relaxer is an easy way of smoothing things out to coax out shine. Highly textured hair more often than not does not shine. Plain and simple. 100.



A lot my friends and family members are natural or going natural. They have their problems too. As far as risk goes, it really is quite negligible! These chemicals don't burn on contant! It's really not that serious. All chemicals and heat tools should be used with care and LHCF grade knowledge. Please be yourself and do you. I feel sometimes that naturals can be very aggressive with their decision to go natural.

While it's a nice notion to be "pure" or natural or chemical free it's not always viable, necessary, or desired.

IT'S JUST HAIR in the end. It's on your head for warmth. Anything else outside of this considerations is just extra. It's a choice, and it should be fun--- not a war and not laborious.

I love straight/relaxed hair. I love the look, glamour, and polish of smooth straight hair. And I don't apologize for it.

 

[Nightingale]

I had a response, but I won't add to the mess.

*exits thread*

 

[Christelyn]

I don't think that she was genuine when she started the thread. Because, like you said, it went the way it was supposed to go. We all know how these threads go.

As GeorgiaCutie said, there are so many of these threads-just reworded.

I don't believe they mean well when they start these threads. We disagree on this one. But at least we agree that this is some mess! LOL

All I can say to this is...wow. Do you think I'm some troll starting a fight? Look at my history--this is not what I do. To be honest with you, I've never read a thread like this, otherwise, I would have had my question asked as answered. Denise11, do you like to contribute to drama? You were in another thread of mine, "who set you back", and you had some negativity so say about another completely harmless thread I originated. One thing is clear--you are quick to think the worst of me.

 

[La Colocha]

When i used to relax i never thought about any risks, i just did it. I had no idea how to take care of my hair and that's how i got damage. Now that i am natural i can see what i have done to my hair by not educating myself. There is no one to blame but me, sometimes i do want to relax again but i know that my hair cannot take it. Its just that way sometimes.

 

[Luscious Locks]

I don't think that she was genuine when she started the thread. Because, like you said, it went the way it was supposed to go. We all know how these threads go.

As GeorgiaCutie said, there are so many of these threads-just reworded.

I don't believe they mean well when they start these threads. We disagree on this one. But at least we agree that this is some mess! LOL

That we do.

All I can say to this is...wow. Do you think I'm some troll starting a fight? Look at my history--this is not what I do. To be honest with you, I've never read a thread like this, otherwise, I would have had my question asked as answered. Denise11, do you like to contribute to drama? You were in another thread of mine, "who set you back", and you had some negativity so say about another completely harmless thread I originated. One thing is clear--you are quick to think the worst of me.

No she's not. I'm sorry that you feel personally attacked. But if the both of you look at where the other is coming from you'd seen that there's no need for calling each other out. Denise has already been through this kind of thread a bazillion times, and being as how you are no newbie, Christelyn, she assumed that you had already been around the bend with this question. Plain and simple. Denise, I hope that you can take Christelyn at face value because on the internet, that is all you can do. I hope that the animosity/bickering stops here. Please.

 

[Denise11]

All I can say to this is...wow. Do you think I'm some troll starting a fight? Look at my history--this is not what I do. To be honest with you, I've never read a thread like this, otherwise, I would have had my question asked as answered. Denise11, do you like to contribute to drama? You were in another thread of mine, "who set you back", and you had some negativity so say about another completely harmless thread I originated. One thing is clear--you are quick to think the worst of me.

I stand by EVERYTHING I say. Because I don't say it if I don't mean it.

And as to that other thread about setbacks. The statement was that everyone has setbacks. When I said that not everyone does, because I have never had one, a lot of you felt like I said something terrible. I can't help that you all had them and I hadn't.

If you want to "call me out" on something, you should try to find something bad that I did.

I'm gonna continue to post in whatever thread that I want to. And I'm gonna say whatever I want to say.

 

[Poranges]

Okay can I get a whoooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaa.... and round we go Its all good ladies simple misunderstanding, why people choose to relax and stuff is their concern and why you choose to do what you do is yours! Lets all motivate each other instead of denouncing a certain hair state etc........ALL COOOOOL!!!

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I was going to put my two cents in..but, I think I'll back out of this thread...whew.

 

[Denise11]

Luscious Locks, you are right when you said to let this go. I'm letting it go right now.

This is like beating a dead horse. Useless.

 

[msa]

y'all are hilarious

 

[yuriko]

Yet again I am entertained.

 

[Seven7]

This is the reason why you do a search before asking a question. This question has been asked several times and every time it ends like this.

 

[TaurusAngel]

To answer the OP, I relax because its my preference. I've never suffered from a bad relaxer. I've suffered from not taking care of my relaxed hair, but that was on my part. Risks occur with everything we do. Walking, driving, all kinds of things so relaxing is just yet another "risk" I don't mind taking. I like it and thats that.

ETA: To the OP, I don't think that you were being rude or anything, but this type of thread has been done many times and it always ends badly. When you include Drain-o and Relaxer in the same post, its bound to be taken wrong. Also, comparing it to smoking? That is kind of offensive. I'm not an addict looking for my next relaxer hit. Just saying.

 

[Maracujá]

I think it's great that black women have so many hair choices, including relaxing or being natural.

 

[Christelyn]

This is the reason why you do a search before asking a question. This question has been asked several times and every time it ends like this.

Perhaps you are correct. But conversely, one must ask, 'why does a question, that obviously has merit, but has been asked often, cause some women on the board to be ready to pounce?' I can't speak for other posters of this question, but mine was inspired by seeing these types of horror stories related to relaxers and (I also mentioned permanent color in my OP) day in and day out, so it left me wondering and motivated to ask the question.

Sometimes I think at times, people on here are spoiling for a fight and will try to find it if possible. I'm not a trouble-maker, and I resent the implication that I am simply because I posed a question that inspired a healthy debate. This is a discussion board. Sometimes when you discuss, you get a debate. It's just that simple.

 

[michelle81]

Perhaps you are correct. But conversely, one must ask, 'why does a question, that obviously has merit, but has been asked often, cause some women on the board to be ready to pounce?' I can't speak for other posters of this question, but mine was inspired by seeing these types of horror stories related to relaxers and (I also mentioned permanent color in my OP) day in and day out, so it left me wondering and motivated to ask the question.

Sometimes I think at times, people on here are spoiling for a fight and will try to find it if possible. I'm not a trouble-maker, and I resent the implication that I am simply because I posed a question that inspired a healthy debate. This is a discussion board. Sometimes when you discuss, you get a debate. It's just that simple.

I think it's just the "beating the dead horse" thing that has some (including me) looking sideways at these type of questions (and I still consider myself a newbie).

Imagine you're at work. Every week, someone that you kinda know comes up to you asking the exact same question.

Ex: "Christelyn, why do you keep drinking that Coca-Cola?"

The first time or two you answer politely. After hearing that same mess over and over and over, you're bound to go OFF on that person. Just because Coke's were bad for her and she felt no one should use them, doesn't mean you agree.

Until then I think some are wondering why the exact same question about our Cokes (relaxers) is asked day in and day out and the same answer is given every time.

 

[jennboo]

If you (general) are tired of a certain topic/thread, why do you feel the need to post in it?

If the topic infuriates you, is irritating, pushes buttons, is not worthy of a response, has been beaten to death, makes you uncomfortable...it makes sense to me to not read/post in it.