Philosophical Question: Why Risk a Relaxer?

[ceebee3]

I relaxed because I'm lazy and I never knew how to do my hair and because I never did my hair before and because I don't want to start all over right now going natural. One day, one day.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Au Natural all my life until about 6 years ago. The risks every thing in this world has a risk. No matter how safe we try to live. I feel that it is all in a persons level of choice and comfort. However, when I do have my second child I will be going Au Natural again.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

why are "naturals" always so "concerned" about other people heads?

good grief

I mean, I concentrate on my own hair's health. I'm not all like "why ya'll using heat". "Why you eating that?", "did you excercise today?". All things could prohibit healthy hair growth...

just direct self and you'll be good.

I think OP wants to know because of her own personal experience. It was traumatic for her, and she made the assumption it was for everyone and wanted to know why they continue to do it. I do not think it was a "concern", just curiosity.

 

[ryanshope]

Well OP,

When I did relax, it was a personal preference. I didnt have any "major" setbacks and my hair was "thriving" considering the fact that I was still chemically processing it.

When I decided to go natural it was because I knew I didnt want to be 40-50 years old still relaxing my hair and I know that even with the "BEST" care that my natural hair would be healthier than relaxed hair. Period. So I couldn't in good conscious continue to breakdown my already "dead" hair and then "rebuild" the protein structure so that I could do it again in 6 weeks-6 months-1 year.

I thought your post was direct and focused on a specific risk-using relaxer but some people, especially when you use a buzzword like "risk"; people become offended and feel the need to justify their actions with counter arguments "like well what about ALL the other risk out there".

Bottom line is that a relaxer is a CHEMICAL process and whenever a CHEMICAL process is used there is ALWAYS a risk associated with using one. Hence the need for plastic gloves, protective creams and neutralizing shampoos. JMO.

Well, most of you know that I like to throw out these kinds of questions on occasion. After reading of the horror story threads about burning, under processing, over processing, breakage, loosing edges, all-over hair loss and the use of Drain-o, I have to finally ask--why even risk using it?

Now, I used to have a relaxer for years when I was a teenager and into early adulthood. I got burned regularly, my hair was alway limp (I have fine hair) and my hair never passed shoulder length, if that. I finally decided that I didn't want to be dependent on chemicals for the rest of my life so I gave it up without a BC (you can imagine my breakage).

It seems that with other modes of hair styling in which there is a temporary alteration--color rinses, pressing, flat ironing, twisting, etc.--things can be UNDONE. But with relaxers or even permanent color, if there is damage, forget it. There doesn't seem like much can be done. I know that many on this board have been able to successfully stretch their relaxers, thereby reducing some risk. But, it still only takes one wrong move, one rogue hairdresser, and it could be all over.

So...why do it? Is it like smoking? We know the risks, weigh the benefits, and cross our fingers?

 

[msa]

I thought your post was direct and focused on a specific risk-using relaxer but some people, especially when you use a buzzword like "risk"; people become offended and feel the need to justify their actions with counter arguments "like well what about ALL the other risk out there".

Bottom line is that a relaxer is a CHEMICAL process and whenever a CHEMICAL process is used there is ALWAYS a risk associated with. Hence the need for plastic gloves, protective creams and neutralizing shampoos. JMO.

I agree completely.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

I'm going to be one of those irritating people that answer's a question with a question (don't you hate when people do that)

The OP is asking why risk a relaxer. I beseech you therefore bretheren:

*Why get in your car and drive everyday? (you could have a wreck)
*Why eat? (you could get food poisoning)
*Why go out and get the mail? (you could get robbed)
*Why go to the movies? (someone behind you could poke you with an aids needle)
*Why go into a building? (it could cave in)
*Why use the potty? (a snake could come up the sewer pipes and bite your booty)
*Why wash your face with tap water? (there's chemicals and stuff in the water)
*Why don't you shut up now Supergirl?

Repeat this please, why sleep....u could die in your sleep, why shower you could sip and fall and burst your head and die from brain damage, we all take risk every day, if we didn't we would live very unhappy lives.

 

[LushLox]

I don't see why anyone should feel as if they have to justify their actions. It's their choice at the end of the day. Just as long as they're are giving their hair the care that it needs is the most important thing imo.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

I don't understand why does it seem like it's the natural heads vs the relaxed heads......I THINK ALL HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL IF IT IS TAKING CARE OF........

 

[msa]

I don't understand why does it seem like it's the natural heads vs the relaxed heads......I THINK ALL HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL IF IT IS TAKING CARE OF........

It really isn't about relaxed v. natural at all. People just take stuff all out of proportion. She asked a specific question and people are answering it. Just because different people may not agree does not mean it's a relaxed v. natural showdown.

I don't know why it has to be taken there every single time.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Why risk it? Because women (ALL RACE OF WOMEN) will risk life, tooth and limb to be considered beautiful. And straight hair is associated with beauty.

I'm confused, so are you saying we relaxed so we can be beautiful? Cuz all women are beautiful, and straight hair isn't a sign of beauty, neither should weight, height, skin tone, etc, beauty should be based on personality and attitude. If a woman feels she has to relaxed her hair to be beautiful, then that's a personal problem. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I was natural and I still felt beautiful, but it's about what one can tolerate, and what one has time for. I relaxed because I want to not because I consider it a risk. Every day is a risk.......A person is beautiful or should atleast think they are beautiful no matter what type of hair they have. It shouldn't be about hair, or anything else.....it should be about one's happiness and what they want....not what's considered beautiful or what's good for them.....beauty is everywhere, one shouldn't risk nothing to be beautiful. Society believes we should relax, and I'm one who doesn't care about society, I care about my happiness and living my life, so if some people believe being relaxed is a risk then so be it, I'll be relaxed and beautiful and will love myself even if I was bald headed.......

 

[GoingNatural]

i didn't know the risks. I was going into High School and I just wanted long, straight, SWANGIN' hair!

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

It really isn't about relaxed v. natural at all. People just take stuff all out of proportion. She asked a specific question and people are answering it. Just because different people may not agree does not mean it's a relaxed v. natural showdown.

I don't know why it has to be taken there every single time.

I was just playing, please don't be serious with me, cuz I think all hair types are beautiful, I just don't like people saying, relaxed hair is the devil....I feel like one is attacking my choice of style.....this is a hair forum not a debate team.....

 

[exoticmommie]

Tried going natural twice, didn't care for it. I love being a relaxed head, especially now that I have the knowledge and tools to better care for it.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

Thank God for Freedom of 'Choice' and Personal 'Preference.' At this stage of my life, I feel no explanations, excuses or justifications need to be made at all. And that is in every area of my life. It's just that simple.

 

[msa]

Some people don't know how to answer a simple question.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I was just playing, please don't be serious with me, cuz I think all hair types are beautiful, I just don't like people saying, relaxed hair is the devil....I feel like one is attacking my choice of style.....this is a hair forum not a debate team.....

To me, no one really attacks it though. It's just taken that way. People can be anti-relaxer (the chemicals) and not be anti-People using it.

I am anti-alcohol, anti-tobacco, and anti-drug, but I have no problem with people if they choose those things. I may never understand WHY someone would want to do those things, but I am cool with whatever decision they make.

 

[ceebee3]

I haven't seen anyone attacking relaxers, they're just stating the facts. I'm relaxed and I know those chemicals are not good for my hair. There is no argument.

 

[loolalooh]

Well, most of you know that I like to throw out these kinds of questions on occasion. After reading of the horror story threads about burning, under processing, over processing, breakage, loosing edges, all-over hair loss and the use of Drain-o, I have to finally ask--why even risk using it?

Now, I used to have a relaxer for years when I was a teenager and into early adulthood. I got burned regularly, my hair was alway limp (I have fine hair) and my hair never passed shoulder length, if that. I finally decided that I didn't want to be dependent on chemicals for the rest of my life so I gave it up without a BC (you can imagine my breakage).

It seems that with other modes of hair styling in which there is a temporary alteration--color rinses, pressing, flat ironing, twisting, etc.--things can be UNDONE. But with relaxers or even permanent color, if there is damage, forget it. There doesn't seem like much can be done. I know that many on this board have been able to successfully stretch their relaxers, thereby reducing some risk. But, it still only takes one wrong move, one rogue hairdresser, and it could be all over.

So...why do it? Is it like smoking? We know the risks, weigh the benefits, and cross our fingers?

Sometimes knowing the risks isn't enough to stop some people - including me. Sometimes we must experience the risk before we stop. And even still, the alternative must be convincing enough for us to switch.

I had similar relaxer woes to yours and continued to relax when I found the forums. I was convinced that stretching relaxers and using non-mineral oil products would help, but I still had issues with my hair. I didn't stop using relaxers UNTIL I got fed up with experiencing the risks AND learned that natural hair was an option.

Truth be told, if I never experienced the burned scalp, stuck at SL, thin relaxed hair that I experienced I would have never gone natural. However, now that I'm on this side of this fence, I see the grass is truly greener for me and I'm happy.

 

[sprungonhairboards]

Really?? Again?? Good lord

 

[Chevelure618]

Dear Christelyn,

Funny you should mention this; I have been thinking about this very thing.

I usually start thinking about it when I get late in my stretch. Week after week I wash, deep condition and mark off the weeks to my next relaxer. My fingers are up in my NG...I love it compared to my relaxed hair...it feels so strong and healthy. Yet I walk over to the calendar and count down the weeks to my next relaxer. I've been asking myself of late...if I'm stretching so well, why am I looking forward to the relaxer at all? Why relax at all? Relaxers are nothing but trouble in the end, their main benefit is wash and go hair and swimming. I haven't been able to fully answer my own question. I certainly don't look forward to the burning, the relief when the relaxer gets rinsed out and I reach back and feel that my hair is still on my head and not down the drain. And I LOVE hair like Sylver2's and Dsylla's. Big, Big hair. That's me. I'd never have to or even want to do a saran wrap....I don't need or want flat hair. So why relax? I don't know. There's something about the way straight hair slaps you in the back that's somehow satisfying...I call it the Pocahontas Effect. There's something about the way heads turn when you walk out of the salon. There's something about the envy in other women's (black) eyes that is utterly flattering. But I'll never forget what Cathy Howse said, 'every relaxer could be the one where you permanently damage the follicles and it will NEVER grow back into those damaged follicles'.

I am 13 weeks post today. If I had time I would've gone to the salon and gotten a touch up. Next week I'll be 14 weeks and loving my NG and deciding the same thing. I don't know why.

I think it is somehow culturally related.... the thought that a black woman's hair must be "done".

In the end, I know it can be done....transitioning without a BC...many have done it. Darn the demarcation line that scares you into the touch up...or maybe it should just scare us into a protein treatment.

I also tend to think scientifically. Hair is dead. Period. It is like our fingernails. Do we get bent out of shape getting acrylic extensions? It is not until you see the damage when they come off that you question their value. To alter hair, or nails is merely a fashion statement or personal preference. Protect the scalp, and it is much more of a non-issue than everyone tries to make it. Hair grows back. It's only hair.

I think if I ever transitioned....one day I'd relax again...just to get that swang.

M

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I am natural now, but I want to relax because I use way too much heat to style my hair. I also researched that you could have heat stretched hair. I tried that, but the work I put in just for it to frizz up really is discouraging to me. I prefer strait styles and curly. I am going to texlax for a happier medium. Now that I have an idea on how to do natural styles, it will be easier for me to care for. I have been relaxed and natural so many times and I always went back to relaxing due to frustration. This time I'm making an informed choice to relax in the future.

 

[Aggie]

It's my hair and I'll relax if I want to....tis all.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Dear Christelyn,

Funny you should mention this; I have been thinking about this very thing.

I usually start thinking about it when I get late in my stretch. Week after week I wash, deep condition and mark off the weeks to my next relaxer. My fingers are up in my NG...I love it compared to my relaxed hair...it feels so strong and healthy. Yet I walk over to the calendar and count down the weeks to my next relaxer. I've been asking myself of late...if I'm stretching so well, why am I looking forward to the relaxer at all? Why relax at all? Relaxers are nothing but trouble in the end, their main benefit is wash and go hair and swimming. I haven't been able to fully answer my own question. I certainly don't look forward to the burning, the relief when the relaxer gets rinsed out and I reach back and feel that my hair is still on my head and not down the drain. And I LOVE hair like Sylver2's and Dsylla's. Big, Big hair. That's me. I'd never have to or even want to do a saran wrap....I don't need or want flat hair. So why relax? I don't know. There's something about the way straight hair slaps you in the back that's somehow satisfying...I call it the Pocahontas Effect. There's something about the way heads turn when you walk out of the salon. There's something about the envy in other women's (black) eyes that is utterly flattering. But I'll never forget what Cathy Howse said, 'every relaxer could be the one where you permanently damage the follicles and it will NEVER grow back into those damaged follicles'.

I am 13 weeks post today. If I had time I would've gone to the salon and gotten a touch up. Next week I'll be 14 weeks and loving my NG and deciding the same thing. I don't know why.

I think it is somehow culturally related.... the thought that a black woman's hair must be "done".

In the end, I know it can be done....transitioning without a BC...many have done it. Darn the demarcation line that scares you into the touch up...or maybe it should just scare us into a protein treatment.

I also tend to think scientifically. Hair is dead. Period. It is like our fingernails. Do we get bent out of shape getting acrylic extensions? It is not until you see the damage when they come off that you question their value. To alter hair, or nails is merely a fashion statement or personal preference. Protect the scalp, and it is much more of a non-issue than everyone tries to make it. Hair grows back. It's only hair.

I think if I ever transitioned....one day I'd relax again...just to get that swang.

M

Wonderful post.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I was natural once. I don't care to do it again right now.

 

[Aggie]

I'm going to be one of those irritating people that answer's a question with a question (don't you hate when people do that)

The OP is asking why risk a relaxer. I beseech you therefore bretheren:

*Why get in your car and drive everyday? (you could have a wreck)
*Why eat? (you could get food poisoning)
*Why go out and get the mail? (you could get robbed)
*Why go to the movies? (someone behind you could poke you with an aids needle)
*Why go into a building? (it could cave in)
*Why use the potty? (a snake could come up the sewer pipes and bite your booty)
*Why wash your face with tap water? (there's chemicals and stuff in the water)
*Why don't you shut up now Supergirl?

 

[Aggie]

Wonderful post.

I concur SSPP...

 

[The Princess]

I love my relaxed hair. I don't take it has a risk. Just take care of your hair. This board and other sites gives out super valuable information on how to prevent relaxer damage and keep your hair healthy. I for once am growing out my hair and it growing and almost APL. The key is to take care of the hair. Its a neverending cycle, and if you give up, your hair will give up too.

 

[Bachelorette]

coloring/dying one's hair is also a risk. any reason why that;s never questioned?

 

[Bachelorette]

why are "naturals" always so "concerned" about other people heads?

good grief

I mean, I concentrate on my own hair's health. I'm not all like "why ya'll using heat". "Why you eating that?", "did you excercise today?". All things could prohibit healthy hair growth...

just direct self and you'll be good.

Never understood this "curiosity" myself

 

[Poranges]

Three Pages?! Lol..OMG...ShiShiPooPoo explained it for me.